As the Wind Blows
by HeroOfTheCastleOfMarble
Summary: Sequel to Wind and Waves.A love was lost before James ever loved Lily.Now almost 7 years later it must be saved, before time runs out on the ex-pirates.Because while the English aren't after them anymore, the Pirates certainly are.Read and Review!
1. Prologue

_Hi again!!! I decided to, for fun, write a sequel to Wind and Waves. I guess I wasn't quite ready to leave the pirate world :) Anyway, I know that because of the outcome of Wind and Waves, this story is more AU than the last, but that's just how it worked out. I do have a plot for this, but some of the finer points aren't worked out yet, so it may take some time. My hope is that you all will enjoy this story as much as Wind and Waves. _

**_Warning: If you have not already read Wind and Waves please go and read it - as this is its sequel :)_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the familiar Harry Potter characters; I do own my characters and my plot_**

_Without further ado..._

_As the Wind Blows_

Prologue

Darkness had fallen on the small town, and many of the inhabitants had closed their shutters, barred their doors, and tucked themselves tightly in their beds. But in the pub near the other end of town, lights blazed and music rang from the shabby walls and broken windows, leaking out into the once-quiet streets.

The pub was filled to the brim, women on the arm of almost every man, and every man leaning for support from their drunken legs. Music from the sagging piano in the corner blasted the eardrums, and the barman slid pint after pint of rum down the bar to the stumbling men. Laughter drifted above the din, and time after time one man would be led up the stairs by a woman, disappearing into one of the secluded bedrooms above.

Remus Lupin lounged at a table against the wall, smiling slightly at the play before him, amusingly watching each man as they grew more and more drunk. His own rum was only slightly touched and he still had most of his head about him.

His eyes caught the figure steadily coming towards him and his smile widened ever so slightly. She sat down across the table, leaning her pale elbows on the table and leaning her child-like face on her palms. Her bluer-than-blue eyes glittered with happiness and her lips, as red as the blood that was now pulsing quickly through Remus' body, curled in a sweet smile.

"Remus." She said slowly, her voice drifted like bells over the din, for his ears only. He smiled at her, reaching across the distance and brushing a golden lock of hair off her china cheek. She leaned her head against his cheek and he felt her breath tickling his palm.

Dropping his hand, Remus took her hand and pulled her to her feet, leading her out from the pub and into the street. They walked side by side through the town and the moonlight made her almost glow. Her dress seemed all the more regal on her body than any other wench – red to match her lips and a flowing pink skirt that brought out the blush on her cheeks. She giggled at him, leaning against his shoulder and whispering words that made Remus' heart soar to the stars.

They finally arrived at the beach, the cold water eroding the sand. Remus let go of her hand and stepped forward, staring out at the sea that stretched out before him, reflecting the stars and moon from the black sky. He turned back, smiling, to the girl, but froze suddenly as he stared at her.

No longer did the moon reflect from her skin. Her clothes had faded to a dismal blush that was barely visible in the shadow she now stood. Her eyes were dim and gray, and her hair darkened and falling in uneven locks around her drawn face.

"You left me." Her voice cracked and broke, like rock falling from a cliff. "You ran away."

Remus swallowed hard. "I didn't mean…I tried…when I came back…" He stumbled over his words. Wind whipped around his face and he glanced over his shoulder to see dark ships looming on the horizon and the sky filled with dark circling clouds, like sharks around meat. He swallowed again.

"You said you loved me." The voice was sad, barely being able to be heard over the wind and waves that were now battering the shore. But Remus heard every word. "You didn't mean it."

"I did…I do…I'm sorry…" He stepped toward her and she stepped away, her face still sad.

"I might be dead now." She said, her voice cutting now. "You stopped looking for me…you gave up on me…"

Remus felt his body shaking under the weight of her words. "I tried…but…" His words felt weak against hers.

She shook her head at him. "I'm gone…you lost me…you left me…you failed...I'm gone…you lost me…." The words repeated and with every word the wind increased, with every breath the waves battered harder, and Remus stepped backward, stumbling over his feet and falling into the water….

Eyes snapping open Remus lurched upward from his bed, his chest heaving and his shirt soaked with sweat. His limbs shook and he put his head in his hands, closing his eyes and listening. There was no sound of wind, nor sound of waves. And there was no girl.

Swallowing, Remus looked over across the room. Sirius rolled over in his hammock, muttering in his sleep and curling deeper under the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. Remus let out a breath and pulled himself from his bed, slowly stepping from the room. He made his way past one door and than another down the hall until he found himself on deck.

No one was at the wheel, and the crow's nest was empty, as it had been for awhile now. Remus walked over and leaned against the rail of the ship, staring out into the clear night. He let out a long, pained breath and bent his head down on his arms, hiding his face from the glare of the moon.


	2. Three Months and All's Well

A/N: I apologize that it's taken me so long to get this chapter up, however not only do I have a lot going on this year (play, projects, AP classes...life in general actually), but this chapter was also re-written about, oh, five times. So hopefully it's at it's best now. :)

There were a few questions that seemed general in a lot of the reviews I recieved and so I'm going to answer them all in one swoop: Yes this is going to deal with Remus and his...past let's call it. However, that by no means implies that Lily and James are going to be going on in blissful happiness in the backround, quite the opposite. They're not perfect and there are still somethings that are going to have to be resolved. They are going to continue to be a integral part of this story. Nor will the the relationship between Sirius, Remus, and James be dropped - that is just as important as it was before.

I think I also might have created some confusion because of my summary. It is not years later as the summary might have implied, but only three monthes after the last scene - aka the battle with Riddle (hence the title). I know there was some worry about that, and how that would've resulted in a huge and infuriating time gap. I'm not that cruel. The 'years' that were referred to in the summary was the years that had passed between when the 'love was lost' and the present time.

I hope that clears everything up for you guys. Anymore questions please don't hesitate to ask - I will try to be better about replying to reviews, it has simply been a lack-of-time issue for me. But now, enough of my rambling -- on with the chapter.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters related to it. I do own Cook, any other person you do not recognize and the dialogue, action, and storyline. **

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Chapter 1: Three Months and All's Well

Deep hazel eyes gazed out across the deck of the once-pirate ship, taking in the smoothed wood and repairs that had finally been completed by the men who now mingled around the red-haired woman, to which the hazel eyes found their destination. A small smile crossed James Potter's face as he watched her lips pull back in a smile of her own, directed at the mousy-haired man who sat on a barrel, leaned against the mast, watching her as a nanny would a child; though James knew if the analogy was ever used in Lily's presence, he could expect to need the nanny for his own safety.

An elbow into his arm caused James to jerk from his gaze, as a dull pain ran down from his shoulder. Reaching up to touch the wounded limb, he glanced, irritated, at the smirking man beside him.

"What?"

Sirius Black's grin widened in response. "Just thought I'd get your attention away from the lovely Miss Lily."

James frowned, a faint red blush beginning to stain his cheeks. "What makes you think I was looking at Lily?" He questioned as calmly as he could muster.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well you weren't looking at Cook."

James' lip twitched, and he glanced back over at the red-head.

"Not that I'm complaining." Sirius pointed out. "The way I figure it we should be showering her with our gratitude."

James smiled slowly. "Really?"

Sirius shrugged a shoulder, leaning on the wheel he was supposed to be steering. "Well, think of where we would be if she'd never come on the ship. We'd still have a dark shadow haunting our every moment, we'd still be our nasty, dark pirate selves"- James snorted and Sirius gave him a side-long look - "And of course you would be lacking the potato shaped imprint on the back of your thick skull - though I must say I think, overall, it's an improvement."

James wrinkled his nose at his best friend and first mate. "Thanks." He muttered sarcastically. He looked back across the ship, this time sending his eyes toward each member of the crew who occupied the upper deck. "Three months." He murmured.

"And all's well." Sirius reminded him. "Not looking over your shoulder…"

"Nothing to look for." James smiled at the fact.

"Nightmares?

"I haven't slept as soundly since I was a babe…and maybe not even then, you know how Remus punches in his sleep."

Sirius chuckled. "Yeah…I remember having to fit into one of those single-sized beds with the two of you at the orphanage. If memory serves, you kick quite frequently."

James smirked at him, his eyes glittering mischievously. "And you snore obnoxiously."

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "We all have faults, mate. Luckily I only show mine when everyone else is asleep."

His friend rolled his eyes. "When everyone else is _trying _to sleep."

Sirius laughed, and his hand, out of habit, went to his abdomen, rubbing his side where the jagged scar was still a dull red, hiding under his shirt and a thin layer of bandage. Though the throb had faded to a soreness in the past few days, moving in the wrong direction still caused him a sharp intake of breath and mild pain - and of course a reminder of what had transpired three months earlier.

James caught his friend's action and fought the urge to rub his own shoulder again. Underneath the shirt and coarse bandage was his own scar, one of many, but the one that had taken the longest to heal. It was still an evident line along the skin of his shoulder. While he'd stood his ground against any more use of a sling, his shoulder still protested moving as freely as it once had.

Glancing back toward Lily, James didn't have to see her face clearly to know of the scar that now ran across her cheek, the only visible reminder of her near death at Riddle's hands. The thought caused James' stomach to twist uncomfortably, and the smile faded from his lips.

"You'd think it'd be boring." Sirius muttered after a few moments, more to himself than to James.

James blinked and turned his eyes from Lily to look back at Sirius. "What would be?"

"Not being a pirate anymore…not stealing or marauding…"

James cocked an eyebrow at Sirius. "If I didn't know better I'd think you missed it."

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe…a little…it was exciting you have to admit."

The other man ran a hand through his messy dark hair. "Yeah…" James allowed. "But that excitement…it wasn't worth - "

"Death at the hands of an English hangman or Riddle's sword? No, I suppose not…" But Sirius didn't sound entirely convinced by his own words.

"We did sign a contract." James reminded him, causing Sirius to snort.

"James, you're the same man you were before you signed the Duke's contract."

It was a valid point. "Minus marauding ships."

Sirius watched James from the corner of his eye. "Don't you miss it?" Sirius inquired finally.

James' gaze caught sight of Lily again, and he paused.

Sirius snorted again. "Well, of course not, you got your red-headed beauty." But he was careful to keep his voice down. Giving James a reason to want to pummel him wasn't high on Sirius' list of things to do…in fact it didn't even make the top thirty.

"But James, honestly, don't you miss the days when we could just stop any ship we wanted and take whatever food or gold we needed…instead of trying to find it in the stuffy ports…" Sirius pressed on, in spite of James' lack of answer.

"The money or the food, Sirius?" A new voice questioned and James turned slightly to see that the "nanny" had left its charge to join them on the landing. Remus Lupin was smiling as if in private joke, and he tilted his head slightly to get a better look at the two dark-haired men.

"Either and both." Sirius answered, grinning as Remus walked to his other side and leaned on the rail.

James was watching him. "You left Lily."

"No you did, to come up here and talk to Sirius." Remus replied, his eyes watching the waves that parted for the bow of the ship. "Lily doesn't need watching…not even on a pirate ship."

"Ex-pirate ship." Sirius reminded him gaily.

"I know she doesn't need protection." James was defensive, his ears tinged pink. "I taught her how to defend herself…I _know_ she doesn't need protection."

"And yet you insist on watching her every move."

James ducked his head slightly, staring at his crossed arms. "And what's wrong with that?"

Sirius hooted with laughter, which he abruptly turned into a cough when James sent him a look that could set fire to water. Remus was never one to be bullied though, and merely shook his head.

"It's remarkable." He commented. "You've only admitted that pirates can fall in love, and been in said state, for barely three months."

James looked over at Remus. "What's so remarkable about that?"

Remus shrugged a shoulder. "It's remarkable that you've thrown yourself into that blissful state of unwavering affection toward a certain red-head so readily after denying it for so long."

"Denying is love for Lily or about pirates falling in love?" Sirius questioned.

"Both."

James gave each of them a wilting look, then turned his back on them and left the landing, making his way across the deck. Remus chuckled when he saw James' intended destination and Sirius smirked openly.

James wove in between the men, coming to the mast where Lily was surrounded by three men, each watching her like a child to a mother. In Lily's fingers was a rope, which she was twisting around itself to create what James assumed to be a knot. He paused at the edge of the group, watching silently.

"Over and under, Miss Lily, not under and over." One of the men instructed, when Lily's fingers fumbled.

Lily redid the knot, holding it up. A small smile played on her pink lips when she noticed James standing before her. "Is that acceptable, Captain?" She asked, her green eyes bright.

The men moved back slightly as James stepped forward, picking up the rope and playing with it in his long fingers. "I suppose, but you might request a few more lessons." He responded, his eyes dancing as he tossed the rope to one of the men.

As the other men dispersed, Lily stood up. "It was perfect, wasn't it?" She raised a challenging eyebrow at him, crossing her arms in front of her.

James tilted his head, smirking slightly. "Is that what you're looking for, Miss Evans? Perfection? If so this would not be the most appropriate place to be looking for it." On an ex-pirate ship, he added silently and doubtfully.

Lily smiled at him and James' doubt vanished with the glow in her eyes and the flush on her cheeks. It wasn't rare that she gave him that smile, and the look on her face wasn't rare either, at least not in the past three months. Still, it made his heart leap in his chest every time. James tilted his head toward the railing and the two walked side by side toward the edge of the ship.

"What were you talking to Sirius about?" Lily questioned. Her voice held none of the demands that a pestering wife might have, nor the nagging or bristling edge another man might've felt threatened by. Instead, it was a generally curious question.

However, "Nosy." was still James' automatic response and Lily gave him a mock-offended look, though the curl of her lips gave her away.

"Nothing important." James replied, leaning on the railing and looking out on the ocean.

Lily didn't look as if she fully believed him, but James had to admit that for all his accusing her of being nosy, she was able to accept, albeit grudgingly, his response. Leaning with her back against the rail she tilted her chin so that the wind ran across her face and through her hair. She inhaled deeply as if breathing in the scents, then closed her eyes.

James watched her, taking in how the wind brushed back the locks of hair behind her ears, and how her now tan skin ran smooth across her cheeks, down her neck, and under her clothes. Her fine pink lips curled ever so slightly into a peaceful smile.

He debated internally for a moment whether to kiss her. On one hand it would've been well worth it, on the other he'd not be able to watch her if he did. The decision rolled around in James head, battling like two war vessels until Lily opened her eyes, breaking the opportune moment.

"The men were showing me how to tie the knots you use in the riggings." She said slowly, her eyes following the said riggings up until they met the empty crows nest.

"Oh really? Thinking of changing your position on the ship?" James asked, his voice teasing.

Lily shuddered, mostly for effect, and turned her face toward him, smiling. "Not likely. I prefer the galley, thank you very much. I think Remus has the right idea about the riggings, anyway."

James chuckled to himself. Remus wouldn't have climbed up into the riggings if there had been rabid bear loose on the ship and it was the only safe place on the entire ship.

Lily turned around and leaned with her elbows on the rail, her shoulder brushing James'. "Why is Remus so adamant about not climbing the riggings?" She asked finally.

James shrugged the shoulder that wasn't against Lily's, enjoying the feeling too much to disrupt it. "I don't know, I never asked. I suppose he's scared of heights, though I don't know why. He's just always been firm on never going up in the riggings, even before we stole the ship."

Lily looked over at him. "Before?"

James let out a breath. "We were on other ships before this one, Lily. It's where we learned everything we needed to know to sail our own vessel. The captain of our first ship put Remus in charge of the riggings. Remus never stepped foot up there our entire voyage."

Lily gaped at him. "Wouldn't they call that insubordination? They didn't make him…walk the plank?"

James looked at her. "We could technically call what you did for the first couple months or so insubordination, and I didn't make you walk the plank, did I?"

Lily rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips. "James, you don't have a plank."

He let out a long sigh. "I know." Lily laughed and leaned against him. The pair of hands that had rested on the rail had at some point become intertwined, and now the two of them stared out in silence at the dipping waves in the ocean.

"What did you do on the first ship?" Lily asked after a while.

James smiled with the secret. "Cook's Assistant."

Lily straightened and stared at him. "You…where…"

James grinned. "There was a method behind my meanness, I assure you."

Lily put her hands on her hips. "Which was?" She demanded.

James straightened to face her. "I've come to realize that the galley is the best place to be on a ship…you're taken under the wing of the cook immediately and they become a mentor, a protector…a father even." Lily's eyes softened slightly at the thought of Cook, who indeed had become like her second father on _the Marauder_.

James was watching her steadily, and as the thunder cloud left Lily's face he reached over and ran a tentative finger down the scar on her cheek. For most women it might've marred their features, for Lily it only made her seem wilder and more beautiful.

Lily's skin tingled where James' hand traced, and she felt her heart speed up in her chest. It was not a secret of how much he loved her; even if he didn't normally say it aloud, she could see it glowing from his eyes and that, more than any word from his lips, made the pleasantness creep all over her body.

A guilty look crossed James' eyes and he opened his mouth as if to speak but Lily shook her head abruptly. "Don't you dare." She told him.

Stunned he stared at her. "Lily…"

"Don't you dare say it's your fault. I could have hid on my father's ship and stayed safe and unscarred, but I didn't. I chose to come and fight instead."

James let his thumb rest at the corner of Lily's mouth, his fingers still on her cheek. "But if I hadn't kidnapped you - "

Lily laughed at him and James frowned. "Kidnapped me? I thought that I tied myself to the contract, James Potter."

The light in James' eyes slowly crept back and he smiled slowly. "But I put you in the situation." Lily opened her mouth, but then closed it a moment later, watching him.

"I suppose it's both of our faults." Lily said, in a half-resigned voice.

"Mhm." James said, leaning down slightly, her upturned face proving too much of a temptation.

"Ehm."

James froze and tilted his head, looking over and seeing Cook standing there, a look of complacent enjoyment on his face. "Cook." James almost growled the word.

But Cook ignored James, speaking instead to the woman next to him. "Unless we want a crew of smelly and hungry men tearing apart the galley, Miss Lily, I'm suggesting we get back down there and make something to keep 'em at bay."

Lily smiled and nodded. "All right." She gave a smiled to James and left his grasp to walk past Cook and head toward the door leading below deck.

James stayed where he was, staring at Cook. "You did that on purpose." He accused. Cook smiled slightly and James bristled. "And you're _enjoying_ it!" Cook laughed, then turned and followed Lily, still chuckling like an old man with a secret joke.

A grumble passed through James' lips and he leaned heavily back against the rail, crossing his arms and being the perfect picture of fuming. Maybe Remus was right. At least about the remarkablity of his head first jump into the ocean of love…though the most recent experience was leading him to believe it might've been closer to the size of a puddle.

--

Remus and Sirius watched their friend's interaction with the fire-tempered woman who had captured his heart, amusement glittering from their eyes and bursting from their chests in rumbles of laughter, specifically when Cook interrupted what the two friends perceived as the climactic moment of the event.

The second-mate ran his hand over the wood of the railing, parts of it newer than others from the patching and repair work that had gone into making _the Marauder_ worthy enough of being out on the sea.

"They're lucky." The voice from his right was Sirius, leaning on the wheel, watching the solitary James with now uninterested eyes.

"No they're not…if they were lucky they would've fallen in love with each other at first sight and saved us all the ruckus." The words would've sounded harsh from anyone but Remus, who delivered them with a fondness.

"That just proves that _we _have no luck." Sirius pointed out, smiling. Remus grinned despite his better judgment. Sirius watched the two for another moment. "I never thought that James would _actually_ fall in love…"

"Why's that?" Remus asked. Though he admitted it was remarkable that James had admitted to the feelings, the actual possibility of James falling in love had been there…very small and often covered by all the other pressing issues of the moment, but the potential had been there nonetheless.

Sirius gave him a wry look. "Well for one, that stupid star theory of his. And for another, I mean look at Lily." He nodded his head toward her. "She's beautiful, smart, definitely keeps him in line, and she's a born and bred lady."

Remus glanced over at him. "Lady?" He asked confused.

"Yeah…she's a lady. Not like any of those other girls we spent time around…innkeepers and wenches and such." He added bitterly. Remus felt a lump rise in his throat.

"I mean those people are only in it for one thing: to use you until they're done, then cut-and-run. They don't really love you or care about you, they may pretend to or think they do, but they don't." Sirius ranted, his eyes blazing with a hidden vendetta. Remus cast his eyes downward, his hands shifting on the rail.

"They whine and push and make you feel guilty…but all they are are sirens. Horridly beautiful women with no heart at all…none of them any better than a wasted wench." Sirius growled bitterly. Remus flinched visibly and his hands tightened. Sirius glanced over at him confused. Slowly realization dawned on his face, causing it to turn ashen.

"Oh…Remus I didn't mean…" He fumbled, his face weak and apologetic.

Remus shook his head abruptly, cutting Sirius' words off short. "Forget it, Sirius." His voice was stony.

"But…I didn't mean…_her_. She wasn't like them…she-"

Remus looked at him sharply. "Forget it, Sirius." There was finality to his words and he turned abruptly, leaving the landing. Sirius watched helplessly as Remus walked across the deck, disappearing down the stairs leading to the cabins below.

Letting out a long breath Sirius leaned on the wheel, his face guilty and regretful. "Three months, Sirius." He murmured to himself. "And you've already blown everything to pot."

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A/N: Please review - your reviews are such inspiration, and while that may sound corny, it's true. It also pushes me to work on the chapter when I see the revies in my inbox. The next chapter is about half done, but will need to be completed and tweeked a bit. Be patient with me ;). And again...REVIEW! Thanks


	3. Memory

A/N: Yay another chapter - possibly out sooner than the last one? I'm not sure. Graduation's the only thing left for this year - so here's my graduation present to you guys!!

Enjoy!!

**Disclaimer**: **If you recognize it from Harry Potter, its not mine - anything else is.**

Chapter 2: Memory

Remus was silent as he walked through the corridor below deck. His vision was fuzzy, but he kept his steady pace, following the hall until he reached the door to his own cabin, which he pushed open and then let slam behind him.

Normally Sirius' ranting wouldn't have bothered him. Remus knew most of it was just talk, which Sirius did often and frequently without thinking. It wasn't meant to be taken so true to heart, nor was it meant to induce any anger or hurt.

Yet, on this one occasion it had. Remus couldn't pinpoint the exact word that had set the angry fire in his stomach. But he knew where the bitter pain had come from…or perhaps _who_ it had come from.

Remus let out an heavy breath, laden with sleepless nights, and slumped down on his bed. He ran a palm over his face, feeling his heart beating rhythmically in his chest. If he inhaled he could almost smell the old rum from the pub long ago…he could almost feel the swish of cloth as it brushed by his arm…in fact if he closed his eyes he was sure he could picture that night, emblazoned forever in his memory….

_Sirius was gaping at the woman who walked by him as they stepped through the open door of the pub. The woman sent him a coy smile and a wink before bustling off to a group of men seated at a table. James glanced after her, then back at Sirius and laughed. "You gonna chase women tonight, Sirius?" He inquired._

_The shaggy black-haired boy of 16 shook his head, a goofy grin on his face. "Nah, I already gave my heart away, remember?" James snorted with laughter. "Besides," Sirius sent a sidelong look to another girl nearby. "They're going to be chasing _me_."_

_James glanced over his shoulder and pulled the mousy haired, lanky man, who had hidden himself behind their shoulders, forward. "Come on, Remus, get a look around." _

_Remus' uncomfortable feeling intensified as he glanced around at the women, who were much more rounded out than any orphan he'd ever seen, and the other men, who were much bigger than himself. "It's nice…ready to leave?"_

_Sirius shook his head, his eyes on yet another young girl. "Never…I'm sure I'm in love."_

_"That's the second time we've heard that today." James mumbled to Remus, who smiled tentatively in response._

_"Let's at least get out of the doorway." Remus pointed out, knowing he'd be fighting a losing battle if he tried to drag both James and Sirius from the pub. The other two men agreed and then wove their way between the tables to an empty one against the wall. They slumped down in seats and Sirius leaned over the table, excited._

_"Okay, mates, this is the high test of our pirateness." _

_James reclined in his chair, smirking at his friend. "I thought our 'high test' would actually be marauding a ship."_

_"Well if you want to get technical, this is our high test of our pirateness' influence."_

_Remus eyed him warily. "We don't even look like pirates, Sirius."_

_"Oh come on…" Sirius began, and while James nodded and pretended to be interested, Remus looked away, studying the people that filled the pub. All were older than him, and looked much more weathered with experience. His eyes swept toward the bar and fell on a group of three girls. The one facing him was young, only 15 at most, with golden locks falling across her shoulders. She moved her face and looked directly at him. Remus stared back into her eyes, that were so bright that they held him until she smiled a smile that caused her smooth pale face to break. A hotness crept around Remus' collar and he ducked his head away at the last moment, staring at the table-top, afraid to look anywhere but at the wood's spirals._

_"You're an idiot, Sirius." James was saying, but with a bright smile. _

_Sirius shrugged a shoulder, seeming to have given up trying to convince his friends, then glanced around. "Let's just hope that I don't have to spend the night in that Inn."_

_"I like the Inn." James said, tilting his chair again. "I thought you liked it too." He smirked widely, but Sirius was ignoring him, instead staring past Remus. _

_"Sweet heaven…" Sirius murmured. _

_James glanced over and blinked, letting his chair fall loudly back onto all of its legs. Remus almost turned, but froze when he felt a soft cloth brush his shoulder and a sweet scent burn his nose. He lifted his gaze slightly to see the blonde-haired girl coming to lean against the corner of the table opposite him. She fixed all three men with a small smile._

_"Wotcher, boys." She said. Her voice rang in Remus' ears as he watched her mutely. "You look new to this port."_

_James was the first to recover. "You're right." He admitted. _

_"Then let me be the first to welcome you."_

_Sirius sent her a smile, more real than the smirk he had sent the earlier wench. "We won't be here long, though. Our ship's set to sail soon."_

_The girl raised an eyebrow at them. "Pirate ship?" She inquired._

_Sirius grinned. "What other ship would it be?" He winked at her._

"_Well, then can I get you a drink to toast to your future voyage?" She asked, the corners of her lips twitched into a hovering smile. _

_James tilted his head. "We haven't got any money."_

_The girl eyed him for a moment, then looked at Remus, who felt his ears burning and had to fight the urge to duck away with shame. Such a young, beautiful girl, even a wench, shouldn't have been looking at a scrawny kid the way she was looking at him._

"_Wait here." She said, looking back at James, who had been studying Remus now too. She turned and walked away and Remus fought the urge to watch her leave. Instead he glanced at James._

"_What?" He asked, uneasily. _

"_Pretty girl." James was smiling, if only a little bit wickedly. _

"_Too pretty to be a wench." Sirius said. He had no shame and was watching the blonde-haired girl as she stood near the bar getting the drinks._

_Too perfect to be one, Remus wanted to say, but bit the inside of his cheek to stop the words before they spilled out._

_"What do you think, Remus?" The wicked smile hadn't faded from James' lips._

_Remus looked back at him, trying to maintain the aura of coolness James and Sirius had long mastered. "I think we shouldn't be in here. Half the men are bigger than us." He pointed out._

_James snorted. "Remus, you probably stand within a couple inches of the tallest man here."_

_"That's not what I meant when I said bigger." _

_Sirius glanced over at him. "And that's not what James meant when he asked what you think. I'm interested too, she was looking at you when she was talking, not either of us." If Sirius was surprised by this turn of events, he didn't show it._

_Remus glared at him. "Maybe she was wondering what you two had to say to get me here."_

_James laughed. "I don't remember saying much." Remus blushed red._

_"Here you go, boys." Four mugs were put down on the table, the girl slid into the seat next to Sirius propping her elbows up on the table, smiling at them. "On the house." Remus tilted his head and saw the bartender sending a withering look in their direction. Quickly, Remus averted his eyes, not daring to wonder how the girl gotten them free drinks._

_Sirius was returning the girl's grin. He took a sip of the auburn liquid and promptly began coughing. "What is that?" He barely managed to splutter._

_"Rum." The girl said, with a shocked smile._

_"It's fantastic." Sirius said, his eyes watering as he took another gulp._

_James took a sip, smaller than Sirius', and managed to not cough up the liquid. Instead he reclined back in his chair and studied the girl with a curious gaze. Remus stuck a finger into the rum and licked the liquid off the edge of his finger. He almost made a face as the coarse, burning liquid ran down his throat, but stopped when he found the girl watching him. He attempted a smile, but was afraid it only came out as a grimace._

_"Not you're cup-a tea?" She asked him, her smile warm._

_Remus' face felt warm and he swallowed hard. "N-not exactly." He managed to get out. She smiled again at him._

_"Me neither, but it's better than anythin' else they got around here." She replied. _

_James was still watching her. "So, how'd a girl as pretty as you get stuck here?" He finally asked, his eyes burning with interest, but perhaps not the same interest that Sirius had, or the same interest that was rolling around in the pit of Remus' stomach._

_She turned her bright eyes toward him, her lips curling. "How'd a group of boys as pretty as you get stuck being pirates?" _

_James paused for a moment, then smiled. Sirius laughed, and stuck his hand out to her. "Sirius Black." He offered._

_The girl returned the smile with a small turn of her lips that managed to look cuter than her earlier smile. "Ny- Dora, it's Dora Tonks." _

_"James Potter." James said from his leaning chair._

_'Dora' smiled and then looked over at Remus who felt the sudden need to vomit. "And what's your name?" She inquired, her smile made the nausea increase. His mouth felt like it was filled with molasses and after a few moments James came to his rescue._

_"Remus Lupin." He kicked Remus under the table and Remus jerked out of his revere._

_Dora stuck out her hand, smiling encouragingly. "Pleasure to meet you, Remus Lupin."_

_Remus reached over and caught her hand with his own, feeling her fingers wrap around his. He swallowed again. "P-pleasure to meet y-you, too." He fumbled. She grinned again._

_"Tonks!" A voice bellowed of the melee of the pub. The bartender's face was a flushed red and his voice gave away his temper. Dora made a face in his direction._

_"I'd better attend to the other creatures." She apologized, slipping her fingers from Remus' grip and standing up._

_As she tried to move around the corner of the table she fell forward. Perhaps her foot caught on the leg of the table; James would later say she simply fell over, and Sirius would swear it was on purpose, but whatever the reason, or the cause, one moment Dora was standing up, and the next she was falling toward the floor._

_But she never made it. For all his fumbling with words, Remus had quick reflexes, and as Dora fell he all but jumped from his chair, and caught her with a sturdy arm around her waist. _

_He felt her against his chest and looked down; for she only just came to his shoulder, then let her feet find their place on the floor. Now that she was closer he could see that her eyes were an unusually bright blue.. _

_"Thanks." She breathed at him, her eyes locked with his, as though his two friends weren't staring from their table, or a few of the other men and women in the room weren't eyeing them warily._

_Remus swallowed hard, then slowly let go of her waist and stepped back. She smiled at him, and he noticed the roots of her hair seemed to reflect red as a blush ran from her cheeks to her scalp. She bent and grabbed the mugs from James and Sirius, whose mug had been poised at his mouth, and dodged around Remus back toward the bar. _

_This time he turned with her and watched her path to the bar, seeing her set down the cups and look over her shoulder at him. When she met his eyes her face reddened even more and she turned to disappear up the steps at the end of the bar. He felt an arm around his shoulder, and glanced over at James, who was grinning at him. "What do you say we make ourselves scarce, eh mate?"_

_Sirius came up by his other shoulder, glancing around the inhabitants of the pub, many of whom were now watching them in return. "Yeah…something tells me it would be in our best interests." He sent Remus a glance. "Nice catch, by the way."_

_Remus allowed his feet to follow James and Sirius out of the pub and into the street. Once out in the fresh air, Remus let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding._

_"Interesting experience, if I do say so myself." Sirius whistled, swinging his arms to his own melodious tune._

_James chuckled, looking at Remus. "I'll say you're night improved."_

_Remus couldn't help the small smile that fought its way across his lips. "A pity we're only going to be here tonight." James went further to point out._

_Sirius swung around the post outside a store and flung himself into Remus, who stumbled into James. "Yeah, Dora's a might pretty girl, I'm sure you wouldn't mind getting to know her better." He winked in jest toward Remus, who didn't blush half as darkly as he had earlier that night._

_"She's a pretty girl." He amended._

_"And…?" James prodded, grinning to himself._

_"The Captain did say we port here often enough." Remus grinned at his friends and walked off ahead of them. _

_Sirius whooped and jumped, wrapping his arms around Remus' neck. "Now all we gotta do is get you to sp-speak p-properly t-to her." He laughed as Remus shrugged him off, with a faint rose burning his cheeks_ _…_

Shaking himself out of the daze, Remus noticed that the small window at the foot of his own bed had turned dim. He sat up and glanced out the glass and could see the sky beginning to darken. He felt a heavy sigh break through his lips.

Memories were unfair reminders of the moments you could never have again, Remus had long decided. They were teases and tricksters, for you could close your eyes and fall so easily back into them, but you were always dragged back by the tip of your ear.

Remus let out a long breath, and as he did so the door swung open. Remus stiffened slight, but it was James who stepped through the door frame, not Sirius. The surprise must have shown in his eyes, for James let out a smooth chuckle. "Expecting someone else?"

Remus shrugged a shoulder. "I wasn't expecting you." He answered instead.

James leaned against the door-frame, crossing his arms across his chest and fixing his friend with a steady look. "I suppose I could ask you what he said, but it would be a moot point."

Remus shook his head ruefully, casting his eyes down to look at the palms of his hands that rested on his lap. "Your confidence in my divulging mood is overwhelming." Remus replied half-bitterly, not surprised that James had known something was amiss; James knew everything that happened on the ship.

"But accurate."

Remus didn't have a response, and instead kept his eyes trained on his hands. There was a scar that ran up his wrist and he frowned slightly, trying to remember where it had come from.

"However, I will tell you that Sirius is currently pacing quite agitatedly in the galley, trying to string together any sort of words that would serve as an apology." James went on, still watching Remus.

"He's pacing?" Remus questioned. Sirius never paced unless he was truly nervous about something, and then he acted like a caged animal.

"I am certain that he's going to wear a hole in the floor." James said, his eyes never leaving Remus' face.

Remus bit the inside of his mouth. He knew that Sirius, as much as he had bought into his pirate persona, was not cruel. He was one who rarely thought before he spoke, but a truer heart could never have been found, of that Remus was sure. And any fumbled apology that Sirius was sure to plead, would be heartfelt and Remus was sure the forgiveness would slip easily from his own lips.

Still, the flickering irritation and pain from Sirius' words stung in the back of Remus mind. Yet another memory that refused to be forgotten.

"He's miserable." Remus mused aloud, knowing it was true, before James gave him a wane smile.

"As miserable as you looked just as I came in."

Remus sent him a side-long look and then surrendered.

--

Sirius wasn't in the galley when they arrived; instead he was pacing in the corridor, just outside the door. He was mumbling to himself and it wasn't until James purposefully stepped on a creaking board that he froze and noticed them standing in the hall. His face paled considerably and he bit his lip nervously.

James glanced in between Sirius and Remus. "I'm going up on deck." He said. And then he was gone.

Sirius' throat was dry and he swallowed, smiling weakly at Remus. "It's funny…I knew what I was going to say…but then you're there and…." He shrugged a helpless shoulder.

Remus wasn't going to help him, and instead stood as quiet as before.

Sirius took a breath and tried again. "I was just…talking…Remus you of all people should know that half of what I say doesn't mean a hill of beans…and with girls, well most of them don't mean a hill of beans either…"

Remus raised a eyebrow and Sirius floundered for a moment.

"To me! I mean meaning anything to me. To you…well you're different…I…I'm sorry." He let out a long breath and shook his head, his gaze dropping to his feet. "I wasn't talking about her, I would _never_ talk about her like that, Remus you have to know that."

And the second-mate did know it. Remus took a slow breath and Sirius paused, his face nervous, as though he wanted to say more but couldn't think of the words.

"You talk too much, Sirius."

Sirius frowned. "You think too much…and I think it's rubbing off on me…do you know how long it took me to come up with what I just said?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I hope not long…frankly it was pathetic."

"What!? I should take offense to that!" Remus gave him a sidelong look. "But I won't." Sirius paused and then gave a tentative smile in response to the recent exchange. "So…all's forgiven then?" He asked tentatively.

Remus looked at him, the face was too pleading to turn away. Remus' lips curled in a half smile and he nodded.

Sirius' smile became full and he nearly jumped on Remus in enthusiasm, choosing instead to put an arm around his shoulders. "What do you say to Potatoes- a -la - Lily?"

Remus pushed back the lingering uneasy thoughts and nodded, allowing Sirius to pull him into the galley.

--

James leaned lazily on the wheel, having relieved the man who had previously been on watch. He let out a long breath and tilted his head to watch the stars, wondering whether or not he should drop in on Remus and Sirius. After a moment he decided against it. Remus and Sirius were capable of working out their own misunderstandings.

He shifted slightly on his feet and let his chin rest on his arm. Almost on their own accord his eyes fell slightly as sleep prickled in the back of his mind.

"Falling asleep at your post, Captain Potter." A warm, feminine voice rang out, causing James to straighten and turn his head.

At the top of the stairs, Lily was leaning against the rail and smiling at him.

"No." He rejected the idea with a faint smile threatening his lips. "Just resting my eyes, for a moment."

Lily shook her head at him. "I would think you got plenty of sleep nowadays, James, that you wouldn't need to sleep at the wheel."

James shrugged a shoulder, accepting the statement as true. "Perhaps it was because there was a distinct lack of interesting conversation. Now that you're here however…"

Lily chuckled slightly and James took one arm off the wheel and held out a hand to her. There was no hesitation when she took it, as there had been once before. His grip tightened around her fingers and he pulled her over to the wheel, setting her palms on the spokes, guiding them with his own hands. He stayed behind her, keeping his hands over hers and positioning the side of his head near hers, still not daring enough to fully pull her against him.

Lily could feel his heart pounding through his shirt into her back and it sent a warmth through her arms that were covered by James'. His breath was soft against her cheek, barely pulling at the strands of red hair that fell about her ears.

"What are you doing up here?" The question broke the silence.

"I wanted some fresh air. The galley gets very crowded and -"

"Smelly." James finished. "I know." Lily laughed and settled back against James' shoulders, an action that caused James' blood to rush.

Silence fell across them again and James was content to let his gaze wander to the stars above his head and then to the sails that flapped softly in the breeze.

"I saw Remus and Sirius when I was leaving the galley." Lily spoke again. It wasn't an uncommon thing, to see the first and second mate together, but something in Lily told her that it was different. The way Sirius' eyes shifted toward Remus after every phrase, as if making sure of the latter's consent, and then Remus' toying with his food, half of his mind on what Sirius was saying and the other half on something else entirely.

James straightened behind her so that he could look over the top of her head towards the door to the bottom deck, as if he was expecting the two mentioned men appear.

"How were they?"

Lily related what she'd taken from their interaction. She didn't see, but instead felt, James' frown in the sudden tightness of his shoulders.

"Was something wrong?" She asked. James would probably call her nosy, but Sirius and Remus were her friends as well. Besides, she felt it was better defined as being concerned, not nosy.

James' accusation didn't come though. "A…misunderstanding. Sirius said something and Remus reacted." Sirius hadn't expounded on what he'd said, as though he was embarrassed by it, as well as angry at himself. And Remus had certainly not been inclined to give any details of illumination. "I guess they've worked it out." In one extent, James added silently. That Lily had noticed the uneasiness made James curious to know exactly _what _had been said. Even at the risk of being 'nosy'.

"Will they be…_okay_?" Lily asked. She had never seen Remus and Sirius fight, nor James fight with either of the two.

"They've known each other for twenty years." James assured, smiling down at her. "They'll be fine."

Lily nodded against his shoulder and James hoped that his words were true. It was an impossible thought, to think of Sirius and Remus not being friends, not to mention unbearable. If such an event did occur James felt he would have to either consider forcing the two to make up, a challenge he did not welcome, or retiring from the ship to live in a secluded hut away from both of them. If what Lily observed had been true, it was an indication that Remus had at least partially, if not fully, forgiven Sirius and the two were simply taking their time making amends.

Or it could've meant that despite Remus' forgiveness, in the back of his mind the second-mate was still reacting from whatever Sirius' earlier words had been. The crease in James' forehead deepened and he searched his mind for any indication as to what could have angered Remus. Nothing came though, and in frustration James let out a rough sigh that caused Lily to twist to look at him.

"Are you all right?" She asked, her voice wavered in concern and James shoved aside thoughts of Remus. They could wait.

The frown faded and James smiled slowly at Lily. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? I'm a free man, free from the English, Riddle, and any cursed key."

Lily shook her head at him. "For over three months now."

James shrugged a shoulder, still watching her face. "Doesn't mean it's any less of an accomplishment."

Lily grinned and leaned her head against the curve of James' shoulder. In response James tilted his face and leaned his head close until his nose brushed against hers, and his forehead leaned against her own brow. His eyes had softened to the blue of a calm spring sea and when he paused Lily made up the distance, capturing his lips with hers.

James' stomach fluttered and jumped into his chest, where his rapidly beating heart was dancing. James reveled in the feeling of Lily's lips against his and decided, as he wrapped an arm around Lily's waist, that he would forgive Cook's delay of his earlier kiss attempt.

For what could be better than to be with the one you love with only the stars for an audience?

* * *

I won't be able to update for a little while since I will be in Europe for the next couple weeks (yay!!) but I will try to get another chapter up around the end of June or early July. In the meantime...please review!!


	4. Charred Remains

A/N: Hey, so I'm back from Europe with the longest chapter so far in the story (to make up for the long wait ;)). Good news and bad news, the good being that this story finally clicked together when I was writing it - as in the plot holes I'd been trying to figure out finally filled themselves (the bad news is that right after I had the epiphany - my computer deleted half of this chapter so I had to rewrite-bleh). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - it took forever to write :)

**Warning:** There may be some graphic scenes/descriptions in parts of this chapter - nothing close to X rated, but just to forewarn you (fyi - graphic meaning gorey - not sexy :))

**Disclaimer**: I own the plot, Cook, John, Mitz, and basically anything/anyone that doesn't tie into Harry Potter

* * *

Chapter 3: Charred Remains

James felt a bead of sweat threatening to drip into his eye and he flicked his head to rid himself of the irritant that seemed intent on impending his sword battle with Lily. Lily's breath was coming as quick as James' and her arms that had once protested such work now reveled in the feeling of her sword connecting with James'.

Words were pointless between the two. When their swords were out, Lily and James communicated only through the swish of the blade and the clash of metal. For hours they would practice, occasionally in front of Sirius and Remus, who would either insult James or throw Lily pointers; but they preferred to train alone.

They were alone now, except for the clutter that lined James' cabin, and the sound of the feet on the deck above them. But that was lost in the fury of the blades and the hum of their muscles.

James twisted his arm out of Lily's hold and parried her blade, cutting toward her leg to find her on his opposite side, and having once again to parry. A smirk threatened his lips. He hadn't yet lost to Lily in a fight, but each time she came increasingly closer to besting him.

James side stepped away from her swipe, and then in a swift turn brought himself too close for her to finish the action. Lily stumbled back a step to regain her stance and James sent her off balance body backwards until he sidestepped again, just enough to throw off her angle. When Lily tried to compensate James cut toward her sword with a swift motion and the next moment his sword was poised at Lily's neck. It didn't matter that her own sword was loosely gripped in her hand, hanging at her side; she had lost.

And not for the first time was James grateful that he hadn't taught Lily _every_ trick he knew.

James dropped the sword and smiled at her. "You were doing wonderfully." He consoled her and Lily sent him a withering look.

"Until the end."

James shrugged a shoulder and grinned. "Well that is an important part."

"You're absolutely infuriating." Lily frowned at him.

James grinned wider and flipped his sword in his hand, catching it and sliding it into his belt, his eyes glittering with only a little smugness. "I am also charming and an excellent swordsman."

Lily rolled her eyes, holding back the smile that fought to break through her mask. "And modest to boot." As James pretended to look offended Lily stepped around him, placing her sword on his desk and reaching into the cabinet to pull forward a small bottle.

"Rum?" She asked, inquiring as to the bottle's contents.

James shook his head. "Sirius pillaged my store…it's the one thing left he can steal."

Lily smiled uneasily at James' alluding to her father's contract. They never spoke of it, or that day aside from the battle with Riddle and Lily's 'crazed stunt' as James referred to her leap from her father's ship. But the notion of it was always there. James knew that the only reason he was still alive was because of Lily, and whatever she had said to convince her father that he was worthy of a chance, something he was curious to know. Still, Lily had occasionally found James staring at a distant ship with an unlawful gleam in his eye. Old habits died hard, he had said when she'd tried to confront him about it, and the subject had fallen by the wayside.

Lily pulled the cork from the bottle and inhaled, just to be sure, before taking a long sip of the water. James leaned on edge of the desk, rubbing his left shoulder which had been knocked by the handle of Lily's sword once too often during the fight.

"Sore?" Lily questioned, noticing his action. James dropped his arm and looked over at her.

"A bit…you?"

Lily smiled at him and nodded. She came around the table and leaned against the desk beside him, passing James the uncorked bottle. As he took a sip she cast her eyes around the cabin.

"Are you sure you won't clean up in here?" Lily asked, making a face at the piles which had only increased in size.

"Yes. If I cleaned, I wouldn't be able to find anything." James countered, refusing her suggestion for the hundredth time. "Do you know how long it took me to find my maps after your father went snooping through here?"

Lily made a face at the slight against her father, but knew that James held little malice behind his comments. "He was looking for his treasure."

James snorted. "Did he think I'd leave it in the middle of the floor for him to find?"

"James…" Lily warned and James fell silent, sending her a quick glance.

"Want another go?" James asked, changing the subject as he nodded his head toward the open space were they'd been practicing.

Lily looked up at him. "You don't want another go." She interpreted, smiling to herself.

James shrugged a shoulder, eyes watching her. "I'll admit, the student has surpassed the teacher in endurance."

Lily's lip curled and she tilted her head to get a better look at him. "But I haven't beaten you yet."

James grinned back. "Thankfully, or my reputation would be tarnished. I'm sure you've already gone behind my back and suggested mutiny - planning to put yourself in the captain's cabin."

Lily tried to look appalled at his suggestion but that fell away into laughter. James smiled and was about to comment when the door opened. James whipped his head around and saw Sirius.

Where usually the smart comment would have come from his lips, Sirius stood in front of James with a nervous air, causing James to straighten. "What is it, Sirius?"

Sirius inclined his head to the deck outside. "I think you should see for yourself." James quickly made his way across the cabin, feeling Sirius and Lily following at his heels.

He paused once he was out in the sun and was immediately attacked by the smell of smoke. Confusion in his eyes, James turned, making his way to the starboard rail where he stopped, his eyes widening at what he saw.

A large ship was looming several ship lengths away, plumes of smoke billowing from its body. James' jaw clenched and he found his hands tightening into white-knuckled fists.

Lily came to James' side and stared at the ship. It looked like any ordinary ship, excepting of course the smoke. Frowning, she glanced at James and found a tight, angry look crossing his eyes.

"James…"

"Sirius bring the ship around and try to get us as close as you can." James' voice was thick and his eyes never once left the scene before him. Sirius nodded sharply and turned, barking orders to the crew who were staring at the ship with similar shocked looks. Lily looked at them, and could tell in their eyes that they knew what the ship was, and for some reason it frightened them.

She turned back to James but he still wasn't looking at her. "Lily, go below and stay in the galley with Cook." The order was abrupt and Lily's mouth slackened slightly at the force behind James' words. Wanting to argue, to demand some explanation of what exactly the ship meant, but unable to string together any argument, she nodded mutely and left him.

--

The entirety of the crew, save Cook and Lily, were lined along the side of the ship as _the Marauder_ pulled alongside the burning ship. The smoke had cleared somewhat, but still rested around the upper mast like an impending thundercloud.

James' jaw was set and he had to fight to keep his hands from shaking as he saw his men throw out lines to lash them to the other ship. His senses made themselves known as his eyes adjusted to the smoky environment and the taste of burnt wood lingered on his tongue. James ran a hand over his mouth, then rested his palm on the hilt of his sword. They'd circled the ship once before pausing at one side, just to be sure the murder ship hadn't stuck around to get any more victims. Still the hairs on his neck were on end and his body felt like a strung bow, ready to break at any moment.

"Ready to board, Captain." Sirius said, coming to James' side. Remus was with him, his mouth in a tight line.

Boarding planks slapped the other ship's deck and James stepped up, ignoring the height and the slightly swaying of the board and made his way across. He dropped heavily to the deck and glanced around, hearing Sirius and Remus follow him. The smoke was too thick, even on the deck to see, but James strained his eyes and finally the wind turned in their favor, pulling the smoke from the deck like a curtain revealing a theater's stage.

A collective sharp breath was the only sound. James swallowed hard and glanced around his stomach twisting as it threatened to heave at the sight.

Bodies were everywhere, lying in contorted positions along the deck. Some draped over one another, others alone. Some had blood on their fingers, a sign of their fight, and others were curled in fetal positions. Blood stained the deck and James could pick out the numerous swords, daggers and bullet holes that went further to reveal that though the people appeared to be asleep, that was not the case.

Marks from musket and cannon fire had scarred the mast and deck, splinters of railings and barrels made the deck uneven. And then there were the fires set along the deck, some creating gouging holes in the floor and others simply eating away at the debris. James kicked a piece of smoking wood away from a body, then he knelt down and touched the limp shoulder. The heavy body fell back, the head lolling to one side, revealing the face of a young woman, her face bruised and bleeding, her throat cut.

The bile in James' throat threatened to come forth again, but James held it back and stood, glancing at his men who now lined one side of the burning ship, staring in shocked silence at the carnage that lay before them. Sirius was next to James and his face was pulled in a grimace.

"Who would…" Sirius faded off, not finishing the question. Who would? James thought to himself. Pirates. James almost shook his head ruefully at the thought. Killing Riddle and being set free of his own pirate fate had hazed his perception, had made him forget, for three months at least, that there were pirates who were still alive and tormenting the seas.

"Search for any survivors." James ordered sharply.

The men turned their head as one, staring at him with blank eyes, each with the same question: who could survive this? But despite the lack of faith in finding what their captain wanted, they followed the order, dispersing in pairs and weaving their way around the bodies, pausing at some, only to move on. James saw Remus walk toward the captain's cabin, and Mitz made his way up to the landing. James watched as John, who'd tried to inspect the other side of the ship, suddenly leaned over the rail and wretched.

James meandered slowly around the bodies, Sirius at his shoulder, careful to not step on anything that lay in his path, be it body or debris. Sirius was at a loss for words, his face paling by the minute as his eyes took in the scene.

The two dark-haired men made it across the deck and descended into the corridor of the lower deck. Silence echoed off the walls and Sirius broke away from James to shoulder open a partially ajar door and inspect what was inside.

James continued down the hall alone. The dark walls loomed over him and the shadows stretched out in front of him, leading him deeper into the ship. He stopped at a closed doorway, almost tripping over a body that lay sprawled in front of the door. James stepped away and peered down at the man. Blood drenched the front of his shirt and stained the wood behind him; his sword was held in a death grip. James swallowed slowly and glanced at the closed door the dead man appeared to be guarding. Reaching forward, he turned the handle, shoving the door open, and then carefully stepped around the body.

Darkness swarmed him as he entered the dimly lit room and James waited as his eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of light. When they did and he saw the contents of the room, James felt his body turn to ice.

"James." Sirius had followed him into the room; James turned and glanced at him, seeing Sirius wiping something off the corner of his mouth. It appeared that John hadn't been the only one to lose control of his stomach.

"There's no one here." Sirius went on, glancing over his shoulder at the door frame that just barely hid the most recently discovered corpse. "No one alive."

James didn't respond, only bit his lip so hard that it almost drew blood.

Sirius shook his head, staring down at the ground in thought. "There was a girl…"

"I saw her." James broke in finally, turning his gaze away as Sirius looked up, dark eyes pained.

"There were children too." Sirius went on, his voice wavering. "Children…James they were…" Sirius stopped and swallowed, but James didn't think he was swallowing away tears, if anything it was more of his stomach's contents threatening to be revealed.

"We never did anything like this." Sirius said suddenly, breaking the silence with a hoarse voice. "I mean we never….not like this…" He sounded helpless and as if he was trying to reassure himself, by filtering through the memories of more than six years, that he had never committed such a crime as the one he now stood observing.

James reached down in sudden anger, snatching up a golden goblet from where it sat among the treasures and goods the merchants had been preparing to sell at the next port. He held it for Sirius to see. When the first-mate's eyes focused, they widened in shock. "Never stole from merchants who couldn't defend against us?" James demanded. "Or never destroyed them just for the sake of destroying them?" He flung the golden cup across the room and the clang it made as it hit the opposite wall echoed in the small room.

Sirius watched mutely as the goblet rolled back toward them waves shifted the boat underneath their feet. He held in a hard breath, suddenly regretting how much he'd treasured the title of pirate for so long.

--

Remus didn't have to open the door to the captain's cabin, it was half hanging off its hinges. Carefully stepping over the splintered wood, Remus paused, looking around the cabin.

It was cleaner than James' by far. The shelves were made of dark, polished wood and each book, map, or model seemed to have its place, and could have been easily sighted from across the room. The few papers and debris that littered the floor were obviously out of place, and appeared to have been caused by the battle that had taken place inside the cabin, if the three bodies were any evidence.

In front of the desk, that sat in the same place James' did, lay two men, pirates by their attire. They were both dead, one still holding a bloody knife in one hand, the other slumped unarmed with a bullet hole in his chest. Remus shifted his eyes, his gaze landing on the captain.

He was slumped against the side of the desk, and Remus stepped around the other bodies to face the captain. He sucked in a breath and a look of revulsion crinkled his eyes and twisted his mouth. The captain was a gruesome sight; his shirt was burned by powder remains from the three bullet holes in his chest. His face and hands were maimed and bloody, his mouth agape in agony. The sword that might've saved him lay two feet away from his outstretched hand. Remus winced again, turning his face away from the sight.

At least the poor bastard had taken a couple with him.

Remus stepped away from the captain, tilting his head to inspect the other two men. Definitely pirates, if their clothes weren't enough to tell, the state of them, minus the death wounds, were. They were dirty, white lines showed past scars. They were tanned and Remus could see outlines of where gaudy jewelry might've been. He guessed that their 'comrades' had stripped them clean after finishing off the captain.

They were the only two men that appeared to be pirates on the whole ship, everyone else was a merchant of some fashion, victims in the crime. But here were two of the murderers. Remus knelt down next to the one who had been killed by the bullet, and began feeling around inside his jacket, not expecting anything. The body's dead weight rolled against his leg as the boat shifted, and Remus nudged him away. The man's arm hit the floor and Remus squinted his eyes at the tattoo inked on the inside wrist. It was an eye, outline and pupil with a slight curve at the right point, that seemed to stare back at Remus.

Slightly unnerved, Remus turned his attention back to the man's jacket. Finding nothing, he went to the other man, having to roll him over on his back to get into his pockets. As he did something slipped from between the dead man's vest and shirt to the floor. Remus unceremoniously shoved the body aside and picked up the dropped treasure.

It was a necklace on a rawhide string, an ivory circle that was a white, tinted gray color. Carved into its face were the arrows on of a compass, the longest arrow pointing down to the only letter carved on the necklace's face: an S.

As he took in the carved detail, Remus' mouth grew dry. His hand that held the necklace tightened into a fist around the necklace's charm so that despite the circle's smooth edges, it almost drew blood from his palm. And still Remus' eyes were fastened to the ingraving, its familiarity making his blood race to his pounding heart.

"Remus."

Remus jumped, nearly dropping the necklace, and then whirled around to see Mitz stepping over the hanging door. "James says it's time…no one's here…" Mitz faded off, taking in the sight of the dead captain and the two pirates. "Who're they?"

"No idea." Remus said, stuffing the necklace in the pocket of his jacket. He straightened, brushing off his breeches more out of habit than need. "I'm coming."

Mitz nodded, glanced once more at the pirates and then left. Remus glanced once down at the second pirate, only to notice briefly the same tattoo on his wrist, before turning and following Mitz's retreat, his curious hand finding their way into his pocket and around the necklace's face, tracing it with shaking fingers .

--

Lily paced uneasily in the galley, biting her lip in thought. Her curiosity was battling to get the better of her. It took all her mental stamina to not go running up on the deck and demand that James explain what was going on.

Obviously it was something bad, she could tell that just from the horror written on every man's faces. She could see it in the way Cook's face paled when she explained why she was back in the galley. The burning ship meant something terrible, she knew, but there was no one around to tell her exactly what it meant. Cook had disappeared back into the kitchen and of course the rest of the crew was on deck.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Lily turned sharply toward the door, throwing James' order to the wind and deciding that she wasn't going to settle for being in the dark a moment longer. She was at the door, hand on the handle, when Cook's voice stopped her.

"I wouldn't do that, Miss Lily."

She paused, glancing over her shoulder at him. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes serious. "Why not?" She asked slowly. It wasn't as if she'd never disobeyed James' orders before. Besides, it _usually_ worked out well enough, and as a member of the crew, Lily felt she was entitled to know what was going on.

As if Cook knew what she was thinking, he shook his head. "James ordered you to stay here, Lily. I think that unlike last time, you should listen to him."

The last time, if she remembered correctly, had been during a storm, the time before that when James had been marauding a ship. Both times Lily had disobeyed only to earn James' wrath the first time and a mouthful of sea-water the second.

"James has a good reason, Lily." Cook went on.

Lily shook her head stubbornly, but dropped her hand from the door. "What good reason is there to lock me up down in the galleys? Or to not tell me what's going on, when clearly everyone else knows?" Maybe James was right, Lily thought for a moment, perhaps I am a bit too curious for my own good. She shoved the thought aside and fixed a look on Cook. "I want to know what's going on…why is everyone so scared of a burning ship?"

Cook let out a breath. If it kept Lily from tramping up on deck and interrupting whatever James was doing with the ship, the shock of what she would see with her own eyes very likely trumping any details Cook could weave, then it was worth the moment to explain it - even if it made the old cook's stomach churn just with the thought.

"It's no the ship that everyone's scared of…it's what a burning ship means." He gestured to her and Lily followed him to sit on one of the benches.

"What does it mean?" Lily asked. She'd never heard of a someone leaving a ship burning in the middle of the ocean.

Cook fixed her with a look. "It means that a pirate ship has a attacked…" Lily frowned at this, James had never left any ship burning, at least not that she'd seen.

"Pirate ships come in all varieties of evil. Some chase English ships just to spite the English, others plunder any ship just for the sake of gold, supplies, even women. But the worst pirates are the ones who leave burning ships." Cook continued. "They don't just take a ship, they destroy it and everyone on board."

Lily froze, her eyes fixed on Cook's face as she registered what he had said. They destroyed _everyone_ on board.

"On a burning ship you only find one thing Lily…death." Cook finished, his voice regretful.

Lily swallowed, the image of the burning ship now fresh in her mind. On that ship were bodies of men, possibly women and children, all dead, destroyed by pirates. Trying to picture that, Lily found she couldn't, or didn't want to. That was the reason James hadn't wanted her on deck, he hadn't wanted her to see what was on that ship. It was the same reason why Cook had stopped her from going and investigating herself.

Lily dropped her eyes to her hands that rested in her lap; they were shaking. "How do you know…"

"Most pirate have seen it happen…from a distance or from the deck of the very ship that's doing it." Cook went on slowly. "Even if they've only seen the aftermath, it sticks in one's mind forever."

Swallowing the lump that had come into her throat, Lily tightened her hands into fists. She'd thought that Riddle was bad. Even if James had never been specific in his tellings of Riddle's actions, she'd heard enough from the other members of the crew and Cook to know how terrible a man Riddle had been. But she'd never considered the idea, that even with Riddle gone there were men just as bad as he, maybe even worse, who would still hurt innocent people.

"For some it causes guilt to rip their soul apart as they wonder what they could've done to stop it - but that's only the good men." Cook revealed. "Most just put it back in their mind hoping they never have to encounter it again. The bad men…they'd do it again in a heartbeat."

--

James watched as the flames slowly engulfed the ship, even as _the Marauder_ began to slowly pull away. It was a proper burial this time, the flames weren't there to produce smoke and draw attention, but to take enough of the boat so the rest could sink calmly into the sea. James rested his palms on the rail and stared mutely out at the sea as _the Marauder_ began gathering speed.

Sirius came up beside him, following James' gaze and then shivered. "I don't want to see another of those anytime soon." Though he said it casually, James could hear the undercurrent of unease in his friend's voice.

He could hardly blame him.

Sirius glanced over at James, noticing the shadow that hovered over his friend's eyes. "James? You okay?" James didn't attempt to respond and Sirius frowned, glancing back over at the burning ship. There had been a flicker of something else in James' eyes - something that Sirius had noticed before.

"That is not your fault." He spoke suddenly, keeping his gaze forward. The reassurance seemed oddly placed, but Sirius continued. "You didn't do that, you weren't even here so you couldn't have stopped it. What you did was more than the royal armada would've." James still didn't reply and Sirius looked at him, giving James' shoulder a rough shove. "Listen to me, James. This is not your fault."

James bowed his head, looking at the wood between his hands. The wind blew hard against his face and he could smell the smoke, burning his nose, mouth, and eyes - a smoky memory drifting back before his eyes…

_James sat on the steps to the landing, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Maybe if he didn't look, didn't see it, it wouldn't be there, it would mean it hadn't happened. But even he couldn't close his nose to the burning smoke, or close his ears to the jeers and congratulations the rest of the pirate crew was handing to each other. That was perhaps worse than actually seeing the deed that they'd done…_

"_Potter." The growl came from just above his head and James raised his head to see the Captain, his gnarled face twisted in a glare, his good eye staring intensely down at his protégé. _

"_Captain." James replied, knowing he should stand, but unable to convince his watery legs to do so._

"_Feeling sorry for yourself." It wasn't a question. The pirate captain rarely asked questions._

_James didn't reply, instead glanced over his shoulder toward the smoke that was pouring from the ship they had just pillaged. Destroyed would've been a better term, James thought to himself bitterly._

"_Potter…" The captain started again._

_James cut him off this time, anticipating what he was about to say. "I know…it wasn't my fault I shouldn't be feeling so sorry." He muttered._

_The Captain raised an eyebrow. "Wrong." He barked and James jumped, his eyes darting back to look at his captain. "It is totally and completely your fault."_

"_What?!" James squeaked. That was _not_ what he had expected to hear. It wasn't helping his guilty conscious either. "What do you mean it's my fault?" He finally rose to his feet. "I didn't do anything…I didn't hurt anyone or take anything…I didn't even set the ship on fire. That boy -" James stopped remembering the young boy, not barely over fourteen who had come in his way. He'd been ordered to kill anyone who did, but he'd been stopped cold and couldn't do it. Jack, a meaner pirate, had done the deed instead. _

"_You're right, boy, you did nothing." James wrinkled his nose in irritation at being called a boy, but the rebuff hurt more than the slight against his age. "You didn't want to do any of that…you felt bad for taking the ship of innocent merchants, that right? You didn't want to take anything or kill anyone…you refused to do the deed yourself when it came to that boy. You would've been doing him a favor killing him yourself, instead of leaving him for Jack." James flinched. Jack was cutthroat, a man who gave pirates the reputation that spawned the stories. He'd ripped the boy to shreds. "If you didn't want it so damn much, then you should've done something to stop it." The Captain went on, his voice sharp._

_James looked away. "What was I supposed to have done…rise up against the whole crew?" He demanded._

"_If it mattered that much, then yes." The Captain responded and James looked at him. "Just because you didn't do the deed, Potter, doesn't make your hands any more clean or you conscious any less involved. Because you didn't _stop _it, you're as guilty at the man who actually set the fire."_

_James held the Captain's eyes for as long as he could before turning his head away, when he glanced back the Captain had left and James sank back onto the steps, his face red with shame and his blood pounding in his ears, the guilt rolling over his body like a wave and his fists clenching in helpless anger…_

James took a breath and looked up, seeing the blue sea stretching out along the side of _the Marauder_. He felt Sirius still watching him and nodded slowly. "I know." He said to his comrade's statement. "I know." He turned and walked away, leaving Sirius looking after him.

When he reached the inside of his cabin, James made his way to the cabinet behind his desk. It was empty, he found as he opened the door, of everything but a bottle of water. Growling under his breath he turned and in anger swept half the clutter off of his desk, the growl in his throat becoming stronger when it was only papers and maps that went flying. He wrenched open drawers of his desk, ruffling through his papers and cursing when he found nothing. James stalked over to his bed, tossed around the covers and then reached a hand underneath the bed, a smirk coming over his features when his hand clenched around a bottle. Pulling it out he saw the amber liquid and a bitter satisfaction covered him.

He removed the cork and tossed it away, while flinging himself into the chair behind his desk. He let out a long breath, then raised the bottle to his lips, grimacing even as the burning rum ran down his throat…

--

Lily walked across the top deck, balancing the tray in her hands. The sun had begun to set on the horizon and supper had already been served in the galley. The whole crew had been there, some drinking and laughing to forget what had been seen earlier that day, others seated silently as if mulling over what they'd encountered. She heard snippets of conversations about what they'd seen, but none of the men really wanted to relive the moment by talking about it. So they ate, drank, and sat.

All except for James.

The captain was absent from the meal. Remus and Sirius sat off to the side, Remus looking as if he was thinking hard about something, and Sirius picking at the food as if the moment he ate it, he'd be sick. Neither knew why James wasn't there, though Sirius told her that he'd seen James disappear in to his cabin shortly after they left the other ship. Remus couldn't contest to that, he'd disappeared into his own cabin after returning to the ship.

Lily took Sirius word. And since, though the ship was big it wasn't big enough for James to not have been seen by anyone else if he had been wandering the corridors or deck, she was almost certain that James hadn't left his cabin since Sirius had seen him enter. So, she now walked across the deck with the food from supper, hoping to find out what was wrong that James felt the need to barricade himself in his cabin and miss supper. At the very least she was hoping he'd eat what she brought him.

No more was she on the warpath, however. She wasn't looking for answers about the ship, she'd gotten all she wanted and more from Cook. In fact, though she hadn't even seen what was really on the ship, she felt as subdued as much of the rest of the crew from the experiences of the day.

It was a trick to knock on the door without dropping the tray, but she managed it. James didn't answer the knock, however, in fact she didn't hear anything beyond the door.

Lily had proved time and again she wasn't one to be dissuaded, so she knocked one more time, then turned the handle with her elbow and shoved open the door.

The room was lit only from the faint rays of sun that trickled in from the window, long shadows spreading along the messy floor that looked even more littered than it had earlier that day. And sitting behind the desk was James.

His hair was rumpled, as was his shirt, which was half open and revealing the bandage that still wrapped his shoulder. His desk was clear of almost everything but a big map and in one hand he held an almost empty bottle of a dark colored liquid.

Lily stepped toward him, letting the door close behind her. James didn't look at her until she was over halfway to him and then he made a grimace. "Lily, what are you -"

"You missed supper." She said, though at this point she was starting to get the old curiosity back, wondering at the dark look in his eyes and his messy appearance, as well as the bottle. "I brought you some." She indicated to the tray with a nod of her head.

James stared at it for a moment. "Not hungry." He said in a dismissive tone that would've told anyone else to get out of his cabin. But Lily wasn't anyone else.

"Don't care." Lily replied, stepping closer to his desk. "You need to eat."

James shook his head, a saturnine smile crossing his lips. "Rather not, Lils, if it's all the same to you."

Lils? He'd never called her that before. "It's not the same to me." She responded with a flash of that spirit he'd commented on so many times before. "What are you doing?"

James didn't answer her, instead he stood up and tried to walk around the desk, only to trip and have to catch himself on the edge of the desk. He shook his head and made a disgruntled sound. The liquid in the bottle swished loudly and Lily felt the scent of rum hit her full force in the face.

"You're drunk." Lily accused, her voice pitching slightly with surprise.

"No." James argued straightening and placing one had on the edge of the desk, as if to steady himself. His other hand still held the bottle of rum. "I'm not drunk. Particularly tipsy…perhaps. But not drunk."

That is highly debatable, Lily thought furiously as she watched him push away from the desk toward his bed, which he sat down on without any grace.

Lily set the tray down on the edge of the desk, watching him. "I thought you said Sirius pillaged your store of rum." She held back on the accusing tone, worry setting in at the look in James eyes as he shrugged an uncaring shoulder, then stood up.

"There was one left." He took a long drink as if to prove it.. He stood up, blinking when the angle of the sun hit his face, then he looked at her, frowning.

"Why are you holed up in here…drinking?" Lily demanded finally.

"Could you blame me?" James' reply was bitter and Lily looked at him hotly.

"That doesn't make -"

"I was plotting a course." He broke in, waving his hand at the map on his desk.

Lily frowned and glanced over at the shaky line that had been sketched in ink. "A course to where?"

"That, my dear Lily, is the course that will take us to the closest port relative the palace." James gestured with his hand, a dark smile on his lips. "All we have to do then is get you in a carriage and your back to you lovely, bloody home." He shouldered past her, almost sending her into the desk.

Lily whirled with him, her temper fraying. "Home? What on earth are you talking about, James?"

"Taking you back to your father." James said, not turning to see her but instead pulling out a few choice books from the shelf, then letting them fall carelessly to the floor.

"What?!" Lily balked at him. "Why?"

"Because that's how I'm sure you want it now…this arrangement obviously wasn't what you expected…" James' words were laced with regret and sadness, but Lily was starting to wonder if self pity wasn't working it's way through James' system right along with the rum.

"You are drunk." She said bluntly.

He turned and sent her a seething look. "I am _not_ drunk."

"Then are you just normally this foolish and stupid." Lily demanded, walking over to him and placing herself between him and the bookshelf he was calmly dismantling. James frowned down at her. "Why would I _want_ to leave? James I jumped ship, literally, to be with you? Why would you think I would want to be taken back to England in a carriage, like a wrapped present!"

"Why wouldn't you want to leave?" James argued right back and Lily's back hit the bookshelf when James' eyes blazed into hers. "After seeing that…." He turned abruptly, talking down to the floor while his shaking hands fingered the neck of the bottle. "Cook told you what that ship was…didn't he?" It didn't seem like he doubted the cook of the ship, Lily's second father, who'd been a pirate for more years than James had been alive, would have explained to her what the ship was. It would've been the only reason Lily didn't come storming back on the deck to find out for herself…which in James' eyes would've been even worse. That she wasn't demanding he tell her what the ship was _now_ was an even clearer sign that she already knew.

"Of course he did." James answered his own question.

Lily frowned at him. "That's why you think I want to leave, because of that ship? James _you_ didn't do that - you haven't done anything -"

James broke into cold laughter at this, his shoulders shaking and the bottle slipping dangerously in his grasp. "That's classic….I haven't done anything…" He shook his head, the cold smile still on his lips. "That ship…that's what pirates do. They attack and kill, torture, and rape everyone, leaving the vessel as a smoking reminder that pirates are still infecting the world."

Lily's eyes narrowed slightly. This was not the James she knew. Before she'd fallen in love with him she had hated pirates, and she had spewed the same ideas that he was now saying, about how terrible pirates were. In those early months James had argued every one of those points with her, until she had realized that some pirates, granted not all, were not like the stories she had been told as a child. But now James was standing before her, using her very own insults, as reasoning for her to leave him and _the Marauder_. It didn't make any sense. "James - "

"Though I suppose if you're killed on the ship, you're lucky…" James muttered to himself. "Those who are taken by pirates, worse is done to them. Not only do they have to live with the knowledge that their entire family and life is gone, but the torture the pirates inflict on the prisoners…women in particular…."

"James, pirates did that not you -"

"And I'm a pirate…well ex-pirate on a technicality, but the past is still there…"

"Stop!" Lily had had enough. She stalked over to him and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. "What is the matter with you, James? You know good and well not all pirates are like that. _You're_ not like that. And that ship, James you didn't do that…you've never done that."

"Not directly." James broke in, watching her, his face distant. Lily blinked at him and he let out a long breath that was heavy with rum. "I didn't stop it though…once before. I let it happen, let the people die…watched the ship burn and didn't stop it. That makes it my fault as much as the one who set the fire."

Lily was stunned, staring up at him. True she didn't know all about James' past, but she hadn't thought he'd be one to burn a ship and do those….no he hadn't said he'd done it, she reminded herself. James said he'd watched it happen and hadn't done anything to stop it. It appeared as if he was one of the ones Cook said let the guilt of it eat away at his conscious. He'd buried it deep, but apparently not deep enough.

"But that isn't now." Lily pointed out. "That ship today was set upon by other pirates, not you. And you couldn't have done anything to stop it." James shrugged a shoulder as if he barely heard her, and kept his eyes averted from her face.

"But I am that…I was that …and - " There was a crash and both looked down to see that James had accidentally crushed the bottle with his hand. The rum that was left ran off his fingers and James lifted his hand to look at the cut that now ran across his left palm. A piece of glass still stuck from the center.

There was silence for a moment and James let out a breath, staring at the blood on his hand. "Maybe I am drunk." He said more to himself than Lily. She didn't reply, but instead grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him over to his desk.

Still keeping her hand on his she grabbed the mug off the tray. She'd put some rum in it, but now she decided that James didn't really need to drink anymore. Instead she calmly pulled the glass from James' hand and then pulled the down bandanna that she used to keep her hair back. She dipped it in the rum then placed it on James palm. He hissed softly and Lily pressed down harder to stop the flow of blood.

"Hold that." She ordered and he did. She went around him, digging in one of the shelves until she found the bandages she was looking for, then she came back to him. He watched her silently as she removed the bandanna and began wrapping his hand with the bandage.

"Listen to me James Potter." She said suddenly, her eyes still averted to his hand. "You are not a pirate…you're a good man. I told my father that three months ago…that's why he gave you your freedom. Because you were, and are, a good man."

James stared down at her. "I may be a good man now, Lily, but I was a pirate." He reminded her, but the anger and hopelessness that had echoed in his earlier words was ebbing away.

Lily finished the bandage and James flexed his hand slightly. Lily touched his palm with her fingers and he stopped moving, letting her small hand rest inside his bigger one. "But you're not the kind of pirate, or man, who would destroy all those people."

The certainty with which she said it made James' mouth go dry. He had thought he was through playing the coward when Riddle had been killed, but here he was hiding in his cabin, feeling sorry for himself, getting drunk, which he now admitted he definitely was, and trying to get rid of Lily so maybe he wouldn't have to face the fact that she could possibly think he was still a monster. It was pathetic, if not only for the fact that he knew Lily didn't think of him, or pirates, in the same way any more, but because he never got drunk, and feeling sorry for himself…that was pathetic in an of itself.

But the past was a hard thing to put down, guilt from the past was even harder. Lily's hand tightened on his and she smiled at him, without timidity or secrets, just pure smile. James' mouth smiled back on its own accord, as his hand squeezed hers in return. She wasn't leaving, her smile said, she was staying with the pirate, or man, whatever he was and whatever he had done.

"Eat something." It was more a plead than an order and James let the smile linger on his lips as nodded. She turned and left, pausing at the door to look back at him.

"James…whatever you did before…you're not doing now." She fumbled with her words and ducked her head, biting her lip in thought, then looked back up and met his eyes. "And I love you for what you are now..." She turned and left, the door closing in her wake and leaving James standing in his cabin, alone.

He stood still for a few moments, staring at the closed door, then turned and settled down in the chair behind his desk; looking at, but not really seeing, the course charted on the map in front of him. After a moment James folded up the map and stuffed it back into desk, slamming the drawer shut with an echoing finality.

--

The candle next to Remus' bed flickered slightly with the draft that whistled under the door. He sat with his back up against the wall in the dim light, the necklace resting in his palm. His thumb traced the outline of the compass' arrows that were etched into the ivory, over and over again...

_Dora closed her eyes, via Remus' request, a small smile on her lips as she waited. Remus pulled the rawhide string from his jacket pocket and stepped behind her. Carefully he lifted his arms to put the necklace around her neck, then tie it in the back. Dora's bright eyes opened and she looked down._

_"Remus…" She breathed, touching the smooth ivory with her fingers, lifting it slightly so that she could see the arrows etched on the front, and the S carved at the bottom. She let it settle back on her throat and looked turned to look at him. "Why does it only point South?"_

_Remus shrugged a shoulder, avoiding her eyes. "It's a long story…comes from this tale James heard when we were kids…" He half looked up at her. "You like it?"_

_She returned the smile and put a hand on his chest, making his heart thump so loudly he was sure she would hear it. "I love it. I'll keep it with me always." _

_Then she leaned up and kissed him, Remus thought at first that she missed when she touched her lips with his own, but from the look in her eyes when she pulled away, she hadn't missed at all. _

Remus looked down at the necklace in his hands. It was cold against his palm, slightly darker with age and smoother, but still exactly the same as he remembered it.

"_I'll keep it with me always."_

* * *

What do you guys think? Worth the wait? I'm starting on the next chapter probably today, so I'll hopefully get that finished and posted soon. Be patient with me though - I can't write unless I'm in my "mood" and when I force myself to write without being inspired - it comes off like crap (then I just have to rewrite it later). But while you're waiting...Please Review!!


	5. Wind, Rain, Thunder, Lightning

A/N: Well I got it out faster than the last chapter, I think :) Not as long as the chapter 3 but o well. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I own the plot, and some original characters - none of the reconizable Harry Potter ones, obviously

* * *

Chapter 4: Wind, Rain, Thunder, Lightning

Sirius glared at the horizon, it's black thundering clouds flickered with threatening lightning toppling over one another as they made their lumbering way toward him. He hated storms. More then he hated a ship empty of rum, more then he hated water soup, more then he hated the woman who had been his mother, and more then he hated Riddle.

Well, perhaps the last one was a bit of an exaggeration…

"I hate storms." Sirius said aloud.

James glanced over at Sirius from where he was leaning against the rail, his hand idly running up the red cut on his palm from a few days before as his deep thoughts brewed in his mind. He sent Sirius a questioning look that the first mate didn't catch.

"They're my greatest foe," Sirius continued, still staring out at the horizon. "And what's worse is you can never beat them…only suffer through them."

James shook his head, averting his eyes toward the dark clouds. "Or prepare for them." He countered with an edge of optimism.

Sirius lturned and looked at him warily. "You've lost your gloomy mood." He observed mildly.

James frowned. "I wasn't gloomy….I was -"

"Brooding?"  
"No."

"Gloomy or brooding, either way you were depressing." Sirius said, his tone flippant but his eyes serious. "Are you -"

"I'm fine." James assured him bluntly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, not believing him, but letting the matter drop in the face of the more pressing matter. He nodded his head toward the dark clouds. "How long do you think?" He asked.

James squinted. "An hour or so…if we're lucky."

"So less then an hour, then." Sirius said, grinning slightly.

A smile threatened the corner of James' mouth. "Get the men started on dying things down and securing lines, the more we get done before the storm hits, the easier a time we'll have…suffering through it." He glanced at Sirius, who was looking out at the rumbling clouds that were speeding toward them.

"I hate storms." Sirius muttered bitterly.

--

The storm hit barely an hour later, with a fury that had been building ever since Sirius had spotted it on the horizon. The clouds opened, sending drenching rain onto _the Marauder_, blocking out the sun while flashes of lightning reflected off the surface of the ocean. Thunder rumbled, shaking deep inside the men's bones, reverberating back into loud ear-splitting crashes.

Waves slammed into the side of the ship, sending it careening from side to side. The man at the wheel grunted with the effort to hold the ships steady, and not break his arms in the process. The rain and waves were making the deck dangerous; the water had created a thin film along the wood and more than once a member of the crew skidded in an effort to get across.

They were all scrambling, trying to tie down the lower sails that had come undone and were flapping dangerously in the heavy wind, and keep the riggings taunt so as to prevent the ship from being completely overpowered by the waves.

James grunted, his shoulder slamming into the mast as he tried to tighten a knot. A wave sent a powerful current of water at his legs, almost sending him flat onto the deck. He gripped the mast with slippery fingers to keep his upright position and bit back a curse.

The sound of wood splintering caused his stomach to tighten and he turned as another wave swept toward him from behind. He careened forward slightly, catching himself barely as he felt something run into his stomach.

"_Oof_!" he grunted and looked down to see Lily grab onto the front of his shirt with one hand as her other fought to keep hold of the line she had wrapped around her arm.

Glancing down at her James considered for the briefest of moments telling her to get below deck. But now was not the time for an argument, and he needed every available hand, even hers.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up against him as another wave of water collided with his back. He reached over, his hand snatching one of the longer lines that was tied around the mast and flung it in a noose around her waist, tightening it with one hand in a secure knot.

Lily raised her eyes up to his, questioning. "So you don't get washed overboard." He told her. He turned and felt something knot around his own waist and he looked back at her, then down at the well executed knot she'd tied around his own waist.

"So you don't get washed overboard." She yelled over the gale.

James smiled, for the first time in days, in the midst of the roaring storm. He pulled away from her and grabbed a loose rigging in an effort to tie it down. Lily looped the line she held around a notch from the mast and tightened it into the knots the crew had taught her. It was harder with wet rope, and it slipped and cut into her palms, but she managed to keep the knot intact and the line taunt.

The wind was picking up and there was a loud crack as bits of the rail broke and went flying, causing several of the crew to hit the deck. There was more splintering and one of the taunt lines finally snapped, sending a chunk of wood flying. Lily ducked behind the mast and turned in time to see the wood clip James and send him down onto the deck.

She might've screamed, she wasn't sure. Lily did realize that she'd surged forward off her knees where she'd fallen, only to be jerked back abruptly by the rope around her waist. Her feet slipped and she fell, barely catching herself with her already sore palms.

She looked up and saw a wave wash over her and toward James' limp body. Lily, reached back against the wind and pulled the knife that James had given her as a replacement a couple months ago, from her boot. She cut the line around her waist and scrambled forward to grab a hold of James' shoulder as another wave of ocean hit them, plastering her wild hair against her face. She could feel James' wet shirt slipping from her fingers and with a grunt pulled him up against her, wrapping her other arm around his chest to keep him from sliding across the deck.

"Sirius!" She bellowed, her voice somehow rising above the wind and pound of ocean to alert the first mate who had been one of the crew to hit the deck. It was near impossible to hear anyone over the wind now, but somehow Sirius looked up from the deck and saw her and James. He lunged to his feet and scrambled over, grabbing Remus' arm as he passed by. Sirius pulled Remus down when he fell to his own knees beside Lily.

Quickly, Sirius touched James' head and saw the slight trickle of blood that was slowly getting washed away by the torrent of rain. James grunted softly, but the sound was swept away with the wind so that only Lily heard it. But he still didn't open his eyes.

"Remus get him in his cabin, then get Cook. Lily you stay with him." Sirius said quickly, then turned and began barking orders in quick succession. In response, the crew scrambled to their places to secure the flailing ropes and sail.

Remus hauled James up, pulling a knife from his boat to cut the rope that bound James. "Lily grab his other arm." He yelled to her and Lily obliged, pulling James' heavy arm over her shoulders. They half carried, half dragged him to his cabin, barely managing to get inside.

They lay James down the bed. Remus stumbled across the cabin as the ship lurched again. Finding a basin he dumped in water from the cabinet. He ripped a shred of a cloth that was lying on James' chair and dipped it into the basin, then handed it to Lily who had sat on the edge of James' bed, trying to get past her embarrassment and pull the soaking wet shirt off of James.

"Tend to that cut, I'll get Cook." And then he was gone. Lily pressed the wet cloth against James' forehead, her fingers were shaking so badly that more than once drops of water splattered on James' eyes and mouth. He grunted again, twisting his head away from her touch.

Cook arrived a few moments later, as wet as Lily and James. He gently nudged Lily aside and tilted James' head to get a look at the cut. "It's not deep…it'll probably just give him a good headache in the morning." Cook reassured her with a soft smile. "Try to see if you can find some bandages in here."

That presented itself to be a much harder task than Lily would've thought. She had to go rustling through the cabinets, James' desk, and into at least one trunk before she managed to pull out some faded bandages. Cook cleaned off the wound with more of the water and wrapped the bandage around James' forehead, flattening a line of his wet hair.

"Can you find him something dry? The rain can kill a man." And again she was scrounging through trunks finally pulling out a faded blue shirt and brown breeches. Cook gestured to her to get his shirt and he began pulling off James' boots. Lily's face flamed as red as her hair as she focused on the buttons of James' shirt, then half rolled his body to get him out of the sopping wet fabric and into the drier shirt. Luckily, she was so busy trying to get the shirt on, by the time she looked, Cook had already gotten James into the new pair of pants. He smiled at her, his eyes glittering with amusement.

Lily ducked her head away as her cheeks flamed - of all the times to be embarrassed, she chided herself. It wasn't as if she'd never seen James' chest before, when they practiced he usually went without a shirt. Lily distracted herself by pressing James' bangs away from the bandage.

"Are you sure he'll - "

"Captain's got a hard head, Miss Lily." Cook assured her, though she already knew that. "Watch him tonight and he'll be fine…if this storm doesn't get the better of our ship."

Cook was about to leave when Lily stopped him. "Who'll be in charge now? If James is hurt then -"

"Sirius of course." Lily frowned, she remembered how quickly Sirius had taken charge and started giving the appropriate orders. "If the Captain's…unable to do his duty, then it falls to the first-mate." He glanced over at James once more, and then he too was gone.

Lily turned back toward James, pulling the chair from behind his desk and bringing it to his bed, where she sat down. They'd pulled the blanket up to cover his chest and his eyes tightened as though he was fighting consciousness. Then relaxed again, as he fell into a steady breathing. Lily smiled slightly and leaned back in the chair, her eyes never leaving James' face even as the wind and rain pounded on the glass of his window, and as the lightning lit up the room with an eerie glow.

--

Lily opened her eyes hours later to find a dim light in the cabin. She could still hear the wind and rain, but it seemed to have lessened considerably. Slowly she lifted her head from her arms, which were pillowed on the edge of the bed.

She found herself looking into James' hazel eyes. "You're awake." She said, with numb astonishment.

He started to nod then stopped as his eyes creased in a wince. "Yes." James replied, slowly staring to smile at her. "Not a particularly bad thing to wake up to." He added.

Lily smiled slowly. "That chunk of wood must have hit you harder than Cook thought."

James shook his head slightly, then winced fully. "I think I'm starting to agree with Sirius about storms." He confessed, more to himself than to her.

Lily's eyes crinkled in confusion, but James didn't explain, merely tilted his head to look up at the ceiling, his eyesight was wavering ever so slightly as his head began to pound.

Lily looked down, frowning slightly. James mentioning Sirius had brought back a question that she'd been pondering while she'd watched him sleep.

"James." Lily asked, her fingers caressing the back of his hand, worn and scarred by years of working with rough line and weapons.

"Hm." His answer was a faint grunt and Lily looked to see his eyes half open. The exhaustion that was evident by the creases at his eyes and around his mouth almost caused her to catch her tongue.

"Why is Sirius the first-mate?" She asked. "And not…Remus?" She had wondered it before, when she'd originally learned of their jobs aboard the ship - but she'd never before been presented with an opportunity to ask.

James mumbled something incoherent and then his eyes opened further and he blinked at her. "Sirius can lead…"

Lily frowned "But, then –"

"And people like him enough where they'll listen to what he has to say…it made sense to make him first-mate…the one the crew would have to listen to if I was…incapacitated" James went on, his voice soft and gravely.

"Remus didn't want to be a leader...but he's smart...and his advice, I need...I gave him the second-mate position…so that I can take his advice without the crew questioning it…and if Sirius had to take over as captain, Remus is in perfect position to give his valuable advice to Sirius."

Lily blinked and looked down at her hands again. She hadn't thought such a thing would be that complicated. She'd assumed that perhaps James and Sirius, who seemed to have the uncanny ability to finish each others thoughts, had taken the two lead positions and in afterthought James had given his other friend a position too. Occasionally Lily had wondered how that made Remus feel, though she'd never seen him show anything but brotherly affection toward James and Sirius. It hadn't occurred to her that the reason for each position was deeper than it first appeared.

She smiled slightly, her eyes thoughtful. "So if Sirius is the leader and Remus is the advice, what does that make you?"

James' lip curled slightly as his eyes slide fully closed, the ache in his head increasing. "I'm the Captain." His murmur was confident.

Lily bit her lip in thought. "What does that make me?" She inquired finally.

When silence greeted her in response she looked up and saw that James' head had fallen heavily on the pillow and his eyes were shut. His chest rose and fell steadily with each sleep breath and Lily smiled wanly as she tightened her hand in James', the unanswered question still there.

--

"Well it looks like Captain James Potter has once again outwitted the dastardly foe known as the storm." Sirius said gallantly a day later as James sat up, slightly unsteadily, and swung his feet off the bed.

"You're just upset because I got to rest while you ran around in the middle of said storm." James countered, wincing slightly when he stood up fully. Lily watched him warily, afraid any moment he would fall on his face. He'd almost done it earlier and she'd been lucky to catch him, as he was much bigger than her.

Sirius brushed James' comment aside with the wave of his hand, then sat down on the edge of the desk. Remus was there too, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"So…how's the ship?" James asked, his face wary.

Sirius averted his eyes and Remus' smile faded. "Bad." The second-mate said finally, when it became clear Sirius didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. "Lower sails are torn, rails are splintered and quite a few of that because of the broken rigging."

James groaned loudly, walking over and leaning against the desk. "Why do things keep happening to my ship?" He grumbled.

"All we need to do now is set it on fire and we've covered all the possibilities." Sirius added, earning a withering look from James.

"Don't you have supplies to fix it?" Lily questioned finally.

Sirius shook his head. "A bit, but only enough to get us into port. We used most of our supplies patching up Riddle's damage, and the English damage too. We hardly have any left."

"Shouldn't you have got some more when you were in port last?" Lily questioned sternly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Remus at least had the grace to look a little abashed at the suggestion, while Sirius only shrugged and it wasn't clear if James had even heard her suggestion. "So we have to find a port..." The captain said almost to himself.

"A relatively close one." Sirius put in.

"To get repairs…brilliant." James muttered, going around his desk and rifling through a drawer to bring out a map, which he spread over the desk. From her position Lily could see that the map showed the coasts of not only England, but Ireland, France, and Spain as well.

"We're here." James pointed to a faded spot on the map. "So there are these two in France," He pointed out each port as he spoke. "Three along the Spanish coast, and then there are these two on the English coast."

Remus frowned as he studied the map. "France's out - they hate us."

"Us as in us personally, or us as in the English?"

"Both."

"Ah." Sirius nodded. "Spain's not an option either, we haven't exactly….erm… been cleared over there, have we?"

Lily had been idly listening, but this brought her back into the conversation. "Wait a moment." All three men turned and looked at her. "You haven't…you stole from Spanish ships too?"

Sirius shrugged a shoulder, giving her a strangely proud look. "Dearest Lily, when we pillage a ship we don't look at one's flag or ethnic background. Every ship is equal in the eyes of a thief. Pirating sees no difference between countries or flags or skin color or - _oof!_" Remus smacked Sirius on the back of his head, sending the latter an exasperated look.

"Once or twice." James answered her question. Lily frowned, but didn't press the issue…this time.

"So it's English then." Remus said, ignoring Sirius who was whining pityingly at him for apparently bruising his skull.

James looked down at the ports and winced. "Not good."

"What's not good?" Sirius asked, abandoning his whining.

"The ports…one's pirate and the other's decidingly not." James pointed out, remembering them from earlier stops. "We can't go into a pirate port…if they know we're not pirates anymore..."

"We'll be sitting ducks." Remus finished slowly, eyeing the map with distaste.

"What's wrong with the other port?" Lily asked, confused.

"If they don't know we've been pardoned - "

"We're sitting ducks again." Remus added, a frown on his face.

"So…none of the ports are an option?" Lily demanded. This was getting them nowhere. At this rate they might as well try the Spanish one and hope for the best.

"We need a neutral, preferably familiar port we can go into without having to be pirate or upstanding citizen." James told her, eyes still squinting at the map. He itched at the bandage on his head, finally pulling it off in his irritation. Lily was so engrossed in trying to decide which would be better, facing the Spanish or the French, that she didn't scold him for it.

Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet and James noticed. "Sirius?" He asked, raising his eyes to look at his friend.

"There is another option…another port…" Sirius began almost tentatively, putting Remus on his guard. The first mate bit his lip, avoiding looking at either James or Remus directly. "We'd have a place to stay…probably some food too…"

James was frowning and Sirius leaned over, pointing to a port on the map that James had missed;a small inlet port near the tip of England. It was within less than two days sail from their current position…any minor repairs they could do with their meager supplies would be enough to hold them that long.

Remus' face paled. Sirius' jaw tightened, and he didn't dare look to see Remus' reaction. James studied the point on the map thoughtfully for what seemed like an eternity, then looked up with decision-made eyes, meeting Remus frozen gaze.

* * *

More of an exposition chapter, but a nessecary evil to get to where we have to. The next chapter is started and it's the one I've been most looking forward to so I'll get it up as soon as I can (it'll be much longer than this one). Please Review!!


	6. Old Friends and Lovers

A/N: So yes I was evil and left you with a cliffhanger - but I wrote this entire chapter in a day and then rewrote half of it in another day - without any of the notes I'd planned out (which I lost) - so be very proud of me ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own all the following dialogue and plot.

* * *

Chapter 5: Old Friends and Lovers

Sirius looked up at the Raven Inn, then glanced over his shoulder at Lily, James, and Remus, who were standing in the dirt path leading up to the large house-like building.

"Think she's still here?" Sirius pointed a thumb toward the dark windows of the Inn. He was standing on the small wooden porch in front of the door.

"It was her grandmother's Inn. Of course she's still here." Remus pointed out through gritted teeth. "Now knock on the door, this was your bloody idea." Remus' mood had been sullen since James had decided their destination.

"Knock on the door, Sirius." James ordered.

Sirius took a breath, as though preparing for his own execution, then stepped forward and pounded loudly on the door.

"Who's still there?" Lily leaned over to ask James. "And if it's an Inn…why are we knocking?"

"Because," James whispered back as Sirius banged on the door again. "It's not only an Inn…it's also her home."

"Her home?" Lily raised her eyes to look at the double storied building with it's peeling shutters and small wooden balconies. Then she tore her eyes from the building to gape at James. "_Her_?!"

Sirius had stopped banging and there was a sound beyond the door, moments before it was opened. A woman stood in the doorway, one hand on her hip the other on the edge of the door.

Sirius put on a large smile, opening his arms as if for an embrace. "Eliza-"

_Slam!_

"-beth." Sirius finished to a closed door. He dropped his arms and turned giving them an awkward smile. "Well…she's still here."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot - do you know that?" He shouldered past Sirius and banged on the door himself.

Again the door opened and Lily thought the woman looked ready to spit fire. She stopped, however, when she saw who now stood on her doorstep.

"Remus?" The woman breathed, her voice amazed.

Remus smiled slightly, tilting his head ever so slightly. With an elated cry the woman threw herself into Remus' arms, crushing him with a hug.

Lily gaped in surprise, but James only laughed and Sirius slunk back off the porch, an irritated look on his face.

"Of course she hugs _him_." He muttered bitterly.

The woman pulled away, smiling up at Remus. He nodded his head in James' direction and the woman pulled away to come up to James. She put a hand on his arm, as though to reassure herself he was truly standing before her. "James Potter." She said as though she couldn't believe it.

James winked roguishly at her and scooped her up in a hug. Lily felt her face flush slightly until James put the woman down and grabbed Lily's hand, pulling her over to him.

"Lily." He told her, squeezing her hand with his. "This is Elizabeth Darrow. Her grandmother used to own this inn, we've known her since we got out of the orphanage. Liz, this is Lily Evans. She's-"

"The woman who stole your heart." Elizabeth broke in, smiling brightly at Lily as James' ears went slightly pink. Elizabeth chuckled and then held out her hand, which Lily took, smiling in return.

Now that she stood facing the other woman Lily saw that Elizabeth was only slightly taller than her, and perhaps only a year or two Lily's senior. Wavy dark brown locks fell across her shoulders, framing a tan face. She was dressed in a long, loose blue smock-dress that fell to the ground, with a white shirt underneath, the sleeves rolled to her elbows. Her hand that was grasped in Lily's was warm and callused and her smile and dark chocolate brown colored eyes were full of life.

"It's nice to meet you." Lily said slowly, the jealously from moments before fading completely, in the wake of the kindness the woman was radiating

"Likewise." Elizabeth responded in a commoner's cant.

Sirius shouldered up near James. "Hey, Liz."

Elizabeth looked at him for a moment, her eyes flashing slightly, then without further comment looked back at James. "I'm sure you all are cold and hungry. Come on in." Still holding onto Lily's hand she pulled her toward the door. Remus and James followed eagerly at her heels.

Sirius stood where he was. "Hey!" They all paused and looked back at him. "Don't I get a hug, too?" He asked winningly.

Elizabeth glared. "You can go drown in the bay for all I care." She informed him icily and walked into the Inn, bringing along the other three; Lily casting a confused look back at Sirius and both James and Remus biting their lips to contain their amusement.

Sirius stared at the open door and grumbled under his breath. "Same old Liz." He muttered, then walked through the door into the inn.

--

Elizabeth, who everyone called Liz, was not only the owner of the Inn, she also kept it up completely by herself - doing the cleaning, cooking, and anything else that needed doing.

"Not that many people stay the night." Liz informed Lily during dinner, gesturing toward the other tables where a sparse number of people sat enjoying a drink and food. "The younger men spend most of their nights either in the pub getting drunk, or seducing wenches, though occasionally they stumble in asking for a room. The more proper couples usually bypass this port completely."

"How do you…make money then?" Lily asked. For all that it was nearly bustling, the inn was nice and there appeared to be plenty of food. She'd seen during their initial tour that there were about ten rooms on the second floor, each with it's own bed and linens.

Liz shrugged her shoulder with a smile. "What I meant was it isn't like when my grandmother ran the inn - when every room was packed with five people, most sleeping on the floor. Now, each room is usually filled with one or two people. So I make enough with the customers who do come. I also have a good many friends who are willing to part with some pennies in repayment to what my grandmother did for them."

"Liz's grandmother took care of everyone." Remus said slowly, fingering the top of his mug, smiling slightly in memory. "Everyone loved her."

Liz smiled at that, then gave Lily an interested look. "So," She said, leaning casually back in her chair. "How did these three pirates rope you into their crew? I hope they didn't kidnap you." She sent a glare toward the one person who had been quiet most of the dinner; Sirius.

He glared right back. "In case you've forgotten, James is captain, so if we kidnapped anyone it would be _his_ fault."

Liz snorted, then looked back at Lily.

"Well…they didn't _kidnap_ me per say…" Lily said, glancing over at James.

"I attacked her father's ship and tied her to a contract." James replied blandly as though it was the most uninteresting thing in the world.

Liz stared at him with her mouth dropping open slightly. "You cannot be serious!" When no one refuted the remark she continued. "James Potter, how could you do that to an innocent girl!" James' cheeks turned pink, and he opened his mouth to defend himself.

"It all worked out…in fact I'm glad he did." Lily broke in. James looked at her startled, then slowly his shock turned into a smile.

Liz looked at them, then shook her head. "If someone kidnapped me I'd be ready to rip him limb from limb."

"Oh she tried…" James said, his eyes still on Lily.

Liz raised an eyebrow at them, then turned to study Remus. "I think you're going to have to tell me the rest of the story."

Remus gave her a wane smile and told her what had happened, from Lily's initial arrival on _the Marauder_, to her and James' fights, to her and James' reconciliation, to their final showdown with Riddle. It appeared that though Liz hadn't known about the Key, she had known that Riddle had been after James, and there was evident relief in her eyes when she heard that not only had they escaped Riddle, but that the evil pirate was also dead.

Of course she was genuinely surprised at the untimely arrival of Lily's father, and even more shocked at learning that Lily had convinced her father to free James, Sirius, and Remus of their pirate fate - by a contract no less. And when she heard of Lily's leap across the ships she laughed outright.

"You never do anything the easy way, do you?" She said, looking over at Lily and James, who looked at each other, then back at Liz with embarrassed smiles.

As Remus had been talking, a few more people had filtered into the main room of the inn where the tables were. The fire had been set and was roaring, sending a bright glow across the floor, and there was a group of men huddled in one corner.

Liz followed Lily's gaze and smiled. "They'll start playing any minute, causing a ruckus so even some of those wenches will drift over to have a good dance." But from her tone, Liz really didn't mind that much.

Moments later, true to her word, the men in the huddle broke apart to send a steady beat into the air, helped by winds and one man beating hard on the top of one table. There was even a piano, old and slightly off-key, in the corner that sent up a tremulous melody.

A few of the other people in the room were standing and beginning to dance in the middle of the room. Liz laughed, and held out a hand to Remus. "Come on, let's see if you're sea legs have affected your dancing."

Remus grinned and accepted her hand, letting her pull him forward to join the other dancers.

James leaned over and offered his hand, palm up, to Lily. "Shall we?"

Lily stared at him. "You can…dance?"

James quirked an eyebrow at her and pulled her from her seat and swung her to where Remus and Liz were. He put a hand on her waist and kept the other clasped in his. And before Lily knew it she was pressed up against him, being spun and barely keeping her feet as the men in the corner increased the beat. Liz had thrown back her head and was laughing, a warm sound that made Lily feel at home. Remus was also smiling, for the first time since the storm.

Sirius sat moodily at the table, eyeing the four dancers, then let out a huff of breath. He turned his gaze and saw a few people trickling in from the street, drawn in by the aroma of food, the warm light, and the sound of music and laughter. Sirius stood up, brushed off his shirt and stepped close to one of the newcomers: a black-haired young woman. "Would you care for a dance, lovely lady?"

The rose of her cheeks darkened with a blush and Sirius smile widened. "My father would be none to happy if he found I was dancing with an unattached young man, such as yourself."

The way she was dressed and how she swayed her hips just a little, Sirius doubted most of her words. But he was willing to play along. "It's only a dance, lady."

Her lip curled for a moment, then she grabbed his hand with hers, porcelain resting in clay.. He tightened his grip and led her to where James hand just pulled Lily up against him with a laugh.

The laugh died in James' eyes as he saw Sirius' dance partner. He shook his head slightly, but Sirius ignored him, pulling the girl closer as an accordion joined the other instruments.

Lily had never danced like this. The balls at her father's mansion, or at the King's palace had been fun, but they were made up of perfect lines and memorized steps. Here at the Raven Inn the music was irregular and the steps were made up as the dancers went along. And while she seriously doubted either James, Remus, or Sirius would've survived long dancing at the palace, here in the crackling firelight - they fit.

James twirled her around and she fell forward, catching herself on his chest and looking up with a smile. He grinned back down at her and brushed his lips against her forehead.

Lily closed her eyes at the sensation and then felt something bump into her, she turned in James' arms and saw Sirius dancing with another lady. James frowned at his friend leaning over to grab Sirius' shoulder and jerk him over. As Lily was squeezed between them she could hear the harsh words he whispered to his friend.

"What are you doing?" James demanded.

"Dancing, what does it look like?" Sirius tried to pull free, but James held him there.

"What about you and -"

"If she can have fun, so can I." Sirius hissed back, finally jerking free of James' hold and dancing away with his claimed lady.

James let out a noise of frustration, then looked down at Lily, forcing a smile on his lips. "Come on, you're all flushed. I'll get you something to drink." His hand looped around hers and pulled her from the bustle of people still dancing with the music.

Lily glanced over her shoulder, to see Sirius dancing closer to Remus and Liz, then averted her eyes back to James.

--

Sirius pulled his partner near where Liz and Remus were still dancing. She hadn't glanced at him once since the glare at dinner. Ruffled snobby innkeeper, he thought bitterly to himself. The girl in his own arms giggled and pulled herself closer. Sirius almost winced in disgust, turning it to a look of happiness when he forced himself to look down at her.

He wasn't paying attention to his steps though, and once or twice actually stepped on her feet. It didn't seemed like she minded too much as her grin was still splitting her too thin face with hazel eyes too big for the sullen cheeks. He liked dark brown eyes better, he decided with a quick glance toward Liz. She was laughing; that bright smile that caused every male in the room to look her way, and Sirius fought back a frown.

Remus was pulling on Liz's arm and Sirius could see that he was indicating he wanted to stop dancing. Liz finally gave in, following him back toward their table.

Sirius made his move, leaving the his own lady, so suddenly she almost fell into another couple, and then reaching forward he grabbed Liz's arm, yanking her back toward him.

"Remus you mind if I borrow your dance partner?" He inquired, ignoring the glare that Liz was sending him, or the fact that she was trying to wrench herself free of his tight grip.

Remus sent him a curious look, coupled with a small smile. "Be my guest…"

"Thanks." Sirisu grunted, pulling Liz onto the dance floor where he kept one hand latched on hers at all times, and his hand on her hip, bringing her right up against his chest.

"Comfortable?" He asked, his eyes sharp.

She purposefully missed a step and landed hard on his foot. "Very." Liz growled back as he winced.

Their dancing was misstepped, and once or twice another couple was bumped out of the way. Remus, watching from their table, shook his head and covered his eyes at the battle of wills hidden in the dancing.

Sirius finally spun enough to send them both out one of the doors and into the hallway, which he danced down, still holding tight to Liz.

"Where are you - let go!" She demanded, digging her fingers into his arm.

"Ow!" He pulled his wounded arm from her grasp, stumbling back a step into the middle of the hall. He looked down, past his rolled up sleeves, to see the small marks of red she'd made with her nails. He looked up and glared at her. "What was that for?"

"Oh I can think of a number of things." Liz replied, crossing her now free arms across her chest and fixing him with a dark look. "Where shall I start?"

"You can start at why you're being such a pin-cushion tonight." Sirius demanded, rubbing his forearm.

Liz looked at his arm and rolled her eyes. "Quite being a baby, Sirius." She chided.

He frowned at her. "That _hurt_ Liz!"

"Good!" She asserted, turning to leave. Sirius reached out and grabbed her arm to pull her back to face him.

She twisted out of his grip, her hand poised as if to hit him - but she didn't. "Ten months, Sirius. You've been gone for _ten months_!" She accused.

Sirius blinked slowly at her, dropping her arm. "I've been away longer than that before…" He reminded her.

Liz looked at him as if he'd grown another head, then let out a sound that was something between a resigned sigh and a baffled snort, dropping her arm to her side and turning half away from him. "You're an ass, Sirius Black." She said. "And an idiot to boot."

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "I know."

Liz shook her head, then looked at him. "What exactly did you expect when you came back here, Sirius? A warm greeting? A hug or a kiss?" She demanded, stepping over to him.

Sirius shrugged again. "Maybe…" She gave him a look of disgust and his defenses flared up. "Well why not? I usually get one…and you gave James and Remus one!"

Liz shoved him hard in the shoulder, sending him back another step. "James and Remus didn't walk out on me last time after insulting me - and not only insulting me but dropping me and stepping on me until I felt like dirt, Sirius!" She shoved him again, anger flushing her face red. "How _dare_ you think you could come after _that_ and get….anything!"

Sirius stared mutely at her, remembering their last encounter with a vivid inner eye. Of course it wasn't as though he'd forgotten it…far from it. He'd replayed it over and over in his head. But he'd hoped that if he pretended nothing had happened…that nothing had gone wrong…maybe, just maybe, she would too…

Liz watched him, her heart wrenching painfully in her chest with each beat. Sirius was…complicated, she decided. Infuriating, irritating, maddening…but mostly complicated. And what she felt for him, well that was even more complicated than the man himself - which was saying quite a bit, Liz thought. She half hated him and half…didn't. When she'd seen him on the porch she'd wanted to throw a vase at his head and kiss him at the same time. Even as she stood before him now, seething with hurt and anger from the past months, she would have liked nothing better than to have grabbed him and kissed him.

"It was an argument…" Sirius defended himself, slowly and somewhat pathetically, even he would admit. "Most people insult one another in an argument…in fact _you_ insulted _me_."

She had…but she was sure what she'd said hadn't cut half as deep, though part of her wished it had. She shook her head at him, ignoring his words.

"It shouldn't matter anyway…" Sirius went on, watching her face. "We…what happened….what _you_ said….Liz, that was not part of the deal."

Liz snorted at him. "You're pathetic." She spat at him, even as she fought to ignore the clenching of her stomach. "You're afraid of -"

"I am _not_ afraid!" Sirius broke in with a growl. "Not of…_that_, and most certainly not of you." He went further to explain.

Liz crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at him. "You cling to that deal as much as James clings to those ridiculous contracts of his." Sirius flinched and she plowed forward. "If you're that upset with me tainting your precious _deal_ then you can simply break it!"

It was a low blow and Liz knew it. He'd never break the deal himself, Liz knew. Sirius might not have felt exactly the same way about her as she did about him, and he'd never say it aloud if he actually did, but he needed the deal - it had made up his life for so long and it was something solid and safe…or it had been.

"It was never _not_ part of the deal…" She added softly, more to herself.

Sirius looked up at her suddenly, and Liz realized that he'd heard her. "I know what the deal was." He told her, a renewed strength in his voice.

Liz put her hands on her hips, tilting her head to look at him. "I know…I've heard you kept up your end very nicely."

Sirius blushed red. "I haven't heard the same of you." He bit out.

Liz shrugged a shoulder, and could see a small look of triumph in Sirius' eyes, as if he knew exactly why she hadn't held up her end as solidly as he had. Her eyes narrowed - in truth he had no_ real _idea. "You are the most insufferable creature that has dared call himself a _man_."

Sirius growled in his throat, and moved forward until he'd pushed her right up against the wall, his hands braced on either side of her shoulders. Liz's hands were shaking and a flush ran up her neck, and he smirked. "I haven't heard you complain before."

With him right up against her, Liz couldn't raise her arms to slap him, but she did manage to step on his foot, though he still didn't move back. "Don't you dare, Sirius." She attempted, but the demand came out slightly breathless.

Sirius tilted his head as if considering the request, then ignored it, leaning down to kiss her hard on the lips. It was so unexpected that Liz responded to the lips against hers and the intruding tongue with a hunger Sirius hadn't thought was possible. Her mind was so hazy she didn't realize how he'd put both hands on her hips and deepened the kiss moments into it.

Finally her bearings came back to her, in a rush of anger and hurt and she shoved him back with her now partially free arms.

Sirius stumbled back a step, his chest heaving and his breath coming out in gasps, his heart, much to his chagrin, was pounding quite loudly in his chest. He stole a glance at Liz and found her up against the wall, also trying to get her breath back. He would've smirked at that fact, but something stopped him. Maybe it was her words from ten months prior pounding back in his memory or the evident anger still in her eyes…or the self-hatred at his own words from ten months ago.

"I hate you." She said slowly, looking over at him. But there was no force behind her words.

Sirius looked down for a moment, then straightened to meet her eyes. "Can't you pretend…" He stopped, seeing the look in her eyes, knowing the words would either earn him a slap or worse. He was uncomfortable though, and Liz could sense it.

She shook her head at him. "Sirius…" For the first time her voice was softer and her eyes looked almost wet. Stepping up she raised her hand and Sirius froze, but when her fingers brushed against his cheek he melted, enjoying the warmth that ran down his face at her touch.

Liz remembered the very day that Sirius had suggested the deal. He'd tried courting her, but Sirius showed his passion not in soft words like Remus, and not in tentative gestures like James, but in full blown showings; sweeping her off her feet to kiss her, pulling her down a dark shadowed alley just so he could hold her up against him, or seducing her up to her room. The rules of proper courting aside, he had also been a pirate, tied to his friends, his ship, and the sea. The first two Liz could live with - but she could not stand the sea. It had taken her parents in a tragic storm when she was a young girl and the sound of waves hitting the hull of her ship had haunted her dreams. Since then she'd refused to get on any ship.

Her fear of the sea limited her movement - she couldn't go with Sirius and Sirius wasn't one to leave his friends, his brothers, whom he had been connected to long before he'd met her. But even with those hard facts she didn't want to let him go, and each month that passed with him gone from the port had caused her physical if not emotional pain.

So he'd suggested a deal - one they'd kept up for almost seven years now. It had been agreed on before he'd stolen the Duke's ship - when he had been tied to another ship and another pirate captain. A deal that he was hers and she was his…while he was in port. If he wasn't she had no commitment to him. Any man she fancied, or that fancied her, she was welcome to spend time, night or day, with.

But the deal worked both ways - Sirius was allowed to be with any woman that pleased him while he was away. In a way, Liz realized she was lucky - all those other women had Sirius Black for maybe an hour, and he never came back to them like he did her.

But in another way Liz knew she was cursed. Because any guy she saw in the streets, or who kissed her cheek in exchange for a dance, didn't send a fire down her arms into her heart - didn't make her forget that moments before she'd been mad at him - in fact they never made her mad at all. They just weren't Sirius.

Sirius reached up and touched her hand, bringing it down from his face. It was smaller than his, but just as tan. Clay in clay, he laced his fingers with hers, and they fit perfectly. That fact hurt more than her slap or accusations. "I'm sorry." He finally murmured to her.

Liz looked down. He was sorry…about arguing with her and insulting her…but he wasn't sorry about what he'd argued about.

And maybe she was a coward, Liz admitted to herself. Because no matter how many months went in between her seeing him, or how many other men came to her door or how many women she knew went to him - and no matter how mad he made her, she didn't have the guts, or maybe the desire, to break the deal either.

She fisted her hand in the front of his shirt and pulled him down, taking his mouth this time and feeling rather than hearing the groan on his lips as he pulled her up against his chest.

She ended the kiss early, and pulled out of his embrace. She turned her back to him and started making her way back toward the main room. Sirius pulled himself out of his stupor to catch up with her, grabbing her hand and whirling her to face him. "_What_ was that for?"

"The kiss?"

"The walking away." He amended.

She smirked at him, running a hand slowly down his arm, her own fire coming back. "Just because I _might _have forgiven you…doesn't mean you're necessarily going to get that warm welcome, Sirius Black." She cocked a daring eye at him and turned, adjusting her course to walk up the staircase toward her room upstairs.

Sirius eyed her from behind, and then glanced toward the door where Remus, James, and Lily still resided. He'd just have to catch up with them in the morning, he decided, as he lunged up the stairs after Liz.

--

James heard a thump from upstairs and looked up. The music now was only the soft lilting of the piano, so that noise had definitely come from the floor above him. He frowned softly and looked over at Remus, who was taking a long sip from a mug. His eyes crinkled in a knowing look and James turned his head toward Lily.

Her chin rested in the palm of her hand and she was watching the people who mingled around the room. The firelight reflected against her skin, glowing in her eyes. "How did you meet Liz?" She finally asked, turning to look at James.

James played with the empty cup in front of him. "We were on another ship…and we docked here. We met her grandmother first when we came looking for a room for the night, and since then we've known Liz." He kept it simple, glancing toward Remus who was staying out of the conversation.

"How long ago?" Lily asked. Even after all they'd been through, James was still very quiet about his past. She knew he'd stole _the Marauder_ when he was 18, and that he'd been kicked out of the orphanage at 16. And then for the past two years Riddle had chased him, but other than that she knew nothing of James' life before she'd arrived on his ship. It seemed coming here had thrown her unexpectedly into a part of James' past, and not only James' but Remus' and Sirius' as well.

James frowned in thought. "About eight years, I think." He mulled over, realizing that soon he'd be turning 25 and suddenly felt old. Not that 25 was that old, but having already faced death twice, once at Riddle's hand and the other at the English's, made him feel as if he'd already lived two lifetimes. He glanced over at Lily, reminding himself that she was still young, only 18…though he supposed somewhere in the past nine months she could've turned 19 without him realizing.

"Her and Sirius seem close…" Lily said slowly.

Interrupted in his musings, James looked at her. "How do you figure that?" He asked, not denying it.

Lily shrugged, a small smile on her face. "You could tell…they'd known each other well…well enough to get mad like she was." She studied James for a moment. "Why _was_ she so mad?"

James shrugged a shoulder, though he'd wondered the same thing. Just before they'd gone after Lily's ship was the last time they'd seen Liz. Remus and James had merely dropped by during the time they were in port, Sirius had insisted on staying with Liz at the Inn. Something had happened the last night they were there, something to send Sirius storming back up on the ship and demanding they ship off. They had, only because they were done gathering whatever supplies that had been needed, but Sirius had been completely tightlipped about what had happened. Refusing to discuss it, and instead drowning himself in the pub at the following port - where he had overheard the soldier telling about the treasure on the Duke's ship.

"It has been awhile since she's seen him…maybe she was just mad about that." James suggested, though he didn't believe it. Their visits, and there-by Sirius' visits, had always been irregular.

Lily cast her eyes around and frowned. "Where are Liz and Sirius, anyway?" She hadn't seen them since James had pulled her from the dance floor a good while ago.

James heard the thump from the ceiling and felt his collar tighten for a moment. "I'm sure they're just…." _Thump._ "Talking." He finished slowly.

Remus spluttered into his cup, coughing up some of the liquid he had just drunk. Lily and James each sent him a look; Lily's concerned and James' somewhat frantic. Remus cleared his throat, sending James a smile. "Sorry…strong drink…" He muttered.

"You're drinking water." James told him through clenched teeth.

Remus' grin didn't falter. "Strong water."

James sent him another glare as Lily opened her mouth. But whether it was to inquire further about Liz and Sirius or about Remus' sudden half-laughing, half-choking fit, James wasn't going to sit around to find out. The music was picking up again and he grabbed Lily's hand.

"Come on." He tugged her toward the dance floor, sending a look back at the still grinning Remus.

--

Liz stumbled and hit the dresser in her room, wincing. She rubbed the side of her leg and her fingers were at once caught up in Sirius hand. He grinned down at her and kissed her soundly on the lips, pulling her up against him and running his free hand down her spine, sending a tingling sensation down to her toes.

She grinned against his mouth, her fingers pulling free from his grip as she fumbled over the buttons of his shirt. Sirius stepped back, knocking into the chair and sending it careening down on the floor. He chuckled, and pressed his lips to her neck, letting them caress her skin.

Liz had unbuttoned his shirt and she ran her palms up over his shoulders and down his chest and stomach. Sirius had always been fit, his stomach clenched in hard muscle, tan skin taunt over broad shoulders. Her fingers froze as she felt a ripple of maimed skin on his side, under his ribs. She turned her head away from Sirius lips and looked down.

A dark jagged line ran along his side. She ran her finger along it until Sirius caught her hand with his and held her still.

She continued to stare at it. "What…what is…"

Sirius studied the top of her head with somber eyes. "It's well over three months old." He assured her. She raised her eyes to meet his and he was surprised at the depth of concern in them. Then again, maybe he wasn't.

"Riddle?" She inquired.

Sirius shook his head. "Peter…slimy rat changed sides…"

Liz frowned, remembering the less than desirable man. He'd always seemed…well not in league with Sirius, James, or Remus. "Peter…" But she didn't tease him, only dropped her gaze to look at the healed wound again.

Sirius put a hand under her chin and lifted it until she looked at him again. "I'm fine." He assured her.

Dark brown eyes met each other. Liz gripped the edge of his opened shirt and pulled him down to kiss him with a much different emotion than the hunger from earlier. Sirius relaxed under her kiss and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close.

--

It was somewhat strange to James, walking down the hall with his fingers intertwined with Lily. Not that he'd never held her hand before…but there were still socially accepted rules about a woman and a man, especially two who were courting. Though he supposed many of those rarely applied when the said woman and man were living in the same hunk of wood, and had survived death together. But it wasn't as if even many husbands and wives waltzed through the streets of cities ogling at one another. James let out a breath and felt Lily lean against his arm as he led her toward the room that she'd be sleeping in.

Though, James amended to himself, he had been a law-breaker for over six whole years. So there was no reason that he couldn't hold her, kiss her, and love her from morning till night, then through the night. _That_ thought caused something hot to erupt in the pit of James' stomach.

Except of course that she was _still_ nobility, he reminded himself. She had still been raised with certain morals, ideals, and rules. Sirius could bed with Liz all he wanted without worrying about an English armada bearing down on him because he hadn't actually married her. Lily was no wench…and she wasn't a Liz either.

James let out a breath as they reached the door to Lily's temporary room. "Here you go." He pushed open the door and looked in. There was a small chair in one corner and a bed in the other. There was a window and a ledge just outside the opened window that one could stand on.

Lily stepped in the room and studied it. It was nice, clean at least, and relatively similar to the cabin she had on the ship…but of course bigger. She turned and found James still standing in the doorway, leaning on the door-frame. Lily stepped over to him and mimicked his motion.

"It's nice." She said, smiling up at him. He returned the gesture and Lily felt relieved. Ever since that night that he had threatened to take her home, after the burning ship, she'd worried over him - even more, she admitted, than she had worried when he'd been clipped by the chunk of wood during the storm. But he seemed to have gained his good spirits back, and be slowly pushing whatever had been plaguing him away.

"Mhm." He agreed.

"Where are you sleeping?" Lily inquired.

Of their own accord, James' eyes flickered to the bed in her room, and he immediately felt guilty. Clearing his throat he averted his eyes and hoped she hadn't noticed. "Um…next room over…me and Remus are sharing a room…" He wasn't going to go into where Sirius was.

"Okay." She'd noticed his sudden change in attitude and wondered at what had caused it. But she didn't get a chance to ask as James turned his gaze to meet hers again.

"Lock your door…just to make sure. Liz's house, er inn, is pretty safe. And most of the people from downstairs are gone…but just to be sure."

Lily nodded and when he didn't move away immediately, she lifted up on her tip-toes and kissed him. James readily gave into the kiss, leaning down as she tilted her head up to his. He stumbled forward a step because of the height difference and caught himself on the door frame before he fell into her room.

There was a rush of blood to his head and he pulled away from the kiss before he did end up falling into her room…or on top of her. "G'night." He murmured.

Lily was surprised when he rushed off to the door next door, jumping slightly when it closed so sharply a moment later. She closed the door slowly, locking it as James instructed then pulling off her boots and laying down on the bed. She'd thought she'd mull off what had happened that day, what had happened only moments before, but the instant her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

--

James let out a hard breath as he leaned against the inside of his own door, wanting to bang his head against the wall. He was being an idiot. Kissing was not against any law…at least he didn't think it was. Now he'd probably scared her or made her curious…he wasn't exactly sure which one was worse.

Straightening he saw that the room held a chair and a single bed, much like Lily's room. The difference was that this bed was slightly bigger. James frowned at it, then glanced toward the open window, and the man that stood outside it. He made his way over, and crawled out the window to step on the small balcony-like platform.

Remus was leaned against the rail, his eyes looking out. James took in the sight himself. One could see the whole town, the flickering of lights, the sounds from the streets, and even the port with it's glistening water. _The Marauder_ was there, under the strict supervision of Cook.

James mimicked Remus' stance, leaning against the rail and staring out at the flickering town.

"Lily may be naive…but she's not stupid, James." Remus pointed out slowly.

Out of the corner of his eye, James saw that Remus didn't even turn to look at him as he spoke. "I know that." He said, then sighed. "Am I stupid?"

Remus glanced at him. "Why would you say that?"

James shrugged a shoulder, staring down at his hands. "It's different with Lily than it is for Sirius with Liz, Remus. I can't take her up to her room and spend the night there…with her…" The tips of his ears turned red but thankfully Remus didn't laugh.

"You're not stupid…you're scared you're going to mess it up…and I don't blame you." Remus added softly.

James turned and looked at his friend now. He'd felt guilty about bringing Remus here, even if it was the only reasonable option with their current ship situation. He felt even worse about not allowing Remus to stay on the ship like he normally did whenever they came to this port. It wouldn't do to have him hiding away in his cabin like a hermit - he did it enough anyway where it had started to worry James.

Remus had turned his own gaze back to the town, taking in all the buildings, but one in particular. James still watched his friend. "Are you going?" He asked slowly.

"Going where?" Remus asked slowly.

James snorted softly. "I can see, and hear, it as clearly as you can, Remus." The pub was the brightest building from their view…and the late night sounds could only have come from there. The second-mate remained silent and James let out a breath. "Are you going to…check…"

"Check for what?" Remus demanded sharply. "She's not there, James. I've gone to that pub for over six years now and she's _never_ there!"

James shied away at the outburst, but didn't leave the landing. Remus looked down at his hands, running nervous fingers over his palms.

"It's worse than not knowing…" Remus continued slowly. "Going there and seeing that she's not there…it's worse than not knowing if she's here somewhere…"

Words of sympathy flooded James' mouth but he bit them back. They'd just wash over Remus, he wouldn't even react to those words anymore - not after he'd heard them for six years. Remus didn't want sympathy and he didn't want pity either - even though he had been known to sink into his own self-pity.

Instead, James put a hand on Remus' shoulder until the light-haired man looked up at him. "You won't give up on her." It wasn't a question.

Remus looked down and shook his head. "Not even if I wanted to." He said slowly. James let his hand rest a moment longer than stepped back through the window. A moment later he peered out.

"Only one bed."

Remus glanced over at him, smiling wryly. "We've managed that before."

James rolled his eyes. "When we were scrawny teenagers." He pointed out, then smirked. "Don't punch me tonight."

A chuckle broke through Remus' once pained expression and James disappeared inside to claim his portion of the bed.

--

There was the sound of a door closing but James didn't move, he was still half asleep and supposed the sound was just in his dream.

That was until a heavy body landed half on top of him.

"Oof!"

"Hey what are you doing in my bed?"

"Your bed?" Remus grunted, Sirius' elbow in his stomach. He shoved the newcomer, almost throwing him off the bed. James felt himself pushed up against the wall.

"Yeah…my bed…" Sirius grumbled, shoving right back.

"Why aren't you with Liz?" James demanded, scooting to a better position. The bed might've been slightly bigger than Lily's, but it wasn't meant to hold three grown men.

"I was."

"Well then go back!" This was Remus who was now squeezed in between James and Sirius.

"I'm already here…just scoot over."

"There's no where to scoot over, you twit!"

"Ouch!"

"Get off!"

"No…ow!"

"Shut it." James grumbled at them, curling up against the wall. Sirius wasn't going to leave so they shifted and through more exclamations managed to somehow fit somewhat comfortably on the bed. Sirius hugged the side of the bed, stealing part of the pillow and making Remus threaten him. It was lucky Remus and James had been too lazy to pull on any blankets, or James was sure one of them would've ended up trapped in a cocoon of cloth.

"Sirius…" It was James.

"Hm?"

"Why _aren't_ you with Liz?"

Sirius shrugged, then remembered James couldn't see him in the dark. "I was…but I figured…I'd better find my own bed." He didn't add the fact that he was afraid if he got to cozy with Liz too fast it would lead to another revelation like the last time.

There was silence then and James shifted, moving away from Remus' knee that was prodding his back.

"Do you love her?" The captain finally asked.

No response greeted his question, and James let out a breath, closing his eyes, assuming that Sirius had just fallen quickly into sleep.

On the other side of Remus, Sirius tightened his fist around the edge of the pillow and stared off into the darkness - completely awake.

* * *

But anyway - what do you think? Please tell me. I haven't even started on the next chapter, and I still have to finish my summer reading for college, so bear with me in the next update. Of course I gave you an extra large chapter this time, so hopefully I'll get a reprieve. Tell me what you think...and review!!


	7. Path to the Past

_A/N: So yes it took me forever to update - but I've been extremely busy with college and stuff and I've even given you an enoromous chapter to make up for it ;) The beginning (the part in italics) is a flashback - just to avoid any confusion :) Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter - I really appreciated it! _

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter - I do own the plot and any original characters you see._**

_And now on with the story!_

* * *

Chapter 6: Path to the Past

_James wiped the rag across the table in the galley, swatting at Sirius who had lounged across one of the benches. "Quite being so lazy, Sirius."_

_His friend shrugged a shoulder, taking a bit from the apple he'd snatched earlier. "Why? This is your job." He took another bite, smirking at James, who made a disgusted face._

_Remus was playing with a piece of rawhide and barely raised his head to look at them. "You're a pig, Sirius." He accused. Sirius made a face at him, chomping loudly on the bit of apple still in his mouth. _

_James hit him over the head with the rag and then ducked away as Sirius threw the apple at him. Laughing, James dodged around the table as Sirius tried to tackle him. Remus grinned at them and tripped Sirius as he ran by. The latter fell forward into James and both sprawled out across the floor._

_"Ow!" Sirius whined. The rest of his comment was overpowered by a loud explosion above their heads._

_All three boys started and looked up. James swallowed hard. "What was that?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper. Another explosion rocked the boat, sending Sirius into the table he'd been using to stand up._

_"Whatever it is doesn't sound friendly." Sirius pointed out, scrambling quickly to his feet and heading toward the door. _

_"Where are you going!" Remus demanded, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop. _

_"I'm going to go find out what's going on!" Sirius answered, pulling free and then heading out the door. _

_"Stupid - you see danger and you head right toward it!" Remus muttered under his breath but followed Sirius with James at his side._

_The boat rocked again as they darted through the corridors, mingling with the sailors who were scrambling to the gun bays with swords at their sides. James paused for a moment, watching as one man brushed by them with a sword in his hand. An uneasy feeling twisted in James' stomach and he felt naked with no sword of his own - though he wouldn't have known what to do with it if he'd had one. He hurried to follow Remus and Sirius who had made it to the top deck, stopping at the rail to stare out at the looming ship that was steadily gaining on them._

_"A ship." James mumbled, barely aware of the sailors scrambling around him and the words they shouted to one another._

_There was another loud sound and burst of smoke came from the side of the pursuing ship. Under James' feet the boat rocked and he fell into Remus._

_"It's a pirate ship!" Sirius cried, somewhere between panic and awe._

_James' uneasiness turned to ice cold fear. "We need to get out of here." He said, turning to head toward the lower deck._

_His friends followed, frantic and confused. "What do you mean 'get out of here'?" Remus demanded. "There's nowhere to go!" _

_"We need a weapon…something to defend ourselves!"_

_"We're cabin boys, deck swabs, cook's assistants - we don't have weapons!" _

_"Then we'll find some!"_

_The boat rocked again, the echo of the blast louder now and the shouts from the men on the upper deck rose in volume, spurring James into a run. He could hear the explosions from his own ship, and each jolt told him that they were barely holding on. Shouldering open one door he found himself in the long room where tens of hammocks hung. Scrambling forward, he began digging through the men's bags. _

_"What are you doing now?" Sirius asked as another explosion sent him into one of the support beams. He gripped it hard as the ship shook. _

_"Start looking for a weapon!" James returned, tearing into the blankets on the hammocks._

_Remus followed suit and Sirius with a huff did the same. The boat shook and the smell of smoke reached their noses. "We're going to die." Sirius chanted as he ripped through a sack, tossing a man's clothes onto Remus, who threw them off with a frustrated growl._

_James shoved the bags away from him. The yells had increased and there was the sound of running feet and screams above and around him. "Damn." He said aloud. Louder sounds could only mean the pirates were closer or already on the ship. "Come on." He rushed from the room, scrambling through the door._

_"But - I - uh!" Sirius grunted, following James out into the corridor, where James had frozen - staring at something further up the hall. Sirius turned his own gaze and felt a hand clapped across his mouth as Remus stopped the squeak that had threatened._

_At the end of the hall were two men locked in a battle with swords. The taller of the two flung the other into the wall, the man turned trying to defend himself and there was another, much louder explosion that echoed down the hall and caused all three boys to start._

_The gun smoked from the pirate's hand and the man slumped heavily to the ground as red spread from the gaping hole in his chest. Then the pirate turned and saw them. _

_James couldn't move as his eyes widened in horror as the man raised his gun to shoot again. There was a tug at his shoulder and James felt his body hit the floor as the bullet ricocheted off the wall, splintering wood at James' face._

_He pulled himself off the ground and with Remus and Sirius bolted down the hall as the pirate yelled something at them, then there was the sound of more running feet._

_"What now?!" Demanded Sirius as they turned the corner and James wrenched open the door to the galley, and stumbled toward the kitchen._

_"Get the knives from the kitchen."_

_"James did you see what just happened!" Remus demanded, catching the knife that James threw to him, looking at it with panic. "This is never going to - "_

_The door to the galley slammed open and Remus jerked, turning as three pirates burst into the room. Sirius yelped and dodged as one of them tried to club him with the butt of a gun. Remus fell backwards, his back slamming into the wall, he saw the sword coming towards his chest and ducked down, scrambling through the pirate's legs then turning to kick the back of his knees, sending the pirate sprawling. _

_"Ha." He muttered, only to be grabbed from behind by another of the pirate. The knife fell helplessly from his grip as the pirate's arms tightened around his throat. Remus gasped for air, clawing at the arms that held him…_

_James lunged for the knife that had fallen on the floor and thrust it into the arm of the pirate who held Remus. The pirate gave out a loud shout, dropping Remus who rolled out of the way as the man pulled the gun from his belt and aimed at James. The black-haired boy gasped and fell out of the way as the bullet cut through the flesh on his arm._

_It was the first time he'd ever been shot and it burned like hot iron, ripping the flesh and muscle from his bone and sending him down onto the floor. Sirius leapt from where he'd been behind a table and landed on the back of the pirate who stood over James, yelling like a maniac as he shoved his fist into the jaw of the pirate._

_Remus felt another set of arms come around him, but this time he bit down hard into the hand that held him, earning a curse from the pirate._

_James pulled himself up from the ground, not daring to look at his sleeve that was being soaked in his own blood. One of the other pirates lunged at him and he grabbed the flour bag that sat at the edge of the kitchen and threw it. It hit the advancing pirate in the face, blinding him as the powder hit his eyes. He cried out, grabbing for James and missing as the boy dodged around heading for the door. _

_It was filled by a large man, larger than any of the other pirates. James faltered and the man's arm came out connecting with James' face in a sickening crack. The boy flew through the air, crumpling against the wall. Sirius lunged forward only to be flung to the ground by the weight of one of the other pirates. Remus yelled out as the pirate's grip tightened around his throat._

_James grunted and tried to shimmy up the wall, but faltered as he felt something wet running down the side of his face. His vision blurred, but he could see clear enough the glint of steel as the man who had been in the doorway now raised a sword to James' throat. James froze, the feel of cold steel at the base of his throat sapped him of any energy to fight._

_The man, the pirate, in front of him smiled slightly. "I like you boy." He said slowly, then glanced toward the pirate who held Sirius, who was still clawing at his captor, to Remus who was struggling to get a breath. "Don't kill them yet." He said. Immediately the other pirates loosened their holds, Remus took a grateful breath but Sirius didn't stop struggling as the pirate heaved him to his feet._

_The pirate who seemed to be in charge looked back at James. "You intrigue me…" James held his breath, afraid if he took inhaled his throat would meet the tip of the pirate's sword. "I like your…enthusiasm." He smiled slightly. "What's your name?" _

_James swallowed hard. "James." He managed._

_"James what?" The pirate demanded._

_James stared at him. He was an orphan - he didn't have any other name than James. But the pirate wanted a name, so James searched his mind for anything that would serve. The only name that came was the name of the cook that had taken James under his wing for this surprisingly short journey. "Potter." He stuttered, ignoring Remus and Sirius' startled looks._

_"Well, Potter." James flinched slightly. "What do you say to joining my crew?"_

_James felt his mouth go slack as he stared at the pirate above him, the distorted face, marred by a scar across one eye, the twist of his lips in more of a smirk than an actual smile, the sword still held at his throat._

_"And your friends of course." The pirate looked at Remus and Sirius who had frozen in their own shock. "Your fighting could use some work, boys. And I believe my ship would be a perfect place to learn such an art." _

_James stared at him. "Why…" He fumbled as the man looked at him, then straightened as much as he could while still up against the wall. "Why should we trust you?" He demanded, his courage mounting ever so slightly with each word._

_The pirate raised an eyebrow at him. "It's either you die now…or live a couple more years as a pirate. Your choice."_

_The pirate pulled the sword back ever so slightly and put out his other hand, it was twisted with scars as well. James stared at it for a long moment, then slowly reached forward to grasp it with his own unblemished palm._

--

Lily woke with a start, the morning light drifted in from the window coating the floor in a red-orange glow. Slowly sitting up, she ran a hand through her tousled locks, glancing around the room, registering the lack of motion and the size of the room with a blink. It took only a moment more before she remembered where she was:

At a new port, in the inn where one of James' old friends lived.

Lily curled her knees up to her chest, resting her elbows on her knees as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Today she knew the repairs on _the Marauder_ would begin and the earlier the better. She also knew James would rather work from dawn to dusk then try to work in the fading light of evening.

Pulling her protesting body from the bed, Lily paused to look in the window as the room was absent of any mirror. Her hair was ruffled, her clothes rumpled and her reflection blinking sleep away. Lily ran a hand over her cheek and grimaced at the state of her hair and the clothes.

A change of clothes would've been intelligent, she surmised too late, and a brush. She did the best she could by running her fingers through her hair, then pressing her palms along the wrinkles in her shirt and pants.

Finally when the reflection in the window resembled her true self more than a half-asleep stranger, she bent over and pulled on her boots. Then, ignoring her beckoning bed, she unlocked the door and stepped out into the hall.

She paused just as she was about to walk down the corridor, seeing someone standing at the door James had indicated as his. It was Liz, dressed in similar clothes to the ones she'd worn the day before, with her hair pulled back from her face with a rawhide string. She was leaned against the door frame, staring at something in the room with a small smile on her lips.

Lily walked softly along the wall to pause at the open door. With a glance at Liz she peeked around the doorway to look inside. The room was only lit with the morning rays, but it was bright enough to see clearly the forms on the bed.

Lily blinked in surprise at the sight James, Remus, and Sirius made. All three men had somehow managed to not only fit, but to stay on the relatively small bed the entire night. Remus was stretched half on his back, his arm over his eyes as if to shield them from the sun that was invading through the window. Sirius clung to the edge of the bed, half a pillow bunched under his head and peaceful look across his face. James was curled up against the wall, his legs sprawled out below him, each breath shown in the steady rise and fall of his chest.

There was a chuckle to her left and Lily glanced at Liz who was smiling softly, her gaze still on the three sleeping men.

"When they first came here they had to share one bed out of necessity." Liz explained, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. "They always ended up like that…like puppy-dogs - all tails, ears, and paws."

Carefully and silently, Liz closed the door, deciding that she'd be kind to her three old friends and let them sleep. After all, from what they'd told her the night before, they'd need all their strength and stamina to fix _the Marauder_. Instead she turned her gaze to Lily. Immediately she raised an eyebrow at Lily's still slightly messy hair and wrinkled clothes. Her lip quirked in amusement and Lily followed her gaze with a slight flush on her cheeks.

In contrast Liz looked much cleaner and refreshed. She looked…happier than she had been the night before. Perhaps happier was the right word, Lily decided noting the slight flush of Liz's cheeks. Maybe, content was better.

"Most of my other clothes are on the ship…not that I have a tremendous amount." Lily answered Liz's silent question.

Liz smiled in understanding, then in a mother-like motion reached forward and straightened Lily's messy hair behind her shoulders. With a smile, she then beckoned with a hand. "Come on, you can help me with breakfast…Remus did tell me last night that you were Cook's assistant on the ship."

Lily nodded slowly, she was perfectly willing to help the woman who was letting them stay for free in a place that didn't sway with every whoosh of wind. Liz led Lily down to the kitchens, passing a few stumbling men who nodded toward her and immediately winced with headache.

Lily's eyebrows rose as she stepped into the kitchen. It was bigger than the galley on the ship and was stocked with food. Dried meat was hanging to one side, preserved with salt. There were bushels of various types of vegetables and fruits in one corner and a long wooden table where sat a few bowls and pots. There was a stone oven against one wall.

"Here." Liz handed Lily a knife and nodded her head toward one of the bushels of fruit. "You can cut that up while I start the fire. We'll need it to get hot enough to bake some bread." Lily nodded, admittedly excited by the fact that she would be getting fresh bread, instead of the normally hard tact that was usually a necessity on _the Marauder_.

Silence stretched as Liz made the fire and began kneading dough that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Lily went right on cutting the fruit, until Liz told her she could attack one of the hunks of dried out meat.

Lily glanced up from her cutting to watch Liz. The woman had flour dusted on her cheeks and her tongue was sticking out of the side of her mouth as she forced the dough into a desired shape. She was…strong, Lily decided slowly. Something about her made Lily admire and respect her, and it wasn't just because Liz had managed to run this whole inn by herself, there was some spark in her eyes, some way she held herself, that Lily almost envied.

Not that Lily was weak - she'd held her own against James in those first months when they'd loathed each other down to the other's bootstraps. But that strength had come from a passion against James, now with a passion for him she occasionally felt like a subdued wallflower. His gaze made her blush, and his hand in hers made her heart flutter. Was that normal behavior? She wasn't sure - her mother had died long before such questions needed answering, and none of her cousins had fallen in love.

James had once commented on her fervent spirit - it was something he admired in her, and was one thing she definitely did not to lose.

The silence that was continuing was starting to make her nervous. "You've…known them for a long time, haven't you?" Lily prodded slowly.

Liz looked up and smiled in return at the younger woman. "Too long…enough to know some of their embarrassing moments that James I'm sure would rather me not discuss." Lily smiled, curious despite herself. "And enough to know their pasts…even the darker parts." Liz looked down for a moment and Lily felt a familiar ache come into her throat. It wasn't jealousy, necessarily, it was just that Liz was right - she knew James, Remus, and Sirius. She knew their past, had been part of it, and that knowledge was something Lily craved.

It had nothing to do with being nosy, though Lily knew James would've dubbed it that. It was simply that she wanted, no _needed_ to know why James did some of what he did. He'd pushed her away because he believed in a story - he'd reacted to the burning ship because he'd done that treacherous act before. But why he had looked so long for a missing treasure, why he had been a pirate and strangely had a good heart, why he would stand so firmly for his friends - she didn't always know the reason. She often felt like an open book, because everything she did reflected on the life, the rules and morals her father had engraved into her from birth. James, on the other hand, didn't act like a normal pirate - but didn't act like a normal man either.

Lily bit her lip to stop a sigh from coming out. After nine months you would think I'd really know him, Lily thought to herself, but I really don't.

Liz watched Lily's face and could almost feel what the other woman was thinking. Liz wasn't a fool and knew that James was not one to willingly give over information - even to someone he obviously cared a lot about. Sirius, maybe…Remus, it depended on the topic…but James? Never if he could help it.

With just a glance at the younger woman's face, Liz knew what Lily wanted. The innkeeper leaned forward on her elbows, grinning to Lily. "When they first came here, they were the lankiest, clumsiest, bright eyed boys I'd ever seen in my life." Lily's eyes lit up slightly and Liz continued. "Remus was scared to talk to anyone and James was eager but jittery too. Sirius was the only one who was bursting with complete unhindered energy."

"He still bursts with unhindered energy." Lily chuckled, remembering all the times she'd seen Sirius swinging from the riggings or raising his voice to gain the attention of everyone, just to have their eyes on him.

Liz nodded in agreement, leaning more casually on the table. "They'd just been on their first ship…well second but their first _pirate_ ship." Lily frowned slightly at this, but didn't interrupt. "The captain had told them they could have a night in port - I remember hearing Sirius say it meant they'd finally become real men, real pirates." Liz shook her head, looking down with a watery smile. "They only saw the fun in being a pirate - only saw the gold and the glory…they didn't see the rest of it, didn't realize the rest of it until later."

Looking back up at the redhead, Liz shook her head in amused remembrance. "Sirius burst through the door with James and Remus and beamed at everyone in the main hall. No one really paid him mind, even when they sat down to a table. I was walking by with some soup and he spotted me just as I saw him. He pointed at me and told Remus and James 'I'm in love!'

"James smacked him, but I remember he was still smiling. Then Sirius told me he was a pirate and he was going to come and steal me away on his ship.

"Well, even if he was all that handsome, and he was even then, I didn't exactly take kindly to being told that…and of course it was embarrassing - his words having drawn the entire room full of men to look at me. So….I threw the soup at him…"

Lily burst out into uncontrollable laughter and Liz's eyes widened at the response her story had. Lily fought to control her laughter, gripping the table in an effort to keep her feet as Liz started to chuckle with her.

"You…threw soup…at him?" She gasped for breath between laughs.

Grinning, Liz nodded. "I felt terrible about it afterwards…and Sirius claimed I burned all the hair off his chest. But it didn't stop him from coming back the next night, just before they left…" Liz stopped, looking down at the bread that was starting to rise.

"Why did he come back?" Lily asked, getting control of her laughter as she wiped away a stray tear from her watering eyes.

Liz smiled to herself. "He told me he was going to sea….and then he said when he came back he was going to marry me." She snorted to herself. "Can you picture that? Sirius Black marrying someone?" Liz questioned, half amused and half bitter.

Lily watched her; it was obvious that Sirius had come back since that day…but it was also obvious that he hadn't kept his pledge. The story hung in the air and Lily reached forward and touched Liz's arm, causing the older woman to look up, startled.

"When I was first on _the Marauder_ and James made me Cook Assistant…he wouldn't let me leave when we got to port. So I went down to the galley to make something…I ended up making potatoes. But while I was cooking he came and bothered me…he was making me so mad!" Lily remembered, shaking her head with a smile. "So I threw a potato and hit him in the head." Lily finished, giving Liz her own story as an offering.

Liz guffawed, her eyes shining in mirth. "You threw…a potato?"

Lily blushed slightly and grinned, nodding. "It hit him right in the back of the head."

Liz laughed even more and by the time the three spoken of men walked through the door, Lily and Liz were both laughing until tears were running down their faces.

Sirius stood in the doorway, staring at the two women with a look of fear on his face, he glanced over at James whose eyes had widened considerably. "Should we be scared?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged a helpless shoulder, looking back at his friend. "I don't know…what do you think they were talking about?"

At that moment, Lily and Liz looked over at them, and immediately the laughter increased.

"If I had to wager a guess." Remus said, coming up behind them. "I'd say it was about you two."

James made a face. "You know that the three of us are like a whole." Sirius pointed out to the mousy-haired newcomer. "If they were talking about us - they were probably talking about you, too."

Liz tried to control herself, long enough to grin at James. "I hear you were attacked by a potato." She teased. Lily giggled and James blushed red.

"I doubt it." Remus said slowly, leaning against the wall. "I've never made either Lily or Liz made enough at me to throw a potato or any other object at my head. Only you two have ever done that."

Sirius called Remus something which made James suddenly appreciate the volume of Lily and Liz's laughter. He swatted Sirius on the shoulder, sending him a meaningful look, and stepped over to the two women.

"If you're done…" He inquired. Lily bit her lip, trying to stop the giggles and Liz put a hand over her mouth. Both only did so much to smother the amusement in their faces. "We do have to go and buy supplies and use said supplies….so a breakfast would be appreciated." He glanced down at the dough that hadn't been put in the oven and the pieces of meat and fruit strewn over the wooden table and raised an eyebrow.

"We were distracted." Lily explained, her laughter dying down somewhat.

Sirius grunted and came around to stand near Liz. "We can see that." His stomach grumbled and his frown deepened. "I'm hungry."

Liz shoved his shoulder, sending him a step away from her. "You're a baby, Sirius. There's some meat and fruit, have that. It doesn't have to be on a china platter for you to eat it."

Sirius leaned over Liz, purposefully bumping into her shoulder, to grab an uncut apple, which he chomped in front of Liz's face. She pulled on a disgusted expression.

"Sirius I'd be careful." Lily warned, causing both dark-haired men to look at her. Then she smiled. "Liz might throw some soup and scald you."

Liz didn't bit her tongue in time to stop the laughter that bubbled up as Sirius' eyes bugged and his face flushed. Remus chuckled, but quickly stopped when Sirius looked over at him, though the smile didn't fade from his curled lips. "See…now you know what they were talking about. The two of you being idiots."

"They'll be talking about how best to prepare your body for burial if you don't start moving toward the docks." Sirius ground out, making his way around the table. Remus rolled his eyes, but escaped out of the kitchen just as James grabbed a hold of Sirius' arm. The first mate's momentum dragged James toward the door and he glanced back at Lily and Liz.

"We'll be at the ship…you know how to find it, don't you Liz?" He asked with a grunt as he tried to hold onto Sirius.

Liz took a deep breath, calming her bubbling emotions, and nodded.

James' gaze flickered to Lily, then back to Liz. "Take care of Lily for me."

Lily's eyes flashed towards him and she opened her mouth to respond, but Liz beat her to it. "James, I'm sure Lily can take care of herself. She's not made of glass." The innkeeper chided.

James was about to retort but Sirius managed to jerk him out of the kitchen before he could.

--

"How can two people bond that quickly?" Sirius demanded later as he, James, and Remus walked through the streets of the town in search of supplies.

"They're women…" James fumbled, but couldn't explain further.

"When they have similar topics people bond." Remus pointed out slowly. "In this case, the topic was the two objects of either woman's desire being idiots."

Sirius took a swat at Remus, who dodged gracefully away. "And you were never an idiot?" Sirius demanded.

Remus frowned. James glanced at Remus' face and then shoved Sirius' shoulder. "Sirius, don't put your foot in your mouth."

"What, so he can tease me and I can't tease him? Where's the fairness in that?" Sirius complained. James shook his head and let out a breath, his eyes scanning the shops.

Sirius grumbled under his breath for a moment. "We didn't bond that quickly." He pointed out.

"That's because you punched James in the face when you first met him." Remus pointed out blandly, sidestepping around a young boy, while keeping his hands securely in his pockets to prevent any pick-pocketing.

Sirius shrugged a moody shoulder and turned his head away. It was true. When he'd been dropped off at the orphanage by his less-than-worthy mother he'd been an angry heathen - as the orphanage master had dubbed him. And who wouldn't have been, Sirius wondered furiously to himself. To be left, abandoned by the only person you loved, by your only family, at the meager age of five? James and Remus were the lucky ones, they didn't know what they were missing.

Not that his mother had been ideal. She'd been a wench, a whore, and her personality led Sirius to wonder how she'd ever gotten any man to bed with her. But she was his mother…and she'd betrayed him. She'd left him when he needed her, as every child needs his mother. And that had caused the first true hate and anger Sirius had ever known.

So when James had come up to him, offering him a blanket and a bed to share - for there were no other beds in the orphanage that weren't already full - Sirius had been ready to take his aggression out on anyone that came in his way.

He regretted that it had been James who got his fury.

Still it had worked out. After the cut on James face was taken care of, James'd had the guts, or the lack of sanity, to hold to his previous offer. This time, Sirius hadn't punched him, but had accepted the blanket, the bed, and the friendship.

Still, it wasn't like they'd started laughing about it right away…Remus for one had been spooked by Sirius for the first couple nights and James had been more wary of him for a few days until things solidified between them.

Sirius shook his head out of his stupor. But that was a whole lifetime ago. He wasn't the pathetic kid dropped off at the orphanage any longer. He wasn't that angry, and he certainly wasn't that alone any more. He bumped his shoulder into James like a dog who wanted attention and his friend glanced over at him, rolled his eyes, then grinned in return.

--

A few days later, Liz and Lily heaved one of the heavy barrels full of water to the center of the deck of _the Marauder_, grunting with the effort. When it finally rested securely on the deck, Lily leaned against it heavily, a loud breath escaping her lips.

Liz hung a ladle on the edge of the opened barrel and sent Lily a wry look. "You'd think the boys had the hard work…" Lily smiled in return, wiping sweat from her brow.

James had requested her and Liz, with the occasional help of Cook, be in charge of ordering the supplies - not only limited to the ones used to repair the ship, but also to the food and liquids the crew needed presently, and would need once they'd shipped out. Liz knew the town best, and it was through their shopping expeditions that Lily saw the town.

It was also the time when she learned how Sirius had picked a fight with a French captain over his daughter, the time Remus had managed to outwit a Spanish don out of fifty gold pieces, and the time when James pretended to court Liz, upon her own request, just to make Sirius jealous. It had backfired, when Sirius had nearly thrown James out the window, only to feel immensely guilty for it later.

Lily had also heard stories that the three men had told Liz from when they were on the seas, before and after taking _the Marauder_ for their own. There were adventures in Tortuga, chases on the high see, and fights in the street or pub. No story was like any of the others - and none of the stories had Lily heard before talking with Liz.

Sirius came over to them, a warm smile on his lips. He dipped the ladle into the water and splashed some on his face, before Liz snatched it away. "Only for those who are working, Sirius." Liz teased him.

Sirius spread his arms, exhibiting himself as evidence; displaying his bare chest glistening from sweat and his sunburned shoulders. "And what, precisely does it look like I'm doing?" He challenged back.

Remus nudged him out of the way to take his own sip from the barrel of water. Sirius flashed Liz a grin, bumping flirtatiously into her. Liz rolled her eyes, but there was a faint smile on her lips.

"Sirius bring me up a line, will you?" James shouted down from his position, balancing on a spar in the middle of the mast.

Sirius raised his head, shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun as he looked up at James. Lily raised her own gaze and felt a nervous jolt in her stomach at James' balancing act. Why be worried, she scolded herself, James has done this hundreds of times - just be grateful _you_ don't have to go up there.

"Why me?" He demanded at James, who was too far away for his glare to have any affect on the whining first mate.

"Just get up here!" James yelled down again.

Sirius sent Remus a sideways look filled with amusement. "Why don't you go up there and help, Remus?" He prodded.

Remus gave him a look. "Not in your life."

"Why not?"

"Because if men were meant to be up that high - we would've been born with wings."

"And if men were meant to be jelly spined we would've been born fish." Sirius retorted, though without a hint of animosity. Remus rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving Sirius with Liz and Lily.

The first mate turned his gaze to the red-head now. "What about you, Lily?"

Lily let her gaze once again follow the steep incline of the mast to the spar James was on. She shook her head abruptly. "I'd rather not."

Sirius sent her a teasing look. "Scared of heights, Lily?" Liz swatted his arm with the back of her hand.

"Get up there and help James, Sirius. It's your job." Liz ordered.

Sirius let out a long, exaggerated sigh as he picked up the desired rope and threw it over one shoulder. "Fine. I'll do it by myself then." He swung around, pulled Liz up to his chest and kissed her chastely on the lips. Then with a saucy wink, he left them to scale the mast.

Liz stood slightly stunned, her face reddening by the minute as Lily's eyebrows shot upward in amusement. The red-head had to bite her lip in order to hide her smile until Liz's color returned to normal. Though once or twice Lily caught her glancing up toward the mast where Sirius was now level with James.

Through the rest of the afternoon, Liz and Lily watched over the water barrels, ensuring no one man was spending his entire time lingering around its contents. A few times they were asked to hold a plank or new rail in place, or to tie down a rigging. But mostly the men took care of the actual repairs.

As the afternoon sun started to turn the sky orange Lily left to aid Cook in preserving and storing some supplies he'd acquired in town that day. Left on her own, Liz leaned against the rail of the ship, resting her elbows on the recently repaired wood. The scene in front of her was the same as it had been the for the last couple of days, and Liz had seen it enough to know it was routine; the unloading, reloading, and examining of cargo, whilst the crew of _the Marauder_ worked away at the damages of the ship.

Out of the corner of her eye, Liz saw Remus' gaze never leave the men working along the dock. His forehead was creased and his eyes slightly unfocused, as though his mind was not on what he was seeing.

Liz moved along the rail and stopped, still a good distance from the silent man. She tilted her head, looking up at the sky dusted with white clouds. Running a casual hand through her hair, she began absently playing with the ends of her locks before she spoke.

"You go from the inn to the boat every morning." She began, still not looking directly at Remus. "And then from the boat to the inn every night."

Remus barely glanced at her. "It's a ship." He avoided.

Liz looked sharply down at him. "_Ship_." She repeated sharply. He looked up at her now. "You never dare to look left or right - what are you so afraid you'll see?"

Remus dropped his eyes, nerves causing his shoulders to tighten under Liz's realizing gaze.

"Or not see."

He straightened, towering over her with blazing eyes. He had been lectured one too many times - had been prodded and pulled from his sulleness. Couldn't they save their pity? And let him wallow and face it on his own? They had no idea and no right to lecture!

James had never lost Lily. Sirius had angered Liz but she'd never disappeared. They'd never had it all - and then had it ripped away.

Remus' anger boiled to it's breaking point. "The same thing you're afraid of when you look to the harbor and don't see Sirius." He spat back bitterly.

Instant regret followed - Liz had only ever tried to help. Who had kept watch all those years in the port when he couldn't?

Liz's cheeks flushed for only a moment before she shook her head at him.

"You know…you're right. I am afraid - we all are. James hides his past because he's afraid his entire world will crumble if Lily finds out. Lily…I think Lily wants to hold all his broken pieces but fears he'll never trust her that much. I'm terrified of the sea - because it didn't return my parents and one day it might do the same with Sirius. And Sirius…is afraid of me."

Liz looked down, a wane smile pulling at her lips. "We're all afraid, Remus…we just don't wallow in it."

Remus turned his face away, staring at the dock but not truly seeing anything.

"If you wallow - you're _never_ going to find her." Liz continued.

He looked back over at her, his mouth dry. "And what do you suggest?" His voice was hollow.

Liz shoved him in the shoulder, though not hard enough to send him stumbling. "Go look for her."

"I did!" Remus defended, a hint of helplessness in his voice.

"Do it again." Liz pressured.

Remus bit his lip, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Just take a detour - another route to the inn - near the pub." Liz consoled. "It couldn't hurt.

Remus visibly winced and Liz shook her head at herself.

"Sorry…it will hurt." She amended, putting her hand on his arm, forcing Remus to look at her. "But that hurt might be worth it…in the end."

--

His steps echoed down the silent hallway, alone as he was James couldn't help the cramped feeling that the echo created within him. He would've rathered there be tens of people crowding the halls than the suffocating feeling of being alone with only his footsteps. But Remus had disappeared after dinner to who knew where - and James knew precisely where Sirius and Liz had gone off too.

It wasn't often that he felt lonely. On a ship filled with men, including two who were his brothers in all but blood, not forgetting the woman he loved, it wasn't often James had the chance to feel lonely. There were far too many people, one had to deliberately go looking for a place to be alone.

Here it was different. It was more open than any ship, and men found themselves getting lost from everyone else. It was with this feeling that James walked down the hall, stopping when he finally reached Lily's door.

He knocked once. Then again when no answer greeted him. Frowning, James turned the handle and the door swung back from him, revealing the empty room.

Tentatively, James peered inside. The only occupants of the room were the furniture and some of Lily's clothing, which were draped on the edge of the bed. A pale white glow came from the opened window, coating the floor and stopping at James' feet. Just outside the window, on the balcony ledge, he could make out a body standing with her back toward him.

James took a steadying breath and moved through the room until he was at the window, then stepped over the sill and onto the landing.

Lily's back was still facing him. She was dressed in a dark brown dress with a tan bodice, an outfit borrowed from Liz. Her hair was pulled over one shoulder, her fingers idly playing with the strands.

Without even looking at her, James could picture the expression on her face; her eyes soft and almost glazed, revealing how immersed in her thoughts she was, her teeth probably gnawing on her the edge of her lower lip, and if her thoughts were disturbing enough - her nose would wrinkle. Not enough to be an unbecoming grimace, but so it was an endearing sign of her thoughts.

Slowly, James placed his hand on her shoulder. Startled, she jumped and half turned so quickly that he had to grip her arm hard to prevent Lily from tumbling over the rail and off the landing.

"James!" She blurted, half startled and half affronted.

He gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

Lily let out a huff of air, more to expel her surprise than her anger. "You…startled me."

James' smile stayed in place, but he relaxed his grip on her arm. With a quick glance he took in the view. The lights and sounds had become so familiar - like he had never left.

"What were you thinking about?" He prodded as he turned with her to face the city.

Lily glanced at him quickly, then looked away. "Everything." She shrugged.

James glanced over his shoulder at her, being sidetracked for a moment by how the borrowed dress made her look - thin waist, shapely hips and chest…there were some things a shirt and breeches robbed one of…

"That's a lot to think about…" James replied, his serious tone only slightly teasing. "Anything more specific?"

Lily held her silence for a moment, then looked at him with never-fading green eyes. "You." It was James' turn to look startled, but before he could respond, Lily continued. "Sirius. Remus. Liz. This place." She waved her hand toward the town. "And everything that happened here."

James stiffened ever so slightly.

"You outwitted dons and captains, sailed the seas, had adventures - granted not entirely _legal_ adventures, but still adventures." Lily's voice held no anger, only thoughtfulness. "And there was another pirate ship…one you left - though Liz only briefly mentioned it." James had a nervous inkling that that topic would be breached again. "You laughed. Fought. Tricked. And I think you even cried…" Lily added, her voice barely above a whisper as she remembered how Liz would trail off at the end of some stories, a pained expression in her eyes.

James studied her with a slight frown on his lips. Liz had obviously told Lily of many of his experiences - as well as Remus' and Sirius'. Or perhaps Lily had asked. If that was the case - why had she done it? Why did she care so much about what had happened in prior years?

It was as if she knew his thoughts. "There are so many memories - years worth." A sheepish smile crossed her lips. "You always hide your past - like it's a disease - and I was finally thrust into it so I could…_see_ it. But I knew it wasn't the same, hearing it from Liz, as it would've been hearing it from you…"

James turned his head away before she could catch his eyes. His brow wrinkled, revealing his discomfort. She'd compared his past to a disease - which he believed it was. Not all of it, surely. But a good many years spent on one pirate ship or another led to him having memories he knew were best hidden deep away.

It was one thing James liked about pirates - that all one had to do was give a name. After that no one on the crew cared what you did, where you came from, or who you were before you joined the crew.

With Lily it was different. She _wanted_ to know all that he'd done. She wanted to know who he was - present and past.

But what would happen when she didn't like what she heard?

Lily looked over at him, and couldn't ignore the hurt feeling when he didn't say anything, when he purposefully turned away. She ducked her head, staring at her hands clasped on the rail. "Is it really all that terrible…" _to hide it from someone you love? _she finished silently.

James stomach twisted uncomfortably and he glanced across his shoulder to look at her slightly flushed face. "Why do you want to know…it's in the past." What a hypocrite to use that kind of logic, he thought to himself.

Lily's eyes met his. "Because it's _important_." She told him forcefully. James blinked at her. Letting out a harsh breath she turned to fully face him. "I want to know why you are what you are! Why you're a good man who was a pirate. I know that's _what_ you were, but I don't know _why_!"

James didn't answer, choosing instead to avoid her eyes

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she stalked a couple steps away from him, to the window, where she stopped, catching herself on the frame. Then she turned and looked back at him.

"You once told me that you begin trusting people by trusting them with the little things - your gold, your knife, your rum. And _then_ you trust them with your past." Her eyes begged him as she spoke. "I've proven myself trustworthy with the first three. So _trust_ me with your past."

She turned to go through the open window, but James reached out and caught her arm, pulling her up against his chest despite her startled yelp. His hazel eyes bore into her as he debated within himself.

On one hand she was right - she deserved to know. But on the other, that inner fear still lurked. She was so convinced he was a good man - but beliefs like that could change given the right information. He wasn't confident enough to trust _himself_ with letting go of those memories.

But she deserved something. "I'm sorry." He murmured to her. She didn't speak, as if waiting for him to go on and James licked his lips to stall for time. "I understand…but…" He didn't want to lie. He didn't want to promise anything he couldn't give her in this moment either. "Take a walk with me tomorrow." He said abruptly and Lily's eyebrows jumped upward.

"What?"

"Walk with me tomorrow…here around the town." He would've gestured to illustrate his point, but his arms were currently holding her up against him and he wasn't giving her an escape route yet.

Her eyes narrowed warily. "Why?"

"Because…" He formulated the idea in his mind. "You wanted to see the town from my perspective…I'll show you. Better - I'll _tell _you." He offered slowly.

Lily blinked at him. "What about…the repairs?"

"The men can handle those…I thought you wanted this?" He asked suddenly, frowning at her.

"I do….but you didn't." She reminded him and herself, no matter how much the latter part stung.

James chose his words carefully. "I trust you." He said slowly, watching as her eyes brightened ever so slightly at the heavy words. "With my life, you know that. But…" He faltered slightly. "There are things, Lily, I don't want you to know…things if I could help it I'd erase from my own memory…my own past." The brightness faded, but James didn't stop. "But…I will tell you some things." He decided softly, promising those small stories of innocence and foolishness in her ear, while burying the darker stories deeper in his heart.

Lily knew a compromise when she heard it. She could also hear the reserve with which James spoke this promise in her ear. Well, she decided slowly, if all I could hear was one story from him - it would be better than never hearing that story at all.

"You promise?" She inquired, placing her hands on his chest and tilting her head to fix him with a green-orbed gaze.

"Promise." He agreed, seeing with relief the content smile that was pulling at the corners of her mouth. He leaned down and brushed his lips along her cheek in a soft kiss and then pulled her more tightly up against him as he rested his chin on her head. Lily buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent and feeling it calm her tense muscles and release her unease.

Any story he would give, she comforted herself, any part of his secret past revealed, would be wholly worth any pains she took to pry it from his lips.

--

Sirius rolled over on his back, studying the cracks along the ceiling; his bare chest rising and falling with each content breath. As the silence in the room lengthened he turned his head on the pillow - adjusting his gaze to the woman lying beside him, who had propped her head up with one arm and was watching him closely.

"What?" he inquired slowly.

Liz dropped her eyes for a moment then looked back up with a small smile. Then shook her head.

Sirius studied her, then reached up and caught one of the dark locks of hair that had fallen over her shoulder. He twirled it with his fingers, then gently tucked it behind her ear. Leaning up, he kissed her slowly on the lips, lingering on the corner of her mouth, then pressing his nose to the crook where her jaw met her throat. Inhaling slowly he caught the scent of herbs and spices from the kitchen, the aroma of wood that had been used in the repairs, and then, beneath all the other scents, the one he was looking for - the salty scent of a sea breeze. Sirius exhaled softly, tickling her skin with his sigh. It was the most beautiful scent on her - and she didn't even know it was there.

Pulling away, Sirius found Liz was still watching him silently. He made a face at her and flopped back on his pillow. "I'm not going anywhere, Liz. You can stop looking at me as though I'm about to disappear."

Her forehead creased in agitation at his words. In truth she had been wondering how long the visit would continue. _The Marauder_'s repairs were all but finished, and when they were fully complete she knew they wouldn't linger. She was irritated, though, that her thoughts had been so obvious on her face.

"I know that." She replied, tucking the blanket under her arms. Sirius snorted, but didn't say anything more. Liz was also quiet for a long moment. "When _are_ you leaving?" She asked finally, dreading the answer.

"A couple days, I figure." Sirius replied, as nonchalant as ever. He stretched his arms and with a long groan, slipped one arm around her waist to pull her up against his side. "There is still repair work to do. I suppose we could do what's left while on the sea - but it's easier here."

Liz ran her fingers along the scar on Sirius' abdomen, choosing to greet his response with silence.

Sirius glanced down at the top of her head, then took a long breath finally speaking the familiar words, and at the same time shying away at their inevitable answer. "You could come with us."

He felt her stiffen against him, her fingers stopping. Since those many years ago when her parents had been lost at sea, nothing could make Liz get on a ship and venture out onto the sea. She loathed the water with it's sea wind and sea storms. Sirius knew it - but he also knew he had to ask. Simply being at the harbor, working on _the Marauder_, had given her that sea scent - he could only imagine that aroma clinging to her if she would stand on the deck of _the Marauder_ with him - out on the open sea.

"You could stay here." Her breath tickled his skin as she spoke with a resigned air - the same one he had. Each knowing the response of the other before the question was asked.

Sirius would've denied the hint of disappointment that caused him to turn his face away from her. Why did she have to be so damned scared, he thought bitterly.

Look who's talking, a small voice reprimanded him.

Liz buried her face against his side, trying to ignore the ache in her chest when silence greeted her request. She was no fool - she'd expected it, but it would be been nice if once…just once…

She fisted her hand on Sirius' stomach and sat up enough to look directly down into his face. Startled, Sirius stared back into her eyes, which glowed with a myriad of emotions - each one so powerful that part of him wanted to flea from the room. A smaller part of him, one he didn't quite understand, held him there.

Liz held his gaze for a long, silent moment. Her lips felt swollen and her tongue moved like molasses in her mouth. "I missed you." She finally whispered the words that replaced the unspoken ones she died to convey to him.

Sirius blinked, then with a soft, calming smile, reached up to pull her face down to meet his lips. Liz closed her eyes against the touch, the ache in her chest ever present as she gave into the kiss.

--

Standing on the street, looking up at the pub, Remus felt his mouth growing steadily drier. Light poured from the windows into the streets, as did the music and voices from the men and women inside; urging all those from the street into the smoky building.

He'd somehow built up the courage to do as Liz had suggested…his feet leading him from the inn to the pub shortly after dinner. And now he stood, mere feet away, and yet he couldn't bring himself to make another step. Part of him yearned to, and part of him shied away at the thought of another blatant reminder that Dora was gone.

A man from the street shoved into his shoulder on his way to the door of the pub. Remus stumbled a step with a grunt.

The man turned and looked back at him, a sneer mauling his features. "Get out of my way, boy."

Anger rose up in the pit of Remus' stomach as a flush entered his pale cheeks. Grinding his teeth together he waited until the man had long disappeared into the pub before stepping toward the door himself. Anger overriding his previous fears as he wrenched open the door and stepped into the large room.

It hadn't changed much in six years. The room was still filled to bursting with oddly shaped tables, and those tables were full of men, both young and old, in all levels of drunken stupor, with wenches surrounding them.

The wenches. It wasn't hard to pick out their peels of laughter, fake or warranted, Remus wasn't sure, or their painted faces among the blandness of the sailors and pirates. He saw all types of skin, all shades of eye color, and all varieties of hair. But none as blonde as his memory clung to.

Letting out a pent-up breath, Remus kept close to the wall as he made his way around the room. Rum splashed, men threatened, and women shrieked with glee. The music in the corner that drifted from an out of tune piano made Remus wince.

He finally came to an empty table, far from much of the commotion but still in a position where he could see much of what was going on in the pub. He sat down in the wooden chair and let his eyes wander.

There was a long bar up against one wall, behind which the pubmaster hid himself, dishing out drinks and insults when the mood hit him. Remus' lip curled as he watched the aging man reach out to strike one of the wenches who paused to long at the bar. She evaded the swipe but it still sent a painful anger creeping up Remus' skin. He held his place though - it wouldn't do to get himself into a fight here, all alone without either Sirius or James to back him up.

He turned his eyes away, pausing slightly to look at the shadowed staircase near the bar. He averted his eyes much more quickly than he had from the pubmaster, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

There was nothing out of the ordinary about the pub tonight. As loud and boisterous as ever, and not a single familiar face.

Well that wasn't entirely true, Remus amended as he scanned the crowd. He picked out a handful of _the Marauder_ crew in one corner. James wasn't one to disparage their fun, especially after having worked so hard for so many days on the ship repairs. As long as they all showed up the next morning to work on the ship, they could spend the rest of their time anywhere they wanted to.

Remus let out a long breath, resuming his watching of the crowd. The minutes ticked into hours and slowly the more boisterous crowd dwindled out, either up the shadowed staircase or out into the street. Many of the wenches disappeared too, and the piano could finally be heard in all it's horrific glory over the murmurs of the crowd.

He leaned back into his chair, pulling from his coat pocket the necklace. His thumb traced the etched surface as it had so many times since recovering it. His light eyes were so engrossed in looking at the necklace that he didn't notice the wench who sat down across from him until she spoke.

"You planning on doing anything but moping tonight?"

Remus looked up startled. The woman wasn't young, she was probably a year or so his senior, but she was still pretty. Her black hair was falling in curls from her loose bun. Her clothes were big on her, so that the sleeves billowed at the ends and her collar dropped dangerously low. Remus kept his eyes determinedly on her face. Her lip quirked slightly.

"I was hardly moping." He rebutted calmly, his voice completely neutral, implying nothing.

The woman smiled at him and shook her head. "Most men come here for a drink and a woman…not for a quiet place to think."

Remus stared back at her silently. I wasn't thinking, he replied silently, I was watching, waiting, looking. But even that brought nothing to fruition.

"You want a drink?" She asked.

He shook his head, a sharp turn to either side. Why wouldn't she just leave him alone?

She let out a sigh. "Suit yourself, then."

Remus leaned his elbows on the table, looking at the necklace with a quirk of his lips. Dora would've never let him get off that easy. She would've pestered him until he took her up on her offer - whether that was a drink or a listening ear. But she most certainly wouldn't have been as easily put off as this woman.

The woman had been preparing to stand, but as she glanced down she stopped. "That's a nice necklace." She complimented, standing at the edge of the table.

Remus grunted in recognition of the compliment, but didn't raise his eyes.

"Look's familiar though…" She began.

"It's one of a kind." Remus bit out abruptly, pride entering his voice.

The woman ignored him. "I don't think so -"

"Trust me it is." Remus interrupted, finally raising his eyes to meet her gaze. Hers was thoughtful while his was burning.

In a sudden quick movement she pulled the necklace from his grasp. Remus jerked to his feet an angry phrase on his tongue as she nodded at the necklace. Her next words caught him completely off guard.

"I _have_ seen this before…I knew I had."

The words froze on his lips. "You…couldn't have." He almost croaked the words. "There's only one…I should know I made it myself."

The woman looked up at him and blinked, then glanced down at the necklace again. "You made it? Huh…"

Remus stared at her. "What did you mean…you've seen it before?" his voice was cautious and agitated at the same time.

"There was a girl." The woman said. "I noticed it on her the first time she was here - I even complimented her on it. She got this sad look on her face when I did, poor kid.."

A girl. Remus couldn't stop the hope that blossomed in his stomach at the thought that maybe…just maybe…

"A girl…" He said, his voice urging her to go on.

She nodded her head. "Yeah…young and pretty. Blue eyes - " Remus' heart skipped "- and red hair." And stopped.

"Red?" He asked, his voice barely a hiss as his heart dropped even further. Perhaps she was just mistaken about the necklace. He went to snatch it back but she held it away from him.

"The first time."

Remus frowned.

"The first time she came in she had this really red hair. She came in again a few months later with this long brown hair. Every time she came in here she looked different. I wouldn't have known it was her except that she was wearing the same necklace. And when I'd asked about it the first time, she said the same thing you did - that it was 'one of a kind'."

All hope was not lost then, Remus thought frantically as his stomach began to flutter again. Perhaps Dora had changed her hair…to avoid detection? Whatever the reason, it didn't matter if Dora was in fact alive!

"Are you sure it was the same girl?"

The woman gave him a slightly affronted look, dropping the necklace back on the table with a loud clunk to show her irritation. "I've got two eyes." She told him. "I know what I saw." Then she turned to walk away.

Remus reached out and grabbed her arm. "Wait." He begged. Surprise flickered across the woman's face as she looked back at him. "This…this girl…did she have a name?"

The woman shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know…I never asked and I don't think she would've told me if I had. Or they wouldn't have let her…"

They? Remus wondered internally. "They?" He inquired.

"She was always with the same group, a few pirates." A frown creased her forehead and she pulled her arm from his grip. "Why are you so curious?" She demanded.

Remus ignored her look and biting his lip. If it was Dora…and there was no guarantee it was but if she'd had the necklace…

It _had_ to be her, Remus thought abruptly. Which meant that not only was she alive - after all these years _alive_! - but she was also in trouble.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Remus asked, ignoring the woman's question.

The woman's frown deepened for a moment, and she looked as if she was about to refuse. "I'm only guessing." She said slowly, warily. "Her hair was different, it always is. And she didn't have that." The woman pointed to the necklace that was still resting on the table near Remus' hand. "But I knew it was her…she had the same eyes…"

"But when?" This answer was more important than anything. Two years gone could mean she was dead, while two days…

The woman looked up at him, studying his eyes as though she was searching for something to calm the internal questions she was beginning to form herself. Remus felt her reading him and tried to convey everything in his gaze that was locked with hers. The years of searching and heartache, the pain and fear, the guilt and self-loathing. Finally her face smoothed in decision.

"Three weeks ago. She was sitting right where you were."

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:) Please review :)


	8. Sail with the Wind

**A/N: I don't even want to think of the number of people that hate me for not updating sooner - or the number of months it's been since I updated. I apologize for the ridiculously long wait. College and just life in general has been very hectic. As well as there were certain parts of this chapter that were rewritten about 10 times so they'd be right. So here it finally is - and early Christmas present for you all. I hope it's worth the wait and you enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I own Liz, Cook, Ribb's treasure and the storyline. Anything Harry Potter related I don't own.

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Chapter 7: Sail with the Wind

Lily paced in front of the doorway from the tenth time, glancing up to stare at the silent door for a long moment. Then she continued along the path she had worn into the wooden planks of the floor, arms crossed and brow furrowed.

Letting out a quiet breath, Liz, who was sitting on the table closest to the door of the kitchen, pushed a lock of hair over her shoulder. It had been a good hour since Remus had come back to the inn in a rush, brimming with news. News about Dora; at least that was what Liz had heard him frantically whisper to Sirius after he'd burst into her room, a memory that made Liz's cheeks warm.

But though she managed to hide it better, Liz's curiosity was as nagging as Lily's. Ever since the three men had barricaded themselves in the kitchen without so much as a word of explanation to either woman, they had been sitting out here. And it was starting to wear on her patience. Fisting her hands in her hastily thrown on robe, Liz searched her mind for any reason for Remus' sudden revelation.

Lily had again paused in front of the door, leaning forward just enough to press her fingers to the wood, as if such contact would enable her to hear what was being said on the other side. Noticing her movement, Liz felt her lip curl into a small smile.

"Eavesdropping won't get you anywhere." She said slowly. Lily jumped, then turned to look at her.

"What?"

"Eavesdropping…it won't help. In fact it will probably only frustrate you more." Liz pointed out, giving her a wane smile. "Believe me...I've tried before."

Lily glanced at the door with a forlorn look, then back at Liz. "What are they talking about?" She wondered aloud, frustration making her voice pitch.

Liz let out a long sigh. "Remus said something about Dora." Liz recounted slowly. Standing up from the table she shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe he finally found a clue to where she disappeared to."

Lily's head turned and a confused gaze lingered on her face. "Dora." She said slowly, as if weighing the name on her lips. "Who's Dora?"

Liz froze, her gaze fixed on the now even more curious redhead as she realized too late her mistake.

Lily's eyebrows dipped down slightly as Liz held her silence with a look of both anger and panic crossing her face. Dora. The name of a woman. She was astute enough to gather that whatever James was talking about had to do with this woman. Lily glanced over her shoulder at the door again with renewed suspicion. He'd never once mentioned a woman named Dora – granted he'd never mentioned Liz either. But if news of Dora was enough to send the three men into a plotting hideaway, then she was obviously important. Lily felt a familiar prickling irritation at another bit of information that had been denied her.

Liz caught the look on Lily's face in the moment after she'd caught her own mistake. The decision was obvious - she would let James be the one to explain Dora's story, as it was only right for him or Remus to do it anyway. But how was she going to keep Lily from burst into the room right now and demanding answers, as the redhead looked poised to do.

Catching Lily's arm, Liz pulled the younger woman's attention away from the door and back to her. "A friend." She replied simply, her eyes giving away the fact that Dora had been much more than a friend.

Lily frowned. "Who - "

"James has to tell you." Liz's voice was final and it made Lily's lips tighten. "And he will...but you have to get the story from him, Lily. It's not my place to tell you their secrets."

I should accept that, Lily scolded herself. But she couldn't always feel as though her trust was being doubted. If it was, then what was she doing here? Having jumped from her father to James, what was the point of it all if he never trusted her enough to tell her the important things? She just could not accept Liz's promise that easily, shaking her head sharply in refusal.

"Come on." Liz pulled on her arm, trying to ignore the stormy look that was clouding the younger woman's face. She pulled on her again, attempting to lead the redhead away from her thoughts and the door. "It can wait until morning." Even the innkeeper heard the lie in her own words. But Lily did not protest, nor did she make another move toward the door. Instead allowing Liz to lead her from the room, all the while silently running through all the curses she would spew when she finally confronted James.

-----------

James stared down at the necklace lying on the table. He remembered years ago Remus carving into a white piece of ivory he'd managed to acquire. Until the candle had burned down the wax, Remus had carved into it, and the following morning had shown his work to James.

_"I'm going to give it to Dora." Remus said, shifting from one foot to the other as James ran his fingers over the carved necklace. "You think she'll…like it?"_

_Pale gray eyes begged him to answer in the affirmative. James gave Remus a smile as he pressed the necklace into his friend's palm. "I think…she'll love it."_

Blinking, James looked up at Remus who was pacing around the corners of the room, his mind clearly a whirlwind of thoughts. "Are you sure the she was telling the truth?"

Remus nodded quickly. "James I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life." The second mate turned to face him, eyes flashing with a myriad of emotion. "She wasn't lying…she was surprised, and a little wary, but she wasn't lying."

Grey eyes burned as Remus continued, his face flushing more with each word. "The pirate must have taken the necklace from Dora sometime before going to maraud the ship. Dora would never have parted with the necklace willingly – she told me so herself!"

"Six years ago." Sirius put in from the stool he was perched on. James sent him a warning look and the first mate shook his head, averting his gaze just as Remus turned toward him.

"Say the pirate took it from her." James intervened before Remus could lose his temper. "And say the wench is telling the truth…"

"Just because she's a wench, you shouldn't assume her words are lies." Remus said quickly. James' forehead creased and he opened his mouth but Sirius beat him to it.

"Just because you fell in love with a wench doesn't mean they're all good souls." Sirius put in, his eyes slanting toward them. With a growl Remus whirled on the dark-haired man.

"Sirius!" James barked. He paused long enough to ensure the growl in Remus' throat stayed there, then continued. "Suppose that is all true…what is the guarantee that Dora is alive?"

"Dora wasn't on the burning ship – she couldn't have been because she was here less than three weeks ago. James - "

"I mean since three weeks ago."

The comment was like a stake driven into Remus' heart, but he knew that he had to answer it. "There isn't one." He breathed out, watching James' face shift.

"Then what are you asking us to do?" Sirius demanded, facing Remus.

Remus looked back at him, fighting his rising temper at Sirius' crude words. "Look for her…help me look for her."

Sirius let out an angry snort, shaking his head. "Look for what, Remus? A body? A clue? It's been six years…we looked -"

"We didn't look hard enough!" Remus interrupted, fists balled at his side.

"How do you even know she's alive?!" Sirius bit back. "She could be dead - or worse she could be with people who would want _us_ dead for interfering!" James frowned at the comment and Sirius pressed on. "Have you considered there had to be a good reason for her to be alive and _not_ come looking for you? Those pirates she was with - how do you think they'll take to people snooping around trying to steal their wench back!"

"Don't call her that!" Remus growled stepping up to Sirius, who stood up and bumped his chest back against Remus'.

"Remus, calm down. Sirius, sit down and be quiet!" James ordered, getting to his own feet as his eyes darted between the two riled men.

Sirius eyed Remus with cold eyes. "You want us to go looking for her - but you don't know the first place to look!"

Remus grabbed the front of Sirius' shirt and shoved his friend against the wall, making the stool clatter to the ground. "What is your problem?!" He ground out, furious.

Sirius reached up and shoved Remus' hands away. "You have no idea where she is, if she's alive, how much she's changed, or if she even still loves you!" Sirius bit back forcefully as James froze halfway around the table. Sirius tightened his grip on Remus' wrist as the second-mate's hand threatened to claw at his face with the anger visible in Remus' eyes.

"All you know is the necklace you carved for her _six years ago_ was found in the hands of a dead pirate – and that a girl wearing a similar necklace came back to the pub Dora lived at."

"There are no _similar _necklaces!" Remus snarled with pride, his hand twisting in Sirius' grip.

Sirius threw him off and as Remus stumbled back a step he continued with as much bitterness as he had before. "Different hair, different acquaintances, and never gave her name. Before you ask us to scour every inch of the ocean for the one you love, consider the fact that we might never find her. And if we do – it may not be the her you want!"

"Sirius, enough." James' command was soft as he eyed Remus, who's shoulders had sagged during Sirius' words. The eyes seemed hollow, devoid of any emotion. James swallowed painfully. Sirius' words, as harsh as they were, held some truth. There were more factors to be taken in than the necklace and the wen- the woman's word.

Sirius turned away from Remus, his eyes staring down at the glowing coals that lingered in the fireplace. His own hands were shaking.

"Remus..." James began slowly.

"I gave up." Remus breathed to the floor and Sirius glanced at him with a slightly ashamed grimace across his face, then turned away again. "I gave up on her… I stopped looking…" He looked up at James with watery eyes. "I stopped looking…for _you_ I stopped. So that we could…we could be pirates, live off the sea, have a _life_."

Remus shook his head abruptly. "I looked for your treasure…I ran with you from Riddle…I stood beside you to fight…" He met James' eyes again. "Please James…"

Guilt rolled around in the captain's stomach. Remus had always followed him, never faltering even when it came to a fight to the death. Couldn't he at least give Remus what he wanted now? Even if it was only to find the girl dead?

James looked over at Sirius who had turned his back. He could see the emotions warring across the first-mate's face. This was his decision and James knew they would follow it no matter what it was. It was the resulting scars from such a decision that made James' chest tighten with the responsibility.

Slowly James let out a long breath. "Where would we start?" He asked, guardedly so that Remus and Sirius both knew he hadn't yet made the decision.

"The woman said she'd heard the ship sailed north after leaving the port. The next port up would be a valid place to start - and then from there northward. We might be able to find clues there about the pirates who have her."

With a set jaw James looked between his two friends, then down at the table. The necklace glaring back decided for him. It was the smallest of nods but both Sirius and Remus saw it.

"Remus get to the ship and tell the men." A twinge of guilt at a promise about to be broken tugged at the back of James' gut, but he pushed it away in favor meeting his friends' gaze. "We'll be shipping out in the morning."

-----------

"He believes he can find her?" Liz questioned, verifying what Sirius had just told her, while ignoring what that would mean. Sirius himself was currently pacing her room, a frown etched across his brow. Remus had retired to the ship; James had went to Lily but found her in a troubled sleep and had chosen to follow Remus lead. Liz hadn't missed the guilty look on his face when she'd met his eyes just before he'd left, either.

"Yes – he believes it!" Sirius repeated, adding a sarcastic edge to his words.

Liz followed him with her eyes. "And you don't?" She assumed.

"No!" He balked at her, then deflated. "Yes...I don't know." He sat down hard on the bed next to her, frowning at his hands.

"The odds of finding her – never mind alive – are next to impossible." Sirius continued. "We don't even know where to start looking. We're chickens with our bloody heads cut off!"

Liz watched him run his fingers frustratingly through his hair.

"Finding Ribb's treasure would have been next to impossible." Liz pointed out slowly. Sirius glanced over at her. "But you looked for it for almost six years."

"That's different." Sirius defended.

"How?" Liz demanded, turning to face him on the bed. "How is looking for a treasure that you loved and would've died to find, different from Remus wanting to find the woman he loves or die trying?"

"They're not the same Liz!" Sirius surged off the bed to resume his pacing. Liz bit her tongue as he paused at the window, looking out onto the eerily quiet town. "They're not the same..." He mumbled to himself.

Liz waited as the storm brewed within Sirius. The silence stretched out for so long that she almost jumped when he spoke again. "Can you imagine what would happen to him if he saw her dead?" He whispered to himself, his voice straining. "Or if she didn't want him..."

"Dora would always want Remus. She loved him." Liz countered as softly as Sirius.

"Six years ago." Was his answer as he leaned on the window frame, his breath fogging the glass. "Feelings change."

His words felt like a punch to Liz's stomach. Feelings change? "Not feelings that strong." She informed him with ice in her voice. Feelings that strong did not change, they did not lessen, and they did not stop. No matter how much pain those feelings caused.

Sirius didn't look at her as he continued to stare out the window. "Maybe." The doubt in his voice spoke volumes.

Liz stood up, her fists clenching silently at her sides. "What is wrong with you? He's your friend – shouldn't you be jumping at the chance to help him?"

"Not when it could cost him his life."

"What life has he had without her?"

Sirius turned and stared back at her with burning eyes. "As good as any pirate has had."

"You have all almost died countless times – and he's been without the woman he loves for six years – never knowing if she's actually dead or alive!" Liz fumed at him.

"He had me and James."

Liz's eyes narrowed. "And now James has Lily."

Sirius stiffened as the unsaid accusation reverberated back in his ears. "You think I'm jealous?" He demanded. "Of James and Lily?"

"I think you don't want to lose your other friend."

Sirius let out a bark of bitter laughter. "Lose another friend to what?"

"To love."

Sirius flinched at the word, but it was so slight that only if one had been looking for it could they have seen it. Liz had been looking for it.

"If that was true," Sirius began with a hiss. "Then I lost him over six years ago when he first met Dora."

"You never had the chance to lose him then. All three of you were running from the English, bound to a pirate ship." Liz informed him flatly. "But if you find her now, you will lose him – and you don't want to be the only one left alone." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and Sirius' eyes flashed with the challenge.

"Left alone? I have an entire crew of bachelors. I have wenches in any port I want." Sirius bit out furiously. "And I have you." He added.

Liz's heart clenched. "You have a deal, Sirius." She rebuked softly, ignoring the hurt that had enveloped her at being named as a physical reprieve from his loneliness – right next to the wenches and ex-pirates.

Sirius took a sharp breath as he took in her words. A deal. He had a deal to have any wench in any port, and her in this one. He had a deal – an agreement – a handshake – a contract. A factual, unemotional decision. That's what he had. Ignoring the bile that churned in his stomach at that thought, he turned his gaze hard.

"I am not jealous." He rebutted. "I'm worried we're going to get ourselves into more trouble than we bargained for – and this time there won't be any Duke to save our asses."

"You're scared." Liz challenged, speaking of more than just his recent words.

"I'm _terrified_." He corrected, stepping up to her. "What fool wouldn't be?"

Liz held her silence watching as his eyes burned and turned to dark ash. His shoulders shook with too much contained emotion and Liz turned her gaze away, though she didn't leave. When Sirius finally spoke again, it was so soft that she could barely hear it.

"But he's....my friend."

Liz looked up at him again, meeting eyes that showed anger melting away to cold resolution at his words. As terrified as he was, Liz realized, he would follow James and he'd help Remus, for that simple fact. And if he was left alone at the end, he wouldn't admit it.

Sirius let out a long breath, affirming the unsaid fact. "I don't agree with it..." He said slowly, his eyes holding her even though he was a foot away. "I think it's a mistake...we don't know what we're doing or who we're about to go up against. That's not only stupid – it's practically a death sentence. But," His voice wavered for a moment. "I can't let them go into it alone"

He'd put on a smile, pull out his sword, and fight with every last breath to find Dora, just for Remus' sake. Even with the anger he'd displayed earlier in the kitchen, even with the crude phrases he'd used, he go along with it and fight with every last breath – or die trying.

----------------

The gravel under James' boots was the only noise through the silent streets of the town. The overcoat he'd borrowed from Liz hid bunched shoulders and balled fists as the chill air cut across his face. His eyes watered at the numbness, but it was all secondary to the thoughts swirling in his head.

He wanted to believe Remus, he truly did. He wanted to be able to believe that Dora was out there – and that they could, and would, find her. But a sickening doubt was playing painfully at his heart. What if Sirius was right?

James felt his feet stop and he looked up to the glowing windows of the pub. Unlike Remus he felt no pull drawing him back into the wooden walled past. Instead the past ambushed him on the street, a barrage of memories he'd never whisper aloud if he could help it, and a handful more that he wished he could speak – just so he wouldn't be the only one who knew them.

Turning abruptly he showed the pub his back as he followed his footprints back to the inn.

-----------------

"Here, Cook should appreciate these." Liz said as she handed Lily a large basket of bread she'd carried from the inn.

_The Marauder_ creaked near them as they stood on the rickety dock. The skies were gray with morning gloom, reflecting the mood of most everyone on the dock – the men who weren't so keen as to leave the comforts of port too soon; Remus who was edgy, all the time fiddling with something in his pocket; Sirius who kept giving Remus guilty glances and giving Liz unsure ones; and James who stood with them, obviously trying to avoid any eye contact with Lily, who looked as though questions were about to burst from her lips. Liz herself felt the gloom like a familiar shawl that she would set aside for a few days, and then don once again.

"I'll take them." James pulled the basket from Lily and gave Liz a swift, one armed hug and a farewell smile. "Thank you."

"Be careful." Liz told his back as he turned and disappeared up the boarding plank to _the Marauder's_ deck. Remus followed after giving Liz a silent, tight hug of his own.

Liz turned back to Lily who was watching James leave with a frown. Reaching out, Liz placed a hand on Lily's shoulder to bring the redhead's focus back to her. "Ask him." She advised.

Lily looked doubtful. "He won't tell me." She said with resigned breath.

Liz glanced over at Sirius who was watching them with keen eyes. "Maybe he will...you might just have to push him."

Lily watched the older woman with a faint longing to understand the hidden meaning in the words she'd just spoken. "Maybe..."

The doubt in her words pulled Liz's gaze back to her. "Everyone has secrets, Lily. And sometimes they try to keep those secrets to keep us safe." How many secrets had she kept to do just that? Out of the corner of her eye Liz caught Sirius shift and she wondered what more she should have kept secret.

"That doesn't mean they should." Lily responded, but she held back her anger and irritation, even as she played with the idea in her mind. She knew Liz was right. There were many times where James had not told her something for her benefit – not telling her he was leaving her in port was an attempt to protect her from the attack he knew was coming. Not telling her about leaving the Key in her control was all along with the idea of keeping her safe. But what he didn't realize, Lily decided, was that she didn't need to be kept safe.

Liz let out a resigned breath, then squeezed Lily's shoulder and dropped her arm. "Safe journey, Lily." She said with a soft smile.

Lily returned it with a small smile with one of her own, then reached out and gave the older woman a fleeting hug. She'd never had a female companion besides her cousins, and never in all the past months had she so much as seen a friendly female face. Liz, for all that she knew things Lily never would and for all that they were too different women, had become a friend in the past few weeks.

Liz looked startled for a moment, then returned the hug with a quick squeeze as Lily pulled away.

"Be careful." Lily said in farewell.

Liz gave her a wry smile. "Lily, I've been left here by myself countless times. I'll be fine."

Something in the way she responded made Lily glance over at the only member of the crew not on board, and then back to Liz. With a nod she turned and left Liz and Sirius standing on the dock.

Liz felt her chest clench as she turned to face the man who stood barely a couple feet away. She pulled a smile on her tight lips and put her hands on her hips. "Your turn."

Sirius stepped up to her, so close she had to look straight up to look into his face. Opening her mouth to speak, her words were cut off when Sirius pulled on her hips and brought his mouth down on hers.

She almost lost herself in the kiss, enjoying the comfortable feeling the washed over her, discarding the gray gloom which dropped from her shoulders. Until reality emerged in her brain at the fact that this kiss – this wonderful kiss – was a goodbye that could be permanent. As every kiss could be.

Using her hands that had tightened in his shirt, Liz pushed Sirius away far enough that she was still in his embrace but his lips were off hers. Before she dropped her gaze she could see the flicker of hurt in his eyes that he masked with black shroud a second later.

"You be safe, too." She told him softly, the words felt hollow. Liz reached up and placed a hand on his cheek before she pulled out of his embrace and stepped away.

Sirius tried to ignore the ripple of pain that jolted in his chest as he felt her move out of his grip. Swallowing he gave her a smile. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll be fine. Always am." He tried to mimic the ease of her earlier comment to Lily.

Liz nodded and stepped back again.

"I'll be back...soon...couple weeks...months..." Sirius said, taking a sidestep to the boarding plank and wishing he could just kiss her instead of fumbling around pathetic words that were lies in disguise.

Liz gave a him a sad look, but nodded as though she accepted his answer. Then she turned and all but ran off the dock.

Sirius stood rigid as if he'd been slapped, watching her disappear into the streets of the mingling town.

"Goodbye, then." He let out the soft breath to the empty dock.

"Sirius!" The call came from the ship and he stumbled up the boarding plank onto the deck as _the Marauder_ pulled free from the dock and slowly coasted toward the open horizon.

* * *

**So what do you all think? I don't want you to think I'm trying to make Sirius to be the bad guy - but for once he needed to be the voice of reason. I also wanted to show that there is more to him than just blindly following Remus and James. He follows them because they are his friends, true, but he makes his decisions based on what's going to keep them safe, even if he does have a crude way of expressing it. Tell me what you all think. The next chapter is halfway done and hopefully it will be done before January, if not definitely in January you will get an update (maybe two). Please review. :) **

**Merry Christmas!**

**- heroofthecastleofmarble  
**

* * *


	9. Remus' Secret

**A/N: Yay look at me and my fast update ;) I worked on this one and the chapter following it for most of Christmas Break. They are quite long so be excited :) You all seemed to enjoy the last chapter so I hope you'll enjoy this one as well. Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: I own the plot-line, Liz, Cook, but I do not own any characters from the Harry Potter Universe.**

**And now I will not speak anymore so that you may read :)**

Chapter 8: Remus' Secret

James threw another pile of papers toward the middle of the room as he ran his hand along the book shelves, tossing several books over his shoulder as the frown on his brow deepened with worn patience. With a soft curse he shoved aside a few spare bits of parchment and began rifling through another shelf of bobbles. So absorbed was he in his search that he didn't hear the door open and close. He only realized that Lily stood in the middle of the room when a discarded parchment rolled to her feet.

James paused in his movement, watching as she bent and picked up the old wanted poster, so faded it was barely readable. Her eyes scanned the page and then let it rest in her fist as she turned her gaze back to him.

He let the silence linger, expecting Lily to break it herself. When all she did was watch him James felt an uneasy prickle up his neck. "Lily." He finally acknowledged. "Shouldn't you be helping Cook...cook." He wondered, turning back to the shelves.

"It's finished." He was surprised when her temper didn't immediately fly. "Everyone has eaten." She paused, letting the heavy silence weigh on James' shoulders before she continued, "I should say everyone but you."

James could hear the ice in her voice, but he didn't turn back to face her. Sweeping his gaze across another shelf he pulled out a book, thumbed through it, and dropped it on the floor before replying. "I'm not hungry."

Standing up he turned, facing her with an expressionless face. "I'm busy, too. So -"

"What are you doing?" She asked, cutting off his excuse before he could finish. Her tone sounded innocent enough, but it still caused James to frown slightly.

"Looking for something." He walked to his desk, rifling through some of the papers, letting several drift to the floor.

Lily watched him for a long moment. "I can see that."

James bit his tongue hard to keep the sarcastic reply, sowed by his lack of patience and surplus of stress, from sparking her simmering anger further. "I'm looking for a map." He explained distractedly.

His answer caused a slight twist of confusion to appear on her brow. "A map." She repeated as he let out a grumble of irritation. Moving toward his bed, James heaved a trunk from the corner and kicked open the lid, eying the contents with disappointment.

"It's a special map." He informed her, throwing a feathered hat out of the trunk, followed quickly by a long black coat. "Now if you - "

"You have many maps, James. What makes this one so special?" Lily asked slowly, cutting him off again.

James looked at her briefly. The look in her eye worried him It was like she was dangling a string in front of his nose, but at the same time distracting him with a brightly colored ball. He didn't know which one to jump for.

"It has a variety of ports marked...a course already mapped out that I need to...." James paused, choosing his words carefully. "Use again."

"To find something." Her tone sounded innocent but her stubbornness, combined with Remus' anxiety at finding Dora as soon as possible, coupled with the irritation at not finding the map, and not forgetting the obvious disapproval radiating from Sirius, was beginning to rub his senses raw. James ran a hand through his hair, standing the black strands on end.

"Are you looking for something in particular?" Lily continued, stepping over to him, watching as he cast his eyes over her head, mentally searching for the map in the discourse of his cabin.

"Yes." He answered shortly.

"Someone?"

James looked sharply down at her, but Lily's face was as smooth as polished stone. He had the uncomfortable feeling of someone sneaking up behind him, but he could do nothing to prevent it.

"You have someone in mind I should be looking for?" James countered swiftly.

Lily raised her chin ever so slightly. "Dora."

James felt his muscles instinctively stiffen at the name before he could stop himself. He hoped that Lily hadn't noticed, but it was a faint hope. Lily's eyes sharpened and James wondered whether he'd jumped for the ball or the string.

"Lily..."

"The answer should be yes. Liz implied it would be. You just now jumped like a spooked horse, implying the same thing." Lily observed, her fist tightening around the already crinkled wanted poster.

"If you know the answer, then why are you bothering to ask me?" James deterred, ignoring the sudden dryness in his mouth.

"I want to hear you admit it." Lily answered honestly, holding his gaze with her own.

Feeling as though a noose was slowly tightening around his neck, James swallowed hard, stepping around her to stand in the light emanating from the window. As much as he would've wanted to explain this another way, or not have to delve into it at all, James found himself answering.

"Yes."

Lily turned with him, watching as he braced his hands on the edge of his desk. "When were you planning on telling me?" She asked abruptly.

James turned to face her, his own eyes blazing at the sudden accusation. "What makes you think you were entitled to know?" He demanded brusquely.

"I'm a member of this crew." Lily pointed out, waving a hand toward the outside deck. "I work in the galley. I fight with this crew and I obey this crew's captain." James flinched slightly but Lily continued. "Was I expected to find out when she walked on board the ship, James?"

James felt his face warm with both embarrassment and anger. "It wasn't important."

"Ha!" Lily laughed bitterly. "It was important enough barricade yourself in a kitchen all night. It was important enough to scamper out of port in the early morning with the ship repairs not even done. It was even important enough to ignore your promise to me." She finished with heat.

His flinch was more obvious now, and James averted his eyes from her blazing gaze as his stomach twisted with guilt at her challenge. Her anger was fully justified in the last bit, he willingly agreed. He'd broken his promise to her. Not one promise really, but two. The walk was just the upper layer, the deeper promise had been his past. But the bit she was demanding right now....well it wasn't his to give, James decided determinedly.

"I can't tell you who she is." He answered her next question before it had left her lips.

Lily's eyes widened with indignation. "Can't or won't?"

Meeting her eyes with his own icy ones, Jame replied, "Both." Anger flashed in her eyes and James clenched his teeth. "It's not my place to tell you, Lily." He attempted, though that only explained why he couldn't tell her....not why he wouldn't.

"You're scared to tell me." Lily accused, throwing off the feigned calmness she had retained earlier, as well as effectively answering the 'wouldn't'. Ignoring James as he attempted a dodged explanation, she continued. "You are always scared to tell me anything that might give away your past."

James growled in the back of his throat, the lost map forgotten for the moment. "This has nothing to do with my past! Lily you wouldn't understand -"

"Wouldn't understand?" Lily countered, throwing the wanted poster at him in a crumpled paper ball. "I understand you think you're protecting me by trying to hide your deep, dark, pirate secrets. But I've got news for you, James Potter. I do _not_ need your protection! I am not a china doll that will break the moment you drop me! I can take care of myself! And you - you of all people should know that." Lily almost yelled. "I can handle whatever you're hiding from me."

"No you can't!" James told her sharply.

Lily inhaled slowly, trying to stop the heated flush on her cheeks. "If you expect me to help you find Dora, then you have to tell me who she is." She attempted to convince.

"I don't expect you to do anything but keep doing your job in the galley." James ordered without thinking. "Let me worry about everything else."

Let him worry....Lily let out an angry hiss. "You are pathetic."

James' anger finally snapped. "If you are so damned interested in who Dora is – go and ask Remus. It's him you should be asking anyway – not me! Not get out!"

The last phrase was both unexpected and louder than he'd intended. They froze Lily to her spot for a long, silent moment. Until the red flush of her cheeks revealed her anger as she whirled on her heel.

The slam of the door caused James to jerk slightly as the immediate guilt crept onto his shoulders. Dropping his gaze he found himself staring at the missing map sticking out of a black pot.

------------------

Sirius kept to the shadows as he walked, rather brooded, through the corridor below deck. The shadows, those darkened curtains draping the walls, reflected his mood more readily than the warm glow of the galley, or even the comfort of his hammock. What he needed was a good drink...or a good wench...

Or maybe just a good jump overboard. He hadn't ruled out that one yet.

Thoughts swirled through his mind, tumbling over one another like children eager for sweets. But it wasn't sweets they found, rather bitter hard candy too tough to chew, and two sticky to spit out and be rid of. Liz's words from the night before, as well as her quick departure from the docks earlier that day had him struggling to justify his words from almost a year ago.

And then there were the words he'd spoken just last night to his friend. A stab in the heart, or rather in the back, Sirius thought slightly bitterly. But he wouldn't take them back. Couldn't. For as horrible as they were, they were the truth.

As wrapped up in his thoughts as he was, Sirius didn't see Lily until he had almost run into her, and he only missed her because she managed to step out of the way and hit the wall before he skidded to a stop.

"Lily?" She grunted, pulling herself up from the wall. Grabbing her arm, Sirius helped steady her. "Lily, I'm sorry I didn't see...." He paused, looking down at her flushed face and...tears? Tears running down her face. Perhaps she had bonded more with Liz than he'd realized, Sirius thought frantically.

"Lily, are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Her tone was sharp and Sirius jumped as he realized that it didn't seem as though she was sobbing, or really sad. More...angry. Yes angry was definitely the word. And Sirius only knew of one man who could make Lily Evans truly angry.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd just come from having a row with our esteemed captain." Sirius prodded slightly.

Lily let out a short, slightly sniffling laugh. "You must not know any better."

At least her humor remains intact, Sirius thought blandly. "It's good to know I'm not the only one who can make members of this ship angry at me." He told her, reaching up and brushing a tear off her cheek. When she looked up at him with a surprised look, whether it was for his admission or his action, he gave her a small smile. "You....want to talk?"

It was a fairly lame suggestion, Sirius realized as Lily blinked at him. He was certainly not the talking type of person. He could joke about a situation, dance around the situation, and usually overcome a situation – but talk about one? He left that to Remus. But under normal circumstances he also left rational thinking to the second-mate.

Lily pinched her brow together as if in thought. "If I asked you about your past...would you tell me?" She asked abruptly.

Sirius blinked in surprise at her question. It certainly hadn't been the one he was expecting. "Um...why are you asking me that?"

"Because with James the answer is no." Lily informed him, crossing her arms and looking down angrily.

"Well...." Sirius racked his mind for the right answer. "I suppose it would depend...on what you were asking." He clarified as Lily raised her eyes to look at him sharply. "I'd be willing to tell you most anything...not that you'd be interested in most of it, I'm sure. But there are a few memories...." Sirius trailed off, thinking of one in particular. Shaking his head, he met her level gaze. "A few I'd rather take to the grave."

"Why?" Lily asked, wondering if he had a reason.

"Why?" Sirius repeated. I should definitely leave this talking thing to Remus, he decided. "Because it's not something I'm proud of. Rather, it's something I'd want no one else know."

"Would it truly matter?" Lily asked. Sirius tilted his head in question and she elaborated. "I mean, do you really think it would change how people look at you or care about you just because of one event?"

Gnawing on his lip, Sirius mulled her suggestion over in silence before slowly responding. "I don't know. Maybe not....but maybe I wouldn't want to risk it." He paused for a moment. "Maybe I wouldn't want to risk the chance that someone would love me less for what I did."

Lily stared at him with bright green eyes. "I wouldn't love him less."

Sirius studied her face, a genuine expression breaking through his tired mask. "I know you wouldn't." Lily's lips pulled into a weak impression of a smile. Sirius slipped past her, making his way up the corridor.

"Sirius." Lily stopped him with a soft call. "Do you...know where I might find Remus?"

Sirius eyed her carefully, then gave her a small nod. "Galley. Been there all afternoon." Something in the way he said that made Lily frown, but Sirius had turned and disappeared back into the shadows of the corridor, and Lily was left to turn to make her own way toward the warm beckoning light of the galley.

--------------

Remus was sitting at one of the tables in the galley when Lily found him. She watched from the doorway as he shuffled a deck of cards with absent minded fingers. The thick paper slapped each other, creating a thrumming noise as Remus shuffled and reshuffled the cards.

Lily moved from the doorway, reaching the table before Remus glanced up. He was halfway out of his seat before he spoke. "James wants to see me..."

The shake of her head caused a faint line of disappointment on his brow. He settled back in his seat as his eyes took in Lily again. A realization in the squareness of her shoulder and the determined edge in her eyes caused a ripple of unease in his stomach.

She sat down slowly, her face still flushed but her temper had simmered down from its normal flare of redhead temper. Slowly she took a breath and raised her eyes to meet his.

"Remus, who is Dora?"

Remus' hands froze and the cards fell through his shaking fingers to spread out on the table. He stared over at her with numb shock at the name that had fallen from her lips.

Lily's temper was exhausted, and while she was able to match James in any argument, she hadn't truly wanted to get into a row with James, and she most certainly did not want to get into a row with Remus now.

"James would not tell me who she is." Lily explained softly.

Remus held his silence as he absorbed her words. He briefly acknowledged the fact that he should probably be grateful of his friend's silence, but something in the way Lily's breath bated made him wonder how his friend had avoided her question.

"We're looking for her." Lily said slowly. "I know we are...but I want to know why..."

She didn't sound like she thought it was too much to ask, and in retrospect Remus decided it really wasn't. The ship she lived on was preparing to go in search of a girl she had never met before, putting not only the people she loved in danger but probably putting herself in danger as well. It was natural that she would want to know.

But in that moment, her question was the biggest thing she could have asked of him. It caused his throat to constrict and his breath shortened as he stared back at her.

"Remus..." Lily's voice was a plead and it caused him to finally blink.

"Dora..." He whispered the name, weighing it on his lips. He dropped his gaze to the table, then slowly reached into his pocket....and pulled out the necklace. Carefully, he set it on the table and with shaking fingers pushed it toward Lily.

Picking up the necklace, Lily ran her thumb along the smooth surface, tracing the design. She had the sudden awareness that this action had been done countless times by someone else and she felt mesmerized by the feeling of the ivory in her palm.

"Dora....Nymphdora Tonks..." Remus said slowly, eyes on the necklace instead of Lily's face. "Blond hair – no golden...." He amended faintly, as though speaking from a dream. "She could find anything to trip over, but she always smiled....a beautiful smile that made your heart swell just by looking at her...."

Lily raised her gaze and watched as Remus relived the memory of the woman he'd lost. "Loud sometimes....but in a good way....always had something to say....and her eyes....her blue eyes....like a combination of the brightest blues from the sky and sea..." He murmured softly, a sad look entering his own light eyes.

"You really loved her." Lily realized aloud.

Remus finally met her gaze. Then nodded with a sad smile on his lips. "Before I even knew her name."

Lily swallowed hard and Remus let out a long breath. "She was a wench....working at the pub in the port we just left..." Remus explained slowly. "We met her when we were on our first pirate ship...

"For over a year we returned to that port until we finally left the ship and stayed permanently. But that only lasted a couple weeks..." He paused, staring again at the necklace with an anxiousness Lily didn't understand.

"What happened?" She finally asked when the silence had stretched unbearably long.

Remus raised his gaze. What happened? The one night that had forever haunted him...and ripped his life apart and cast it out onto the sea like a ship with no compass. What had happened that awful night...

_The pub was a blend of sounds and smells, colors swirling before Remus' eyes. There were Royal Navy sailors too drunk to care that they were in the company of pirates; there were the pirates who were too relaxed to care if they were in the company of honest Englishmen; there were the wenches who crooned over the men, be them honest or not; his friends surrounding him, and Dora._

_She sat at the far end of the table, leaning against his shoulder while his hand hung casually on the back of her chair. Liz was sitting in Sirius' lap across from them, held captive by his friend's locked hands, though smiling despite herself. James was sitting on Remus' other side, the only one not part of a couple. Not that it ever bothered him. He had no interest any longer in wenches, and of course he still held to that ridiculous theory of pirates never falling in love. _

_Sirius however wasn't one to let it lie that his best mate seemed to be lacking, in his eyes at least, female companionship. "What about that brunette over there?" He gestured with his head, afraid to unlock his arms from Liz's waist, knowing she would rather be anywhere but in the smoky pub._

_James glanced across Remus and Dora. "That's the pub-master's wife, you dolt." _

_"Really? Huh, well she is a looker – ow." Sirius coughed as Liz elbowed him in the stomach. _

_"Keep your eyes in your head, you charismatic pig." She scolded him. "Else I might think you weren't interested."_

_Sirius squeezed her around the ribs, planting a messy kiss on her reddening cheeks. "Never leave me, my docile rose thorn." _

_James snorted into his rum, barely keeping the liquid from spitting from his lips. Dora laughed, her free voice echoing in Remus' ear as he turned his face to her. The rest of his friends' conversation became a murmured memory as she became the present. _

_"Sirius is never going to give up, is he?" She questioned him, playing with the edge of the mug sitting in front of her, a soft smile on her pink lips. _

_"Probably not." Remus replied, his nostrils widening as her warm scent reached him, sending a smile across his own lips._

_"He should. James will find a woman in his own time." Dora replied, leaning into him more, and tipping her head back with a smile, blue eyes dancing._

_"So sure of that, are you?" He questioned, his breath tickling her lips._

_"Yup." She replied, leaning up to plant a soft kiss on his waiting lips, then pulling back. "So sure that I'd even make a bet on it."_

_"Really?" Remus inquired casually, settling back in his chair, but keeping his arm slung around her._

_"Yeah. Five gold pieces says he'll find a girl before you and I get hitched."_

_Remus found his cheeks go pink as his breath caught in his throat. "Hitched?" He asked. "Married?"_

_"Well why not? You love me, don't you?" She crossed her arms and challenged him. It was only because he knew her so well that he could hear the slight shake in her voice or see the way her eyes darted back and forth in an effort to read his face._

_Slowly Remus kissed the tip of her nose, resting his forehead against hers. "You know I do."_

_Dora smiled at him, but before she cold get a chance to respond a loud sound at the doorway caused most of the pub to turn. _

_A man, dressed in fine fabric strutted through the door, his jeweled sword and fine clothing gave away his identity of nobility. His friends that streamed in behind him wore the same smug looks and clothing he did. Remus tensed in his seat as they bumbled loudly through the pub, their voices carrying jeers to some of the patrons as they ordered rum and beer from the pub-master, who scurried like a rat to do their bidding, greed evident on his face._

_Remus' arm tightened around Dora's shoulder as he watched the men. James nudged him in his other shoulder, causing him to turn his gaze toward his friend._

_"Relax, mate." James warned. Sirius and Liz had also averted their eyes, trying best to keep up the light banter that had been going before the intrusion. Remus saw the unease in Liz's eyes, but he wasn't sure if Sirius could. _

_Dora placed a hand on his thigh and Remus looked down at her. "It will be okay. They're just talk...don't worry." Her words calmed him more than James' did, but only slightly more._

_Remus tried to ignore the men, who loudly shoved some unsuspecting sailors from their seats, boasting about their money and women to the whole pub, where even the pirates averted their eyes in disgust. A few wenches were unfortunate enough to pass by the table, and were each grabbed by one of the men, and pulled into slobbery, rough kisses. _

_James was speaking, but Remus' cautious gaze was on the group of nobles. Dora followed his eye line and at that moment the leader turned his own eyes toward them. Remus' muscles tightened and if he were a dog he was sure his hackles would've been on end and a snarl would have been revealing his canine teeth. The only evidence of his discomfort at the noble's appraising look was the way his face tightened. Dora turned her face quickly away, as if to hide it in Remus' shoulder. But it felt too late._

_Remus turned his head to James, leaning over just enough to whisper in his ear. "I think we need to leave. Now!"_

_Remus felt Dora suddenly pulled from his loosened grip and he whirled so fast that his chair almost tipped over. The noble had come over and now held Dora's wrist in a painful grip. He jerked her closer, a leer on his lips. "And you are?"_

_Dora struggled against his hand, refusing to answer. Her gaze turned to Remus', fear flooding her eyes as she silently begged for his help. Remus felt his gut twist and he was on his feet before he realized what he was doing, icy anger surging through him. _

_An arm around his chest caught him short and for a moment he thought it was James. He turned and snarled, only to find the pub-master holding him back. _

_"Do you know who that man is?!" The older man hissed so that spit sprinkled Remus' angry face. "He's a Count. Count Lestrange. And you will show him the respect he deserves."_

_"That man deserves no respect." Remus countered, twisting in the surprisingly strong grip as he saw the Count pull Dora toward him, attempting to kiss her as his noble friends laughed in the background. Dora twisted away and clawed at his face with her other hand, causing the Count to grab her other arm and twist it down with a wide smirk on his face._

_"What is a pretty thing like you doing hanging around this pirate scum?"_

_Remus felt Sirius tense on the other side of the table and he barely noticed that suddenly Liz was nowhere to be found. At least in keeping her safe Sirius had some sense. More sense, it would appear than he did in taking care of Dora. James tightened his jaw, watching the Count, but unable to move toward Dora because of Remus and the pub-master blocking him in._

_The Count let out another string of curse words toward them as Dora stepped on his foot. "Feisty aren't you…" He finished the curses with a leering compliment._

_Remus pulled against the grip holding him. "That girl is any man's claim." The pub-master reminded him with a wicked gleam in his eye. "And that count is more deserving than some flea-bitten orphan runaway. Besides," He added, digging his fingernails into Remus' panting chest. "She's just a wench."_

_The words would have stung at any other moment but Dora's gasp of pain that followed a resounding slap as the Count's palm made contact with Dora's cheek was the only thing that reached Remus. The skin turned red as the Count twisted her arm further and allowed the chuckling of his lackeys to echo in the almost silent, waiting pub. Remus felt himself snap, and he whirled, punching the pub-master hard in the jaw and sending the man flying backward, before he surged forward and clawed at the Count's throat._

_The Count wasn't expecting the hand that grabbed his throat and tore him away from the girl, so he could do nothing to stop it as Remus' weight shoved him to the ground. Dora fell away to the other side and hit the ground hard. In that moment Remus made the decision that he would later regret the rest of his life – instead of going for Dora he tackled the Count, his fists connecting with the man's head as it snapped to the side._

_His knuckles met soft, slowly swelling skin. All he wanted was this man dead. For hurting Dora. For scaring Dora. For even looking at her he wanted the noble in as much pain as possible. But it was more than jealousy, he realized as he heard the whimper of pain from the woman on the ground nearby. It was something much deeper than mere jealousy._

_Pain in the side of his head interrupted his thoughts and his act of attempting to kill the Count. Dazed, Remus tried to turn his head only to be met by another fist, this one sending him back into the struggling body of the Count. A set of hands grabbed him and another hit him hard in the gut until just as suddenly there were no more hands, only the sounds of flesh hitting flesh. Out of the corner of his eye he saw James and Sirius each tackling one of the Count's men. _

_Ignoring his friends entrance into the fight, Remus went after the Count again, who had tried to rise from the ground. Sending him crashing back onto the floor, Remus punched him, breaking his nose with a loud crack. He ignored the sounds of the fight around him until a burning in his shoulder gave proof that nobles didn't play fair. With a yelp he rolled off the now unconscious Count and gripped his shoulder where blood flowed freely from a knife cut._

_But the pain could be ignored he decided, seeing the Count's body out of cloudy eyes. He tried to crawl forward but two sets of hands grabbed him. Though he struggled against them he couldn't free himself from their grip, and it was only after Sirius called his name that he realized it had been his friends who had stolen him away from the fight, and were now hiding out in an abandoned barn far from the pub._

_"Dora…" Remus muttered, sitting up straight, disregarding how his vision swam from the sudden movement. James was holding a red cloth to his arm, Sirius was gingerly touching his swollen cheek, but there was no Dora. "Where's Dora?"_

_"Probably back at the pub…" Sirius muttered softly, falling silent when Remus turned fire eyes back to him. _

_"You left her?!"_

_"They pulled out knives, Remus. We didn't have any weapons…they were bigger than us, too. What did you expect us to do?" James demanded, wincing as he spoke. Remus barely registered that the cloth he was holding wasn't red, but instead dyed with blood from the gashes running up his friend's arm._

_"We have to go back. Now!" Remus struggled to get up, ignoring how his vision swam._

_"Are you crazy? What are we going to do?" James asked._

_"Kill the Count…." Remus mumbled, standing up, albeit shakily. "Make sure Dora is –"_

_Crash!_

_Remus slumped and Sirius barely caught him with a grunt before lowering him down to the ground. The last thing Remus heard before blackness enveloped him was James._

_"You hit him with a bottle!"_

_And the last thing he saw…was Dora's face._

"Did you ever go back to the pub?" Lily questioned softly.

Remus nodded numbly, eyes distant so he didn't truly see Lily's pale face, or the shaking hands she slipped discreetly under the table. "A few days later…but…." He stopped, looking down at the necklace now in his hands. Something warm and wet appeared on his cheek, but he was too absorbed to brush it away.

"She was gone…."

The tear running down the young man's face made Lily's breath catch in her throat at the depth of love and loss Remus had experienced.

"I looked for her...for weeks I looked..." It was as if he was trying to convince himself as much as convince Lily. "James suggested we steal a ship to look for her in other ports....he thought maybe someone had taken her..."

Lily had the faint memory of James telling her a similar story. About a Count hurting a friend of theirs – and then stealing the ship in revenge. Then she hadn't thought the friend could've been a woman, not just any woman but a woman Remus truly loved. James had only briefly mentioned a woman once when telling her why neither he nor Remus wenched, but it had been only in passing and no name had ever been given.

Time was revealing much more to the stories than just the plain facts James had given her so long ago. Strangely, none of her usual temper sparked at the obvious holes in his previous stories. She couldn't find the emotional kindling to light any fury she might have wanted to express...in fact she could find no emotional residue to feel anything other than numbed shock at Remus' well-kept secret.

"For a year we looked. I tore apart every port. Every pub. Every inn." Remus spoke through gritted teeth, his voice wavering. "Nothing." He ran a shaking hand through his hair as he bowed his head over the table. "And then I told James to stop."

Lily swallowed hard. "Stop...?" She repeated.

"Stop looking. Give up." Remus reiterated with bitterness, tracing the necklace with his eyes. "I gave up, Lily." He looked at her, for the first time since his story, truly seeing her. His eyes were pained with self loathing, as though admitting to his failure was adding shard after shard of glass to the wounds already in his heart. "I gave up looking for her..."

His voice broke into a strangled laugh. "I loved her...and I gave up."

Lily was silent. James had been right to not tell me, she realized silently. He told me I wouldn't understand – and how could I? I've never experienced this much pain, as much despair as Remus is clearly feeling. I've never lost the one I loved, never gone years without knowing. I can see his anguish clearly, but how could I possibly understand it?

Words of comfort teetered on her lips, but she bit them back. They would be empty, meaningless to a man who she was sure had heard them all before, all from people who couldn't and never would truly know the pain that reverberated through every bone in his body.

"Not this time, though." His eyes burned as he looked back at her with unusual determination. "This time, we're going to find her. And I'm not going to give up until I do."

The alternative to his promise was silent, but it reverberated louder in Lily's ears than if Remus had shouted it.

------------------

Lily stepped silently from the galley into the shadowed corridor. She paused to lean heavily against the wall, out of the warm glow that emanated from the galley. A cool draft from the corridor cut across her face, causing her shoulders to tighten as she shivered and hugged her elbows. The secret, so well kept by Remus, James, and even Liz replayed itself in her mind and Lily felt her stomach clench with the desire to vomit.

She covered her face with a shaking hand, closing her eyes. Lily couldn't imagine losing someone she loved that abruptly, and never knowing what happened. But to keep hope for that long, though it had never produced any rewards until now, caused Lily to both pity and admire the second-mate who still sat alone in the galley.

Moving slowly along the wall, Lily felt her feet carrying her down the corridor. However it wasn't until she felt the sea breeze on her cheeks that she realized her feet had let her up to the upper deck.

She could see the outline of a man at the wheel, but she ignored it and instead slowly made her way to the edge of the ship. Leaning on the rail, she looked out over the sea, darkened by the coming night though the sun had not quite set.

"He told you."

Lily bowed her head, but didn't turn to face James as he stepped away from the mast and came toward her, stopping a few feet behind to watch the red head. Lily could feel the heat radiating off him, and almost turned to bury herself against his chest. But she resisted the urge, hugging her elbows instead.

"Yes."

James let out a long breath and stepped up to the rail, resting his palms on the the wooden beam, keeping his icy blue eyes focused on the sea in front of him.

"He looked for a year..." Lily whispered.

"No." James debated, causing Lily to stiffen. "He looked for six."

And he had hope that entire time, Lily thought faintly. Slowly, she turned her gaze to look up at him. "How?"

In all honesty the ex-pirate captain didn't know how Remus had done it, how he had retained that glimmer of hope and not wasted away into a rotting core of guilt. But in all honesty he didn't want to know. James knew that he would never have been able to keep hope for that long, if only for the reason that he could never have gotten past forgiving himself if anything ever happened to Lily. Because after ten months, James had no idea how he would survive without her at his side.

"He loved her. Still does." James responded with the only explanation he knew. Glancing down at her he finally met her eyes.

Lily took a long breath, but she could surface none of the anger from earlier. It was still there, she could feel it simmering like a waiting pot just below the surface. But Sirius' words and Remus' secret had quenched it at least for the moment. But just because the anger was gone, Lily realized slowly, didn't mean that she couldn't try to solve the problem.

She had tried cajoling, yelling, silent anger, hurt, and even some innocence. None of it had worked though. What was left, Lily half wondered to herself. Her hand brushed the edge of her pants, and her palm hit the hilt of her dagger. What was left...

But the truth.

"You love me." She said slowly, hand resting on the weapon at her side. James' brow pinched slightly at the sudden declaration, but he nodded in acknowledgment.

"And I love you." She added, holding his gaze steady. "Why would that change because of what you might have done before I met you?"

James stared down at her for a long moment, feeling as though his carefully constructed dam, intended to hold back all guilt ridden secrets, had sprung a leak at her words. Slowly the leak grew until it wasn't a trickle that fell through the crack, but a waterfall. How had she done that so easily?

"I cut my cousins hair when I was five." Lily admitted when he didn't respond. James blinked in confusion. "She'd taken my doll. I snuck into her room and cut her hair – on one side. She was lopsided for tea the next day. Tea with a visiting dignitary from Spain. My uncle was very displeased. But I never admitted to doing it." Lily planted her hands on her hips, watching as James' lip twitched in an effort to hold back a smile that seemed to him to be out of place.

"Do you love me any less now that you know that?" Lily inquired, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

James shook his head at her, understanding and discarding her logic. "Cutting your cousin's hair is hardly an act of high illegality. Compared to what I've done -"

"You're right. That isn't something I'm ashamed off. What I was ashamed of was breaking my mother's tea set." Lily broke in.

James frowned again. "You told me your mother died..."

"She did. It was her favorite tea set when her and my father were married. She loved having people over and using the tea set. After she passed away it was my father's most prized possession of hers. It was supposed to be given to me on my eighteenth birthday. But I was over eager. Shall we say curious." Lily added blandly, seeing the twitch in James' mouth at the phrase. She didn't allow the luxury to herself.

"I went into the tea cabinet and tried to take down the platter the tea set was resting on. But I slipped and all the pieces fell. Shattered on the floor." Lily watched the confusion play on James' face. "And I ran. When my father asked me about it later, I lied. I told him one of the maids had done it. She claimed she hadn't. But who was my father going to believe? Me or her?"

Lily didn't wait for an answer. "She was fired. Not only that, she was fined the price of the tea set, a sum she couldn't even hope to pay. And because she couldn't pay she was sent to the debtor's prison."

Lily could almost feel the burning sensation in her throat after recounting the story. The shame at what she had done welled up uncomfortably in her stomach. But she refused to give into the urge, even if this time it was to cry instead of laugh.

James looked as if he'd been smacked in the face and Lily asked again, "Do you love me any less because I broke that prized possession – prized by my mother, my father, even me?" Her voice was hoarse, but still had a hint of steel in it. "Because I lied about it? Because, because of me a woman lost her job and her livelihood? Because to this day I've never owned up to the crime?"

Staring at her, James could see the wetness threatening her eyes. But he didn't reach out for her. Swallowing hard, James shook his head mutely, eyes holding hers.

Lily reached forward, gripping the sleeve of his shirt in her fist. "Tell me something." She begged of him. "Anything."

A barrage of memories tackled him and James almost gasped aloud for breath at the force of them. He flipped through them, searching for one. One that would match her own, one that would free him at least for a moment.

And then he knew.

"The first time I marauded a ship I didn't know what I was doing." James whispered, watching her face, concentrating only on that. The words felt like vinegar on his lips, falling slowly like thick molasses. "There was smoke and fire and people fighting and dying. I was so confused I was just sending my blade at anything, hoping it would defend me.

"Then someone bumped me from behind. Without even looking I turned and ran them through...the first person I'd ever killed....

"It was a girl." James paused, watching Lily's expression fall into muted shock. "She was merchant on her father's ship...she was beautiful. She'd been trying to hide." James lowered his gaze, looking instead at the hand grasping his arm.

"She couldn't have been older than twelve. And I killed her."

Lily stared at him, mouth dry at the memory he'd given her as payment for her own. Lifting her other hand she touched his cheek so that he lifted his gaze to meet hers. For the first time she could see tears in his own eyes, and something else: loathing. Loathing of what he himself had done, no matter how many years had passed since he'd done it. No matter how many _grown_ men he killed after. The shame and self hatred at that first kill gnawed at him like a rabid dog with jaws of iron that refused to release him.

"I don't love you any less." She assured him softly, gently rubbing his cheek with her palm. "I don't love you any less, James."

"You should...." He murmured to her.

Lily shook her head. "I shouldn't. And I won't. I promise."

James stared at her and recounted the numerous times he had staid that phrase. _I promise._ _I promise you a walk through town. I promise you a walk through my past. I promise you you'll never get hurt. I promise you I'll find Dora. I'll promise you you won't die in the process. _How many of those promises had he broken, and how many were going to be broken in the coming weeks and months?

"Lily..." He began but stopped when she pulled his face down so it was level with hers.

"I will _never_ love you any less."

The words echoed in James' ears like a trumpet call announcing a long absent son's return, his ragged breath catching in his throat as the rabid dog's teeth _finally_ released him.

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**Well what did you think? Good? Bad?**

**The next chapter is being edited so it should be up before January ends, maybe even in the next week depending on how dedicated I decide to be next week :) In the meantime, please let me know what you think of this chapter.**


	10. Pursued

**A/N: I was so amazed at the great response from last chapter and it was great to hear how much you guys liked it. Hopefully the positive response will continue :) I decided to finally post this chapter, since if I delayed any longer I would probably second guess myself. Another long one for you guys, a little less heavy in emotion, but it hopefully makes up for it in some new twists. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable as Harry Potter, I do own Liz, Cook, and the story.**

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Chapter 9: Pursued

Faint gray clouds dusted the blue sky and waves crashed forcefully against the bow of _the Marauder_ as the ship cut through the swirling waters. Bracing his palms on the rail, James let the sea wind caress his face, brushing the bangs from his brow. Normally the sea wind would have calmed his nerves, now however it did no such deed. Straightening, James turned and narrowed his eyes at the ship steadily gaining on them.

It had been on the horizon for hours, and only recently had it become apparent that it was not only following their own course, but increasing its speed to catch up to _the Marauder_. It was using their own wind to shorten the distance between the two ships further, a trick he himself had used many times in the past years, and there was very few ways to counter the maneuver, especially with them already so close.

What worried him more than its quickening pace, was the fact that no flag flew from the main mast. It would have been only slightly more comforting if there had been a French or English banner flying.

Remus turned his head from where he guided the wheel of the ship. Focusing his own gaze on the ship he tightened his grip on the wooden handles of the wheel. "Any guess at who they are?" His question was directed at James, though the captain kept his icy eyes on the approaching ship.

James sharply shook his head. Unconsciously, his hand shifted to the hilt of his sword, reassuring him it was there and ready to be used. "We treat them as enemies until we know different." He replied bluntly, turning on his heel and descending the stairs as the ship inched ever closer. His mind whirled with possible counter-attacks and tricks he could pull, each one less suitable then the next.

Stepping down from the last step, James nearly ran headlong into Lily. He quickly caught her shoulders and spun, avoiding sending her sprawling along the deck. One they had straightened, James let his eyes roam over Lily, taking in the sword and knife at her belt. He lifted a questioning eyebrow and Lily crossed her arms defensively across her chest. James didn't even need to voice his question to know the answer as Lily returned his steady gaze, not glaring but not budging either.

James fixed her with a look, letting out a long breath. "Lily -"

An explosion interrupted his words and James fell against the rail, barely catching himself before he could fall over the edge. Lily's knees hit the deck as a splash revealed the barely missed cannonball.

"All hands to posts!" James' yell forced the men into action. Jerking himself to his feet he surged up the steps, stopping on the landing.

Sirius gripped Lily's arm, pulling her to her feet and up the steps. The boat rocked again and Lily gripped the rail as another cannonball left the dark ship and skimmed the side of _the Marauder_.

Looking out at the imposing ship, Lily swallowed. "Who -"

"Remus turn around." James ordered. Four heads swiveled to stare at him, mouths gaping at the order.

Remus' recovered first. "You want me to -"

"Turn the ship around. Face them head on so we can swing to their side and board if we have to." Remus started to stutter something, but James was adamant. "They want us to run! They're not going to expect us to attack them!" Months ago even Riddle hadn't expected such a maneuver, and if it worked then, for however short a period, it could work now long enough for them to turn the tables on their pursuers.

"Can we do that? Attack another ship?" John wondered lamely, thoughts of the contract James had signed echoing in his memory. Another explosion sent him sprawling across the landing, Remus into the wheel with a grunt, and Lily into James' chest.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news." Sirius inserted as he heaved himself off the railing where he had been thrown. "But _they're_ attacking _us_!"

"Ready the guns, ready yourselves and prepare to turn!" James hollered as John scrambled off the landing. Turning, James looked down at the woman against him. "Lily, get below deck."

Her face settling into a determined frown, Lily shook her head. "No."

"Lily, I cannot argue with you right now!"

"Then don't argue." She gripped his arm and forced James to meet her eyes. "You need every available hand to defend this ship."

James blinked at Lily, her chin stuck out and her eyes speaking volumes of her resolution. The look in her green orbs reminded him of a day not so long ago when she had stood toe to toe with him while she protected an innocent boy. Now she was standing toe to toe with him – for the right to fight beside him.

Another cannonball streaked by the ship, splintering the side of the ship as it smashed into the water. "James," Sirius broke in, securing the sword on his belt and readjusting the gun strapped to his hip. "We really _don't_ have time for this!"

James ignored him, holding Lily's gaze. The heavy weight of uncertainty and nerves at the thought of her fighting was still present, but the confidence radiating from her eyes made his decision in spite of it. A brief nod of his head was all the acknowledgment he gave.

A flash of a smirk normally found on Sirius' face not Lily's, briefly graced the redhead's lips. It was as much of a response as James needed as he turned from her and shouted another order to the crew.

"Prepare to come around! Prepare to board!"

Remus whipped the wheel around and Lily felt the ship move under her feet. Out of the corner of her eye she saw James, flanked on either side by Remus and Sirius, the wind blowing through his hair as his eyes brewed like an approaching storm fixed on the ship they now faced, creating an imposing picture in the midst of the current adversity.

"Sirius, get the cannons our on the starboard side only." The first mate glanced over at James "Line up the men on that side with guns. When we cross them – hit them with everything." Sirius slowly grinned.

"Aye aye, Captain." He responded before resting a hand on the inner railing and jumping off the landing. He landed like a cat on his feet and repeated the order in a loud voice that reverberated across the deck, sending the men to their posts. If Lily wasn't mistaken, she thought she saw grins of anticipation on all the ex-pirates' faces. They were going to enjoy this.

_The Marauder_ surged over the swell, crashing down into the waves as it shot like an arrow from a tight bow toward the dark ship. The crew braced themselves as the ship swung ever closer.

"Fire!"

The ship shook under her feet, and Lily gripped the riggings nearby to steady herself. Plumes of smoke seeped from both ships, but it was obvious that the ship that had pursued them hadn't been expecting them to turn the attack back upon them.

The crew knew what to do without James having to order it. It was just like any other marauding experience, albeit with fewer men on their side this time. The grappling hooks flew through the fog of cannon-fire, tethering the unknown ship to _the Marauder_. And the men began to cross over, loud shouts coupled with gun shots had Lily's mind reeling.

Remus had secured the wheel and James appeared at Lily's arm as they ran toward the starboard side of the ship. James caught her around the waist when they were at the rail, grabbing hold of a rope as he stepped on the rail. It swung forward, sending them flying through the air and Lily felt her stomach lurch as James' boots hit the other deck and he swung her out of his grip to pull out his sword and meet the blade of a pirate rushing him.

And it was indeed a pirate, Lily could see as she jerked her own sword out, barely managing to evade the blow of a pirate with tattoos covering his face. Lily's arm shook and she felt fear claw at her throat as she realized what she had gotten herself into. This pirate wasn't going to stop because she was a woman, he would kill her anyway or do worse. The clang of metal nearby caused Lily to turn her head for a fraction of a moment, a mistake that nearly cost her her life as her foe's sword slashed toward her.

Lily fell backward in a cry of pain, hitting the deck with her elbow, wincing and clutching at her arm that was slowly growing wetter with blood. The gleam in the eye of the approaching pirate made Lily's stomach churn, but as he came toward her and her hand gripped empty air, she remembered a lesson James had taught her.

_Use anything. Your whole self has to be the weapon._

Lily kicked out with her foot and her heel connected with a unsettling _pop_ against the pirate's knee. It sent him down on the deck with a scream louder than her own and she pulled out her knife before another thought could defer her and shoved it into the screaming man's stomach.

He gasped and clawed at her, and then lay unnervingly still. Stunned for a moment, Lily stared down at him. The battle around her seemed to slow and go silent as she pulled her red knife from the dead man's stomach.

It wasn't the first man she'd killed, that had been Riddle. But Riddle hadn't screamed like that. Lily swallowed hard, her hand already feeling the deck for her sword as she was brought sharply back to reality by two swords meeting in front of her face.

"Lily, move!" It was Sirius, who threw his shoulder into the pirate who had attempted to cut down the stunned redhead. Lily scrambled away, picking up her fallen sword as she did so. Sirius freed his sword and pointed his gun at the now weaponless pirate.

"Parley!" The man whimpered.

It made Sirius pause a moment too long and the man lunged at him. A shot echoed loudly and Sirius turned his head to see Remus shove the corpse aside and fix him with a frosty look.

"We're not pirates anymore." He reminded the first mate, not waiting for the silent nod of appreciation before turning to face an oncoming pirate.

The pirates on the unknown ship outnumbered them But they were young and foolish. James twisted his blade out of a locked grip and ran the pirate through in the same motion. They were untrained, and compared to _the Marauder_ crew they might as well have been children fighting seasoned soldiers.

But James' pity was short lived as he felt the hilt of a sword hit his shoulder and he stumbled even as he parried the steel away from his body. Trained or not they were attacking his ship, and he'd be damned if they were going to get away with it.

His back hit something soft and he half turned, only enough to see a flash of red hair as Lily herself shifted to parry a pirate's blade. At least she was holding her own, though the red staining her arm worried him. The tip of his foe's sword nicked his wrist and James winced, more in irritation than actual pain. Swerving out of the way and James sent his free fist into the pirate's nose, before he grabbed the pirate's shirt and flung him across the deck.

Lily shoved her own pirate counterpart back and twisted her sword arm, effectively deterring his blow as well as landing one of her own with her already used dagger. The pirate staggered back and Lily fell backwards into James' waiting chest. Glancing up she saw a half grin on his flushed face.

"Not bad for an ex-duke's daughter."

She glanced over his shoulder at the pirate he'd just sent sprawling. "Not bad for an ex-pirate." She countered breathless, surprised she could banter so lightly given the situation.

James let out a short laugh, then shoved her to the side, barely saving her from an oncoming pirate. In two breaths the pirate was dead on the deck and James' chest was left heaving from the sudden adrenaline.

He felt Lily fighting at his side as another pirate came toward him. There seemed to be no end to the number of enemy pirates. Where as there was a definite end to his energy and his own man power. Grunting, James shoved the other man away, stumbling back into the stairs to the landing with the momentum.

James brought his sword up, barely catching the sword of yet another pirate, who shoved him backward with the same motion. James felt his feet slip and his back hit the edge of the stairs. With a grunt he rolled out of the way of the boot that came toward him and jumped off the steps, turning to face the pirate who moved with him up the deck.

This pirate was bigger and much better trained than some of his lackeys, James noticed as the man parried each of his advances and James' tired arm only barely managed to block the onslaught. His clothes were also finer, his face surprisingly clean shaven. But there was no doubt he was a pirate as his sword neatly twisted James' and a dagger appeared from nowhere, aiming at the ex-pirate captain's heart.

James caught the wrist of the arm holding the dagger, struggling to keep it away from his body. A brief idea hit him and he dropped backwards, letting the momentum bring the pirate with him, until his back hit the deck and James swung up his knees to send the pirate careening helplessly over him.

James heard the slam of a body into the deck and twisted up in time to kick the sword away from the limp hand of the pirate, and place his own sword at the pirate's throat. The pirate beneath him froze, looking up at him. It was the smirk that began to twist his features that James didn't like.

"Captain James Potter."

James' skin prickled at the use of his name from the pirate's smirking lips. His eyes narrowed, ignoring the fight that was dying down around him.

"It's nice to finally meet you, face to face." The pirate captain on the ground continued.

Nearby Lily stopped as the pirates fell away from _the Marauder_ crew, looking unsure as they glanced toward their captain at the mercy of the man that they had been pursuing. Remus jerked a sword out of one of the pirates grip and shoved him toward Mitz who began tying him up. Lily kept one eye on the pirates that were being gathered and her other eye on James, whose brow was pinched at the familiarity the pirate spoke to him with and the fact that James didn't recognize him in the slightest.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you where you lie." James demanded, pressing the sword so close to the throat of the pirate that it might have drawn blood and refusing to acknowledge any familiarity between them.

"What good will that do you?" The pirate asked, still smirking. "You think I'm the only one?"

James stared down at him, feeling Sirius silently come to his side, his own eyes dark as he watched the pirate. _Only one what_, Sirius wondered to himself.

The contented grin on the pirate's face was beginning to rub James raw with irritation.

"Get up." The captain ordered.

The pirate did not move and James' eyes narrowed. "Get. Up." He enunciated the order with an icy glare and added pressure to the blade at the pirate's throat. The pirate moved now, taking his time to rise to his feet, the challenging look evident on his face.

"Who are you." The next words weren't a question, but a demand.

"Wouldn't you like to know...."  
Sirius had shifted to the pirate's side and now he took the man's arm and twisted it painfully around to his back, jerking it as the pirate winced with evident discomfort. His other hand dug into the pirate's shoulder. "Answer the question." The first mate hissed.

The man gritted his teeth and Sirius increased the pressure on the pirate's shoulder and arm. "Sirius, don't kill him." James said bluntly, causing both the first mate and the pirate's eyes to turn to him. James held the pirate's gaze with his own, as he continued. "Yet."

The pirate narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "Crouch. Captain Barty Crouch." He spat the words and a good deal of spit at James' foot.

James ignored the spit as he racked his brain for the significance of the name. When none came, his frown visibly deepened.

Remus tilted his head, but no recognition showed on his face either. The rest of the crew were too busy bunching together the surviving pirates to pay much attention to their captain and his own captive.

Lily frowned as the name reached her own ears. That name...it sounded vaguely familiar. She was sure she had heard it before, but where?

"You've gone soft if you're not going to let him kill me." Crouch was now saying, a bitter smile on his face.

James raised an eyebrow in disgust. "I said 'yet'." He reminded the pirate captain. Stepping over to him he met the man's dark eyes with his own icy ones until the man twitched ever so slightly in discomfort.

"You were attacking my ship." James said slowly.

"You'd better have a good reason." Sirius grated, tightening his grip.

"There is no good reason." James admonished, glaring still.

Crouch snorted. "You don't scare me, James Potter." In response, Sirius tightened his grip even further so James was sure he heard Crouch's shoulder _pop_ as the pirate winced visibly in pain.

"What do you mean you're not the only one." James questioned now, his eyes blazing.

Crouch leered at him. "You can do whatever you want, Potter. Like I said, there are more coming after you than just me."

More coming after me? James processed silently, with dread flooding his stomach.

"Liar." Sirius bit out.

Crouch glared at him over his shoulder. "Don't believe me? Just kill me and see how many other ships still come after you. They're all after you. All the pirates are after Riddle's treasure."

The name froze James' blood, but the implication had him dropping his glare in surprise. "We don't have any treasure." He replied numbly

Crouch let out a laugh of disbelief, pulling against Sirius' suddenly loose grip to smirk widely at James. "You killed Riddle. You're the only one who could have the map to his treasure – the only one who could know where it is."

It was the most twisted piece of logic James had ever heard in his life, especially since he had seen the English burn Riddle's ship with his own eyes. If the map was anywhere it was either an ashy mound at the bottom of the ocean or in the hands of the Duke, most likely the former. But the man's eyes didn't lie, he believed fully in what he was saying. Which made James assume that whoever else thought he had Riddle's treasure, believed it that strongly too.

"You mean Ribb's treasure." Sirius corrected in the silence, confusion in his voice as well.

"I mean Riddle's treasure, you half-wit!" Crouch broke off in a hiss of pain as Sirius twisted his arm tighter. "Riddle had his own treasure. Just wait until the other's catch up with you..." He smirked at James.

James' face smoothed as he gave Sirius a meaningful look. Then turning his back to the pirate captain he started toward Lily.

Sirius jerked Crouch backward toward the rail, even as the pirate began struggling, pulling against the iron grip of the first mate.

"It doesn't matter what you do to me, Potter. They'll come after you! And you'll die! You and your crew...and your woman!" He hissed, his eyes finally finding Lily. "Riddle's treasure will be reclaimed!"

Sirius stopped at the rail and turned Crouch around to face him, before landing a hard punch in the other man's jaw. Crouch stumbled backward, over the rail, splashing into the waiting ocean below.

When James reached Lily he faced Remus first. "Bind any survivors and perform some sabotage on their steering. I don't want them following us if they get free, or if that rat manages to surface." Remus nodded and moved away.

"You're going to leave them alive?" The question surprisingly came from Lily as she followed James across the deck and the boarding plank that had been dropped between the two ships.

James jumped onto the deck of his ship, then turned. Taking Lily's waist in his hands, James set her lightly down on the deck before responding. "They won't be able to do anything. At best they're sitting ducks for another ship, English or pirate." James assured her, guiding her toward his cabin. "Let's take care of your arm."

Glancing down at her left arm, Lily realized that her sleeve was darkened red. "I'm sure it's...fine..." She lamely attempted.

James snorted and sent her a look as he gently pulled her into his cabin. "Humor me."

The crew left on the pirate ship heaved the dead pirates over the side of the ship as Remus, Mitz, and John bound the wrists of the few remaining pirates. To their credit, the pirates didn't resist, but Remus wasn't incline to be very pitying at the moment. He pulled the rope tight around the wrists of one of the pirates, causing a hiss to escape his captive.

As he knotted the rope, the corner of his eye caught color on the pirate's skin. Tattoos weren't uncommon among pirates, but Remus still moved the rope aside to better see the pirate's forearm, ignoring the questioning look he was being sent by both Mitz and the pirate.

The blue-green tattoo of an eye glared up at him. Memory pulled Remus back to the burning ship weeks ago, where he had taken Dora's necklace from the dead grip of a pirate – with the exact same tattoo.

Remus dropped the pirate's arms and stood up abruptly. Scanning the area around him, he quickly moved over to John, pushing the other man aside to look at the forearm of the pirate he was tying up. Ignoring John's protest and Mitz calling him back to the half-bound pirate he had left behind, Remus pulled the pirate's sleeve up to reveal the same tattoo. It was slightly darker from age, but there was no mistaking the likeness.

Remus looked up briefly to meet the look of the bound pirate whose eyes had narrowed slightly at Remus' action. The pirate didn't speak but continued to stare at him until, mouth tight, Remus dropped the man's arm.

Turning away from the captives and Remus fought to control the shaking of his hands as he mentally followed the breadcrumbs backward from the tattoo of the men nearby, to the tattoo of the dead pirate, to the necklace in his hands, to the woman who had lost the necklace.

Remus moved swiftly along the deck, leaving the ship without a glance back at the captives he should have been supervising. He barely heard Sirius giving the order to disembark as Remus shoved James' cabin door open.

Lily was sitting on the edge of the desk, her shirt off but her chest thankfully covered by a corset as James carefully secured a white bandage around her upper arm. The slam of the door caused them both to jump and Lily's face to redden when she saw Remus standing at the door.

"Remus." James frowned, glancing quickly at Lily, and then back to the second mate whose breath was coming much too quickly.

"The tattoo." Remus broke in, breathless. "It's the same tattoo!"

James frowned in confusion, shooting Lily another quick glance, before opening his mouth to ask Remus what he was talking about. Before he could, the door swung open and Sirius walked in, letting the door close loudly in his wake.

With barely a glance at the agitated second mate, he faced James. "We've separated from _the Black Storm_ – the ship's name by the way." Sirius reported smoothly. "Their crew is either bound or dead. And their captain is either treading water or sinking – personally I'd prefer the later."

"James, the tattoo!" Remus interrupted, having regained his breath.

"Tattoo?" Sirius sent Remus a half irritated look. "I'm trying to tell - "

"This is more important," Remus ground out. "Than your idle commentary on the condition of that pirate crew."

Sirius flushed, more from temper than embarrassment. "Well forgive me for intruding on your own rant of body art, but in case you've forgotten it's my job as first mate to inform the captain that we've left the ship in our wake!"

Remus mirrored Sirius' stiff stance. "Then stop rambling and tell him so that I -"

"Be quiet!

It was Lily who yelled over the argument, having quickly pulled her shirt over the bandage on her arm during their argument. James' eyes widened at her outburst, but he held his tongue. The two other men looked at her abruptly and she fixed them each with a look normally reserved for their captain. "Honestly, you two. How is he supposed to understand either of you!"

Sirius and Remus had the good sense to look slightly abashed at her words, but Remus recovered quickly. "The pirate I took Dora's necklace from," He began, ignoring the annoyed look Sirius sent him. "On the burning ship. He had a tattoo of an eye on his forearm."

"Most pirates have tattoos." Sirius pointed out, still frustrated. "What is your point?"

Remus ignored him, stepping over to James, who had leaned against the desk and was rubbing some spare blood off his knuckles. "The pirates on the ship that just attacked us – had the same tattoo."

James paused and looked up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Remus yelled, flinging his hands up in anger. "Stop asking me if I'm sure! I wouldn't be telling you if I wasn't."

"Hold on." Sirius stopped them. Remus turned with anger boiling in his eyes as he prepared himself for another sidelong comment. But Sirius' face held a slackened expression, lacking any humor or bite.

"Pirates with the same tattoo...and that idiot Crouch saying there were more coming after us....do you know what that means?" Sirius' tone pitched as he looked at each of them. "It's a coven of pirates."

James' face visibly lost some color at the word and his hand that still held the rag dropped limply to his side.

Remus swallowed and tried to recover despite the unsettling nature of Sirius' words. "What's more important is that Crouch's pirate friends could be the ones who have Dora."

"You are missing the point!" Sirius balked at him, running his hands roughly through his hair, both in irritation and growing fear. "We have a _coven_ of pirates after us!"

Lily looked between them, confusion on her face at their reactions. "What is so important about a coven of pirates?" She questioned James, who recovered enough to turn toward her.

"A coven of pirates is run by one pirate, usually the most powerful pirate on the seas. For example, Riddle." As he spoke James realized the truth of his words. If there was a pirate coven, especially one looking for Riddle's missing treasure, it was very possible that it had been controlled at one point by the dead pirate himself.

"It's like the king's armada," He continued in numb monotone. "One pirate in control of several ships and hundreds of pirates. They're rare because normally pirates don't normally want to be controlled by other pirates."

"But when they actually exist, they're best avoided." Sirius put in lamely, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you realize the trouble we're in? This is worse than one ship after us, James." He illustrated the point by swinging his hands out in front of him, jabbing empty air in frustration. "This is tens maybe dozens of ships with hundreds of pirates. And they're all after us!"

"Did you hear what I said?" Remus pressured, looking sternly at James. "The pirates had the same tattoo, which means the pirates who probably have Dora are in the same coven that just attacked us. Which means if we find them – we find her!"

Sirius gave him an frustrated look, eyes wild. "Can you for once, look at the whole picture instead of just at Dora? This is bigger than her, Remus!"

James pinched his eyes shut, feeling Remus' anger as though it was tangible, and sensing Lily's uncertainty at the simmering argument between the first and second mate. What they needed right now was more information, not another argument. What they needed was to know more about the possible coven and more on Crouch. He said as much before Remus could get his own barb into the argument.

Sirius frowned at James' suggestion. "We're going looking for the people who are looking for us?" His tone indicated just what he thought of the idea and his captain's sanity.

"They wouldn't know that you would be looking for them." Lily pointed out, and all three of the men turned to her. "They're going to assume you will run or try to hide Riddle's treasure map...which you don't have." She reminded them slowly.

"They're not expecting you to go looking for them. And they are definitely not going to expect you to go looking for a girl you lost six years ago."

The men absorbed her words, Remus nodding with a determined gleam in his eye. "It will make it easier."

"What easier?" Sirius demanded bitterly. "Getting ourselves killed?"

With a fierce look, Remus ignored Sirius and turned to face James. "Your orders?" He asked even as Sirius shook his head, a disbelieving look marring his face.

Right to business, James thought mildly. If it had anything to do with Dora, which this did in whatever roundabout way Remus had discovered, he knew his second mate was going to be willing to do whatever necessary. The dark haired first mate was going to be different, James realized as he averted his eyes to take in Sirius' stormy look.

"Tell the men to return to course until chart us a new course to a port where we can stay under English and pirate eye to find out some information. Have a few men keep an eye on the horizon at all times." _Just in _case, James kept the final warning to himself. Remus left without even a farewell. James let out a breath as the door shut behind the second mate with an echoing snap.

Sirius watched James from behind his black bangs, silent as he waited for James' gaze to return to him. "Orders?" The question seemed to be a plea to be left out of any of the insanity the situation was steadily turning into

"Help Remus." James ordered, catching the slight wince in Sirius' eyes at the command. But James held to the order. The sooner Sirius and Remus smoothed things over, the sooner he would feel more comfortable about this whole expedition. He wasn't going to have them jumping at each other's throats, especially if he was going to need to focus on whoever might be jumping for _his_ throat.

Despite the wince, Sirius didn't protest and with a brief nod he left the cabin silently. James let out another batted breath and leaned against the desk, tilting his head to glance down at Lily who had remained by his side.

Lily was watching him intently, green eyes fastened on some hidden thought. "Do you think there's a connection?" She asked slowly, trying to ignore the obvious tension between the two men who had just left the cabin.

Shaking his head ruefully, James dropped his gaze to the ground. "With my spectacular luck...probably."

"It would make finding Dora easier." At James questioning look, Lily explained. "It's easier to look for hundreds of pirates than to look for one girl."

"One would think." James muttered to himself. Averting his attention back to her, he glanced at her shoulder covered by the sleeve of her shirt. The now dried blood reminded him of the wound he had been taking care of before Remus had barged in.

"Let me look at your arm."

Lily shied away as he reached for her arm. "You just..."

"We were interrupted. I would like to make sure it's bandaged tight, an that it won't bleed through." James explained, tugging at her sleeve with his fingers.

Lily stared mutely back at him, not moving. "James, I'm sure -"

"Lily, take off your shirt so I can check your bandage." James resorted to the order, holding her eyes with his own. Gingerly, Lily did as she was bid. Slipping the shirt off her shoulders as James helped her. He handed her the discarded material, which she held tight in her fists as James turned his attention to her arm.

James' gentle fingers felt her upper arm, which was now wrapped with a tight white cloth. He checked the ties, careful to not put to much pressure on the wound. James swept his fingers over the edge of the bandage, brushing against the bare flesh of her shoulder, and then became distracted by the small goosebumps that rose from his light touch. Blinking slowly, James slid his palm under her arm, feeling her soft skin under his hands. Then he carefully helped her off the edge of the desk, feeling his neck warm when he found her eyes watching him.

"It should be fine now." He muttered slowly, dropping his hands away from her arm.

Lily nodded and James ducked away behind her to the chair at his desk, sitting down and averting his gaze as she put her shirt back on. Lily took her time buttoning the buttons again as she followed him around the desk, watching him with calm interest.

James didn't look up at her, though he did feel her pause by his arm. An uncomfortable uncertainty had settled in his stomach, more from the fact that he still hadn't apologized for his outburst two nights ago then Lily's actual presence. Their late night conversation had seemed as much a forgiveness on Lily's part as an apology on his, even if had produced so much more than the simple words. It had forgiven him of more than just his harsh words, absolving him of all of his crimes, not just those against her.

However her reprieve made him feel awkward and unsure about himself, specifically from the words she'd used in her forgiveness than from anything else. While it still felt as though he should voice his apology, part of him longed to simply bask in the warmth of her affection than call attention back to the earlier row.

Lily watched him, not completely unaware of the tug-of-war going on within him. James had spoken little over the past two days, and it was only in the small smiles he gave her that revealed how much her admittance the other night had affected him. The crinkled confusion that had coupled with those same smiles made Lily stay in the cabin now, instead of returning to the galley where she knew the men would soon be congregating for a meal.

Pausing near him, Lily ran her eyes along James' ruffled hair and carefully averted eyes, down his cheeks that were rough with a midday shadow, down until she saw the red staining the wrist of the man sitting near her. Reaching down, Lily brushed her fingers on his wrists, cupping his hand in her palm and causing James to start.

"You're bleeding." She reminded him, turning his wrist in her hand. The simple observation brought James completely out of his inner world into the real one with a quick glance at her tender hands gently encircling his wrist, to the actual cut along his arm.

"It's not deep." He murmured. Sensing her frown, James fixed Lily with a calming look. "It will heal on it's own."

The objection was on the tip of her tongue, but the calm way in which James watched her had Lily bit it back. Instead she tilted her head ever so slightly as he watched her with a serious expression.

"You did well...fighting, I mean." James clarified when Lily's brow wrinkled in confusion at his stumbled attempt at a compliment. Doing well was a bit of an understatement, James thought blandly. That she had survived with only a scratch was near a miracle. Then again, she had held her own against Riddle.

Pride blossomed under Lily's breastbone. James had given her compliments on her fighting before, but only after she lost a spar to him. To hear his confidence and praise now made her cheeks warm in delight, even as she acknowledged the change in subject.

"You held your own nicely." Lily told him, letting go of his wrist and sending him a warm smile of her own.

James shook his head, giving her a wry look in response. "I don't think your father would like how I rubbed off on you." He observed dryly before he could stop himself. A faint smile pulled at his lips when Lily blinked at him, and he pulled himself closer to the desk and smoothed a map out with his palms.

The ghost of a daring smirk pulled at Lily's lips and she cocked an eyebrow at him as she leaned against the desk and turned her head to him. "What about how I rubbed off on you?"

"What? Making me a good man?" He wondered offhandedly, the corner of his lip twitching in amusement.

Lily's lips shifted into a real smile. Putting a hand under James' chin she turned his gaze to her. At his confused gaze, she whispered, "James, you were a good man before I met you."

In truth he wasn't that stunned at her words, given what she had said before it really wasn't unexpected or surprising. However, he was stunned enough to only be able to stare at her for a long moment, before James let a ragged breath come through tight lips. He almost let the practiced, self-degrading rebuttal fall from his lips, catching himself just in time as her eyes melted through his own. James lifted his head away from her hand and turned his gaze back to the map sitting in front of him.

Lily shifted her own gaze to the map instead of pushing him further. A frown formed on her brow at the criss-crossing marks and circles that were scratched along the English coast that was etched on the yellowed parchment. "What are all the marks?" She asked, turning fully to brace her hands on the edge of the desk as she studied the map with curious interest.

James ran a hand over his jaw, feeling the stubble that had accumulated over the past few days. His eyes completely on the map he replied, "The circles are the ports we planned to visit, if there's a slash through it," He showed her with a slash of his own finger along the page. "Then we looked and didn't find Dora. The lines along the water," Again he traced the dark lines with his finger. "Are the course we took."

"And there?" Lily pointed at a roughly drawn star on one part of the coast at the lower end of England.

"Liz's port, where we just left." James informed her. "We made our way north," He dragged his finger up the dark line, northward. "Hitting ports along the English coast, and some on the Irish coast."

"Did you ever go south?" Lily questioned, following the line with her eyes to a few marks below Liz's port. James nodded slowly. Focusing her gaze on the marks and coastline as James did, Lily narrowed her eyes. James was looking for something, she could tell as his eyes darted along the traced outlines of her homeland. "You're going to retrace your steps?" Lily wondered thoughtfully.

Barely glancing at her for her astute observation, James let out a long sigh. "Try. The problem is that this particular map is over six years old. Ports have both grown, and disappeared. Some new ones have even come into existence. This map is not only outdated, but it does us no good in checking off ports that are now in trade."

"But you have your old course. Couldn't you acquire a new map and compare the two?" Lily suggested.

James tilted his head up at her. She wasn't looking at him, but at the map with a crease in her brow and unconsciously chewing at the corner of her lip. "We could..." He said slowly.

Lily nodded, sure of the fact. "Then you'd know where you'd been, which ones had grown since then, where you'd need to look."

James almost smiled, but he managed to hold it back just in time. While he'd intended to do just as Lily was suggesting, to actually hear the idea coming from her made him appreciate her presence more than for the normal warmth she ignited in his heart. Not only did her suggestion mean she was willing, despite what he'd said earlier, to help him in this endeavor, but it was also support for his own decision. He might not have necessarily needed it, but James welcomed someone else's voice of approval that served to solidify his course of action, especially when his two friends were otherwise occupied in their own problems and desires.

"Exactly." He murmured, still watching her.

Lily turned her head back to him at the softness in his voice, smiling when she found his eyes on her. "What?"

"Nothing." James shook his head, smoothing over the map with his hand. Reaching down, he heaved another map from an overflowing drawer and set it on the desk. The new map also had marks across it, but fewer, and the map looked slightly newer. It was also primarily focused on a limited section of English coastline.

Tapping one of the circled ports James spoke, "This port is about two days sailing north -east of us. It's a thriving port, but there's not too many legal patrons to be able to jump to any conclusions, and not enough illegal parties to literally jump us. It's size will also ensure there's plenty of gossip and information to be had, as well as sufficient maps to serve our purpose."

Lily nodded, seeing the logic in is decision. "Information about Dora?" She clarified, as much to get an answer as to test James' willingness to talk to her about the other woman.

James blinked at her, as though sensing her plan. Even so he nodded. "Partly."

Lily frowned. "Partly?"

"Partly." He affirmed, rubbing the back of his neck as he leaned back into his chair. "More importantly I want to see if there's any gossip on that lout Crouch."

Lily frowned at the name. Despite Crouch knowing James' name it was clear, at least to Lily, that James did not know Crouch. However, the itching feeling that _she_ should know the name had returned, though Lily was certain she had never seen the man in her entire life.

James left his chair and maneuvered around his desk, pacing agitatedly through the center of his cabin as his mind whirled with too many questions and too few answers. "He knew us...or thought he did. And if Sirius' theory of a coven is right, then that means there are more people who have the same information Crouch did." James muttered, more to himself than to her.

"He was...familiar." Lily added softly, her thoughts finding their way into words. James halted and turned to stare at her.

"What?"

"Crouch...something was familiar about -"

"You knew him?" James wondered sharply, coming to the side of the desk to look at her.

"No!" Lily defended against his accusation. She met his questioning look with a firm gaze. "His name...it was familiar, James. It almost sounded like an old family name." Lily mused, eyes going distant as she ran through the possibilities. "A name that would belong to noble...a duke, a lord, or a -"

"Count." James supplied, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Lily, when Remus told you about Dora...do you remember him telling you about a Count?"

Lily nodded, confused by the abrupt change in subject, but willing to follow its course. "Yes...he was the one who hurt Dora." Lily recalled slowly. "Count..."

"Lestrange." James finished. "At least that's what the pub-master told Remus. Do you know who he was? Or where he could be? It might lead us to Dora." And perhaps even finish this quicker, easier, and with far less bloodshed than Sirius, or I for that matter, fear, James added silently.

Lily read his plan and abruptly shook her head, contradicting his assumption. "No. To be honest, James, I'd never heard the name in my life until Remus mentioned it." That at least she was sure about. Unlike the foggy memory that Crouch's name had prodded, Lestrange's name rang no such bells.

"But he's a count!" James protested, feeling his stomach dropping with disappointment. "Or he was. And he would've had to be in your uncle's court -"

"Do you know how many people are part of my uncles court?" Lily interrupted him with a look of both pity and regret in her eyes. "Tens and dozens. There are more dukes, duchesses, lords, counts, and nobles than this ship could ever hope to house comfortably. And that is not including the visiting dignitaries.

"When in court you know the names and faces of only the most important, and most prominent nobles. Others are flashes of faces, perhaps a last name in passing, but they are only pawns of the court compared to the bigger game pieces." Lily explained patiently. "No higher level noble in my uncle's court would be this far south, or risk their political power by brawling with young boys, no matter how questionable their character."

James felt the urge to kick something quite hard, but resisted and simply ran both his hands through his already messy hair. "You said Crouch sounded familiar..." He pointed out lamely, leaving his hands on his head as he looked back at her.

Lily nodded slowly, her frown returning. "But I don't know where...it could have only been my father talking about a pirate attack..." Even as she suggested it Lily didn't believe herself. The feeling of knowing him wouldn't have been so urgent if it had just been the name of a pirate in passing.

The urge shifted to James wanting to bang his head repeatedly against a wall. Letting out a long breath, James dropped his arms. "If you remember -"

"You'll be the second to know." Lily replied, abandoning her frown for a small reassuring smile.

James' eyes narrowed. "I was going to say the _first_."

"Shouldn't it be Remus." Lily inquired, walking over to him, and tilting her head to look up. "It is Dora we're looking for...and news about Lestrange or Crouch could lead us to her."

James was shaking his head, and Lily fell silent. "We might be looking for Dora, but this is still my ship. Crouch said they were coming after me and my ship."

At his own admission, James made a mental note to have a sit down with the crew. As the crew they were technically entitled to know only which way to steer the ship – but he trusted them, all of them. They had stayed by his side through Peter's betrayal, Riddle's fight, and his own signing of the Duke's contract. James had no doubt that they would stay through this, but to be able to rely on them, they needed to know some of the details – if not only Crouch's threat but also their search for Dora. Perhaps not in specific terms, James decided wondering how Remus would take revealing his personal secret to the entire crew, but at least in allusion.

Lily found herself nodding in understanding, though part of her still yearned to tell Remus anything pertaining to Dora without distilling it through James, if only to reward Remus' long retained hope. But even with her unease, she would follow James' order. "You'll be the first to know." She reassured him.

James smiled down at her. Feeling her cool breath on his chin as she watched him, James was tempted to lean down and kiss her waiting mouth, or at least wrap his arms around her, but he stopped himself. Now was not the time, especially when he now had more than one mystery to solve, even if they all seemed to intertwine in some odd, luckless way.

"You should get to the galley....the men will be hungry after that fight." And a little riled, James considered. Perhaps he would wait until their adrenaline calmed before confronting them about the new 'treasure' they were searching for and the new enemy they were now running from.

With a brief nod, Lily stepped around him moving towards the door until James reached out and caught her hand on impulse. Glancing down at his loosening grip, Lily felt warmth run up her arms as she turned her green eyes back to his waiting face.

"Yes?"

James licked his lips, opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it. Finally he nodded at her shoulder. "Keep an eye on your bandage...if it starts bleeding -"

"You'll be the second to know." Lily told him as his hand released her.

James' brow wrinkled at her response. "The second?"

A sly smile slowly pulled at her lips as she looked at him over her shoulder. "I'll let Cook look at it first." She moved away to the door until James' voice made her stop.

"Cook? Why Cook?" He questioned, his voice unusually suspicious.

Lily leaned her back against the door, raising a smug eyebrow at him, feeling more daring than she had in awhile. "He isn't likely to be distracted by my bare shoulder." She nudged the door open and with twinkling eyes left James, wearing a slightly dumbstruck expression, standing motionless in his cabin.

* * *

**How was it? Too much, too little, good, bad???? Let me know please! The next chapter is half done, but the semester's starting so I'll try to keep working on it and get it up as soon as possible. In the mean time - please leave me a review!!! :) :)**


	11. Needle in a Haystack

**A/N: So I know it's been a little while, but this story had some difficult sections and since there was so much information and stuff I had to pack into it, it took me awhile to arrange it all just the way I wanted it. Hopefully it will all make sense and isn't boring or too expository. But it is long (almost 15 pages :)) so that should make up for my lateness :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do own Cook, Liz, and the storyline.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 10: Needle in a Haystack

James was fairly sure he was in need of a long drink and a long nap. He deserved it, he convinced himself, after enduring four days of Remus' constant speculations and interruptions. After sitting through silent meals with a distracted second-mate on one side, a slightly brooding first-mate on his other, and across from a redhead who looked slightly smug at his less than subtle glances at her. After keeping watch night after night for any sign of another ship. After racking his brain for anything he might have missed six years ago. After ignoring how Sirius and Remus were ignoring one another. After telling an antsy crew that there was not only one ship after them, but possibly a whole coven, and that it was highly possible that to retrieve an 'old friend' they would have to not run from but instead face said coven. James was exhausted, he'd earned himself a break.

The worst part, James realized as he waited on the landing while the ship slowly docked in the busy port, was that it was probably only the beginning.

"Ship docked. Awaiting orders, Captain." Sirius reported, stepping to his side. James yearned to rub his temple at the headache that was ambushing him, but shoved aside the desire as he turned to face Sirius and Remus, who had followed the first mate to the landing.

"We need information on that ship. And Crouch. Any information on pirate activity would be valuable too, old or new. Especially if it has anything to do with your theory of a coven." James listed swiftly.

"It's not a theory." Sirius muttered to himself.

James sent him a sharp look before continuing. "We also need a map."

Remus frowned. "A map? We have plenty of maps! Besides, you still have the map we were using six years ago."

Remus would know too, James thought to himself. He'd been in James' cabin more in the last two days, pouring over said map, than James had almost been able to handle.

The old map would be valuable, James wasn't denying that. However..."It's a six year old map, Remus." James tried to keep his tone free of any irritation and exhaustion he was beginning to feel. "Ports have grown, gone, and emerged that weren't there six years ago. We need a detailed, updated map."

Sirius crossed his arms, calculating their chances of any of the assigned duties with a twist of his lip. "Pirate gossip spreads like wildfire, and if Crouch is as good as he made himself appear to be, word should be around. Getting into any shipping office could be slightly more difficult." He paused for a glance across the ship and into the town, before returning his serious eyes back to James. "People tend to consider such records...private."

"You've always been good at persuading people." James said blandly. "Persuade them it's not private."

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "That's not our biggest problem, oh great captain of mine. Our biggest problem is going to be getting a map. They're not only going to be difficult to get, and soon, they're going to be more than a pretty penny to pay for – especially since, as you well know, we have little money to our names."

"Liz gave us a bulk of the money we'd hidden at her place." Remus pointed out. "It should be plenty."

"Well say we have the money, are you going to walk in there then?" Sirius challenged, looking over at the second-mate. "You reek of pirate."

"_Ex_-pirate." Remus reminded him bluntly.

"I'll find the maps, then." James said, causing them both to look at him. "You two sniff around for the information on the pirates, Crouch, and his ship." Both men nodded. "Try not to get into any trouble." He warned as they started to leave.

Sirius sent him a look. "Other than the trouble we've already gotten ourselves into?" He rebutted smartly. James narrowed his eyes in warning but Sirius turned and left the ship in Remus' wake.

The rest of the crew was tying down riggings and barrels, only looking up when James descended onto the main deck. Silence fell among them as James gave them a measuring look.

"This is _not_ a pleasure port." James informed them when they had all turned their attention to him. "No drinking. No gambling. No wenching. You keep your eyes on the ship, or your ears to the gossip." The hinted implication was obvious: he wanted to know anything they heard that could prove useful.

Nods and echoes of "yes sirs" ran through the main deck. With an affirming nod, James turned and left the main deck, disappearing into his cabin.

Once inside he gave way to the urge, and ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he slumped into the chair behind his desk. A quick glance at the window showed a pale blue sky and a welcoming sea, serene and calm. There was an almost yearning within him to return to it now, but he suppressed it, turning his mind instead to his immediate problem.

The map. Despite the presence of some less than legal company, the port was fairly honest. He'd picked it because it was a port known for it's docking of both pirate and official ships, which means ship logs for pirate ships and navy ones alike.

Maps were time consuming to make, and therefore the good detailed ones, which was the type he desired, were going to be expensive. Not that he didn't have the money, he was sure that he had enough in those sacks of gold they'd taken from Liz's. It was the honesty of the mapmaker that worried him.

It was possible, and therefore highly probable, that the mapmaker would be on the payroll of not only some local shipping companies, but the Royal Navy as well. And as such, would be less inclined to lend a pirate a cheap price on a map, and even less likely to part with a good one in good time.

Rubbing his chin with a thoughtful palm, James silently mulled over the possibilities. He could pose as the very type of man the mapmaker would be more inclined to sell to, though he probably wouldn't have been the first to try such a trick. What he needed was something the other ordinary, or lawbreaking, men didn't have.

His eyes landed on a trunk Liz had given him a few days before their departure. It wasn't for him, but for Lily. A trunk, albeit a small one, full of dresses, ones that Liz no longer needed nor wanted. A few nice and a few more practical. Well as practical as a dress could be on a ship.

The shadow of an idea surfaced and James almost jumped from his chair as he scrambled over to the trunk. Rifling through its contents, he pulled out a green dress with a square neck and open sleeves, bordered by golden stitching. He also pulled out a newer corset that Liz had left in the trunk. Both looked as though they would fit Lily. Giving the corset a half dubious look, he tossed it along with the dress onto his bed and then opened the door to his cabin.

"Mitz!" He called the man over. "Go ask Lily to come to my cabin." He ordered. If the other man thought it was an odd command he kept it to himself as, with a brief nod, he departed toward the door leading below deck.

James closed the door and searched around one corner of his room until he pulled a couple fabrics into his arms and ducked behind a partition. He emerged in cleaner breeches, a white shirt, and a snug black vest. Pulling at the edges, James almost wrinkled his nose, then grabbed a dark overcoat, throwing it over his shoulders and then running a hand through his hair as he attempted to make his bangs lie flat. Cocking his head at his reflection, James decided he didn't look half bad.

The next moment, Lily opened the door and her eyebrows lifted slightly as James turned to her. "You want my opinion?" She assumed with a slightly amused smile on her lips.

James shook his head, then picked up the dress and held it up for her to admire. Lily's eyebrows rose slightly at the dress and reaching forward she brushed a loose fuzz off the sleeve.

"I'd like you to wear this."

Lily fixed him with an uncertain look. "But...you...it's a dress..."

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Obviously."

Lily gave him an annoyed look and pulled the dress from his hands that had unconsciously wrinkled the sleeves. She admired the fabric even as she held the dress up to herself.

"You know we need maps from this port." James began, eyes flickering over her as she held out the skirt of the dress. "It would be easier, not to mention cheaper, if they thought we were...honest." He explained slowly

Lily faced him again, tilting her head with a serious look. "You are honest."

"Technically." He allowed. "But mapmakers are proud and thrifty – not to mention generally suspicious. He'll assume I'm a pirate, if only to up the price and make it more difficult for me to get a decent map."

"And my wearing this dress will change that how?" Lily wondered uncertainly.

"Dressed up like this I look honest." James explained, gesturing to his cleaner clothes. "But any pirate can dress up if he tries. However, the mapmaker won't assume a pirate would come with his wife."

The word made Lily stiffen in shock and, if she would admit it, anticipation. Until James continued. "As long was we pretend we're an honest husband and wife, he's not going to assume any different."

Lily covered the disappointment in her face quickly with a dubious look at the dress. "So you want me to wear this?"

"Yes." James nodded. With a quick glance at her face he added softly, "Please?"

A smile twitched at her lips at his plead and Lily stepped around him and picked up the corset from the bed. It was a newer design that she'd be able to fit to herself with the added bonus of not breaking her ribs in the process. She looked over a James and he took a few steps back, a thankful smile on his lips at her agreement.

"No peeking." Lily ordered sharply, ducking behind the partition.

"Wouldn't dream of it." James automatically replied as he turned his back to her. The minute the words were out of his mouth he felt the immediate urge to do just that. Tightening his fists, James resisted the temptation until Lily cleared her throat.

"James, you can turn around."

As he turned, he froze, staring at her. Lily had lifted a hand to tie back part of her hair in a delicate bun, but most of her red locks tumbled freely over her shoulders. The dress hugged her in all the appropriate places and with the aide of the new corset made some of those places all the more appealing, the color of the fabric framing her eyes. James swallowed away the dryness in his mouth as his eyes swept over her.

Lily felt her cheeks warm at his long appreciative look. "It looks okay?"

"Beautiful." James reprimanded slightly breathless. Reaching out, he took her hand and pulled her in front of the long mirror. Lily straightened in his grip as she stared at her reflection. She may not have been a member of the court any longer, but in the gown she felt as though she were. Smoothing a palm over the skirt of the dress a small smile tilted her lips.

Lily's eyes drifted away from her figure to the one of the man standing behind her. She admired the picture they made in the reflecting glass, his hand still intertwined with hers, hazel eyes meeting her own with a small smile.

"Do you think this will work?" Lily asked, though she knew it would just by looking at him.

"Don't my plans always?" He smiled at her. Lily snorted at the feigned overconfidence. James let go of her and dug around in his desk before coming out with a delicate pouch full of gold, which he held out to Lily. "You mind keeping an eye on this?" Lily gave him a wry smile as she took the pouch and hung the strap on her wrist.

Tilting her head upward with a mock superior air she gave him a thin smile, holding out her hand for him to take. "Are you ready Mr. Potter?"

A grin fought itself across his lips and he placed one hand on her back and took her other hand in his own, guiding her toward the door. "Always."

The intake of breath was obvious when Lily stepped on the deck and the few crew members who were sprawled around rose to their feet. Lily felt a warm blush stain her cheeks. Though the crew had seen her before in dresses, it was few and far between, and their smiles of approval warmed her heart. But that didn't compare to the heat in her chest when James slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, leading her down the gangplank.

Before they left, James checked his boot to make sure the dagger he had hidden was still there.

Just in case.

---------------

It was not hard to feel the purposeful silence from the man walking next to him, Sirius observed. At any other time it would have wounded his feelings, but at present moment, Sirius was as angry at Remus as Remus seemed to be at him.

Well, probably not as angry, but definitely just as frustrated.

A quick glance showed a frown crinkling Remus' brow, eyes stormy as they kept themselves determinedly averted from Sirius. It was possible he was listening to the several conversations from people lining the streets, but Sirius doubted it.

The darker haired man let out a rough breath. "You are going to have to speak eventually." He found himself saying, even as he promised himself he wouldn't try to break the silence.

"To pirates. To soldiers. Perhaps even to a few street rats. But with very little effort I won't have to speak any words to you." The comment was full of bite and Sirius almost winced at it.

"Before or after the previous comment?" Sirius found himself daring.

Remus sent him a scathing look. "You are such a child, Sirius." He accused, turning on his heel and starting down the opposite street.

Sirius felt his face flaming as she stalked to catch up to the second-mate. "A _child_? In what case?" He demanded vehemently.

"Your banter and attempted humor in a situation that is far from amusing." Remus told him, still not looking at his face. "Do you realize how dire this situation is?"

"Do _I_ realize?" Sirius almost balked. "Of course I realize! I realize that we are once again the subject of a very large group of people's wrath. I also realize that we are going looking for said people, which doesn't say much for the sanity of our captain. What's more, I realize that you don't think that's the real problem, do you?"

Remus halted in the street, finally facing him. "No, I do not. You are only selfishly thinking of the dangers that could befall _you_, Sirius. If those people are terrible enough to come after us, think of what they could be doing, or have already done, to Dora."

Sirius whirled on him, shock and anger on his face. "Are you a fool?" He demanded hotly. "This is bigger than just _Dora_, Remus! This is hundreds of pirates coming after us – trying to _kill_ us! And not just you or me, James and the crew, and Lily too!"

"All the more reason we should get to Dora as quickly -"

"Argh!" Sirius turned away, then back again, hands flailing in anger. "And you call _me _a child? You call _me_ selfish? You have your eyes so set on finding Dora you're missing everything else going on around you!"

"I am missing nothing." Remus hissed angrily.

"People are going to die, Remus!" Sirius poked Remus hard in the chest. "On this wild goose chase of yours, people are going to die! Perhaps all of us are, and the only thing you can see – the only thing you can think about, is Dora! I'm not the selfish one here, Remus, you are!" He shoved Remus hard in the shoulders, sending the slightly leaner man back a few paces. The mousy haired man stalked back up to him, shoving Sirius in return with just as much strength.

"Selfish because I'm going after the one I love? Tell me, Sirius, would you be so inclined to go hunting for Liz? Of course not." Remus answered his own question with a barb that made Sirius fully wince. "You're too wrapped up in your own love of gold or drink or wenches to care if anything were to happen to her. Well _I_ do care! Don't begrudge my feelings because you have none of your own!" Remus spat.

Sirius felt an overpowering desire to punch the man in front of him, and the only thing that held him back was the knowledge that they did not need anymore attention than their shouting match was already drawing.

Stepping closer, Sirius eyes flashed with anger that was no longer attempting to be contained. "Don't lecture me on my feelings, Remus." He warned icily, attempting to keep his voice low. "You know _nothing_ of my feelings."

"Nor do you." Remus countered, narrowing his eyes.

The dark man's anger flared dangerously and he growled at Remus, fists shaking at his sides. "Your _feelings_ are what is going to lead us to disaster, Remus."

Remus grabbed the front of Sirius' shirt, tightening the cloth in his fist and dragging the other man close. "I have to save her!" There was a hint of desperation in his voice that Sirius didn't bother to notice as he swatted Remus' hands away.

"Stop seeing her as the only victim through a narrow tunnel, Remus. This is everyone's nightmare now. Don't selfishly think it's only your own."

Shoving past the silent man, Sirius made his way further up the street, not caring if Remus did or did not follow him. He could search for his own gossip, as far as the first mate was concerned. All Remus would be listening for was a gold-haired wench six years gone.

----------------

People mingled through the streets of the town. The couples dressed in finer clothes, kept their eyes purposefully averted from the lesser men who walked the streets who obviously did not belonging in both clothes and demeanor. Several children ran through the legs of the patrons inspecting the shops. Even in the children there was a distinction, between the girls with crisp bows and the boys running barefoot in rags.

Lily was careful to not step on the edge of the dress and not be too distracted by the feeling of James' hand on the small of her back. She was also mindful of the several children that had run in her path, almost causing her topple until James had caught her elbow and given her a wane smile, which she shakily returned.

It was odd to her that she was so nervous. But after over a year on a ship of men, where courtesy was always given, but manners were very lax, after a over a year of not existing in world's of politics and the beautiful gowns, Lily felt strangely out of place. Many of the people that passed by sent her assured nods of greeting, and each one gave her more confidence, though it took her body several moments to remember the years of education she'd received while in her uncles court.

It was coming back to her, steadily, but nerves at the act they were about to play, and at its importance, made her hand tighten in the skirt of the gown.

James glanced over at her. Then leaning down so that his breath tickled her cheek, he whispered. "Lily, calm down."

"This is not going to work." Lily voiced her fear, not turning her head as James guided her down one street.

"Why ever not? You look lovely, I look honest, we have money." James told her with a soft smile as though those three facts solved all their problems.

"Do you think whoever this man is is going to buy into this charade?" She wondered softly. There was more to nobility, or honesty, than nice clothes and money. The attitude, for one, the speech for another. It was beaten into every word, every breath, every move. While her education had been extensive, however slowly it was coming back to her, James had had no such training.

"Everyone else is." James pointed out as he nodded briefly at a passing couple, who returned his gesture with nodes of their own. Lily followed them with her eyes, the woman's arm linked through the handsome man's arm in a regal, comfortable way.

Lily shook her head. "James..." Her voice was panicked. What if this did not work? How would they get the map? How would they find Dora then? How would Remus....

James pulled her to a stop, turning her to face him fully. Bending over, James held her eyes with his own. "It will work. Lily you commanded respect from me even when you were my prisoner. You convinced your father to free me, and more importantly you look noble enough to have just come from your uncle's court." Cupping her cheek with his hand, he brushed away a lock of red hair as his confidence radiated to her much like hers had done for him not so many nights ago.

"You ran headfirst into a fight with pirates. This is nothing."

He had a valid point, Lily admitted to herself. Am I a noblewoman or aren't I? She scolded herself and her nerves. Raising her chin she squared her shoulders, and met James' eyes. He placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and helped her up the steps into the map shop.

The shop was dimly lit, more of a yellow glow that made each of the maps spread along the walls look even more aged than they really were. Globes littered man of the shelves at at the far end of the room, opposite the door was a large wooden desk where sat an man.

He was thin and wiry, face and hands wrinkled and skin pale like wax. His hair was longer, gray and white thin strands that fell just behind his shoulders. His eyes darted around like a sneaky mouses and he when he raised his eyes to look at them, Lily found they were black pits surrounded by a distilled yellow. She glanced quickly at James, who had merely nodded his head at the man in greeting.

"Sir. Madam." The man scrambled down from his perch, bowing slightly at them. "May I," He glanced at Lily and then back at James. "Be of service?"

"I hear that this is the place one would find a detailed map. Am I correct in such an assumption?" James' voice rippled with amused warmth, but there was also a tint of superiority.

"Perhaps. That depends if your gold can match my price." The man countered. James' eyes narrowed reflexively and the man muttered an added, "Sir."

"I have a much better idea." James decided, eyes flashing with some anticipation as well as irritation. "You will find the map I desire, if my wife," He nodded once at Lily, before fixing the man with his icy gaze. "Finds it acceptable I will consider paying the price you suggest, and you will leap at the price I demand. How does that sound to you." It wasn't really a question and the man knew it, as stunned as he was by the blatant authority James was emanating.

"Yes...very good sir..." He muttered.

Lily couldn't help but admire James' method. He hadn't bothered setting the stage for the charade he was playing, flashing his name or a noble title as many others would have tried. Instead he had done exactly what true nobles would have. He had taken control, and taken any doubt of authority the mapmaker might have had and completely dashed it to pieces in a simple act of verbal command.

When the mapmaker had come up with the map James had described, he lay it out on a wooden table to the side. James eyes scanned the map, taking in the detailed markings, as well as the date inscribed at the bottom. It was both fresh, new, and accurate to a fault. It was exactly the map they needed. But he couldn't say that aloud. Straightening, he did not even offer the mapmaker a glance as he looked at Lily, who had focused her own gaze on the map, though he couldn't be sure she knew what she was looking for.

"My dear." He said, enjoying for a moment the way the word rolled off his tongue even as Lily raised her gaze back to him. "Is it up to your standard?" James requested, wishing for a moment he had educated Lily in the matter of maps so that she would know exactly what he was looking for.

He needn't have worried, for all that Lily did not know exactly how to measure a map's prominence, she had grown to be able to measure James' expression. She could read the desire for the map in his eyes, but also the desire for a reasonable price.

Dragging every ounce of nobility to her heart she turned her sharp green eyes to the mapmaker, who was looking at her her with shifting eyes. "This is your best map." She asked.

"Of course." The mapmaker responded, slightly nervous. He was honest in that at least, Lily could see it, but he was also slightly proud and rubbed raw by the way she seemed to disagree with his obvious success.

Lily knew his pride didn't need to be wounded anymore, that if it was he would be likely to refuse selling them the map at all. She adjusted her tone and fixed him with a serious look. "What is your price?"

"Seventy gold pieces." The man said immediately, watching their reaction. James' eyes narrowed ever so slightly but Lily merely lifted her chin.

"I believe you when you say that it is your best map, sir. However, even the best of maps is not work seventy gold pieces." Lily said, watching the man calmly, all the while not knowing if she spoke the truth about the price. James had smoothed his face over as he watched her.

"My husband," Her tongue lingered on the word, "will take your map and you will let go of it for only 25 gold pieces, deducted for both your pride and your overpricing. I have seen maps in the King's own house." Lily added as she placed the gold on the table and James carefully took the map and rolled it up before the mapmaker could protest.

Not leaving the mapmaker the option to speak during her breath, Lily continued. "No mapmaker would dare charge the King seventy gold pieces for an ordinary map, no matter how great your skill. I suggest, sir, you charge your patrons based on the quality of map, not the heaviness of their purse."

Giving him a nod, she placed her hand on James' elbow and he led her from the shop, leaving the mapmaker tentatively taking the coins from the table as the door swung shut.

Once out in the street Lily let out a breath that she hadn't been aware she was holding, her grip on James' arm tightened slightly for she feared that her knees were about to go out from under her. But she remained standing, head held high, her adrenaline rushing to flush her face at what she had just accomplished.

James didn't look at her until they were a reasonable distance from the map shop, when he suddenly veered into a side alley. Dropping the map on an overturned barrel he placed a hand behind her neck and pulled her mouth to his before she could formulate any question.

It was an abrupt kiss, and Lily's squeak of surprise was proof of that. But as she relaxed in his grip, slowly threading her fingers through his hair as he wrapped his other arm around her curved waist, it grew into a much sweeter kiss. Leaning more into the kiss, Lily felt her heart race with anticipation and James stepped forward, causing her back to hit the edge of the building they were near. Kissing him with as much fervor as he did in return, Lily felt instant regret when James pulled back just enough so that their foreheads were resting and their lips still barely brushed when James breathlessly spoke.

"You were fantastic!" He told her softly, chuckling in remembrance of not only his own surprise as Lily's handling of the situation, but also the map maker's expression as Lily had lain down the conditions.

Lily laughed and James felt the laugh through his own bones, making him pull her slightly closer, though there was little room between the two of them already.

"I'm serious, Lily." He let out another short laugh.

Lily tilted her head, eyes catching his. "And this is your way of complimenting my method?" She inquired slyly.

James cocked an eyebrow at her. Relief at both her humor and having finally given in to his desire kissing her after so many days was making him giddy. "Opposed to it?" He teased back.

"Most nobles don't, how can I diplomatically put this? Devour each other's lips after a good business deal." Lily pointed out wryly.

"I'm most certain they do." James said, eyes twinkling. "They probably just wait until they're back in their fancy house."

"Probably." Lily chuckled.

James touched her cheek reverently, then leaned down and pressed his lips softly against her own. She could see his eyes glowing as he gently pulled away.

"We should get back to the ship." He reminded her, dropping his arms, though he kept a gentle hold of one hand as he snatched the map up from where he'd lain it. "Shall we?" He asked, giving her a roguish smile.

Lily smiled as he led her out of the alley, without bothering to glance to see if anyone was paying attention to the two nobles who looked somewhat rumpled and were emerging from a dark alley that most honest men would never have drifted down. James tightened his grip on Lily's hand, leading her easily though the crowds, which parted for the handsome couple as the sea would part for a monarch's ship.

--------------

Sirius let out a rough sigh, throwing several of the papers he'd managed to accumulate in the hours he'd been in the dark dusty room, to the floor. Running sore fingers through his hair, Sirius rested his forehead on the table, enjoying the coolness of the wood against the sweat on his brow.

It was impossible.

It had been at least three hours since he'd managed to convince the harbor master's wife to let him look at the books from the past couples months, for in all his years he had at least learned it was the wife that was the real decider in a family. After that the harbor master bent to her will. It hadn't hurt that he'd lied about being a rising baron who was interested in expanding his father's shipping companies. If there was one thing that a wife wanted more than her husband's obedience, it was a husband for a young daughter, and a profitable husband at that.

Shaking his head he lifted his brow from the table and wrinkled his nose at the books lining the shelves across from him. Books kept by the harbor master, the harbor master's father, and the harbor master's father's father. Sirius rose and walked around the room, pulling what appeared to be a more recent book from the dusty shelf.

Opening the binding he immediately sneezed, sending more dust into the air. Waving a palm in front of his face, Sirius squinted at the writing and the date. Despite the smudges of the book he could tell it was dated two years prior. Flipping through the pages, Sirius' eyes darted back and forth, recognizing many of the ships he'd already seen in the later pages, including even _the Serpent_, written in almost shaking script near the beginning of the book. But _the Black Storm_ did not appear.

Throwing the book onto the table, Sirius selected another book and began flipping through it in the same manner. Again he recognized all the ships, and saw no sign of _the_ _Black Storm_. One name did catch his notice and he paused, lifting the book closer to his face.

_The Blue Monarch_.

It was the one name he didn't recognize from any of the later pages strewn across the table. Frowning, Sirius grabbed the book he'd already set down and again rifled through the pages. There was no _Blue Monarch_.

With another frown, Sirius picked out another book from at least five years prior. There on the first page was _the Blue Monarch_. Flipping further through the pages, Sirius found the ship listed several more times, but again did not see _the Black Storm _on any of the aged pages. Sirius' frown deepened slightly.

"Did you find whatever you were looking for?"

Sirius jumped, dropping the boot with a clatter to the floor as he stared at the widening eyes of the harbor master's daughter. She was young, no older than Dora had been, he surmised. She had a little cuteness to her, freckles scattered along her nose, and long hair that fell in wavy locks to her waist.

"Um...what?" He asked, stooping quickly to pick up the book.

"Did you find whatever you were looking for?" The girl asked again, setting down a tray prepared with food. Sirius thought about thanking her for her thoughtfulness when she spoke again. "You are looking for something, aren't you?"

"In a way..." Sirius murmured in response, setting down the book. He studied her for a moment when she didn't retreat towards the door immediately. "Do you mind if I ask you something....ah what's your name again?"

"Rachel."

"Rachel, yes. Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

The girl nodded her head. "I don't see why not."

"You...you're here with your father and mother quite often, so you'd see the ships that come in and out...correct?"

Rachel nodded, her brow wrinkling at his question.

"Would you happen to have heard of a ship called _the Black Storm_?" Sirius inquired, stepping over to her.

The girl's frown deepened, and then she shook her head. "I'm sorry, sir. I've never heard of a ship like that. If it's been here at all it will be in those books. My father keeps very good books."

"Yes I can see that." Sirius muttered, glancing over his shoulder at the papers still scattered over the table. With a long sigh he looked back at Rachel, giving her a small smile. "Thank you for your help."

"It was nothing." Even in the dim light, the faint blush on her cheeks was unmistakable. Sirius shifted on his feet, but before he could say anything else the harbor wife, a large woman with an even larger voice, burst into the room.

"Ah Mr. Darrow," Sirius flinched slightly at the disguised name. "Is everything to your liking?" The wife gave a pointed look at the girl and the blush deepened to red. "The food, the books." The girl.

Sirius nodded as politely as he could manage. "Of course. I'll only be here for a few hours more, madame -"

"Call me Rebecca." She gave him a wide smile. "No need for formalities." Sirius nodded, uncomfortable and barely resisting the urge to cut and run while he was still capable.

"My daughter Rachel, she'll help you with anything you need, Mr. Darrow." With a nudge from her mother, Rachel stumbled forward a step, looking at her feet when Sirius glanced over at her. "She's young, but beautiful. Don't you think so, Mr. Darrow?"

Rachel's blue eyes rose up to his and Sirius swallowed, forcing a painful smile on his lips that the wife took as an affirmative answer. Silently, Sirius swept his eyes over the young girl again, replacing the black locks with golden ones. Then he replaced the gold hair with brown and the blue eyes with deep chocolate.

Beautiful.

Only compared to some.

---------------

The sun and long fallen and _the Marauder_ waited patiently at the dock, a few swinging candles lighting the deck where several of the men sprawled in varying card games. Sirius had been the last one to scramble aboard just as dusk had fallen, with an apologetic look toward James, who had spent most of the afternoon comparing the two maps with little luck.

Now both Sirius and Remus stood across from James in his cabin, lit only by the moon and several candles throughout the room. Both Sirius and Remus pointedly avoided each other's eyes, even as James crossed his arms and looked from one to the other.

"Well?" The captain prodded, when neither of them spoke.

Lily was silent, sitting at James' desk and absentmindedly fingering the fabric of the dress she had yet to take off. She gave all appearance of not paying attention, even as she consoled herself with the fact that if James hadn't wanted her to hear what was going to be said, he would have sent her away. Or tried to.

Sirius shot a half glance at Remus, whose hands tightened as the first mate stepped forward. "_The Black Storm_ is not in any records from at least two years past." Sirius recounted slowly. "Any ship or trading records that this port has list not even a hint of its existence."

"That's impossible." James replied bluntly. "This is a prominent port, most ships have stopped here at least once. How could _the Black Storm_ never have been here Sirius?"

"You didn't let me finish." Sirius interrupted. "_The Black Storm_ is not in any records, but there is only one ship that came and traded at this port for years, before disappearing from the books just over two years ago. And that is _the Blue Monarch_."

James' frown deepened slightly at the unfamiliar name. "So?"

"So?" Sirius snorted in irritation. "So don't you think that's a little odd? Why come here for at least five years and then suddenly stop?"

"You think there's a connection between the two ships?"

"I _know_ there's a connection." Sirius corrected, flashing James a hint of his former smile. "Care to hazard a guess at the owner of _the Blue Monarch_?" At James' raised eyebrow, Sirius answered his own question. "Baron Barty Crouch...senior."

Silence fell in the room as three sets of eyes stared at the first mate. Lily straightened abruptly in her chair at the title and name, the misty memory that had pulled at her mind becoming steadily more clear.

James' eyes widened in surprise. "Barty Crouch senior?" James repeated even as Lily frowned in thought behind him. "You mean to say...there's a junior?"

"I mean to say we've met the junior." Sirius said, then backtracked. "At least I think we have. He certainly wasn't old enough to be a senior of anyone."

With a grunt James acknowledged the idea. It wasn't entirely uncommon for sons, fed up with their fathers, to leave and become pirates. But for a baron's son? Who was probably not only wealthy, but privileged as well? What reason would he have? And it still didn't explain why the two ships were connected, as the father-son relationship was a thin tie at best.

"Why do you think _the Blue Monarch_ and _the Black Storm_ would be connected?" James questioned slowly.

Sirius fixed him with a steady look. "I think Crouch, the younger, stole the ship, changed the name, and never returned to the port because he assumed it would be recognized. It would account for why _the Blue Monarch_ disappeared, and _the Black Storm _never came to port. And it's not exactly far fetched to think of someone stealing a ship and changing it's name." Sirius added.

"Crouch isn't that smart." Remus argued slowly, speaking for the first time since he had entered the room.

"He was smart enough to find us." Sirius pointed out, too exhausted to use any of the remains of his earlier temper.

"He might have had help."

"No matter how arrogant he was about his skills, Remus, he still did find us, helped or not." Sirius pointed out.

"I think Sirius is right." Lily broke into the argument before Remus could retort. James started, having forgotten she was there, while the other two men simply blinked at her.

"What?"

"I think Sirius may be right." Lily reaffirmed, her voice wavering as though she was still in thought. At the three intense gazes, she rose and walked around the desk to join them. "About Crouch and his father."

James frowned at her comment while Sirius merely cocked his head. "And why would you think that?" James questioned before the first mate could inquire the same thing.

"Do you remember I told you Crouch's name sounded familiar?" Remus and Sirius looked between them with confusion tinted eyes even as James nodded in the affirmative. "I finally realized why the name was familiar, but not the face. It wasn't the pirate's name I knew, James. It was his _father's_."

James stared down at her for a long moment, before regaining his voice. "He was just a baron." He protested, confused.

"But he wasn't _just_ a baron." Lily dissuaded. "He was a very prominent and respected baron. But more importantly, he worked long and hard both in the courts and outside of them, against pirates.

"He went out of his way to weed out any possible pirates on his ships." Lily explained in the silence that had fallen. Now that she connected the name to the man, all her memories were falling into place in an abrupt flood. "He equipped those very ships to rival the Royal Navy because he wanted them to be able to rid the waters of all pirates." The statement fell hard on all three men who, after years of being hunted by both noose and gun, reflexively stiffened.

"I have a feeling I wouldn't have liked him." Sirius put in blandly.

"You wouldn't have." Lily agreed with a brief nod. "He wasn't a bad man." She continued slowly. "But he was dedicated in his job and passionate in his hatred for all things pirate.

"So passionate, in fact, that when his own son was brought up on pirate charges barely three years ago, his father refused to hire him a lawyer, wouldn't even attend the trial." All three men stared at her, stunned. "Crouch was convicted, and afterwards Baron Crouch disowned him."

Lily hadn't attended the trail. She was a lady after all...or at least that had been her father's excuse. But neither had Lily been deaf to the gossip that spread shortly after the trial, nor the new that came just four months later.

"And after Crouch was disowned?" Remus questioned, wondering silently why a man convicted of pirate acts was alive, breathing, and still committing them.

"He escaped in transit to the prison where he was supposed to await execution." Lily explained.

"Escaped in transit?" James repeated, eyebrows lifting. "How does a convicted pirate escape 'in transit'?" He demanded, disbelief coloring his voice.

Lily sent him a slightly exasperated look. "James, he was a menial pirate. There wasn't an armed guard escorting him everywhere."

"You would think with the way the English act towards pirates there would be." James pointed out blandly. "Or that they'd hang him on the spot."

"What happened after he escaped?" Sirius asked impatiently as he looked between the redhead and the captain.

"At first, nothing." Lily replied. "His father was furious. Baron Crouch felt his son deserved the fate of a pirate if he was leading the life of one.

"If I remember correctly," She continued. "It was four months after the trial. Baron Crouch was on the sea and his ship was attacked by pirates. They killed everyone on board, but no bodies were ever found." Lily concluded with a slight shake in her hands. No one had been certain as to the pirate's identity, but there had been much speculation that Crouch the younger had managed to find himself a crew to take his revenge on his father.

"Oh the irony." Sirius muttered, his next words exposing Lily's silent thoughts.

"Crouch was on another pirate ship, and that ship attacked his father." Remus assumed slowly, reminding the other three of his presence. James gave him a questioning look. "It makes sense with everything else..."

"Everything else?" James prodded, growing impatient. "Which is...?"

"There wasn't much gossip on Crouch...except that he was here, in this port, only once. He got a ride out on _the Serpent_ just shy of three years ago."

"Riddle's ship was listed in the log books." Sirius remembered, almost to himself.

Jame's blood quickened at the name. "Riddle?"

Remus nodded. "Crouch left the immediate crew two years ago, or some drunkards said. Apparently he had acquired a ship of his own, but he didn't cut ties with Riddle. It was thought that he actually stayed in Riddle's employ even after getting his own ship."

"So much for my theory being a theory." Sirius broke in with a brief glance at James. "It would also explain our young Crouch's abounding loyalty to the serpent king, and his absence when said ship attacked us." He spat the words with vinegar.

James rubbed the back of his neck in agitation. Lily's memory combined with the gossip was filling his already full plate to a near breaking point. "Anything else?" He almost dreaded the answer, though any gossip at this point, especially any expressively linking Crouch to any coven would be well worth the headache.

"Only that he, along with a large number of pirates, quite literally fell of the edge of the map after Riddle's death." Remus continued, weighing the words slowly. "Then a month or so ago they reappeared – more organized and much more determined in one goal."

The second mate paused in his recounting of the pirate gossip he'd discovered along the inner streets of the city. It was amazing, really, what one could pick up when people thought you weren't listening. Or when they were so intoxicated their was no suspicion at your questions.

"Which is?" James spoke through half clenched teeth.

"Something Riddle left behind..."

"His treasure map." James supplied with disgust. "Riddle wouldn't have been stupid enough to write out a map to his own treasure!"

"And if he did, it's probably at the bottom of the ocean." Sirius put in, crossing his arms. "Because we certainly don't have it."

"I highly doubt they are going to ask us nicely for it." Remus rebutted without looking at him. Sirius opened his mouth, but then closed it, refusing to reply.

James shook his head, both in an effort to discard some of the clutter accumulating with the bad and worse news, and to readjust those same thoughts.

"So our Crouch attacked his father's ship, probably when he was on Riddle's ship. He took over _the Blue Monarch_, changed its name and stayed in Riddle's coven." James recited, finding three sets of eyes on him. "The coven...it's the only answer to why all those pirates would be after one goal and _not_ be killing one another to get to it. They were originally brought together by Riddle, and now that he's gone their one mission is to find whatever they think he left behind."

James let out a heavy breath, ignoring how Lily watched him carefully, half as though she wanted to take his hand in comfort. For once he was glad when she didn't.

"There's only speculation that there even is a coven, not many people, even pirates, want to think of the possibility of a power driven, organized group of pirates loose." Remus recounted slowly, though the words were not as reassuring as he might have once intended them to be.

Sirius gave Remus a long look, then turned his gaze back to James. "Well now what?" He demanded, short on both energy and patience. He'd spent hours slaving in a dusty room, evading the mother of a marriage-worthy daughter, or at least according to her, and all they'd found out was that Crouch was a murdering scumbag pirate who was in Riddle's old coven. He could have come up with most of that with just a glance at the man.

"We'll wait here for the next couple days...keep our ears open and decide on our next course. And then we look for the coven."

Remus' eyes rose sharply and focused on James' face. "What about -"

"It's easier looking for hundreds of men than only Dora, Remus." Lily spoke softly, trying to console the man whose face was paling rapidly.

"Besides," James helped. "You said yourself that Dora could be with the coven."

Remus' eyes were still frozen on James' face, but he couldn't argue with James' point, nor the calmness that both James and Lily were trying to convey. "All right." He replied stiffly.

Sirius shot him a look of mock surprise and opened his mouth to comment.

"Sirius."

It was Lily, not James, whose words and green eyes forced him to hold his tongue silent. "Would you walk me to the galley, please?"

He considered refusing, but she was already walking toward the door and he obeyed the command, following her out onto the deck and letting the door close on Remus and James.

"What?" Sirius demanded, sharper than he intended as Lily walked slightly ahead of him across the deck.

When she finally turned to look at him, the measuring light in her eyes caused Sirius to step back. "Sirius, how is Remus?" Lily finally asked, the intensity of her look constant.

"How should I know?" The blunt remark left him before Sirius could stop himself.

The hardness in her eyes dropped in surprise as Lily's eyes widened ever so slightly. "He's your brother."

Her choice of words caused Sirius to look sharply at her, his lips parting slightly in stunned silence. Slowly, his eyes softened even as his shoulders loosened in mute defeat.

"He didn't say." It wasn't a lie, nor was it full truth. Lily tilted her head at him and Sirius hurried past her, disappearing into the shadows below deck away from her following gaze.

---------------

The glow of the candles masked Remus' face in shadow as he turned to leave.

"Remus." James' voice made him stop, though Remus didn't turn back to face him immediately. "Is there anything else?"

Remus heard the implied meaning clearly, but when he turned to face James again he didn't give the answer the captain expected.

He had followed the streets to the far end of town, the end of pirates, drunks, and gossipers. The darker side of town that had wenches on the boardwalks instead of highborn ladies. Head down he had evaded them all, hiding in the shadows of the pubs to keep an ear to the stories from the drunks.

"They're afraid." His fists tightened as he spoke, but he had to say it before answering anything else. "Even the pirates speak of it in hushed whispers. The coven is calculated and purposeful, James. They're not just attacking merchant ships. They're attacking pirate ships too."

James stiffened as Remus continued. "Obliterating them all and looking for something...someone rather."

That much at least they had in common, Remus thought bitterly as he stared at James' frozen face. "They're trying to weed you out."

"Weed me out?" James' look sharpened. "So they don't know my ship?"

Remus gave him a half-pained look and James nodded with a grunt. "Or they're just making sure they have complete control. They could be sitting out in the swell right now, waiting for me to poke my head out."

The urge to comfort his friend welled up inside of Remus, but he couldn't stop. Whether it was from Sirius' bitter accusations from earlier or his own fear of what the coven might do, not to him, but to Dora, he wasn't sure. "There are at least a dozen varying stories on what those pirates are looking for or doing. And absolutely nothing on who is leading them now that Riddle is dead."

James turned and leaned his fists on the desk, growling to himself. "Perfect. We're going up against only a hint of a foe, who doesn't have a name or face." His frustration radiated from his tensed shoulders and pinched eyes to the fists balled on the desk.

Remus watched him silently, his face pinched in his own form of pain. With every piece of new information it seemed as though they were getting further away from his goal. And maybe, he thought with a burning in his stomach, maybe Sirius was right....

Darkness tinted the hope that had burned so furiously in his breast in the past days. With a rough shake of his head, Remus rid himself of Sirius' doubts. He wouldn't, couldn't, allow himself to fall into that helpless hopelessness. Not now.

James didn't look up from the candle light that coated the many maps, wax dribbling down their sides to rest on the bare scratched wood of his desk. "Anything else?" He repeated softly.

Remus swallowed, watching as James slowly rose and turned his eyes to focus on the second mate standing apart from him. The candles flickered and Remus' eyes glowed in the dim light.

"No." The words were weighted and dropped like lead in the current swirling around them, bitter on his lips and traitorous on his tongue. "Nothing."

**A/N: So love it? Hate it? Please let me know!! The next chapter won't be up for awhile for several reasons, schoolwork but mainly because of the musical which I am involved in and which has practice for three hours a day until Spring Break. Very little free time for writing, sadly. However, I will try to get working on the chapter so I can have it up as soon as possible :) In the meantime - please review and let me know what you thought :) :) :)**


	12. Allies Come in Big Sizes

**A/N: Yes I'm alive! Hopefully there are a lot of you that are still excited about this fact, as it means more chapters. I know it has been forever, and all I can do is apologize. School, stress, and did I mention school, pretty much took over my life. That and this chapter was very difficult to write. I learned a good lesson though - listen to the characters and generally things go smoother. Who would have thought? Anyway, I am back, still engrossed in this story, still planning out minor details and pretty dedicated to finishing it - so no worries about it being completely abandoned or anything. With that said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: I own the story. All characters from Harry Potter are not mine.**

Chapter 11: Allies Come in Big Sizes

James sat hunched over his desk, elbows propped and hands fisted in locks of black hair. Hazel eyes scanned the map spread in front of him, memorizing each port and boarder. His eyes tightened and a palm dropped to rub against a heavy lidded eye. With a final grunt, he pulled away from the map and leaned further back in his chair.

A slow breath relaxed his muscles into the back of the chair. Purple hues washed over his shadow and the map exhibited on the desk. His head lolled weakly back and James' eyes drooped in the dim light.

The door to the cabin slammed open, jerking James from his revere. The sound sent his body upward until he froze with a muttered curse at the figure stepping into the candle light.

"Remus. What are you doing?" James demanded, slumping back down in his chair. Agitated fingers forced his hair on end as the second mate stepped to the desk's edge.

"Have you found anything?" Remus asked, his eyes on the map instead of James' face.

With a frown James grabbed a handful of nearby papers and tossed them on top of the map, effectively hiding the distraction. Remus looked up abruptly and James tilted his head slightly.

"Not since you last asked." James kept his reply bland. A muscle twitched in Remus' jaw as he looked down.

"We're not going to find anything new here." Remus argued.

"You don't know that."

"James we've been here for over a week!" Remus slammed his fist into the table edge, his back jerked as he inhaled a long breath to calm his voice. "We should be out looking...not sitting." He attempted, keeping his voice low.

"I'm not going to charge off into the ocean not knowing whether to sail north or south, Remus." James didn't rise from the chair.

Remus gnawed at the inside of his mouth, only stopping when he felt blood swell under his lips. He swallowed hard.

"Sirius isn't back yet." He finally muttered, eyes dropping to trace the edges of the map that were still visible beyond the scattered sheets.

James looked at him from behind the shadows of his bangs. "He was supposed to be back long before sunset." He mused softly.

Remus grunted in agreement.

A frown pulled at James' lips. "Have you gone looking for him yet?"

Remus was silent and James frowned. It was doubtful Sirius would be in any real danger, he already knew the port's insides and outs after a mere couple days being docked there. When he wasn't snooping through the ships records, looking for any other hint of Riddle or Crouch that could lead them to the current leader of the coven, Sirius was keeping his ears to the continuing gossip of the town. James rubbed a hand over his face and stood, grabbing his sword belt as he walked around the desk and past Remus.

Even if Sirius was in no real danger, it couldn't hurt to find him. Or better, find out why he hadn't returned when he was expected. James turned just before the door.

"He's probably at the pub." James guessed, talking to Remus' back. The invitation was a silent one, but Remus didn't accept it. James held back a hiss of annoyance. "If we're not back in half an hour, come look for us."

It was as much of an order to join them as James could give, and the shadow that marred Remus' gaze when he finally turned was evidence that he understood.

"Half an hour, Remus." James reminded. The second-mate gave a single sharp nod, and James swept out of the cabin, buckling his belt as he left.

The streets bustled, even though the shadows of the sunset had long since disappeared below the horizon. Men and young orphans roamed the streets, even as couples disappeared behind the doors of their freshly cleaned homes. James walked briskly through the flickering light of door lanterns until he reached the corner of town. It was lit by the windows of the pub, a flood of red and yellow light burning the courtyard and casting the shadows of lonely men and willing women through the streets.

James sidestepped a drunk as the latter stumbled out the doorway spurred by the jeers of some of his friends. Silently, James slipped through the doorway into the crowded room. His eyes followed the bar at the far end of the pub, then swept around the tables until he spotted a lone, dark figure near the wall.

He maneuvered around the tables until James flanked Sirius' shoulder. He looked down at the table, bare of even a pint, then back at the brooding man.

"No drink, Sirius?" James dared to tease him.

Sirius jumped, and looked up as James dropped into the seat opposite him. He blinked once, then shook his head. "Not in the mood to get drunk...unfortunately." He added with a mutter.

Hazel eyes bore into him until Sirius averted his gaze to the sources of the happy shrieks, shouts, and laughter that reverberated against the walls and ceiling. When he looked back, James had lounged back in the chair, arms crossed and eyes still studying him.

"What are you doing?" Sirius wondered.

"Waiting for your witty remark about me being in a pub." James replied innocently, his lips quirking in a half-hearted smile.

Sirius stared back. His mouth pulled into a cross between a dim smile and a grimace. "Haven't got one." He replied. "Disappointed?" But even that lacked his normal lighthearted tease.

James shook his head once. "Worried." He replied simply, letting Sirius snort softly. "How long have you been here?"

"Couple hours." Sirius muttered as he picked at the skin of his knuckles. His frown deepened as he studied James. "James what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." The captain replied, as though it was the most obvious reason in the world.

Sirius shook his head, eyes dropping. "You don't need to watch over me like a mother hen. I don't even have a drink, I'm not wenching or getting into any fights..."

"You're sitting alone in a pub." James broke in, leaning his elbows on the edge of the table. "And I'm not here to watch over you, Sirius."

Silence dropped over them as Sirius leaned back in his chair, studying the table with unfocused eyes. "Being alone's not all bad." James heard him murmur into his shirt. Then Sirius lifted his gaze to meet James'.

"How long are you going to be here?" It wasn't a dismissal, rather the interest was finally being ignited behind Sirius' unusually dark eyes.

James shrugged a shoulder. "Where else am I supposed to be?" He inquired, cocking a single eyebrow.

Sirius tilted his head in response. Finally, he allowed his lips to pull into a wane smile. "I guess I could do with a drink..." The first mate admitted slowly.

James rose from his seat. "I'll get them. I'll even pay for yours." He was rewarded with a full smile.

"Wait 'til I tell Lily you bought me a drink." Sirius teased.

"See, there's the witty remark I expected." James smirked down at him. Sirius rolled his eyes once before James turned and made his way toward the bar, avoiding the drunks and wenches who fell in his path.

When he finally reached the bar, James leaned his forearms on the polished wood and shouldered an older pirate, who moved off with a muttered curse about pushy youngsters. James gave the old man a faint grin, then jerked his head at the bartender. The skinny man was engrossed in scrubbing a splotchy glass with a stained rag. James fought the urge to wrinkle his nose.

"Two pints." He ordered. The bartender gave him a squinted look, then tossed the cup aside and turned his back to reach for two mugs.

"Two pints, eh? Rather not make a second trip?"

The rough voice accompanied a sudden swarm of shadow that engulfed James and caused his own shadow to disappear. James craned his neck to stare at the large man who had moved next to him.

The man was not simply tall, he was a giant. Broad and built with a belly to match his enormous hands and feet. James' eyes barely reached the top of one broad shoulder. A dark beard that resembled a shabbily put together bird nest rather than any other facial hair James had seen, covered the bottom of the giant's face. Black eyes smiled down at him as James' jaw threatened to drop.

"Huh?" The grunt tumbled from his slack lips.

"Two pints. One fer now, one in advance." The giant joked with a clap to James' back that sent his chest into the edge of the bar with another grunt.

James gagged in an attempt to catch his breath, then raised his eyebrows at the man. "They're not both for me." He rotated his shoulders, his back already beginning to sting.

The giant's eyes dropped and his beard twitched as though he was frowning. "A pity. I thought maybe I foun' someone ter last a good drink with me."

Despite the disappointment of the giant's sentiment, a laugh escaped James before he could bite it back. "I highly doubt anyone could posses such a stomach."

The beady eyes glittered and the giant let out a loud guffaw that rattled the tankards the bartender had placed in front of James. The same bartender glared at each of them with a puckered grimace until James flicked him a few coins. The captain then turned, holding out a hand.

"James." He purposefully left out his last name.

His hand disappeared in the giant's large palm. "Rubeus Hagrid." The giant boomed.

James winced as Hagrid's fingers curled around his own. But a smile was already forming beyond the wince. "Should I buy you a drink, then, to make up for my lack of drinking proficiency."

Hagrid let out another loud laugh. "Aye, a drink might make up fer it!"

James' smile widened. He turned back to the bartender, who had resumed his scrubbing, though he continued to glare in Hagrid's direction.

"A drink for my friend." James ordered. The bartender scowled, then flounced off with a clear curse. James ignored him and tilted his head back toward Hagrid.

"So Hagrid, pirate or sailor?" James inquired, propping his elbow along the edge of the bar.

"Why pirate o' course." The beady eye winked at him from beyond bushy brows. "If that be what yeh are." He added the disclaimer and James chuckled.

"Sometimes." James responded.

"Aye, an' sometimes it's pleasant to be legal now an' again." Hagrid agreed with a solemn nod.

"And always unexpected." James smiled to himself. Before he could speak again, a tankard dropped near his fist, sloshing rum along his knuckles. James turned his head with a glare at the bartender who waited with a palm out.

"Pay. And move. You're blockin' the bar." He spat.

James growled under his breath, but the bartender merely returned with a glare and looked pointedly at his hand. James dropped half the price of the drink in his hand as Hagrid swiped the drink from the bar.

Before the bartender could do more than begin to splutter, James turned with his two drinks and turned away from the pub. He glanced once at Hagrid and with a smile jerked his head in invitation. In response, Hagrid followed him through the pub. James could here muttered apologies and loud curses following him like a cape. He grinned, though he did not know exactly why.

James set down the mugs on the table and Sirius grabbed his. "It's about time. What were you...doing..." His words died in his throat as Hagrid lowered himself in the final empty seat. Sirius' jaw dropped.

"Who...who are you?" Sirius demanded, eyes widening.

"Rubeus Hagrid." The giant introduced, holding out his hand. Sirius stared at the offered hand, which was bigger than his own face, and gaped again. James kicked him hard under the table until Sirius accepted the handshake.

"Sirius...Black." Sirius added after a pause.

"Yeh in the same crew?" Hagrid beamed, glancing between the two.

Sirius snorted once and let a wane smile tease his lips. "Something like that. James here is captain. He's using his influence to get me slobbering drunk, hopefully." He lifted his glass to empty air and took a long gulp. The forced flamboyance made James roll his eyes, even as he smiled.

Hagrid clapped Sirius on the back with a brotherly jest, causing the latter to splutter rum across the table. James started to grin, but felt the muscles along his back suddenly tighten. He lifted his head briefly to scan the room without moving his prying eyes caught his own, however, and most of the men were slumped over their own pints or better occupied with women. Still, James found his lips twisting into a frown as he looked back over at Sirius and Hagrid.

"A captain, eh?" Hagrid congratulated, though thankfully didn't accompany the compliment with another back slap. "And I thought yeh were jus' a lowly ship hand like myself!"

"Oh no, not James. About as unlowly as one gets." Sirius smirked against James' glare.

"And I surround myself with only the honest and modest." James baited. Sirius' eyes caught his own and the first mate let the dangerous gleam that had flamed in his eyes dim under the silent warning.

James relaxed into his chair, tasting some of the rum before addressing Hagrid. "So, Hagrid how did you come to be a pirate." It was nosy, James admitted, but he was finding that he liked the large man and was genuinely interested in the answer.

"Yes, how did you come by this noble profession of piracy?" Sirius grinned and took another gulp of the rum. James wrinkled his nose in irritation, but found himself fighting a smile at the ease with which Sirius had taken to the new member of their table.

Hagrid shrugged a shoulder, wiping a dribble of rum from his beard. "The' same way most do. Stumbled upon it. Me mum disappeared when I was young an' me dad took care o' me best he could. But I was a handful."

"Oh, I'd wager you were more than a handful." Sirius commentated with a forgiving smile. It was lost however in a loud sniff from Hagrid. It took James a long moment to realize that the giant was fighting tears. James' eyebrows lifted into his bangs as he watched Hagrid gain control of himself.

"He passed on a short while ago...then I survived on the streets..."

"Of course you did. No one would be thick enough to try and pick a fight with you." Sirius added helpfully, which earned a cross between a sniffle and a laugh from Hagrid.

"An' then a couple months ago I got a job on this ship. They needed some muscle for some upcomin' business. And I do have muscles." Hagrid pointed out with a wide smile distorted by his hanging beard.

James shook his head briefly. He liked Hagrid, found him not only friendly but honest, perhaps too honest for a pirate. But it was obvious, even without Hagrid's affirmation, that he hadn't been in the business very long.

"I'm sure yeh boys' story is more entertainin' than me own." Hagrid took a long drink from the pint.

James tensed ever so slightly, his mind already filtering the truth through practiced half lies. The words that fell from his lips, however, were, "We're reformed."

The corner of Sirius' lips quirked, but he hid it behind another sip of rum. James watched Hagrid chew over his words while his brow dipped lower.

"Re...formed? How's that?"

James bit his lip. "Well...we don't maraude...pillage...murder..."

"We're under contract." Sirius broke in, earning a sharp look from James. But even with the heady scent of rum hovering in the room, Sirius was far from dumb or drunk. Hagrid might have seemed harmless company, but even Sirius wasn't willing to take chances. "To be on our best behavior." He gave a toothy smile.

James chuckled softly at the final phrase, but it was lost in Hagrid's own thunder laugh that rattled the table.

"Will it last?" Hagrid questioned, wiping his beard with the back of his hand.

Sirius shrugged a shoulder, then tossed James a wry look. "In theory."

James shook his head, studying the barely touched rum in his own pint. He took another long gulp, the liquid burning a path down his dry throat. He swallowed back watering eyes, then looked over at Hagrid. "How long are you planning on being in port?"

"I can save you the trouble if you're too curious." Sirius broke in. "It's dull and full of nothing but withered old gossip and match-making mothers."

James ran a tongue over his dry lips. The sea was torturing them all while they poured over maps and filtered through memories in an attempt to piece together a possible course. But even with their new map they were lost. It was smarter, and safer in James' opinion, to remain in port and try to find their course, rather than guess at it at sea.

Hagrid shrugged a shoulder. "Dunno. It all depends on the captain. He's a picky one, never ports, unless good reason like now. Doesn' even attack a ship if it don' look just right."

James tilted his gaze slightly. "One ship should be just as good as another. And has just as much a possibility of loot aboard."

"I haven' looted a ship on this crew." Hagrid said slowly, downing the rest of his drink. "Like I said – the captain's a picky one."

James opened his mouth but before he could speak, Sirius let out a high pitched shout that had several heads turning toward them.

"Ow!" James whipped his head around and watched Sirius lift his hand. Something dangled from the first mate's palm and when James squinted, he realized it was a lizard. A lizard with very sharp teeth and a very hard grip.

"Oh, bad Norbert!" Hagrid scolded as he reached forward and pried the lizard from Sirius' palm, which was left with several red marks. Cupped in Hagrid's hand, its head stroked by Hagrid's finger, the lizard almost sounded like it was purring.

Sirius was rubbing his palm, sending deathly glares at the lizard now content in the company of its apparent master. "What is that?!" Sirius demanded.

"Oh him? 'S jus' Norbert. He's been with me fer years. Ain' he cute?" Hagrid crooned, more to the lizard than to Sirius, who hadn't stopped glaring.

"Yeah, haven't seen cuter." Sirius replied sarcastically. "Although there was that molting rat in France!"

James kicked him under the table again and Sirius muttered a curse under his breath. Hagrid didn't notice as he gently placed the lizard in his pocket and made to rise.

"Norbert's getting a bit antsy...'scuse me fer a second." He braced his hands on the table, making it tilt so that James had to catch his mug before it slid. The large man maneuvered around them, disappearing somewhere behind James toward the back door, the people parting around him in both shock and fear.

Sirius watched him leave, then looked back over at James, who had fixed him with a hard

look. "What? The lizard bit me, not the other way around!"

James rolled his eyes, then glanced back over his shoulder, watching as Hagrid disappeared outside. "I like him." He said suddenly.

Sirius frowned slightly. "He's already got a crew James." He reminded the captain. "And he talks too much."

"So do you." James retorted. "He could come in handy." James mused, looking back at Sirius who slumped in his chair fixing James with an aloof look.

"Yeah if the mast ever breaks he could probably row us back to shore."

James studied him with mild eyes. It was nice to hear his friend's normal wit and humor return, even with the possible consequences.

"People change crews all the time..." He continued slowly. Sirius rolled his eyes, then froze. His hands gripped the edge of the table as the muscles in his shoulders clenched. James caught the sudden change and frowned. "Sirius, what -"

"He's here." Sirius' lips barely moved as he hissed the warning. Even as he wondered which "he" Sirius was referring to, James felt his blood turn to ice. He shifted in his seat to look toward the front of the pub.

A man stood at the doorway, flanked by several other men who looked far grittier than their leader. His clothes, while ordinary, were both cleaner and better fitted than the clothes that James wore on his own back. Oiled black hair covered a pale face as the man surveyed the room. James stared until the man's steely eyes swept over him.

James averted his face to the wall as recognition smoldered in his mind. "The count." He looked up and met Sirius' worried dark eyes. "That's Count Lestrange."

Sirius knuckles popped as he fisted his hands in agitation. "What is he doing here?" He whispered harshly, eyes tilting to follow the count as he began to move through the pub floor. The movement was eerily familiar, except that the count neither talked, nor touched, anyone. His face was set, a firm goal in mind.

"I don't know..." James murmured. His eyes narrowed slightly as Lestrange stopped by the bar, leaning over the wood to mutter toward the bartender, who leaned forward in return.

"What are the odds that he would be here..." Sirius hissed, shifting his head to look at James then back at Lestrange. The bartender was gesturing now, lips moving too fast for Sirius to read, then he pointed in their direction. James felt his pounding blood pause as Lestrange turned to look over at him.

"Oh bad..." James didn't need Sirius' observation as Lestrange turned fully from the bar, then gestured to one of his men. Even as he whispered to his lackey, Lestrange kept his eyes on James.

"We should leave. Now." Sirius hissed. "Are you listening to me?" He nudged James' elbow, causing the other man to jerk from his frozen revere.

"No. We can't. It'll look too suspicious." James kept his voice low, averting his eyes as Lestrange started to move away from the bar.

"Too suspicious? If we stay - "

"If we go they'll follow us." James grabbed Sirius' forearm, his tight grip cut off the first mate's argument. "Follow us back to _the Marauder_. I am not going to lead him back to Lily."

Sirius swallowed hard. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lestrange walking toward them, a shark slipping closer to his prey.

"He might not recognize us." James whispered. "We're older."

"If we could recognize him, he could recognize us." Sirius insisted. "Besides I'm not sure he's looking for two sixteen year old kids anyway."

James lifted his eyes sharply, as Sirius adjusted his own grip to dig his nails into James' arm. "What if he's one of the ones looking for James Potter? What if that's what the bartender just told him?"

"I didn't give the bartender my name." James hissed back, feeling the dark presence inching nearer.

"But you gave Hagrid your name. If the bartender overheard..."

"Only my first name."

"Your first name could be just as much a death sentence as the rest of it!" Sirius ran the words together in a swift exhale, his lips humming as a pair of dark boots stopped a foot from their table.

"Gentlemen." The smooth voice caused both Sirius and James to lift their heads, to look up into the face of Lestrange. The man stood over them, his lips pulling away from yellowing teeth in a twisted form of a smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

Sirius released James' arm and with a quick glance at the slightly pale face of his captain, he leaned back in his chair releasing a loud sigh that drew the attention of both Lestrange and his men. "Of course not. Now if I'd had a voluptuous woman in my lap, it would have been a different story." He smirked upwards, and tilted his head carelessly to one side. Eyes glittering Sirius reached for his mug of rum and downed the rest of the contents, looking for all the world a tipsy fool.

Lestrange's brow lifted, but the smile stayed in place. "I would never be one to deprive another man of a woman." He replied casually.

Sirius set down his mug and crossed his arms. His lip curled ever so slightly as he continued to demand the attention of the count. "No honest man would, Mr...?" He waited purposefully.

"Count." Lestrange corrected.

"Mr. Count, then?" James had to bite his tongue to keep silent in the face of Sirius' blatant baiting.

"No. Count is my title." Lestrange answered with strained patience as he leaned a casual hand on the back of Hagrid's empty chair.

"A count?" Sirius feigned surprise while his brows rose beyond his bangs. "You here that?" He gestured toward Lestrange while giving James a quick look. "A count. Here. I'd have thought you'd have found yourself a higher class place to relax than a pub full of pirates." Sirius continued, earning a growl from one of the men behind Lestrange.

Lestrange waved the man silent and resumed smiling down at Sirius. "I'm not only a count, I happen to also be a very powerful pirate."

"Pirate." James repeated. The group's gaze shifted to him and he lifted his chin ever so slightly. "An interesting combination." He finished casually, though with less aloofness than the verbal sparing Sirius had been engrossed in. The combination of pirate and count made the uncomfortable crawl around his throat tighten like a noose.

"I am a man of many interesting traits." Lestrange consoled. "And you appear to be a man of few words." He fluttered a hand toward Sirius. "Letting your friend do most of the talking."

Sirius let the slight barb wash over him as he flashed James a fake half-drunk smile, a hidden reassurance. James shifted his eyes but kept his face pointedly away from Lestrange as though the other man was not worth his full attention.

"Three words are known to mean more than a hundred." James reasoned, tracing his mug with a finger that shook, though thankfully no one noticed.

Lestrange let out a soft snort of laughter. "I concede to your point. As to your other inquiry," Here Lestrange shifted his attention back to Sirius. "Occasionally one has to sink to a lower level of society to reach the true pinnacle."

"Besides," Lestrange's grin shifted into a toothy smirk. "It is easier to get rich as a pirate. And one never has to deal with the technicalities that others in the social courts pride themselves on – such as morality and law." Lestrange dropped into the empty seat as his cronies joined him in a laugh that grated like nails against James' skin.

"Oh yes. I don't recollect ever being pressured by morality and English law as a pirate." Sirius mocked under the laughter. He gave a quick glance to the doorway, found it empty, and looked back at Lestrange.

"A powerful pirate, eh? I don't recall seeing your face followed by a large reward." Sirius put in as the laughter subsided. "Of course, they probably left off your count title." He amended with a dumb smile that eased the tension rising behind Lestrange's eyes.

James almost kicked Sirius under the table. The shift of Lestrange's arm on the table stopped him, as the count's sleeve pulled up to reveal half of a tattoo seeped into the skin of his wrist. The ink eye stared back at him accusingly as James jerked his gaze back to Lestrange's face.

"I work more behind the scenes, you see." Lestrange explained, linking his fingers across his chest. "I let the more obvious credit go to others. But that does not lessen my power by any means."

Sirius snorted sharply. "Hey, if it were me, I'd want my name splashed across every wanted poster and port, just to rub in the faces of the rich and pompous." He spread his hands in front of him, beckoning agreement from the silent curtain of pirates behind Lestrange. Then he hooked his hands behind his head, relaxing back in his chair.

"Why advertise your power, when you could slip behind and slit their throat without their knowledge?" Lestrange challenged with a twist of his lips. Sirius' breath caught for the barest of moments, then he forced a laugh from his lips.

"A sense of humor..." _Lovely_, Sirius added silently.

Lestrange chuckled, a grating sound that clawed its way from his throat. "Indeed." He agreed. Lestrange shifted then to look at James. "It was how my old master worked, you see. Let them look for him, while we slipped around unnoticed. You can do so much more when people are looking ahead for a threatening ship, instead of behind them at an apparently innocent one."

Old master...James chewed over the phrase, even as he kept his eyes unwavering under Lestrange's scrutiny. And the 'we' indicating more than one ship...if the tattoo hadn't been enough to convince James that Lestrange had been part of Riddle's coven, along with Crouch, than that certainly was. And if he was part of the coven, then that meant Sirius had been right. Lestrange was looking for the man sitting barely a foot away.

"So what, the old trick got boring after awhile?" Sirius prodded jokingly, though James could tell the first mate's thoughts were running quickly in the same direction as his own.

"A complication came up." Lestrange spoke, his voice strained slightly.

"Complication?" Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "What'd your old master retire?"

Lestrange fixed the first mate with a hard look even as the pirate's behind him shifted hands toward waiting weapons. "He was killed. By a bastard pirate not fit to hold a ship, let alone a sword to Captain Tom Riddle." He spat, his patience and manners falling away in favor of venom. Sirius bit his tongue to keep from wincing fully. James felt his lungs burn with the breath he held in.

"Captain Tom Riddle..." Sirius repeated, eyes never wavering from Lestrange's face. He forced a good natured grin on his mouth, pulling his mask further over his face. "Him I've heard of."

The pirate count stared at him for a long moment, before allowing his shoulders to relax and his body to straighten to it's normal superior stature. He flicked the sleeves of his shirt to rid himself of the flared temper.

"We are currently in search of the man. He'll die by one of our swords soon enough." Lestrange spoke, his voice mimicking the ease with which someone explained the weather.

Lestrange turned abruptly in his chair to shift his gaze to James. "I'm sorry, you must think me rude or forward." His tone sickeningly polite, as though it were two dignitaries he spoke to rather than two supposed pirates. The skin around Lestrange's eyes tightened as his dark eyes smoldered. "Having come over and talked so freely, and not even introduced myself fully. Or asked your name."

The phrase fell, the trump card on the deck as James internally fought every muscle that strained to escape, while every thought scrambled to find coherent speech. That was inside, however. Outside, James' face was smooth as polished marble, his eyes did not waver nor jump, his arms did not move from his chest. In fact, the only aspect of James that changed, was the steady rise and fall of his chest, caused by a seemingly calm breath.

"James."

The name finally emerged from his lips, a confident rumble. As though the man that gave the information did not care how it was taken, as though having such a name was unimportant. Lestrange's mouth twitched and Sirius tightened his fists behind his head, but did not rise.

"An interesting coincidence." Lestrange mulled aloud.

"Really." James said.

"Yes. You see the man we're looking for happens to share a similar first name as you." Lestrange rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Do you perhaps have a last name that goes along with it, James?"

"Unfortunately I don't have the honor of sharing more than a first name with anyone." Here James finally allowed his own lips to curl into a bared teeth smirk, even as his eyes held cool and unyielding. "I'm the same as any other orphan bastard. But," James' eyes narrowed, his daring warred with self control, and won in a steely reply. "I'm sure you can relate."

--------------

Remus scuffed his feet in the dirt path which turned the edges of his black boots a faint gray. He glared down at the boots as they led him up the street and to the front steps of the pub. He stopped just under the lamplight and tilted his head back. He could see shadows moving, could hear the laughter and passion that echoed from each doorway and window.

He shuddered, though it wasn't due to cold or even fear. Remus turned in the butter light, and looked back down the street he'd come down. He didn't have to walk in. There was hardly a possibility that Sirius and James would be in any sort of trouble. This was just James trying to mend bridges, by making sure Sirius was good and drunk before the love-blind idiot came into their midst and could no longer offend.

Remus ground his teeth together, shoulders shaking. He rid himself of the thoughts with a swift shake of his head. James wasn't the enemy – nor was Sirius even if the first mate's blunt words had lately been picking at Remus' final nerve. Remus let out a hiss of breath, then squared his shoulders, turned and mounted the steps.

He did not realize he had been holding his breath until it rushed from him as he stepped through the door frame. The scents and sounds bombarded him and he almost stumbled backwards until another body coming inside the pub shoved him further in. Remus caught himself against the bar and was rewarded with a glare from a man standing nearby.

After he righted himself, Remus moved his head, eyes scanning the room for any sign of his friends. He had swept the room several times, irritation growing under his breast with every passing moment, when a clumped group near the wall moved. And he saw them.

Sirius looked like a causal drunk, enjoying nothing more than the atmosphere of the pulsing room. It would have fooled anyone in the pub, except that even from the distance Remus could see the tautness in his friend's muscles and could tell Sirius was far from relaxed.

James had his back toward Remus, but that wasn't what fully caught the second mate's attention. It was instead the man that stood around them. Six large men in grimy clothes and tattoos that were unfamiliar.

Nerves crawled up his spine as Remus moved along the bar. Sirius' lips were moving, but he didn't appear to be talking to James. As Remus continued to slide up along the bar, he glimpsed a third member sitting at their table. Unfortunately for Remus, the body of one of the six blocked a view of the stranger's face.

Remus shifted and began to pick his way casually through the tables. He paused every so often, turning as if engrossed in some card game or distracted by some lady, then continued on his arch through the room. The group did not notice him as he picked his way around the tables to finally stop against the far wall. He could see Sirius full face now, and James broad back. The stranger was still mostly blocked, but he could better see each of the pirates who flanked him. Remus' hand shifted to rest on his sword belt, fingers tightening as he took in the face of each pirate. Then one of the pirates moved, and Remus saw the face of the third occupant.

His throat clenched in the same instant. Burning ice froze his blood, stilled his heart, and caused a slack hand to drop from the ready position on his sword. The eyes...the face...but especially that twisted smile. He knew him....he _knew_ _that man_!

Fury roared into his chest, blood boiled and pulsed from his heart to his twitching fingertips. Remus' face flushed red as his feet led him steps closer to the group. His arm grazed the wall and he paused one final time, his eyes only on the man who leaned closer to James, a leering cat springing his trap.

Remus didn't see Sirius' eyes suddenly jerk up to land on his face, nor how the first mate's lips moved in silent warning far too late. He did heart James' final word before the Count surged to his feet in a sudden fit of anger. And Remus lunged, a dog held to long, whose rope shattered as he tackled the count to the floor, hurling curses as he rolled into the flurry of feet.

A shout rang out and then a scream, but Remus only felt pain as the count shoved him off and sent his shoulder into the leg of a chair. Spots jumped in his vision, but he could see clear enough to grab Lestrange's wrist before he could plunge a dagger into Remus' stomach. He brought his knee up into the count's chest, before punching his face. The count screamed with fury, blood seeping from a crunched nose. Lestrange swung his elbow, clipping Remus' jaw and rolled on top of the other man.

Sirius was halfway out of his seat when Remus tackled Lestrange, but he was shoved sharply back by another body slamming into him. The chair broke under the combined weight and Sirius felt his head spin as a punch connected with his cheek. His arms came up, knocking into the pirate's windpipe and making him gag. Sirius shoved him off with a kick to the stomach before lunging from the debris of the chair. In the same motion he swept up his empty mug and swung it in the face of the pirate. Glass shattered and Sirius felt some of it slice through his hand even as it tore at the pirate's cheeks and eyes.

James fell sideways from the table as it collapsed under the weight of the pirate Sirius had dislodged. He grabbed the next pirate as he went for Sirius, catching a punch to his eye for his efforts. He caught the collar of the pirate's shirt and swung him into another table, which collapsed under his weight. The men at the table yelled curses and flung the man back into James' half turned shoulder, causing the captain to swerve and barely catch his hold on another pirate. The pirate punched, but James ducked and with a quick step sent his shoulder into the man's chest, knocking him off his feet.

With a strangled gasp, James fell back from another punch, shaking his head. Blood dripped in front of his left eye, distorting his vision even as a body slammed him into the wall. He gasped as his ribs screamed from the fist that followed the body. James swung out another fist, missed and was rewarded with a second set of fists slamming him back into the first body. James ducked and the punch meant for him knocked the other pirate flat. James dodged away from the next blow, eyes darting from his opponent to the others.

From his bleary vision James could see Sirius thrown against a table by two of the remaining pirates. Another was on the floor, not getting up, but one was assisting the count in pounding Remus to the floor. The second mate swung out with a leg, clipping the stranger pirate with the heel of his boot, then tackling the count around the stomach. A chair shattered under them and Remus rolled on top of the count to rip at Lestrange's face with his clawing hands.

James felt another punch knock him sideways into another fist fight that had spawned from their own brawl. Shouts echoed, women screamed, and James almost sagged to the floor as he felt someone grab his arm and another fist hit his stomach. He had lost track of the pirates or how many their were. All he knew was that there were too many of them, and not enough of him. His head snapped sideways and he tasted rusted iron in his mouth.

Sirius struggled against the grip of two pirates, fists and legs swung and connected against arms and legs too packed with muscle to flinch. He tore with his nails at one man's grip before finally digging his teeth into a grabbing arm. A yell and the arm fell away, only to be replaced with two muscled hands around his throat. The grip tightened, crushing his windpipe as Sirius gagged for breath. His fingers tore at the man's arm but to no affect as his vision began to blur. One hand moved along the table, desperately trying to reach the dagger in his boot.

And then the grip vanished and a crash echoed in Sirius' ears as he rolled on his side, gasping and touching his throat where bruises were already beginning to form. He gagged and lifted his head to see Hagrid grab the man punching James and throw him through the nearby window.

James twisted out of his captors grip and landed a hard punch, sending the man deeper into another tangle of limbs. He turned and winced as he saw a pirate swing at him. A giant hand grabbed the man's arm and swung him backward, leaving a earsplitting crack to fester in the din of the pub.

Another pirate rushed forward but Hagrid whirled at the last moment and brought a fist up, knocking the man flat with a single punch. James sagged slightly against the wall as Hagrid dispatched another pirate.

"Told you he would come in handy." He muttered from bloody lips to Sirius who staggered up to the table. He winced, and placed a hand on his ribs. Sirius turned his head at the massive fight that had turned the pub into a madhouse of broken chairs, tables, blood and bodies.

"Can we leave now?" Sirius asked. James nodded sharply once then turned to the giant who was shrugging off a random pirate who had attempted to succeed where all of Lestrange's men had failed.

"Hagrid! Come on!" The giant did not even question the order as he pushed a path. James limped forward but Sirius stopped, whipping his head around as Remus sent the count into another chair that snapped. Sirius muttered a curse and ran back toward them even as Remus leapt for the half-unconscious count.

Sirius caught him around the chest before Remus could reach him. The second-mate fought against the grip, striking out with his elbows.

"Let me go!"

"We're leaving! Come on!"

"No! Let me go, Sirius!"

"Damn it Remus I'm not going to knock you out again!" Sirius dragged the unwilling man through the bodies that were falling back into the space Hagrid had cleared. Sirius shoved his shoulder and Remus through the throng and out the door. The second mate fell down the stairs to land in the dirt at the bottom as Sirius staggered over him.

"Move!" Sirius ordered, dragging him up from the ground with a quick glance over his shoulder at the pub. The shouts were getting louder and the sounded more like orders than random curses. If Lestrange got his bearings about him, they'd be hunted through the street like dogs.

"Sirius! Remus!" James yelled down the street. Sirius shoved Remus down the street as he ran. When they reached James, he turned and ran up the street, the other three following in this wake.

Sirius kept his eyes on Remus, who stumbled slightly as he ran, his head turning back until Sirius forcefully shoved him forward through the alley that James had dodged down.

"The captain's not gonna be happy wit' me." Hagrid muttered as they turned sharply down another alley in the maze. "Don' think I'll be welcomed back on the ship..." James stopped abruptly at a crossing, glancing around as he placed a hand to his ribs.

"Lestrange was your captain?!" Sirius almost shrieked, but remembered just in time to keep his voice low.

"Aye." Hagrid seemed only slightly miserable though. "Or was."

Sirius looked up at the giant who had prevented his own death. "Overgrown peacock, ain't he?" He attempted. Hagrid almost laughed, but James shushed them and they started running again.

They slunk down several more alleys before James crept into an abandoned barn and leaned against the wall, holding his side. Every time he breathed it felt like his body was on fire. He grit his teeth and glanced over at his friends. In the dim lit room he couldn't make out their injures anymore than he could see his own hand. He ran a palm across his mouth, feeling something wet come off his lips.

"That was Lestrange." Remus growled, his voice and temper returning.

"Oh really, didn't notice that." Sirius bit out, rubbing his neck again.

"We should have killed him!"

"He's part of the coven." James whispered, cutting off Remus' anger. The captain panted for a moment, then looked over at their dark forms. "I saw the tattoo."

Remus was silent, then he whirled on Hagrid. "You were in the coven too!" He almost lunged forward, anger still scalding through his veins. Sirius shoved him backward into the opposite wall.

"That man is the reason you're still alive." Sirius spat. "So keep your accusations to yourself, Remus!"

Remus snarled something incoherent before loud shouts from the street reached them. James gestured for them to follow him as they left the barn and rushed back into the shadows of an alley. They followed one long wall, pressing their backs against the cool wood to keep themselves in the shadows.

"Hagrid, you were on Lestrange's ship for how long?" James hissed under his breath, his head swimming. He placed a hand against the wall to steady himself.

"A month 'r two, like I said."

"What have you been doing?"

"Sweepin' up the coast. Lookin' for..."

"Me." James finished with a slight grin. "Rethinking that drink I bought you?"

"'Course not." Hagrid said, puffing his chest out slightly. "I like yeh a lot better than the captain."

James almost laughed, but caught himself. They avoided the main streets and took another alley that led them closer to the port. Adrenaline was still pumping through his veins at the thought that Lestrange could be looking for him or that he could accidentally find _the Marauder._

James frowned suddenly. "Hagrid, you said Lestrange doesn't normally port....but there has to be one place he does."

"Sure."

Sirius peaked around Hagrid's body to glance at James. "Lestrange would want to port with the rest of the coven...right?"

"The only port I've ever seen 'im port at regularly is Looe Island." Hagrid said slowly. "I dunno about any coven, though. He did meet friends there. Often."

"Friends with the same goal and tattoo." Sirius muttered to himself."

"Could you get us there?" James asked urgently

Hagrid nodded. "Certain I could."

James grinned up at him. "Then you've got yourself a new crew."

Hagrid beamed and reached out a hand, grabbing James' and shaking until the latter's teeth rattled and his ribs cried out. "Thank you!" He repeated several times before Sirius shushed him.

"You don't need anything from the ship, do you?" James questioned, inching around another corner into the final alleyway.

"Nah. Got everthin' righ' here."

"Good. 'Cause we're getting out of this port. Now."

"Finally!" Sirius breathed, following him into the alley.

**So thoughts? I will be posting the next chapter very soon (I know you're all saying 'we've heard that before' but the chapter is done, just needs editing I promise!). I will also be replying to reviews from the last chapter (right after I post this actually) that I unfortunately didn't get a chance to reply to. My apologies for that. So all of you who are still reading this story (hopefully that's most of you) and don't hate me too much, please give me a review!!! I still love them!!!!**


	13. Of Whispers and Fists

**A/N: This chapter would have been up sooner if not for one character who decided that he hadn't had his say in this whole story and that I'd better sit down and rewrite half the chapter so he could have it. Needless to say I did, and I think it's better for it. Before I send you off there is one thing several people are wondering about what other Harry Potter characters might make their appearance. I don't want to tell you because it might ruin some of the surprises, but people have been especially asking about Dumbledore. Dumbledore is not going to appear as "Dumbledore" in the story. But I realized as I was working on this chapter, and answering these questions, that he kind of already has appeared in one form, you just have to look for him. See if you know what I mean after you read the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter (that being the characters). The story however is my own.**

**Enjoy**

Chapter 12: Of Whispers and Fists

James stumbled up the boarding plank, throwing out a hand to catch himself on a lower rigging. With a grunt he dragged himself upright, eyes scanning the upper deck. The few crew members that remained on the deck despite the late hour turned, startled by the sudden appearance of their captain. James felt rather than saw the three man follow him onto the ship as he whipped his head around to address a group of nearby men.

"Mitz, Nathan, Turner. Get the rest of the crew on deck and ready to sail. The rest of you start getting the ship out of this dock. Now!" The men moved instantly, scrambling along the deck to their tasks as sails dropped and riggings tightened.

James reached out to catch one man's upper arm. "John, I need you to stay at the wheel. Keep her steady and along the coast. Understand?"

"Sure, captain." John shifted his gaze, taking in Sirius' panting breath and Remus' bloody cheek. "Someone after you, captain?"

"No I just enjoy running headlong through side alleys." James retorted, giving John a swift smack on the back of his head. "Now go!"

John scurried across the deck as Hagrid shoved the boarding plank away and straightened to his full height. Any crew member already on deck stopped to stare at the giant who placed Sirius, Remus, and James in full shadow. James was in no mood to make introductions, but Sirius managed to mutter out names before snapping at the crew to get back to their jobs.

The ship jerked under his feet and James tightened his grip on a coarse rope. His ribs ached and he could feel the blood already beginning to dry against his forehead. With a half wince, he turned toward the newest member of their crew. "Hagrid, what direction is Looe Island?"

"Southwest from 'ere."

James nodded once. "Right. John!" James lifted his voice over the movement of the crew. "South along the coast." The shadow at the wheel nodded his understanding as the ship inched away from the dock.

"We stick to the coastline, hope for fair winds and some fog. If Lestrange tries to follow he'll expect us to head toward open water." James muttered to himself.

Sirius grunted once before tenderly touching his bleeding palm. Remus made no comment. Instead he turned to stare back toward the town. His hands clenched the railing, anchoring himself to the ship even as his legs shook.

The ship emerged from the inlet port, the calm waters pulling it steadily out to sea while the lower sails strained against their riggings, full with sea wind. They cleared the shallower waters and John spun the wheel as the upper sails dropped and filled. The ship pulled southward, drifting into the darkness and away from the flickering lights of the town.

James released the breath he'd been holding only after he could no longer see any sign of the glowing town. He let his weight lean fully on the riggings and rail, his body yearning to collapse from the sudden lack of adrenaline and the blood stained exhaustion. Dimly James knew he should call for Cook to come and look over his friends' wounds. And that he should seek out Lily. But James could not bring his body to move from the rail.

Luckily, Mitz had had the foresight to alert Cook when he had been collecting men from below. Cook emerged from the lower deck, bandages in bulging pockets, with a bottle of rum in one hand. Lily followed in his wake, still fully dressed though her hair danced wildly around her worry creased face.

Cook glanced once at James, then nodded his head to Lily, before going to Sirius. He ignored the soft protest from the first mate and with surprisingly gentle fingers caught Sirius' bloody hand. James could see the uncomfortable tension rising in Sirius' face, but turned his own eyes downward to the woman standing before him.

Lily's gaze darted across his face, down his body, and back to his eyes. Her hands shook slightly, and James could see her green eyes flicker with the war that raged within: whether to demand to know what had happened or to bandage his wounds as Cook had instructed. Lily stepped up to him and lifted her hand to trace the cut along his eyebrow. James almost flinched back, but her touch was gentle and instead he tilted his head against her palm, welcoming the coolness it brought to his forehead.

"Yer captain can handle himself." Hagrid's rich voice was meant to be a comfort, but it so startled Lily that she dropped her hand and whipped around to face the newcomer. Her body stiffened for a moment, then she leaned her head back to take in the giant before her.

"Wh-who are you?" She wondered.

"Lily, this is Rubeus Hagrid. Hagrid, Lily Evans." James introduced. Lily faltered a moment, then took the hand that Hagrid offered.

Lily slanted her gaze back at James, who gave a nonchalant shrug that was ruined by a hiss of pain. "We met him at the pub." James continued, as Lily moved to feel his ribs with feather-light fingers. "I thought it only fair to bring him with us after he gave us a little help."

"A little help?" Sirius pulled his hand away from Cook, who chastised him for moving. "He saved our asses."

Lily looked at Sirius, then over her shoulder at Hagrid, who was protesting about how it was nothing, then back to James, who did not speak. Lily gnawed at her lip and continued to check his ribs. Finally she asked, "What happened?"

"Why don't you ask Remus." Sirius suggested, shoving away Cook's examining fingers to glare at Remus' back.

The second mate whirled from the rail, eyes flashing. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're the one that started the fight." Sirius accused, pushing past Lily and James to face the second mate.

Remus bared his teeth, stepping forward. "It was the count! He would've attacked you -"

"But he hadn't." Sirius pointed out. "He hadn't attacked us, in fact we were doing a fairly good job of deferring such actions until _you_ tackled him to the ground."

Remus had heard James bait the fire just before he had attacked the count. He had seen Lestrange rise in anger. The count's next move could have easily been to send his lackeys after the two ambushed men. "How long do you think you could have continued that charade with him, Sirius?" Remus demanded hotly. "I just attacked first instead of second!"

"You attacked for revenge." Sirius snarled. "You attacked him because you wanted to. Because it would make your guilty conscious feel better!"

Remus' fists tightened, knuckles turned white under already caking blood as his hackles rose. "You don't understand." His hiss was soft.

"Don't understand? Do you think, Remus, that you are the only one who has ever lost someone?" Sirius challenged, shaking with fury. His voice pitched with bitter laughter. "Or the only one ever separated from someone they love? You're a fool! Lily and her father were separated for six months. By us! Liz lost both her parents. My own mother abandon...I lost my own mother! And you think I don't understand?" Sirius spat, ignoring the audience flanking them on either side who were unable to stop the verbal venom that flew between the two men.

"That is not the same." Remus discarded. "Your mother didn't even love you, Sirius." The words that slipped out next surprised even him. "She was a whore."

Sirius stiffened. Then his mouth curled in a sneer. "So was Dora."

There was half a breath of frozen silence. Then Remus jumped for Sirius' throat, tackling him to the deck. Sirius twisted underneath him, dislodging Remus, only to jump at the second mate's stomach. Sirius shoved his fist into Remus' cheek just before Remus kicked out with his leg. Sirius rolled over with a grunt and Remus tore at the dark haired man's shirt until a pair of hands jerked him backward. Another set of hands dragged Sirius away as both men continued to spit and claw at the other.

"That's enough!" James yelled. The crew rocked back on their heels, eyes wide and mouths dropped. Lily stood frozen at the rail and even Cook seemed lost for words. James tightened his grip on the thrashing first mate, holding back a hiss as his ribs were jarred. "Sirius, Remus. My cabin. Now."

Hagrid loosened his grip around Remus, only to have the latter lunge for Sirius.

"Now!" James' order froze the second mate in his lunge. Eyes rolled to him and Remus staggered from Hagrid's grip with a snarl even as he turned sharply toward James' cabin. Mitz let go of Sirius' other arm as James shoved Sirius in the same direction. The first mate roughly shrugged the captain's grip from the back of his neck and stalked across the deck.

James ignored the gaping mouths of the crew and did not spare a glance toward Lily for reassurance. Instead he swept into his cabin behind Sirius and let the door slam.

From just inside the doorway, James could see Sirius and Remus facing off again. Muscles bunched, teeth barred in grating growls from barely feet apart. Sirius' fists clenched and released. Remus took a sliding step toward him, eyes narrowing. Yet they did not touch one another, did not even speak.

"I said enough." Sirius and Remus whipped around. Eyes blazed; guilty, angry, hating, and accusing, all boring into him. James could see argument forming and he narrowed his eyes, freezing the argument on their lips. Sirius twisted his gaze away, mouth moving in half whispered curses, but Remus' glare did not abate. James' jaw tightened and his mouth twisted into a deeper frown.

"Enough of your fighting and bickering." James finally said. "I know this consumes you...I know it's your salvation or damnation whether we find Dora or not." He directed at Remus, whose face drained cold under the blazing eyes of his captain.

"I know you do not believe she's even alive. That we're insane for going into more trouble instead of away from it." James shifted his gaze. The first mate did not look at him for a long moment, then twisted half his face from shadow to meet James' eyes.

"I know that." James' voice lacked any begging, any plead. It was only order that seeped from the cords of his words. "But I cannot do this alone."

"I am trying to find Dora and simultaneously figure out where and who and how." James' voice lifted, echoing into the rafters. "I am trying to keep a coven of vengeful pirates off our backs and our sides and our fronts! While _you_ two hiss like wet, jilted cats at one another!"

"You need to stop wallowing." James ordered, looking between them. "Stop doubting me. Stop fighting one another. I need you both, _together_, at my side. Or get the hell off my ship."

Silence followed his ultimatum, booming louder than the words through the shadowed room. Sirius grit his teeth, biting the inside of his jaw until blood pooled in his mouth. Remus rubbed his bruised knuckles, digging nails into his palms with the action.

"Is that understood." James demanded.

Silence and then...

"Yes...captain." Sirius breathed tightly. James glanced at him, then at Remus who lifted his eyes enough only to mimic Sirius' words.

"Yes, captain."

James exhaled, then jerked his head toward the door. "Go see Cook and get cleaned up."

Neither moved for a breath of a moment. Then Remus shifted forward, eyes never drifting toward Sirius as he brushed past James. The door closed in his escaping wake, leaving the moon stretched shadows to cover the captain and first mate.

Sirius purposefully moved slow, each step hard on the floor. He stopped when he was level with James' shoulder, pausing as though he waited for something, though his eyes stayed unfocused.

"Sirius..." James whispered, but his tongue could not force any more words from beyond his cracked lips.

The silence held as neither man moved. James was aware of every nerve in his body, down to the throbbing of his left side. He tightened his muscles against wavering even as Sirius sucked in a slow breath.

"Are you ready to die yet, James?" James' head whipped around, wide eyes falling on Sirius who had moved closer to the door, his back a shield to James' glaring eyes. The question dug at James' skin, clawed it's way into his chest and ripped at his heart as the muscle pounded through each second of silence. Finally the Sirius looked over his shoulder. His dark eyes smoldered.

"Because I'm certainly not."

------------

Remus swept down the corridor, shadows leaping at his heels. He did not see the crew member in his path, who was shoved into the wall as the second mate continued down the hall. The man yelled after him, but Remus did not hear and did not turn back. Remus' breath came in rushed pants as he dodged down the corridor, barely registering the cool wetness of blood on his shirt, which he could not remember if was his.

An iron grip came down on his upper arm, jerking him to a stop. He almost threw off the hand, expecting it to be Sirius following him, or James. But it was Hagrid's face he found himself looking into.

The giant had obviously gotten the better of the fight. Excepting a bit of blood on his knuckles, which Remus did not think was the giant's own, and his tussled clothing Hagrid looked fairly unblemished. Certainly not appearing as though he had just been in a fight that had erupted into a brawl encompassing the entire pub.

At the thought, Remus felt his ears burn and he dropped his eyes to the floor. Sirius' words echoed within him, spurred by James' speech. Remus shook his head abruptly. No, he wasn't being selfish – if he hadn't been there it would have been seven against two. Sirius and James could be dead if he hadn't...

If he hadn't attacked the count. Sirius' bitter voice broke into his swirling thoughts. _You attacked for revenge_. Remus shook his head hard enough to send his vision fuzzy for a moment.

"Yeh all right?" Hagrid's interruption caused Remus to look up. It took another moment for the second mate to remember where he was. When he did, he swiftly pulled his arm from Hagrid's loose grip.

"I'm fine." He stressed through a tight jaw.

Hagrid didn't look as though he believed him, but Remus didn't particularly care at the moment who believed him. _I did what was right_, he convinced himself, shoving Sirius' argument to the side.

Remus took a step and found that Hagrid's body blocked most of the hall. Remus lifted his head, eyes narrowed. "Could you move?" He demanded. All he wanted was to hide in his room until dawn broke. Or until they reached this port that Hagrid seemed to know. Sirius hadn't slept in the room for days and Remus held no illusions that the first mate would start again tonight. If he made it to his room he would be assured solitude and sanctuary.

Hagrid didn't move. Instead he tilted his head to look closer at Remus. Under the dark gaze Remus felt his body twitch.

"Please." The word was not mirrored by a polite tone, instead it was practically hissed through clenched teeth.

But Hagrid still did not move and Remus knew it would have been a hopeless effort to try and push past the giant. Remus crossed his arms, trying to look as imposing as one could while craning his neck back slightly. "Do you want something?"

Hagrid nodded once. "Cook, I guess that's his name, righ'?" Remus bobbed his head once. "Well Cook tol' me to tell yeh to come see him after James finished tearing yeh one." Hagrid froze for a moment, then blubbered. "Those were his exact words. I swear."

Remus lifted an eyebrow at the disclaimer. "Sounds like something Cook would say." Remus grunted. He blinked once at the realization that he'd spoken aloud and then again at how easily the words had slipped out.

Hagrid's beard pulled and Remus assumed that was an indication of a smile. "Aye. I like 'em."

"Most do." Remus answered before he could stop himself.

Hagrid nodded once. He paused for a long moment then spoke again. "Hagrid." He left off his first name, assuming that from all the other introductions, that Remus had heard it before.

Remus stared at him for a long moment, eyes boring into the giant's. Finally his face relaxed into the lines of exhaustion rather than the scowl that had tainted his face. "Remus." He offered.

Hagrid smiled down at him, then gestured. "Cook's said he'd be in the galley." Hagrid informed him, moving slightly out of the way. Remus still had to hug the wall as he went by, but he made it and started toward the galley. He heard boards creaking behind him and glanced over his shoulder to find Hagrid following him. Remus almost stopped to question him, but he was already in the doorway of the galley by then and Cook was facing him with a frown.

"Well he didn't have to drag yah." Cook's voice was low with disappointment. Remus ignored it and sat down hard on the bench. He lifted a arm that held a ripped sleeve and a deep cut.

"Do whatever you have to and let me go." He bit out.

Cook lifted an eyebrow, but held back a comment as he tore the sleeve further. Cook dabbed the long cut with a rag damp with rum. It burned the wound and Remus barely bit back the hiss. Instead he shifted his eyes to the large man who had followed him into the galley.

"Are you a lost puppy?" Remus questioned, though his voice lacked any malice from his earlier argument.  
Hagrid shook his head. "No. Jus' thought maybe we needed to get on better footin'."

Better footing? Remus frowned and then remembered what he had said while they ran through the alleys. He had accused this man of being in league with Lestrange, being in the coven. And then had almost attacked him. Remus almost groaned aloud.

"Better footing..." Remus repeated, forgetting Cook was there until a needle punctured his skin. "Ow!" He hissed, whirling toward the Cook.

"Keep still or it'll hurt worse. And if I hear another scornful word out of you I'm gonna dump this bottle of rum on your wound and make you endure it." Cook threatened.

Remus stared at him for a long moment, then dropped his eyes. So the cook was mad at him too. Fine, he decided grudgingly, the hand on his good arm tightening into a fist. Let them be mad at me.

Cook focused on Remus for a long moment then sighed. "Relax, Remus. No one is going to hurt yah."

Too late, Remus thought dully. But he released his fist and looked back over at Hagrid. "I accused you of being in the coven. I shouldn't have."

It was as much of an apology as he was willing to put into words. Since Hagrid claimed he knew how to get them to the coven's main port Remus knew he should be on polite terms with the man. And at this point if he was going to have to apologize to anyone, he would rather it be the man who may be leading him to Dora, rather than the one who he'd tacked to the deck moments earlier.

Hagrid smiled broadly, Remus could tell because his beard split this time to reveal the bright teeth. "S'alright. I'm sorry I don' know more about this coven of yers."

Remus frowned slightly. "But you know Looe Island."

"Aye. It's where Lestrange normally ports. It's the only place I've seen 'im port. Besides this recent one." Hagrid amended, sitting against the wall so he still faced Remus but the latter no longer had to look up. "He goes in, meets with some of the same people and then we leave again."

"The coven." Remus whispered, barely remembering not to jerk when Cook began wrapping a strip of cloth around his arm. "But you don't know them?" How was that possible? If he was on Lestrange's ship Hagrid would have _had_ to be in the coven.

"The coven? No. Maybe he didn' trust me ter know." Hagrid assumed. "But I wasn' paying attention to who was friends with who. I was hired on fer muscle. Not fer askin' questions."

Still it bothered Remus. "Can I see your arm?" He finally demanded.

Hagrid stared at him for a moment, then rolled up both his sleeves. Neither held a tattoo, in fact the only blemish on either arm was an array of animal like scratches on his right wrist. Remus sagged back against the table, wondering if he was disappointed or relieved or maybe both.

"Satisfied since you don't see an inked eye staring back up at yah?" Cook demanded, moving from Remus' arm to finger the cut on the second mate's cheek.

Remus jerked his head around to stare at the cook. As far as he knew the only people who knew about the tattoo, and it's specific design, was himself, James, Sirius and Lily. But certainly not Cook. Remus narrowed his eyes slightly, but Cook just looked passively back at him as he cleaned the wound on the second mate's cheek.

"It couldn't hurt to be sure." But sure of what, Remus didn't know.

Cook snorted at him and pulled away from his tended patient. "And if he wore the tattoo? Were yah going to jump him? With whose help, my friend?" He addressed the man patiently, as though speaking to a young child.

Remus glared up at him, ignoring how Hagrid looked between the two with an uncomfortable frown. "Help?" He spat as though the word was vinegar on his lips.

"Yes, help. So you wouldn't need to do somethin' alone." Cook explained. "Whether it is fight a giant." He gave Hagrid a slightly apologetic look. "Or suffer from guilt." Cook dropped his intent gaze to Remus' face.

Remus flushed red at the last comment, then rose abruptly to his feet. "I don't need help." He spat without thinking.

Cook shook his head. "Of course you do, you young fool. We all need help. How can you hope to find anything without help?"

Remus balked at him, stumbling over words to form a retort.

"I'll help you find what you need at Looe Island, Remus." Hagrid promised from the floor, his voice warm in an attempt to comfort.

Remus looked quickly over at the giant on the floor, then back at Cook. "I don't need help." He shouted. "I'll find Dora. I don't need help!" He repeated the mantra. Then he stormed past them, through the doorway and out into the dark hallway.

------------

Lily lay on her back, eyes tracing the cracks between each ceiling beam. She let out a long sigh, her chest falling in a loud escape of breath. Sleep refused to weigh her eyelids and her muscles refused even the distraction of tossing or turning. Lily rolled on her side, propping her head on her forearm while her other hand toyed with strands of loose hair.

Her mind was restless with thoughts of Crouch, Lestrange, Dora, and Remus. Riddle, Sirius, and James invaded her dreams as often as the others. The dreams were not always nightmares, instead they were trains of thought from half heard conversations, muttered curses from Sirius, the musings of Remus while staring at crinkled maps, and of course the explosive argument from hours before. Lily curled a red crop of hair around her finger in a tight knot and stared into dark nothing.

It was a web, truly an ingenious spider's web that wove a disappeared wench to a count to a disowned count to a dead pirate to the very ex-pirate who'd killed him. Lily tightened the grip so her finger bruised purple. And there were strains she could not yet see, some that were only hints that James murmured in half delirious thoughts.

Abruptly, Lily shoved the blankets from her body and stood from the bed, pulling on her breeches and boots, though she did not bother to find a better fitting shirt. She twisted the hair over her shoulder as she padded silently though the doorway of her cabin and then down the corridor.

A dim glow streaked from the galley into the hall, and Lily cautiously peaked around the door frame. Her body stilled and she leaned the side of her head against the cool wood as she watched the dark man that sat alone at a table.

James' body was hunched over the table and his eyes followed the cards that fluttered so helplessly between his expert fingers. He cut the deck and let the queens and kings fall to his waiting hands, one bandaged and one not. The patter and slap of card on wood swirled carelessly though the silence of the galley.

Then he lifted his eyes, and met her own through the dim light of a few shaking candles. His lips curled ever so slightly when she stepped around the doorway and waited for him to speak.

His eyes traced her unlaced boots and breeches, then brightened at the shirt that fell almost to her knees and covered her hands unless she rolled them up. Lily tightened her arms around herself as James' worn shirt clung to her back.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, his voice barely a murmur. Lily nodded once and the smile twitched slightly. She closed the distance between them and sat opposite him at the table, propping her elbows on the smooth wood.

"You?" She asked.

James shrugged his shoulder once. Honestly, he hadn't even tried to go to sleep after getting tended to by Cook. Lily reached toward him, her fingers brushed the fresh cut above his eye and sent chill bumps along his brow. James caught her hand as it pulled away and his lips twitched again as his smile fell away to a pained frown. Lily tightened her grip around his fingers, stroking the edge of the rough bandage, then pulled the deck from his other hand. She slapped the cards against each other and waited.

"Highest card winds." James' voice was hoarse.

Lily raised her eyes to meet his. "Wager?" She asked, her lips a small smile.

"Question." James responded as Lily handed him his six cards and kept six of her own, while dropping the deck between them. James dropped a card and Lily followed suit.

Three and six.

"Favorite color." Lily requested, though she knew the answer by heart.

The corner of his lip jumped into a small grin. "Brown."

Lily didn't look up as she dropped her card by James'.

Eight and two.

"Favorite cousin."

Lily snorted. "That's easy. Anna."

James cocked an eye at her. "Not Rachel?" He dared to tease her.

Lily pointed a finger at his chest. "Not your question." She lay down a card.

Ten and nine.

"Not Rachel?" James repeated with a sideways grin.

Lily gave him a sly twist of her own lips. "Not Rachel."

Seven and four.

"What really happened in the pub?" Lily asked slowly, sweeping the cards to the side.

James caught the sigh that rose in his already constricted throat. He swallowed once and then answered, "I let my name slip to Hagrid. The bartender heard and told Lestrange when he came in looking for information. Lestrange sat down with us, playing cat and mouse." James scoffed, his fists clenching at the reminder.

"Remus arrived just when Lestrange was...well I'm not exactly sure what he was going to do." James admitted, though he had his suspicions, given how he'd insulted the man moments before. James shook his head slightly. "Whatever it was, Remus attacked him before Lestrange could do anything." James paused again, forcing Lily to wonder whether James shared Sirius' obvious anger at Remus' impulsive action.

"We fought them and Hagrid stepped in at the last minute." James frowned down at his cards, then dropped one on the table, effectively ending his answer.

King and Queen.

"Are you angry at Remus?" Lily traced the outline of the card.

His shoulders tightened. "Yes...and no." James' hand crinkled the edges of the final card. "How can I blame him for wanting to find her? How can I blame even his rashness when I know if it happened to you...." James stopped and lifted his eyes to meet Lily's. A ragged breath escaped his lips and his next words came out in a rush. "I would kill anyone who prevented me from finding you again."

Lily's chest clenched as the words branded a fire to her skin. His eyes bore into her until she dropped her last card on the table. James released his own and then stared at the two aces that glared up at him.

"A question for each, then." He whispered.

Lily waited a breath of a moment, then faced him. "Do you think we'll find Dora?"

James swept the cards into a messy pile and shoved himself to his feet, ignoring how his bruised ribs complained. He waited at the table's edge until the silence scalded him.

"I don't know." His answer was barely an escaping breath. He turned and trudged toward the door. Lily followed, catching his arm in the doorway and pulling him back to her, one arm wrapped around his tender ribs, her other hand lifted to trace his jaw.

"Your question." She refused to release him, refused to let him walk away alone in the dark corridor that waited.

James stared down at her for a long moment, and jerked his head once as though tossing aside one thought in favor of another. Then he leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. His warm breath washed over her brow and tickled her cheeks.

"A kiss?"

With the hand on his face, Lily guided him until her lips greeted his in a soft caress.

-------------

Sirius sat in the lowest hold of the ship, surrounded by crates, barrels and extra rigging. A single lantern swung from the ceiling, providing the only light as it projected dancing shadows along the hull's inner wall. Perched on top of a crate of flower Sirius leaned his back against the curved wall, eyes unfocused.

A sound near the hatch made him start. As he straightened, a body dropped down the ladder. When the man turned, Sirius found himself looking into a pair of knowing gray eyes. The first mate slumped back against the wall, crossing arms defiantly across his chest.

"What do you want, Cook?" He asked, his voice a grumble.

Cook lifted an eyebrow as he stepped over coiled rope to lean against a barrel of gunpowder. "I'm fascinated that even after all these years...you managed to find a hidin' place that had me stumped for the better part of the night."

Sirius snorted and tilted his head. "There are some things even you don't know, Cook."

"You would be surprised." Cook warned. He waited for Sirius to respond, and when he didn't, Cook spoke again. "You're the only one not to get his wounds looked at. Mayhap, since no one is here to see yah flinch, you'll let me look at 'em." He said it blandly, but Sirius stiffened.

For a long moment he didn't move, then Sirius pulled himself off the box. "Fine." He muttered, holding out his palm that was red with dried blood. He kept his eyes focused on the ballerina shadows as Cook pulled bandages from nowhere, cleaned the wound and dressed it before Sirius could look back.

Fingers that could wring a chicken's neck, carefully inspected Sirius' arms and ribs. Finally, Cook caught Sirius' chin and lifted, then ran a thumb along the purple bruises that wrapped around his neck

"Someone came awful close." Cook commented.

Sirius, his neck bared and head tilted back, let out a breath. "I should have just shot him instead of dancing around with a man twice my size." He complained. Cook touched one of the bruises and Sirius hissed, pulling his throat away.

Sirius immediately ducked his head, embarrassed at flinching away from such a slight injury. From slanted eyes he looked back at Cook, who shook his head slightly. "You seem fine. I'll change the bandage on your hand later."

The first mate nodded, backing away to lean against the crate. His hand played distractedly with the fresh bandage. Cook watched him for a long moment, then walked casually over to some of the other crates, inspecting each of them.

"I even managed to find Remus before finding you." Cook informed casually. "Of course I had to employ Hagrid's help. And I did have to threaten him to behave." He moved the lid off one crate and pulled a bottle of rum from inside, never once looking at Sirius.

Remus' name made Sirius' face tighten into rough marble. But the first mate did not speak. Instead he pulled himself back on the crate, letting one leg dangle from the edge as he leaned back.

Cook pulled the cork from the bottle, then took a long sip of the red liquid. He watched the silent, dark man, then frowned. "This is not Remus' fault, Sirius."

"The hell it isn't." Sirius spat. "He's the one who started the fight...couldn't keep his damn temper in check."

"He is not the only one."

Sirius whipped his head around as if he'd been burned. Cook looked calmly back at him, then took a slow sip before responding. "You goaded him on the deck. You wanted a fight."

"That's not true." Sirius defended.

"You threw his mistakes in his face. And in front of the entire crew, most of whom don't even know Dora's name." Cook chastised, though his words were nowhere near as anger charged as James' had been.

Sirius wondered for the briefest of moments how Cook knew of Dora. Then again, as Cook had pointed out earlier, there was little that he did not know, or did not find out. Sirius crossed his arms stubbornly across his chest. "He's a fool."

"He's in love." Cook corrected, stepping around the crates the better see Sirius' face. "And love's a splendid thing."

"Compared to what? Having salt thrown on a wound?" Sirius retorted bitterly. He shook his head vehemently. "His love is going to get us killed."

"So is your stubborn temper." Cook challenged. Sirius straightened fully, propping his hands on the edge of the crate as he leaned down.

"So I don't believe we can find Dora. That doesn't mean I've been trying any less. I'm looking just as hard. I'm pouring over maps and books and listening to gossip as much as James or Remus. I'm doing my part."

"Your part should be a friend."

"Remus doesn't want a friend." Sirius hissed. His hands stabbed the air in frustration. "He wants his love back!"

Sirius' anger reverberated from the walls of the small compartment. With a huff of breath, Sirius slumped back against the hull. Cook watched as the dark eyes released their anger and dropped into dim orbs that stared at nothingness.

"Mayhap that is what he wants." Cook agreed slowly, cradling the bottle of rum in his hands. "But what he _needs_ is you. You and James. He may not think he does." Cook continued, cutting off the first mate, who had opened his mouth. "But he does."

Sirius let his mouth close silently, then sat up again, studying the man below. He did not know why the cook had continued to look for him, even now that it was long past midnight. He did not even know why Cook seemed so intent on telling Sirius he should be there for Remus. It wasn't as if that was old news anyway. He was always there for his friends – even when they didn't realize it. But right now...right now Sirius wished he were hundreds of miles away from Remus and his problems. A seed of guilt burrowed into his stomach and Sirius winced despite himself.

"I don't suppose you've pointed that out to Remus." Sirius said sullenly, instead of trying to find a point to argue.

Cook shrugged one shoulder. "I tried."

Sirius snorted. "Let me guess, he yelled something about Dora and stormed off." He sneered, but dropped the dirty twist of his lips when Cook narrowed his eyes.

"He did." Cook agreed slowly.

Sirius shook his head, eyes finding solace in the bandage again. "He's blind."

"No more than the rest of us."

Sirius continued to shake his head. "He sees only her." He lifted his gaze and locked it with Cooks light eyes. "He's going to get blind sided if he thinks like that. And then someone's going to end up paying the price."

The older of the two men looked up at the man teetering on the edge of the crate. He could see the deep circles beginning to form from nights of lookout duty on the deck, and uncomfortable naps on the benches in the galley instead of his once cozy hammock. Cook leaned over and placed the rum bottle next to Sirius' knee, then with a callused palm, patted the younger man's thigh.

"Then maybe you should watch Remus' blind spots." He turned away, walking toward the exit as the shadows dropped away from him.

Sirius fingered the neck of the bottle, studying the sloshing red liquid through unseeing eyes. "What do you think I've been doing?" He murmured to the empty room.

**So tell me what you think. Like it? Hate it? Any burning questions? Please review and let me know! The next chapter is coming along, it's the one I've been the most anxious to write, so I'll get it up as fast as I can. In the meantime...review please!!! :) :)**


	14. Incognito

**A/N: Another chapter, and just before I start back to school too :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, the reviews are what keep me writing and your reviews are all amazing! Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters related to Harry Potter, but I do own the storyline for this.**

Chapter 13: Incognito

James balanced against the hull of his ship. A rope wrapped around his waist and thighs provided a harness which was attached to the lifeline hanging from the ship's rail. The sea wind tugged at the rope, rocking James like a baby in a cradle. The ship itself barely swayed against the roll of waves. The anchor had been dropped and not the wind nor waves could budge _the Marauder_.

The brush he clenched dripped hot tar to the foaming sea when James paused. Dull eyes traced the gold lettering branded on the wood. His eyes memorized the swooping cursive before James dragged the tar stained bristles across the name.

The woman stood far above him, red hair pulled back in a tight braid. Lily's eyes followed the jerked brush strokes and the smoothed black they left behind, then paused to watch the face of the man that left them. Her nostrils flared, allowing the salty damp air to clear her head as she glanced along the bow to the shadowed patch just on the horizon.

Her eyes were not the only ones fixed on the distant Looe Island. Remus' misted gray ones had not wavered from the shadow except to send paint down to James and Sirius, who hung from the other rail just as precariously.

Lily watched the second mate's back, then reached out a hand to pull him from a trance even as a sharp whistle did it for her. Remus jerked backward, then stepped over to the starboard rail. Three other men helped him pull Sirius back on the deck.

The first mate shook his head, to rid himself of the flecks of sea water that had dampened his hair. After shrugging out of his harness, Sirius stepped over to the opposite rail. Sirius braced a hand as he leaned over the edge, peering down at the dark figure.

"He done yet?"

Lily did not answer. Instead she returned her gaze to the man still swinging below. James had had the ship for over six years, and though he'd never confessed it, Lily knew it was his one home. Every inch of the ship down to the name was his own. To take away any part of it, even just the name, was crippling. And yet he was doing it anyway. Lily let out a long breath, fist tightening around the rail.

"I don't understand how hiding a name is going to help." Mitz spoke up, picking at his boot's edge with a knife. "If they know what to look for - "

"They're looking for _the Marauder_." Sirius interrupted. "And they can't find what doesn't exist."

It had been Sirius' idea to use Crouch's trick against the coven. While it was a disguise that would only last for so long, changing the ship's name would delay the coven enough for passage into and the needed escape from Looe Island. At least that was the theory.

James' sharp whistle finally came. Lily gripped the tethered rope while Sirius hooked the knot around his forearm. With the added muscle of Remus and Mitz, they pulled James back on board.

"It done, captain?" Mitz questioned. James pulled off the harness and handed over the brush and buckets of tar and paint.

"It's done. You're now the proud crew of _the Phoenix._" It was evident by Sirius' frown that Lily was not the only one to catch the undercurrent of regret in James' reply.

Mitz wrinkled his nose. "_The Phoenix_? Ain't that a bird?"

James ignored him and descended the stairs of the landing. Sirius glanced once at Mitz. "Very good. We'll move on to reptiles next."

Mitz narrowed his eyes after a moment, then followed them down the steps. "That ain't what I meant. I meant – why are we naming our ship after a bird."

James paused at the railing, eyes narrowed at the shadow. His voice was directed at the rolling waves. "The phoenix is an ancient bird of magic. Tears that could heal a mortal wound. A song to call for aid. And whenever it dies...it's reborn from the ashes."

Lily stared up at him, wondering who had told him that, and how long ago. James shrugged a shoulder, eyes still on the horizon.

"Maybe it will bring us some luck." James murmured so only the ones closest could hear.

James pulled away from the rail and spun to face the crew. "Weigh anchor and stay the course. Destination is still Looe Island." His voice rippled with command.

Murmurs of "yes'" and "ayes" masked James' next words as he leaned closer to Lily. "I want you below deck. Not even a whisp of hair above."

Even as he spoke James' experience warred with his instinct. He had learned long ago that Lily did not do well with being ordered to stay out of the way, in fact it was such orders that normally brought him into serious conflict with the redhead. But nor was James willing to place her in full view of pirates, some of whom were trying to kill him. He tightened his shoulders slightly as he waited for her response, knowing if she chose to argue with him it would be an argument she would not win.

Lily watched him through freed strands of hair, then nodded once so abruptly that James' eyebrows lifted high on his forehead. When no argument fell from her lips, he let a half relieved smile curl the edge of his lips. "Thank you." He murmured and moved past her. As he did, Lily caught his elbow and he swung off balance to face her.

"James, you need to stay hidden as well." James frowned at the statement, though a deeper part of him recognized that Lily had found her argument and was slightly relieved for it. However as he opened his mouth to negate the point she had just made, Lily tightened her grip.

"You are in more danger than I. I understand I could bring unwanted attention by being in view. But you are the man they are looking for. The man they want dead. Your head needs to be just as below deck as mine."

James' mouth closed under her hard gaze. "Someone is going to have to go into port, Lily." He pointed out slowly.

"It shouldn't be you." Lily was unyielding. Out of the corner of his eye, James noticed Remus and Sirius waiting for him, and he gently pulled his arm from Lily.

"Don't worry, Lily." He said, though knew his words sounded hollow as her eyes narrowed slightly.

"James, you know I'm right." Her voice held none of the smugness that might have normally come from winning a dispute. Instead it wavered and dropped deeper to churn his stomach.

James turned from her, unsure of how to quell her fears without making a promise he might not be able to keep. Instead he left her to disappear into his cabin, after gesturing to Remus and Sirius to follow.

James stepped over to his desk, not bothering to urge Sirius and Remus closer. He ran a finger around the tiny dot he'd sketched on the newer map. Looe Island was of no consequence to the Royal Navy, even though according to Hagrid it was a lesser version of Tortuga, and therefore had not been put on the map. It made James wonder how many other ports or islands were missing from even the best maps, and how many of those ports or islands might have led them to Dora sooner.

He tapped the dot again. "Looe Island has docks on all sides but most only for smaller boats because of the lower water level. Which means we'll have to weigh anchor just off the coast to the south and go in on a long boat. I told Hagrid and John to prepare one once we're close enough." James rubbed his jaw, eyes still focused on the sketch. "It may prove to be a benefit and provide quicker escape if we need it."

Remus and Sirius were silent in agreement. A pair of black and gray eyes watched the map with equal intensity. James walked around the desk and sat down, then continued.

"It used to have an abbey, but now the abbey is more ruin than anything, according to Hagrid. The main section of the abbey was retained and now holds a single pub." James pulled forward a scrap of paper on which he'd sketched the outline of the island and abbey as Hagrid had described it. It was rough at best, but it was also better than going in completely blind. Sirius reached forward and pulled the scrap closer, gnawing on his inner lip as he examined the page.

"Several floors high, the pub is the only entertainment on the island. It holds both wenches and drinks. If the coven is anywhere on this island they'll be there. And if Dora is anywhere on the island, she'll be there too." James tapped the edge of his desk, frowning down at the map.

Remus had barely glanced at the scrap of paper still clenched in Sirius' hand. Instead he fixed James with a steady look which the captain did not return. "One long boat? If something were to happen seven men might not be enough."

"There won't be seven men." James corrected, standing up to face them. "There will be one."

Sirius' head jerked up and Remus' eyes widened. "One?" The voice of the second mate wavered. "One man..." It was almost a hiss.

"We cannot afford to bring unnecessary attention to ourselves." James said, his face twisted in a grimace. "One man is less noticeable than seven. He can mingle and question much easier. He can get where seven men cannot." James paused, eyes fixed on the two men in front of him. Lily's warning burned in the back of his mind. But if one man had to go into the coven's hideout -

"I'll do it." Sirius spoke before Remus could utter a word. The second mate whipped around even as James' jaw sagged. Sirius crossed his arms defiantly, crumpling the island sketch in the process. "I'd be more believable than either of you, since I can at least pretend to like wenches."

"Pretend?" James said before he could stop himself.

Sirius eyes hardened, but he ignored the tease. "Who else is it going to be, James? I heard what Lily was telling you on deck and she's right. Lestrange was looking for James Potter. And now he knows your face."

"He knows yours too. And Remus'" James reminded him.

"Well we can't very well ask Hagrid to walk back in there, can we? Or one of the crew?" Sirius argued. "It has to be one of us."

James shook his head numbly and Sirius stepped around the desk and grabbed James' arm hard. "It has to be me, James. I can flirt and play drunk and get people to talk. You'd shrug off any wench who came near you and they're the ones that are going to know if Dora's there or not."

"Dora? You don't even believe Dora's alive?" Remus snarled, breaking from his surprise. "And you think you're the best suited for this rescue mission?"

Sirius' hand tightened, digging his nails into James' arm, but it was the only sign of his rising temper. "This isn't a rescue mission. We're here to get information first."

"Information?" Remus hissed. "I'm here to rescue Dora!"

"And if that information leads us to find that Dora is in fact here, then _you_ can perform a rescue." Sirius snapped, turning at last to glare at Remus.

"Then I'll be performing that from start to finish." Remus spat, looking back at James. "James, I'm the one that needs to go in there. If I see her I'll know – neither of you would -"

"Yeah, you'll see her and run off half cocked and get yourself, and possibly her, killed." Sirius challenged as he stalked over to the corner, and then whirled back on the other two men. "Face it, Remus. You'd be so focused on looking for Dora you'd miss anything that passed under your nose that didn't have blond hair. Which would include pirates looking to stab you in the back."

Remus flushed red. "James!" He begged, looking over his shoulder at the captain who remained silent.

"You know I'm right." Sirius said, whether he purposefully mimicked Lily's earlier words or not, James did not know.

Sirius' eyes were hard even as Remus' were crazed with begging. James dropped his eyes for a moment, studying the map as each argument played over and over through his mind until he was almost sick to his stomach.

When James finally let his gaze land on Remus, the second mate took a step backward. "You cannot be serious." He breathed out, reading the decision in the hazel eyes of his captain. "James -"

"Sirius is right." James broke in. As is Lily, he thought humbly. "None of the crew can do this because they do not have all the facts. We dare not entertain the thought of sending Hagrid, who is already known here. It can't be me." His breath caught at the feeling of helplessness, but James cleared his throat once. "You are no more comfortable in a pub than I am, Remus. Do you think you could hide your intentions long enough to fake friends and wheedle information?"

"We might not have time for just information, James." Remus argued, flinging out his hand and knocking several books from the desk. "If there is too much danger and Dora is -"

"Then if Dora is there and there is no time for us to come, Sirius will get her out." James replied confidently.

"Ha!" Remus laughed bitterly, sending a scathing look toward the silent first mate. "He'd be distracted by the first wench to pass by. He'd probably grab the wrong woman."

Sirius snarled under his breath but bit his lip hard to keep from spewing the curses that rose from his chest. James' eyes narrowed at Remus. "Enough, Remus. Sirius will keep his head." James' eyes flickered to the first mate, and then back again.

"You're putting Dora's life in the hands of a man who doesn't even love the woman that he returns to and beds every few months!" Remus almost screamed. Sirius paled slightly. "In the hands of a man who hasn't believed from the beginning that there is any hope that Dora is alive. I'm not willing to risk it."

"You don't have a choice." James snapped. Remus straightened abruptly. James took a labored sigh, trying to reign in his temper. "A few weeks ago you asked for my help. You asked for _our _help. And now you're getting it, so you will have to listen to what I say. I have full confidence in Sirius and until a few weeks ago, you did as well. He will go into port, get some information, and come back. Then if a rescue is needed I will send you and any other man you wish."

Remus stared at him, panting slightly. He glanced once back at the silent man in the corner, then turned sharply on his heel. The door slammed in his wake, though neither Sirius and James winced.

Sirius stepped slowly from the corner, walking into the light that filtered through the window. James stared at him for a long moment, then leaned on the edge of the desk and dropped his gaze back to the map.

"It will be a few hours more until we're close enough to drop the longboat. You should return by midnight, which would give you about four hours."

Sirius bobbed his head once.

James looked back at him. "Sirius, if any trouble starts -"

"I know, get out of there and don't forget to grab Dora on my way out." Sirius recited, but his lips did not form a smile.

James thought to rebuke him, but decided to only give a brief shake of his head.

Sirius took a long breath, toying with the edge of his sleeve. "You won't be able to go on deck once we're close." He spoke slowly.

James frowned. "I know." He almost groaned

"Hey," Sirius nudged James' shoulder. The captain glanced at him. "You're more important than information. Just spend some time with Lily and you won't even notice I'm gone." The first mate gave him a wane smile, but it did not reach his eyes.

James let out a breath. Sirius turned away, but he was barely at the door when James called out to him.

"Sirius. Be careful."

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "I'm always careful." He replied, then swept out of the room.

---------------

Sirius rubbed his palms against the fabric of his pants, watching as Hagrid and Mitz secured the single longboat to the riggings. His dark eyes watched the two men weave knots simultaneously, as though it were rehearsed. An almost fond snort escaped as Sirius followed the newest crew member, who had so effortlessly slipped into the crew's good graces, with a quick tilt of his head.

"Drop anchor!"

The shout caused a stir across the deck and Sirius dropped the unconscious smile that had twisted his lips when he approached the two men.

"Doesn't have any holes, does she?" Sirius questioned offhandedly as he glanced toward the flickering lights that illuminated the small island. He dropped his gaze back in time to see Mitz grimace.

"She'll get you to the island. Though why you'd want to -"

"You don't understand. I know." Sirius finished.

Hagrid appeared as doubtful as Mitz, and Sirius felt his own resolve wavering in the face of their worry. He bit the edge of his lip, then cast his gaze behind him on the main deck.

Sirius' eyes landed on Remus. The second mate stood half a deck away, arms crossed. His mousy hair beat at his furrowed brow, while his muscles bunched and his hands fisted. Then the second mate purposefully turned his face away.

The hairs on Sirius' neck rose and he turned back to his crew mates, all wavering gone from his eyes. "Don't worry so much. I'm just popping over for a drink. Be back before you can get too comfortable without me." Neither man smiled, but Sirius ignored the cautionary sounds from Hagrid's throat as he heaved himself over the edge and into the longboat.

Sirius did not bother to look at the faces on the deck as the lines grew taunt and the longboat was lowered toward the water. The first mate gripped the edges of the boat as it dropped the last foot, jarring him into the oars. The ropes slackened and he was on his own.

Sirius took an oar with each hand and his muscles strained as he began to row toward the island. The lantern at the boat's bow flickered in the wind. Beyond the lulling waves he could see other lanterns of incoming boats. Eyes dragged back to the waiting island, and Sirius grunted with each stroke that pulled him toward port.

When the boat finally slipped into the knee deep water, Sirius dropped the oars on the floor and let out a huff of air. The edge of the boat bumped against the rotting dog and Sirius tossed a frayed rope around one post. As he pulled himself onto the dock a hunched over man limped in front of him.

"Watch your boat for a shilling." He croaked through the rotting remains of his teeth.

Sirius' nose wrinkled, even as he straightened his coat. "No, I'm -"

"Watch your boat for a shilling." The old man repeated, holding out a hand caked with grim.

Sirius let out a grunt and shoved a shilling into the man's palm. "Fine, watch my damn boat." He snarled, shouldering past the swaying man and up along the path that lead from the beach to the abbey, which rested on the crest of the hill.

Sirius followed the graveled path, stepping over half crumbled steps and drunken bodies sprawled in the tall grass. His eyes read each face, but the only light came from the abbey and the stars, leaving the faces cloaked in shadows. His fingers brushed against the hilt of a hidden dagger for reassurance.

He passed under the crumbling brick of the abbey's outer walls, then froze under the arch. Torches lit the courtyard and wooden huts as brightly as the set sun. Broken bottles crunched under Sirius' boots as he wove through the vendors, women, and pirates. Spicy smells burned his nose and throat, and too thin silk covering too rounded bodies brushed against his arms and chest. The music pulled him to the center of the courtyard where the remains of the once majestic abbey stood.

There were holes in the stone near darkened windows, holes from past cannon fire which revealed abandoned staircases to the naked eye. Most of the other windows glowed and the polished doors had been torn from their crafted hinges to leave a seductive open doorway.

Sirius passed into the crowded pub as just another body, unnoticed save for a few stray wenches. Sirius lifted his eyes to follow a polished wooden staircase leading beyond the ceiling to several dozen rooms. He cast a look over one shoulder at the wide bar, then toward the tables where drinks and women were being passed from pirate to drunk. One freckled wench gave Sirius a coy look, which he returned with a thin smile, then turned to wander through several more tables, pausing finally at a table where a large dice game was going on.

Sirius pulled a chair around and straddled it, weighing his bag of coins with his palm as he dropped it jingling on the table. Several heads turned, eyebrows lifting at the bag.

"Have another set?" Sirius inquired innocently, stripping out of his coat and throwing it over his knee.

A nearby pirate slid his own cup and set of dice into Sirius' waiting hand, then made a go-ahead motion as he left the table. The five remaining pirates, and their respective crew mates and wenches, watched as Sirius tossed shook the dice and slammed the cup, lip down on the table.

A red-bearded pirate made the first call. "Two sixes."

"Four sixes."

By the time the circle had reached Sirius the bid had increased to 10 sixes. Sirius leaned casually back in his chair, and cast his best half grin to Red Beard. "Twenty two sixes."

One of the wenches nearby gasped, while the other four pirates quickly peaked at their hands, then looked intently at each other, trying to wheedle out the other's dice.

Red Beard stared straight back at Sirius, his eyes narrowed at the challenge. He would either have to make a higher bid, or call Sirius out on his. He glanced at his dice for half a second, then snarled, "Liar." And lifted his cup to reveal one six.

A murmur went through the crowd as the other pirates revealed their own dice, adding to only eighteen sixes. Sirius flipped his cup up with a flick of his wrist, revealing five beautifully crafted dice, each with six black spots.

"Twenty three then." Sirius chuckled as a hoot and cheer went up through the crowd of onlooking pirates. The players tossed over their coined bets as Red Beard reached over to Sirius and clapped his hand.

"You're one lucky bastard." He smiled.

Sirius grinned. "Let's hope it holds the rest of the night, eh?" This elicited a laughter and a few good natured threats around the table. Pints of rum were slammed on the table and the dice were cast again and again until Sirius finally staggered away from the table three hours later.

His hands gripped the edge of the bar, digging his fingers into the cool wood while he blinked his bloodshot eyes. Sirius felt the weight of his coined purse. A bit lighter than when he'd arrived, but he'd won a fair amount of hands to make up for how the grogginess of his head had lost him the last few.

Sirius straightened up from the bar and beckoned the bartender over, knocking his arm into a wench standing at his shoulder. He blinked a few times and asked for a water. The pint handed him was filled with a murky liquid that seemed to crawl up the edges of the cup. Sirius wrinkled his nose and braced his back against the bar as he scanned the pub.

Despite the ruckus of the pub his nerves had not been on end the entire night. He had inquired here and there about the prettiest wenches, had let Dora's name slip a few times and had flirted with a few until he saw their brown eyes, old faces, or heard their whispered name. Though none of his flirting or cleverly woven words had provided anything other than stories about beautiful wenches from other ports and even once a story about a loyal golden retriever. Sirius had spent the first half an hour glancing over his shoulder for Lestrange and any of his crew. But then the rum and easy words of the other pirates had relaxed him into his current state.

Which was why the feeling of someone's prying gaze unnerved him beyond normal. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand and his muscles tensed as he quickly scanned the faces near and far for the glare that was directed at him. But he met no furious eyes or glaring gaze. The feeling did not abate, however, and Sirius shifted his arms on the bar and half turned, only to find the feminine face that had been the cause for his nerves.

She was fairly pretty. No, Sirius contradicted as he stared down at her, she was beautiful. Her hair fell in black ringlets, framing a thing pale face. While her blue eyes glared at him from under a frown.

"Um..." He found his tongue caught between his teeth as the woman's eyes narrowed further. He could see her knuckles turning white as she griped her skirts. "Hello..."

"Leave." Her voice was ice and cut through any drunken defense he might have thrown together. Sirius' jaw dropped slightly.

"Wh-what?"

"Leave. Now. Get on your ship and leave." She shoved past him, knocking his shoulder so that he threw out a hand to catch himself on the bar. He whirled back and stepped around her, blocking her path, just before she could disappear into the maze of tables.

"Leave? What do you mean leave?" Sirius said, resisting the urge to grab her arm to keep her from stepping around him again.

"Get off the island. Now." She tried to step around him, but Sirius sidestepped with her.

"Why do I need to leave?" He demanded, trying to catch her eyes even as she seemed to look through him.

He swore that she hissed like a wet cat before she answered. "There needs to be a reason? Fine, because if you stay here you will die!"

"Die?" Sirius stuttered and then glanced over his shoulder. The rest of the pub was too occupied with drinks and women to be paying attention but he could feel his muscles tensing even more. He turned just as the woman was escaping. This time he did reach out and grab her arm, pulling her sharply back to him.

"Let go of me." Her voice was dipped low with anger, but it shook with some other emotion. Now her eyes met his fully for the briefest of moments.

"Someone's going to try and kill me?" He ignored her request. Then winced as she dug her nails into his forearm.  
"Someone will kill you if you do not heed me. Now let go of me and leave." She ripped her arm from his loosened grip and disappeared into another group of men. Sirius stared after her, heart thudding loudly in his ears. He turned sharply and ran into another woman.

He caught her elbows, steadying them both. Surprisingly, the wench laughed and held onto him as he did her. "You look a bit worn on your feet." She soothed, flicking her red hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah....maybe..." Sirius glanced over his shoulder and then shied away from an abrupt shout from the winner of the continuing dice game.

"Spooked like a lost pup too." She ran a hand through his bangs, brushing his face with cool fingers. "Here, come with me."

The black haired woman's warning blazed suddenly in Sirius mind, but he shoved it aside just as abruptly. He hadn't found Dora yet, hadn't found any sign or whisper of her. And he couldn't return to the ship, to Remus, without that. And besides that, his legs were feeling a bit weak as the wench kept a comforting grip around his arm and waist as she led him up the stairs.

His eyes traveled up the hallway lined with doors similar to the one that the wench ushered him through. Sirius did not bother to examine the room as he sat down hard on the bed and stared at the wood floorboards.

A cool cloth against his cheek made him jerk backwards until a hand caught his arm. The wench knelt at his feet as warm smile crossed her lips. "It's okay." She pressed the damp cloth against his face again then dropped it back in the water basin near her knee.

"I'm Sara. And you're....?" She pushed back his bangs as he stared mutely back into her brown eyes.

"I'm....Black." He said simply.

"Black? That's your name?" Sara asked, her smile turning into a short laugh.

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. "My mother wasn't creative..." He muttered.

Sara ran her finger through his hair and smiled up at him. "Well, names are just names." She reassured him.

Sirius blinked at her, finding her face too close and her breath hot on his already dry lips. When she leaned forward he didn't stop her, he even let his own lips dance with hers, though he felt as though they were stepping on each others toes throughout the dance.

Finally his mind caught up to his lips and he pulled abruptly back. "I...I have to go..." He stumbled a few steps past her and then stopped halfway to the door, staring at the wood with warring wills. Go...where? To find Dora in some room down the hall? If she was even there. Go from the island like the mysterious woman had warned him?

"Go? Where? Why?" Sara was on her feet staring at his back with parted lips.

Sirius turned slowly to face her again, his eyes dropped to her own and he let her move closer before shaking his head sharply. "I'm looking for someone." He spoke as though it was the answer to all her questions.

She snorted once, looking down for a moment. "Aren't we all." She murmured in a broken voice.

Sirius stared at her for a long moment then grabbed her waist and crushed his lips to hers, aggressively mating their mouths until his lungs protested and he was reminded of his heart silent and cold beneath his breastbone. He shoved her back a step and gasped for air, hands still holding her arms while she stared at him, eyes wide.

"Are you...all right?" She questioned as though he hadn't just grabbed her and sucked the breath from her own lungs.

"No." His answer was short and he staggered back a step. "I need to find a girl. A woman...a wench."

Sara's eyebrows dropped. "You're going to have to be a bit more specific."

Sirius growled in his throat. "Blond hair. No gold. Gold hair. And blue eyes....or sapphires or whatever Remus would compare them too." His breath was coming in quick bursts.

Sara shook her head and caught his arm with a hand. "Whoa, who's Remus?"

"He's the problem. Idiot is looking for this woman and now I have to find her – she's here, or I think she is. But I can't leave without finding her." His voice cracked and Sirius pulled from Sara's grip and slammed his fist into the wall with a crunch.

Her eyes widened as she watched him pull away from the wall and saw a few fleck of blood fall from his knuckles. "You're really looking for a woman."

"Yes. I just told you -"

"Okay calm down." Sara gripped the front of his shirt, forcing the shaking man to look down at her. She felt her heart flutter slightly when the swelling dark eyes fell upon her, but she swallowed away the two kisses and silenced her heart. "You know she's here, yes?"

"No." Sirius contradicted. "We think she's here. She could be in Istanbul for all I know."

"Think? Were you going to check every wench, every room until you found her?" Sara demanded. She saw the color rising in his face and she patted his shoulder. "Okay, so that wasn't the plan. Then what are you going to do?"

"None of the pirates I talked to know her...or maybe they're too drunk to remember..." Sirius spouted, unable to stop the words from falling from his lips. Then his eyes seemed to glow with inspiration. "But you - you would know her." Sara frowned for a moment. "You would know her if she was a wench here, right?"

The shake of her redhead sent his stomach dropping again. "There's no guarantee that- "

"But you're a wench too. You all live here, together. You see each other every night!"

Sara pulled away from him and hugged her arms as she backed away from him. "Not by choice." Her voice was small and Sirius felt his jaw snap closed. "Do you know how wenches get here? They're taken off ships that have been raided...or from villages...or from fathers who want to settle debts. No one wants to be here...and if you can get off, any way you can, you do. If she had the opportunity to leave then she would've, if she was even here at all."

As he watched her Sirius realized that the girl before him could have been no older than Lily. He swallowed hard at the thought and stepped over to her and reached out a hand to take hers. "Her name was Dora."

Sara stared up at him for a long moment. "I don't know a Dora." She said slowly. "I don't think I've met anyone here by that name, at least no wench. I'm sorry."

Sirius dropped her hand and nodded once, backing away until she caught his arm for the final time.

"There are many blond haired girls and many more girls who have been here longer than I." Sara told him. "At the end of the hall there's one. She's got blond hair and she's older than me. I don't ever see her when I'm downstairs but...I know she's been here for awhile and she knows everyone."

Sirius felt his lips smile slightly, just for the redhead staring up at him. He dropped his lips into a soft kiss on her cheek and felt her intake of breath as he did. "Thank you." He whispered and squeezed her hand briefly before disappearing out the door.

Voices from downstairs drifted up the stairs and flooded the walls. Sirius walked slowly past the doors and around the couples that had migrated to the upper hallway. He averted his eyes and moved on, almost running into a man who was leaving one of the rooms. Sirius did not even look at the man's face as he moved past the remaining doors. He heard another door creak and a murmur of voices behind him but he could only stare at the sliver of yellow that seeped from the crack under the door.

Sirius pushed the door open and stepped inside, eyes scanning the clean room to find the woman standing at the window. Her back faced him and he could only make out the color of her long hair. Gold. Sirius stepped further into the room, clearing his throat but so soft that she still didn't hear. He reached out a hand and touched her shoulder.

As she turned Sirius felt an explosion of pain in the back of his head. Blackness swam through his vision, suffocating him before his body could crumple to the floor.


	15. Frayed Edges

**A/N: Before tomatoes are thrown I would like to sincerly apologize for my long absence from FanFiction. School work and travelling during the holidays prevented me from both finishing these next few chapters and uploading them like I originally wanted to. I sincerly apologize for leaving you guys on such a cliff-hanger for all those months - I thought I would get the update up sooner. There was also some speculation going on that I might perhaps be abandoning this story - which is in no way true. I do intend to finish this story, hopefully very soon now that pretty much all of the bits and pieces are planned out in detail, but it is going to take awhile. I do have school and the work that goes along with that, as well as musical stuff and family stuff that often times take prescedent over writing. However, this story will be finished, make no mistake. Chapter 15 is done, and should be up by the weekend, and both Chapter 16 and 17 are halfway done so they will hopefully be up very soon as well. So, with no further ado since I kept you waiting for months, here is the next chapter. Enjoy!!!!!**

**Disclaimer:** **In case you forgot - I own the story and the characters not related to Harry Potter. Anything else is JK Rowlings.**

Chapter 14: Frayed Edges

James' hand paused, hovering just over the candle-lit map resting on his desk. A cool draft lifted the hair on his neck and snuffed out the candle. Left in the dim moonlight, James stared down at the map. The inked lines stretched out in shadow and he lifted his head, eyes focusing on the closed door. The door stayed firmly shut and James felt his hand drop onto the desk, tightening in a fist.

Blood drained from his face, and all he heard was the empty breath of the draft dancing around his head. James' eyes narrowed, waiting for the door to open, waiting for some sound, waiting for something.

But it never came. James felt his muscles twitch.

In a swift motion, James slung his belt around his waist, sheathing the sword that had lain across the desk. He swept up a stray dagger and rushed from the room, leaving the map to flutter alone.

The door slammed at his heels. James' head whipped around, eyes focusing on each crew member in turn. But the icy crawl that had crept up his back did not leave. Finally his eyes caught Mitz and Hagrid, standing with the loose rigging where they had dropped Sirius' boat hours earlier.

"Mitz! Hagrid! Get a boat in the water!" James bellowed without warning. The men jumped at this appearance, moving instantly at the order without thinking of the reason for it.

James moved swiftly across the deck, but Remus managed to catch up with him, appearing suspiciously at the captain's elbow. "What are you doing?"

James moved around him, eyes on the swaying boat. The men had lowered it until the brim dipped below the rail of the ship. Remus reached forward, catching James' arm and pulling the captain to a sharp stop.

"What are you doing?" Remus repeated, eyes overly bright as he stared back at James.

James jerked his arm from Remus' grip. "I'm going after Sirius."

Remus pulled away as though burned. "Why?" The word slipped from his lips, lined with vinegar.

"Something is wrong." James fought to keep his voice level though his boiling nerves made it difficult. He waited a long moment, watching the second mate, but Remus made no move to further the conversation or voice his worries, if there were any to voice. James clenched his teeth and turned away.

"If you go in there they may recognize you." Remus pointed out.

"They may have already recognized Sirius." James threw over his shoulder.

"Sirius can take care of himself." Remus ground out.

James ignored him, gripping the rail with tight fingers to steady his quivering limbs. Remus might be stuck in denial, but he could not shake the warning bumps bristling on his arms. Lily, James thought mildly, Lily is going to kill me for leaving the ship. James shook his head hard and pulled himself into the boat, shifting to face Mitz.

"Remus is in charge until I return." James ordered, seeing the second mate appear at the rail.

Remus leaned over the edge, eyes boring into James. "What if it's Sirius' stupidity that is the reason he's late?" Remus demanded. Mitz and Hagrid shifted out of James' immediate sight, clearly uncomfortable.

James glared up at him. "Just watch the ship, Remus."

The second-mate glared back for a long moment. Then he moved, stepping over the rail and into the boat. Remus crossed his arms stubbornly across his chest, amber eyes returning the questioning stare.

James stared at him, barely being catching how Remus' arms, though tight across his chest, shook.

James abruptly looked back toward Mitz. "Cook's in charge." Before either Remus or Mitz could ask anything further, James made a gesture and the boat dropped until it met water with a thumped splash.

James and Remus swayed on their feet as rope dropped around them. James snatched one of the oars and faced the other man. "What are you doing, Remus?"

Remus lifted his chin. "Sirius can take care of himself, James."

"That is not what I asked." James barked, shoving the oar into Remus' hands and driving the second mate back a step.

"It was ill fate to send one man onto the island."

"You would not have argued if you had been the one man." James pointed out bluntly, acutely aware of the seconds that were passing.

Remus paused a moment. "I'm not nearly as distracted."

James bit his lip hard to keep the sarcastic remark from slipping out. "We are going to check for Sirius and be there if he needs our aid." The captain finally explained.

Remus did not even blink. "And to help Dora if she is there."

The two men faced off for a long moment. Finally, James grabbed his own oar. "Row." He ordered sharply, keeping the argument firmly behind his teeth. Their muscles sung the same beat as they pushed the water from the boat and urged the craft closer to shore.

It took less time with the both of their strength being put into the act. They let the boat glide against a dock and James jumped on the rotting boards, wrapping the rope around a post as Remus followed him from the boat.

James straightened and glanced at the other boats tethered to the dock. In the dark he could only make out the barest forms. James' frown deepened. Even in the daylight, Sirius' boat would not have looked any different than most of the others, at least to the naked eye.

"James." Remus was near the edge, looking down into one of the boats bobbing against the dock. Remus gestured with his foot and James followed his gaze to stare at an old man curled in the bottom of the boat. James knelt down and ran his hand along the inside of the boat's rim, and winced when he felt the etched star that marked each of his boats. He looked over his shoulder at Remus, whose blank face wavered slightly before falling back in place.

"Means he's still here." Remus offered without enthusiasm.

James looked back down at the old man, then leaned forward and gave him a good nudge. The man squawked like a rooster and sat upright, staring with wide eyes at James and Remus. Without waiting for him to speak, James reached forward and grabbed the old man by his shirt and heaved him onto the deck.

The old man was quick, but not strong enough to break from James' grip. "Watch your boat for a shilling?!" The man shrieked too loudly. Remus wrinkled his nose in confusion, but James didn't release him.

"What are you doing in that boat?" James demanded, jerking the man's shoulder in the direction of Sirius' left behind boat.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" The man almost whimpered. James shook him hard. "Watching the boat for shilling!" He repeated

James shook him again to get him to keep quiet, nervously glancing around to make sure no attention had been drawn to their dock. "You were sleeping in my friend's boat." He pointed out slowly, keeping his voice low.

The man hand been shying away from James, eyes more white than black. But at James' comment he stopped. He licked his dry lips once, then spoke. "The man gave me a shilling to watch his boat." The shrillness was dropping from his voice. "So I was..."

James narrowed his gaze slightly. But, Remus' eyebrows lifted at the change in the old man's speech. "You're not as mad as you make out, are you?" He murmured.

The old man glanced over at him with normal eyes. "A crazy old man is safer than a sane one. Lives longer too."

The second mate tilted his head to look at the boat wavering in the shallow waters. It was Sirius' boat, which meant Sirius had to be somewhere on the island. Probably drunk and couldn't make it back to the ship, Remus tried to form the bitter words on his tongue but they were dissuaded by the chill sea wind and instead he grabbed the old man's other arm.

"He hasn't come back?"

"If he had, I'd be sleeping in another boat." The old man scoffed. He twisted his head around, slumping over slightly. "Watch your boat for a shilling?" He added at James with a slight grin.

James tightened his grip and pulled the old man closer. "I'll sweeten the deal for you, old man. Tell me about the last time you saw my friend, then watch our boats and I'll give you two shillings."

A glow reached the old man's eyes and he twisted out of Remus' looser grip and gestured to the dim path and the glowing abbey at the crest of the hill. "Gave me the shilling then took the path. Followed it up to the abbey, hasn't been down the path since."

"How can you be sure he made it to the abbey?" James questioned before he could stop himself.

The man stared at him for a moment, then grinned. "Cause the path is the only safe place on this godforsaken island."

James waited for a heartbeat, then shoved the two promised coins in the wrinkled old hand. The man tightened his fingers around James' hand, pulling the younger man closer. "It's not this side of the island you need worry about." The old man's hot breath followed his warning into James' ear. "And it's not the drunks inside either."

James felt the grip released and he stumbled a step past the old man toward the path. He glanced back once as Remus fell in step with him, to see the old man wavering on the dock.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Remus questioned though barely moving lips. He followed James' gaze back.

James grunted once, the lingering warning still warm on his skin. He forced his eyes to focus on the crumbling abbey. "It's not as if there's really anywhere for him to go." He muttered slowly, pondering how much of this island was a sinner's heaven or the damned's prison.

Remus followed silently as they followed the winding path and ducked inside the crumbling walls of the abbey. He pressed a reassuring hand on the brick as he passed, hoping the cool stone would draw out the nerves rushing through his veins. The second mate swallowed hard, eyes darting around over each blurred face that hid in the shadows nearby. The searching gaze darted so quickly that it wasn't long until Remus wasn't sure if he was looking for Dora or Sirius.

James kicked a spare bottle from his path, sending it shattering against a stone wall, breaking Remus from his thoughts. James turned his head until his eyes finally fell on the abbey. He lifted his chin slightly and Remus followed the gaze, falling in step behind him and James maneuvered through the sleeping drunks on the ground.

They passed under the open doorway of the abbey, pausing just inside the glow of the room. James' eyes darted around the loud room, from table to table, quicker with each passing second as an uneasy breath filled his lungs.

"He's not here." His lips barely moved, but Remus heard the words clearly.

Remus' own eyes were scanning faces, but he found his own intense gaze wavering away from the men to the faces of each women in the room. "His boat's here." Remus pointed out with a quiet breath. He tore his gaze from a nearby brunette whose eyes were the wrong color, to look over at James, who tugged at the sword at his hip in agitation.

"You take the left half of the room. Look for Sirius." He emphasized the name sharply, causing Remus to frown. The second mate brushed past James' shoulder quick enough so that the captain did not see the faint blush of guilt running over his cheeks.

James moved in the opposite direction, bumping into several shoulders and chairs in his haste to see each face. By the time he'd made it to the bar at the far wall, the blood in his ears was pumping louder than the combined noise of the wenches and pirates. James ran a hand over his face, through his face, twisting his head around again.

And then he saw it. The black coat draped carelessly over a nearby chair, seemingly holding a place for another player at the round of dice that was in full swing. James' lips parted slightly as a sweet breath filled the area beneath his breast.

His feet led him to the table and his hands tentatively picked up the coat, fingering the worn cuffs. James looked around at the men who had paused in their game to order another round of drinks. None of the faces were familiar, but the cloth clutched in his hands was.

"Whose coat is this?" James asked the closest man, even though he knew the answer.

The man with a full red beard glanced up from the pint he was nursing. "Eh?" He questioned, blinking at James through fogged eyes.

"The coat." James shoved the precious clue under his nose. "Whose is it?"

"Ah..." He chewed on the edge of his beard. "Stranger. A kid, black hair....didn' tell his name." Red Beard muttered, slurping at his rum.

"Where did he go?" James demanded. The man didn't answer and James snarled, frustration leading him to stupidly grab the man's arm, sloshing rum down the drunk pirate's hand.

"Hey!" Red Beard looked up at him.

"Where did he go?" James ignored the other pirates sending questioning looks toward their pinned down leader.

Red Beard, however, was far too drunk to even feel anger. "Eh....you looking to kill him or something? Ain't that bad of a guy....doesn't cheat...not like me...." His words were starting to slur.

James tightened his grip slightly. "I'm not gonna kill him."

The drunk pirate blinked as though this was a good enough answer, then waved a hand at the stairs. "Little red head wench pulled him upstairs with her. Haven' seen 'im come down yet." His voice then rippled into drunken chortles that forced James to wince.

James released the man and turned sharply away. Maybe the redhead was Dora...but Dora was a blond...James shook his head, rattling his teeth. He didn't want to believe that Remus' bitter remarks were actually true, that Sirius was wasting his time instead of looking for Dora. Was it possible for Sirius to truly be that mad at Remus to scorn him so fully?

No. Sirius wouldn't do that. James was determined in his thought. If Sirius went with the wench somewhere there had to be a reason. And perhaps, just maybe, Sirius was still with the girl, talking, finding out information as he should.

And yet...the dangerous feeling hadn't left James' stomach.

James caught Remus' elbow as he headed toward the stairs. Remus cast a curious glance at the coat in James' arm.

"Sirius coat....he's here then." Remus almost sounded triumphant in the fact, as though the prize clutched in James' sweating palm made up for the absence of its owner.

"One of the men said he saw Sirius going upstairs, following a read head." Emotions flickered across Remus' face hope, wonder, uncertainty and then dropping into sudden disgust before erasing completely. He froze at the bottom of the stairs, accusing eyes tearing into James.

"Don't say anything, Remus, just go up the stairs." James paused at the foot of the stairs, toe to toe with the second mate.

"James if he's -"

"He's not. Go."

Remus paused a second longer and James shoved Sirius' coat into Remus' chest. The second mate fumbled and caught the coat with shaking hands. James' voice dropped into a harsh whisper that only reached Remus' ears.

"Would you prefer to stay down here and look mindlessly for Dora while I put at ease your fears for Sirius?" James demanded, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Remus sucked in a sharp breath. "You think I don't care what happens to Sirius?" He asked, his voice just as quiet.

"You've taken on an interesting way of showing it." James responded, starting up the stairs. Remus' footsteps echoed his own.

"I do care. I'm here aren't I?" Remus hissed as they made it onto the landing.

"Yes, here and leaking with concern."

"I don't have to break down in tears to be concerned." Remus took a labored breath. "We don't even know if anything has happened."

"Stop it, Remus." James whirled around. "You know as good as I that if Sirius were perfectly fine he would have been at the ship or we would have at least seen him by now."

"I also know that Sirius is easily distracted and bored."

"And I know that you are often blinded by yourself and what you think is noble." James retorted, panic making his words come quicker as though he were drunk.

"I'm not the only one." Remus pointed out. The two men squared off in the empty hallway, eyes smoldering until James sucked in a breath.

"This isn't helping." His acknowledgment was a hiss that barely parted his lips. Remus stayed silent, twisting his head away. James inhaled sharply again, resisting a sudden urge to slam his fist into the nearest wall.

Remus eyed the doors that lined the hallway, not replying to James' attempt at peace. He wasn't interested in peace, he was interested in locating Sirius, chewing him out if necessary, and finding Dora. It didn't even need to be in that particular order, he decided vehemently. But any other arguments or apologies were just interfering with recovering the missing first mate and saving Dora.

"Which one is it?" Remus barked out in frustration, glaring at the nearest door.

James went toward the nearest one, but drew his hand back quickly, hearing increasing movement behind the door. Despite the time urgency, a blush began to form on his neck and he cast a quick glance over at Remus, who stared at the door with a glare.

James opened his mouth to speak, but froze as he saw the girl standing just past Remus' shoulder in an open doorway. She was small, her hair quite red, and when she saw him her eyes visibly widened.

"Hey!" James called over to her, beginning to move past Remus. The girl disappeared backwards into her room and James sprinted down the hall, skidding to a halt outside the closing door. He threw out a hand catching the closing door with his forearm.

Remus had followed him swiftly, not knowing exactly who James had seen. He braced his own shoulder against the door and it swung open easily, sending the wench falling backward into the edge of her bed.

Remus stumbled forward into the room, eyes drinking in the girl's face as she straightened, the hope suffocating him. But the eyes were not the same, nor the hair, and the face did not match his memory. Remus felt his stomach drop as he returned the stranger's stare, unable to say anything around the disappointment choking him. He glanced sideways at James who was advancing on the wench, who in turn was shrinking backwards.

"Why did you run away from me?" James demanded, only slightly breathless.

"You came barreling down the hall like am mad person!" The girl accused, backing around the bed and clutching at the bedpost, anchoring herself to the room. "Get out of my room!" She ordered, though her voice wavered.

James frowned at her hair. It was clearly not Dora, but her hair was red enough to match the description from the drunk pirate. "I'm not leaving until you answer my question. I'm looking - "

"I'm not answering anything you ask me." She told him furiously. "You barged into my room. I should call someone up here to throw you out on your - "

James' fingers twitched toward the sword at his side but he stopped himself before he actually caught the handle. The movement itself, however, had been enough to stop the wench's words. Her eyes too wide, she stared up at him.

James swallowed, guilt at making the woman shrink away was pushed beneath the need to find Sirius. "I'm looking for a friend of mine, I was led to believe he might be here with you." James tilted the truth while carefully gauging her reaction.

The woman shook her head, her eyes focused on James' forehead instead of his eyes. "No...no one's here." She muttered slowly.

"He's tall, dark hair like mine. He might have even given you a name." James attempted, with a quick glance toward Remus, who shook his head sharply. "Sirius Black." James forced the words from his throat, barely seeing how Remus' face immediately turned to the empty hall in search of any eavesdroppers.

The wench sucked in a breath, then bit down hard on her lip, but it was too late to cover her mistake. "I don't know who you could be talking about." She said slowly, voice wavering.

"He's my friend and he's missing." James tried again, stepping closer to her. She left the bed post and backed further away. "If you know anything - "

"I don't know anything." The wench said, stronger now even though her eyes dropped away from his face to the wall behind him. "Now please leave!"

"If you're lying to protect him, you have nothing to fear from me...." James paused, stepping closer to the girl. "I swear." He added with a harsh breath, trying to find the balance between the trusting and threatening tinting his words.

The wench stared at him. Her gaze flickered back to Remus once, then to James. Finally she swallowed. "He came up here with me..." She began brokenly. "I brought him up because he looked so...."

"What happened?" James interrupted, his breath quick.

"Nothing." She looked at Remus, whose brow had furrowed. "I swear, nothing happened. I tried to calm him down...he was so panicked..." She muttered, more to herself than to the two men.

"Well where is he now?" Remus finally demanded. The wench brought her head up sharply. "He's not here, he's not downstairs, his boat is at the dock. Where is he?"

The girl swallowed. "I...he....he went down the hall...I told him what room and then..." Her voice broke off into a sob. James stared down at her, for a moment his cold concern for Sirius wavered, until the wench lifted her watering eyes back to meet his. "It was a trap...they...they were waiting for him...."

"They?" James demanded. Even as Remus spluttered. "A trap?"

The girl bobbed her head once. "They waited and followed him into the room and then knocked him out and -"

Remus' face drained of all color.

"You sent him into a trap?" James roared, his anger exploding without warning. The girl stumbled backward, knocking over the china pitcher as she fell backward against the opposite wall. The pitcher shattered around her feet and James advanced on her.

"I didn't! I didn't know – honest!" She pleaded, her back pressed against the wall. James' muscles thrummed with fury, even as he pulled himself to a stop a foot from the wench.

"You said they went in after him – you said it was a trap." Remus spoke, his voice icy calm, masking how his fists were shaking. He had followed James, anger rolling through him crushing waves.

"Yes but I didn't know it was a trap!" The wench defended. "I sent him to the room to help him – I didn't know they were watching him!"

"But you sent him -"

"He asked me to!" She interrupted, now it was her voice that rattled the window pane.

"He asked you to send him to another wench?" Remus' snide remark slipped.

Her eyes burned as she fixed her gaze on him. "No. He asked me to send him to Dora."

The breath cut his lips when Remus sucked in air, then choked. A force liken to that of a fist slammed into his stomach at the name. James could only stare.

"He was looking for a girl named Dora. He said he just had to find her – that it was important." The wench continued.

Feeling drained from Remus' body until he felt like an empty husk waiting to be swept away. "The girl...the girl you sent him to...?" Remus asked slowly, barely daring to believe...

But the girl shook her head, eyeing him with narrowed eyes. "It wasn't Dora, but she was blond and she'd been here far longer than I. I thought maybe she would know something...I swear I didn't even know they were watching us until it was too late...." She stopped, eyes distant with remembrance of Sirius' limp body being dragged down the hallway. The wench squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, tears burning with the thought that she had only watched. Whether on purpose or not, she had sent him into the trap and had done nothing to save him.

"Where did they go? Where did they take him?" James had not lost his voice as Remus had, though his words were wavering far more than was normal. The sounds ran together in a rush of urgency.

"Down the back staircase." The wench paused a weighted moment, the hesitation before leaving her blood on the devil's contract, then she grabbed James' arm, pulling him through the door and out into the hall.

Neither man had time to question her before she shoved open what appeared to be a sealed door. There were no lights, and through the narrow James could only make out the first two steps from the light in the hall.

"Forty nine steps, after the tenth there's a gap." She whispered the instructions, glancing over her shoulder around the hallway. "After forty nine, slide to the left and you'll feel a latch – turn that and you'll be behind the abbey." She shoved James' shoulder so that he stumbled onto the hidden steps.

"They would have taken him down that path – it leads to the deeper shoals where they can bring their ships close to the island." She grabbed Remus' sleeve, pulling him toward James.

"If they make it on the ship you'll be too late...you may already be too late..." She spoke swiftly, softly. Her eyes watered slightly, heart pounding painfully in her chest and in that moment James saw that she was tempted to follow them, to perhaps lead them and in turn leave this place. But her eyes hardened the next moment.

"Go!" She ordered.

Remus dropped on the first step as the wench closed the door. The last thing he saw was red hair haloing a too young face before the door shut, leaving them in darkness.

"Start counting." James' murmur was close, then Remus heard hard sole hit rotting wood and followed, counting in his head.

Remus almost fell where the eleventh step should have been, but James' caught his elbow and heaved him onto the next step, which whined under their combined weight. James nudged him forward and soon they reached the last step. Remus slid sideways feeling along cold wet stone before his hand grazed the handle. He turned it and shouldered the door open, stumbling onto a rocky path, much less used than the first.

Remus paused, but James moved through the doorway and out into the foggy air. The early morning mist was beginning to drift in from the sea and James felt panic rise like a three horned beast and claw at his throat. He didn't call, didn't check to make sure Remus followed, instead he took off running, half stumbling, down the path to the misted docks below.

Remus kept pace with James, feeling pebbles slipping under his boots. His heart hammered against muscle and bone, begging even as it fought to keep him moving, keep his breathing close to normal.

They stumbled onto the long empty dock breathless, but James had enough strength to grab the shirt of the man standing guard and slam him into one of the pillars of the dock.

"Where is the ship?" James snarled.

"Let....go..." the man gasped.

"Where is the ship?" James slammed him harder into the post. "Tell me or so help me I will send you to Davy Jones! Tell me!"

"There is no ship! It left!" The man choked.

James' grip tightened. "They boarded recently. Did they have a man with them? A dark haired man?"

"I think....Yes!" The man yelped, as the grip tightened. "They were carrying a man....unconscious or dead I don't know. I'm paid to watch the ship not ask questions!"

"What else?" James demanded.

"They boarded and left...not half an hour ago...got out really quick too. Never seen Lestrange want to make sail that fast before....in a real temper...."

Remus stared at the man, his mouth dry. "Lestrange?" His voice was a croak. "Lestrange...sailed out of here?" His voice was void of emotion.

James stared up at the man he had pined. "Where were they going?" His voice was a whisper.

"I've got no idea. I've never gone with 'em anywhere, I swear." James tightened his grip and the man gasped for breath. "They headed north, I think....maybe north-east...."

James swallowed and dropped the man, staggering back a step. Remus' fist tightened unconsciously around Sirius' coat still clutched in his hand. The second mate started to reach out a hand, but missed as James turned sharply and walked down the length of the dock.

The captain stopped and stood at the edge of the dock, watching the empty sea. A wave smashed against the dock, splattering cold salt water across his legs. James swayed, hands clenching and unclenching in a silent mantra.

Remus braced a hand on a post, digging his fingers into the crumbling wood. His legs shook, threatening to crumble beneath him.

"Hey." The guard was rubbing his neck where James had grabbed him. Remus dragged his eyes from James' back.

"The man they took – he a friend?"

Remus bobbed his head once, mouth too dry to speak.

"Ah...well I wouldn't wish to be him right about now."

Remus stared at him, aware of the immobile figure standing against the gray sea. "Why is that?" He finally managed to ask.

"Because if he ain't dead yet....he will be soon."


	16. Licking Our Wounds

**A/N: Okay so technically I'm a few hours off on the weekend promise, but that is only because I rewrote part of the chapter at the whim of a character, and I think the chapter itself is better for it. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - I am writing your replies as I type. And I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter :) **

**And in advance - Review, review, review please!!! I'll update faster if you do ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is associated with the HP Universe, I do own this storyline, however.**

Chapter 15: Licking Our Wounds

Remus dragged himself over the rail onto the main deck. He felt half drunk and stood as though heavy lead had replaced blood that was stilled in his veins. Limp limbs barely kept him standing by James, who wasn't looking at him, but rather at the flushed-faced woman striding across the deck towards them.

"James Potter, what were you thinking? You promised me – and you went and put yourself in danger anyway?" Lily's voice was like a hammer smashing the already crumbling pieces of James' heart into powered bits. He winced as she stalked up to him, hands fisted and shaking as though she longed to hit him.

"You just left!" Her voice broke slightly, but the anger overpowered the wavering and she pressed on. "I thought you'd already sent Sirius. Do you not have confidence enough not to have to-" Lily stopped abruptly, truly seeing the man who carefully avoided her eyes.

Lily reached out a hand, but James flinched away as she tried to brush his hand. Lily's hand retracted for a moment, then her mouth set in a firm line. "What happened?" her voice was soft, a sharp contrast to seconds before.

James made no reply at first, looking at something beyond the figurehead of the ship. Remus continued to watch in muted admiration as Lily finally caught James' evading wrist and pulled herself closer to the tensed captain. James' breath visibly caught and he could not bear to look down at the green eyes watching him. Remus saw Lily's lips moving, but he couldn't hear the words that forced James to finally twist his gaze to the small hand clutching his arm.

"They took him." James' words were chopped short. "They took Sirius. He's gone."

Lily stared up at him. No gasp or cry broke from her lips. She didn't faint or break down. Instead, after a moment of stunned silence, and with eyes only slightly wide with shock, Lily pressed her free hand against James' chest, over his throbbing heart.

"James..."

James wrenched himself free from her. "I don't know where he is..." James backed away from Lily, then turned and practically fled into his cabin, away from the prying eyes of the crew and Lily.

Left on the deck, Lily could only stare at the closed door. Blood roared painfully in her ears as she turned to where the second mate had stood. "Remus, what - " But in the midst of his captain's escape, Remus too had vanished below deck. Lily fisted her hands, glancing between the two doors hiding guilt-ridden men.

---------------

Remus strode down the corridor, glowering at the shadows that stretched along the walls, hiding the cracks and knots in the wood. He shouldered open his door, then let it slam as he leaned against the cold wood. Remus slid down the door until he was seated on the floor, arms curled around his knees.

Remus could not think. He could not think about how much he wanted to kill Lestrange, how much he wanted to hold Dora in his arms, how much he wanted to simply smile at a stupid joke that Sirius had made. His breath caught. All of those desires had paled in the minutes it had take him and James to separately row silently back from the dock. Paled in comparison to what had happened....to the loss they had just suffered.

His limbs shook as his eyes adjusted to the darkened shadows and he could make out the hammock that had hung empty for weeks. Empty and cold. Remus surged to his feet, tearing at the blankets and clothes that had served as a patch worked blanket. He threw the clothes with a roaring curse across the room, sending something unseen clattering to the floor. He ripped at the hammock, tearing it from the hooks and tangling it around his body until he fell back against the wall with a choking sob, sliding down and clutching his face with quivering fingers.

It was his fault. All of it. He had demanded they look for Dora, demanded it with every danger. And when Sirius had willingly taken the danger he, Remus, had scorned and spat at him. Sent him off to find _his_ love without even wished luck. Remus cursed through a coarse breath.

And now, because of his own actions, because of his determination and because he had so underestimated his friend, his brother, Sirius could be dead. Dead at the hands of Lestrange. Remus slammed his fist into the floor, screaming in fury.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

A knock brought him to his feet and he threw open the door, preparing to attack the person who dared interrupt him. He barely caught himself when he saw Lily standing in the dim hallway.

"Lily." He inhaled quickly rubbing a hand over his face, then swallowed away the bitter poison in his mouth. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with James?"

"I will, once I find out what happened." Lily eyed the blotchy red cheeks of the second mate and took a long breath. "I need to know what happened, Remus."

"Ask James." Remus sidestepped.

"I'm asking you." Lily pointed out sharply.

Remus stared down at her. Lily fixed him with unwavering eyes, offering no room for argument or dissuasion. Remus took a long, labored breath, bracing one arm against the door frame. "Sirius made it to the pub. He spent some time playing dice and then he followed a wench upstairs."

He tugged at the bottom of his shirt, avoiding Lily's determined eyes. "She sent him to another woman who might have had information on Dora...but it was a trap. Lestrange took him from the island, dragged him onto his ship and disappeared." Remus recited slowly.

"Where?" Lily questioned.

Remus shrugged a shoulder. "I...we don't know." Remus looked at his shoulder, his words mumbled into the cloth of his shirt. "We don't know where he is....or if he's still alive..."

Remus' heart clenched at the thought, before tentatively releasing. He let out a breath, almost forgetting that the redhead was watching him, her face flushing.

"How dare you, Remus." Lily suddenly spoke. Remus jumped as though he'd been slapped.

"Excuse me?"

"For six years you looked for Dora, Remus. And barely minutes after Sirius' disappearance you've already given up on him?" Lily chastised him, advancing forward and forcing Remus to retreat a step. "How dare you give up on your best friend!"

Remus' mouth moved though no words came out. "I haven't....given up." Remus stammered. He swallowed again, trying to clear the coarseness of his throat. "I haven't....I just...we don't know...." The arguments fell in shattered pieces on the floor between them.

Lily took a long breath as though preparing herself for a plunge into ice water. "You were willing to die to find the woman you love, Remus. Didn't Sirius earn that same respect?"

Remus brought his head up quickly, eyes too wide as he watched the woman standing before him in the hall. His lips formed the word, but his voice refused to bring the answer to her ears. After several silent moments, Lily turned away from him.

Remus watched her leave, his lips miming the word until the shadows completely enveloped the redhead. And still Remus could not find the answer needed to break forth from his raw throat to his wounded heart.

-------------------

Lily did not bother knocking on the next door she reached. Instead, she turned the handle and gently pushed the wood panel open just enough to slip through, then softly closed it behind her shoulder. The room was dark, though the rising sun sent red and orange hues stretching through the window.

James' silhouette was black against the pastel colors. His face was turned to the warmth trickling through the window, though his eyes were not really seeing.

Lily waited in the middle of the room, her breathing evenly matched with James'. She waited, waited for James to tell her a legend about the reason the sunrise sent out colors of blood in the new morning. Waited for him to tell her to leave, for him to cry, for him to say something. But silence pulsed through the room, like a predator, alive and slinking along the shadowed corners of the room.

"James." She finally spoke, shattering the eerily calm silence. His head shifted slightly but he didn't look at her. "James. Yell at me."

Now he did turn. He twisted to face her, eyes widening under his brow.

"What?" He asked, his voice a rasp.

"Yell at me." She repeated slowly, walking closer.

He shook his head slowly. "Why would I yell at you?" He asked, walking around the desk, watching her curiously. Beyond the curiosity though, Lily could still see the shards of glass threatening to cut him from the inside.

"You need to yell at me." She said, her voice shook slightly when he stepped closer.

James shook his head again. "No...I don't. You've done nothing wrong..."

"Neither have you." She reminded him. He flinched, twisting his head away from her, before cracking a strained fake smile.

"Lily..."

"No, James. Yell at me." She demanded. Lily reached out and grabbed James' arm, digging her nails into his skin. "Yell at me."

"No." James tried to pull back but Lily gripped his other arm. "I'm not - "

"Yell at me!"

"Stop it." He begged.

"No." Lily refused to let go. "No I will not stop, not until you yell at me."

"Lily I don't understand - "

"James, yell at me!"

"No!" He shouted, struggling backwards, trying to break her grip. "Lily, leave me alone, please..."

"Yell!"

"Why don't you leave me alone!" James cursed, pulling away with all his strength. "Don't you understand? He's gone....he's _gone_!" James screamed. He grabbed Lily's arms so hard that Lily thought he might break them. He shook her, rattling the teeth behind her tight lips.

"Sirius is gone! I sent him into hell without a way out and if he dies....if he dies that's my fault! His death is my fault! And you come in here wanting some stupid argument? Don't you understand, I can't find him! I can't - " He shoved her away from him so abruptly that Lily didn't have time to prepare and she caught her rib on the corner of his desk, then dropped, her knees hitting the floor.

The blood haze that had enveloped him, dissipated from James' eyes at the sight of Lily on the ground. He dropped to his knees, crawling over and cradling her against him.

"Lily. Damn it, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so..." He murmured against her hair, hugging her against his chest, stroking her hair, his other hand caressing her ribs looking for any crack or bruise.

"James, I'm fine." Lily gasped pulling away from him to hold his face with her hands. Tears fell down James' flushed cheeks, his eyes were red rimmed and his face was crumbling between her hands. The emotions flowed freely down his face, carried by each of the salty tears and through each harsh gasp that was fighting its way from his lungs.

"Lily, I didn't mean..."

"I know...." She crooned at him, carefully wiping the tears that trailed a path down his cheek.

"I....I didn't...." James bowed his head, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. She could feel tears wetting the fabric, could feel the hiccuped sobs against her skin. Lily wrapped her arm around James' shoulders, holding him to her.

"I know....I know....it's not your fault. Do you hear me James? It's not your fault..." She whispered into his hair.

James shook his head against her shoulder, pulling her closer against him. He murmured words that even she couldn't understand until finally the sobs stopped and Lily felt James fully body weight leaned against her. She shifted and the exhausted captain slipped into her lap, his head pressed against her stomach. Lily stroked the hair from his forehead as the tears dried over James' cheeks while the red hue turned to ghostly pale light.

----------------

Lily was not tired, though James' upper body has already put her legs to sleep her mind was awake. Painfully awake.

A part of her refused the idea. The idea that Sirius was gone, whether that gone meant kidnapped or dead. She could not accept it, could not understand how it was possible for Sirius, of all people, to be gone. If James was the heart of the ship than Sirius was the lungs, breathing life into the crew, into its captain. Lily shook her head ruefully, Sirius had even breathed life into her when she had first arrived on the ship. Stale air perhaps, but it was still air. She could not accept that he was not on the ship and that he seemed to be so out of reach for even James and Remus.

And yet there was another part, the young girl who was abandoned on an empty road by her protective brother. A part that knew the truth, an undeniable truth from the second mate and the captain. That part clawed at her stomach, made her yearn to remain forever curled on the floor, clinging to James as he had clung to her.

James.

Lily's eyes dropped to the man still huddled against her. His brow was furrowed, a frown twisting his lips in his unconscious state. Every few moments he would shift, bringing his face up against her stomach, a form of contact that seemed to calm his exhausted nerves, if only for the briefest of moments. Lily ran a hand along his bangs knowing that she had been on the floor for much too long, but unwilling to force the man in her lap to face the world just yet.

A knock on the door made Lily start, jarring James' shoulders in the process. "Enter." Lily let her voice carry, eyes glancing warily down to James.

The door opened and John entered, twisting his hand in scarf of cloth. "Ah...Lily...." He didn't look surprised to see her, but he did look uncomfortable as he gestured toward James. "Is he...?"

Lily tightened her lips. "He is..." She paused, glancing down again. "Alive." She concluded, though in her heart she wondered if it were true.

John wrinkled his brow, then cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully. "We...uh...we don't know where to go." He finally said.

Lily heard more than the words. James was emotionally and physically exhausted, and was now collapsed in a half-guilt driven, half emotion-overloaded stupor. Sirius was missing and she did not know when or if Remus would emerge from below deck. There was almost nothing left of the leaders, and a crew could not adequately function without direction.

Waiting here they were sitting ducks and every moment meant Sirius was further away. They needed a heading, and now.

"The port of Brinsley." Lily said. John stared at her. "Make a heading for Brinsley. You know the way, correct?"

John nodded. "Aye, we know the way."

"Put Mitz at the helm, rotate with him and Otto. Get us there as fast as possible and keep someone's eyes on our shoals." Lily ordered.

John's lips twitched slightly as though he were holding back a smile. "Yes, ma'am."

---------------

The mid morning haze licked at the boots of the only three inhabitants of the main road. The wind was harsh and gray clouds threatened rain on the horizon. The town was silent, sleeping off the drunkenness or barely waking up for the day ahead.

James climbed the stairs to the door of the Inn. He lifted his fist, then rested it softly against the wood, frowning at the callused skin. Behind him, Remus and Lily waited, their eyes on the empty road.

The captain reached for the knob instead, easing the door open without invitation, then slipping under the shadow draped door frame. Lily followed at his heels, with Remus carefully taking up the rear with only a quick glance behind him before shutting the door.

Lily stepped around James' elbow, and watched the brown haired woman who was wiping tables before them. Her hair was falling in wisps, her lip puckered in concentration at the wood she was trying to clean. Lily looked up at James, who had frozen a few feet into the room, eyes darkening slightly.

"Liz..." James' voice carried through the empty room and the woman jumped at the name.

Liz turned and her mouth dropped slightly, before curling into a teasing smile. Propping a hand on her hip she shook her head. "James Potter. Seeing you all twice in as many months? It must be my lucky year." She chuckled, but the sound faded from her lips as she better looked at their faces.

James' eyes had seemed darker for the past days, as though he was searching for something beyond just what was in his line of vision. Remus hadn't spoken, but he had spent most of the previous day out on the deck instead of below it, and his cheeks were peeling from the reintroduction to the sun. And Lily, Lily could feel the dark circles forming under her eyes, could feel the hoarseness of her throat from her shouted orders to the crew.

Liz stared at them all, her hand slipping from the rag resting on the table, to fall limply at her side. Her eyes swept between the three silent messengers and her forehead wrinkled. "Where's Sirius?" She finally asked.

Remus turned away, walking to the far doorway where he remained apart from the group. His shoulder shielded his face from view, as well as Liz's face from his own eyes.

Liz's eyes fell on Lily, but Lily forced all her focus upon James, who swallowed hard, then looked down at Lily briefly, before returning his gaze to Liz. When he finally spoke his words were monotone, practiced for hours while pacing across the floor of his cabin.

"We found the coven." James began "We followed the directions of a former crew member who knew where members of the coven normally docked. We thought if the coven was there than Dora might be - "

"Were you right?" Liz demanded.

James ground his teeth together in frustration. The words had been recited, forgotten, and re-woven to give Liz the news in the only way James thought she, and he, could handle it. But her interruption was not making it any easier.

"We don't know....it's possible that Dora was there but – Sirius went onto the island alone and - "

"You knew the coven was there and you sent him in alone?!" Liz interrupted, her voice pitching in volume.

"We couldn't risk drawing attention to ourselves by sending a larger group. It was the best plan we had." James defended, as much to himself as to Liz. He felt Lily's hand move to grip his elbow in reassurance, but he still could not quell the guilt rolling around in his stomach.

"The best plan you had was to send one man into a hornet's nest?" Liz could feel fear and anger warring with one another to take control. Anger was the easier to express, however, and it won out in her charged words directed at the rigid captain.

"He volunteered!" James yelled sharply. "The fool volunteered. And by the time we'd got there, they'd already taken him!"

The echo left from James' words reverberated into the rafters before crashing down upon the occupants of the room. Remus twisted slowly, turning and watching as Liz's face paled.

"Taken him?" Her lips were bloodless as she formed the words. "What do you mean....'taken him'?"

"They laid a trap and they took him." James felt the breath escape his chest. "By the time we got to the island, they were already gone..." James swallowed hard. "We don't know if...if he's..." The captain bit his lip hard to keep the final word from escaping

Liz stumbled back into the table, ignoring how the furniture rocked from the force. Her hand pressed against her stomach as if holding the rocking contents in place. Her mind reeled as she groped for the table with her other hand, her head shaking left and right while her mind reeled.

This couldn't be, her mind roared at her. This....this was Sirius. Sirius was immovable, invincible. His smile, his laugh....he couldn't be...

"No." Liz shook her head. "No...that cannot be....you're lying."

"I am not lying." James whispered, his chest clenching.

"You're...Sirius isn't...." Liz shook her head again. Sirius was always the first in a fight, as flamboyant as a dandy, but strong, capable. A shield. A shield never failing. He could not be gone. Behind her clenched eyelids, Liz could see their final encounter – her shying away from his touch, not even whispering a word of farewell to him. Her heart sunk from her breast to rest painfully against her gasping lungs. Liz's hands lifted, tearing at her hair in frustrated anger and helplessness.

James moved forward, more on instinct than with thought. His arm slipped out of Lily's grasp as he moved toward the shaking woman before him. James caught Liz's elbows, pulling her arms away from her hair.

"Liz...Liz, listen to me!" Her eyes lifted but didn't seem to be able to focus on him. James' grip tightened in reassurance. "Liz, I know. I understand."

Fury erupted in her chest at the words. Understand? How dare....Liz jerked free from his grip, stumbling back a step from the force. "Understand?" She spat at him. "How could _you_ understand?"

James' jaw slackened and he fell backwards a step, stunned by the sudden venom.

But Liz was far from done. Pulsing anger fanned by James' admission and her own regret had taken over. This was his fault, her mind screamed for her heart was too far gone to bring in any argument. _James_ had agreed to the quest, had sent Sirius into danger, had _left_ him there alone! And then pretended that he understood?

"This is your fault, James!" Liz accused him. "You sent Sirius there – you left him there!"

"I didn't - " James attempted.

"You did! You left him alone! You knew it was dangerous – and yet you sent him there anyway!!" Liz hissed at him, her body shook as she advanced on him.

Lily moved forward, her lips parting, ready to defend James. But Remus caught her before she could reach James. Lily lifted her eyes in a smoldering glare toward the second mate, silently ordering him to let her go. But he wouldn't.

"You worried about 'everyone else' but you didn't worry enough about him!" Liz accused. Lily opened her mouth but Liz had gasped for another hoarse breath, her blazing eyes intent on James. "You were right there, James! You were right there....why didn't you do anything?" Liz asked, her voice cracking.

"Why didn't _you_ save him?" The bitter words seeped through Liz's lips as she sagged onto a chair, hands pressed over her face.

James felt the color drain his cheeks. His mouth was too dry, his hands too twitchy, his heart beat too loud. James barely noticed Lily as he turned on his heel and left the Inn. He didn't even see Remus follow and flank him.

The only thing James realized was the emptiness at his right side.

--------------

Lily had turned as James had moved past her, she had seen the set of his shoulders and the heated anger and hurt, so much different than his usually calculated anger, flushing his face. The door had slammed before she could move forward and so she stood now, staring at the closed door, left in the dim room, and painfully aware of the woman hunched over behind her.

Her own anger was hard to keep down in the pit of her stomach. She glanced once over her shoulder and watched as Liz sat, face hidden by her hands and fallen hair, shaking like a person with the chills. Her heart warred with fury, insult and compassion while Lily forced her gaze back to the door. She longed to follow James, to find him, comfort him, make him see that Liz was wrong.

But there was a stronger side of her that turned her from the door to face the innkeeper still at the table. The redhead's temper was barely kept in check as she walked, each step purposefully kept slow and calm, toward Liz. She stopped a few feet away.

"It is not James' fault." Lily said to the older woman. "He did everything he could – he has been doing _everything_ he can!" Lily threw a hand toward the door where the man in question had disappeared.

"Do you not realize he is dying inside right now? It's like a limb has been cut away from him – Sirius is his best friend, his brother, Liz! _You_, more than anyone else, know that. How could you think to say that this was his fault? How could you think to assume he doesn't feel the same guilt and helplessness you are feeling right now?" Lily demanded, her voice rising.

There was silence following her words, except for a faint hum that seemed to come from the Liz. Lily frowned slightly, stepping closer. And only then did she hear the words that Liz murmured to herself.

"I left him on the dock...left him alone, standing on that dock....I could've said...I could've done...."

The words broke up more and more with each murmur. Lily reached forward, forcefully pulling a hand away from Liz's face. Liz straightened slightly, as if seeing Lily for the first time. Lily's frown did not waver in the wake of the blotchy face of the older woman. Liz shied away slightly from the glance, but held Lily's hard gaze with her own pained one.

"I left him on the dock...completely alone...." Liz murmured slightly. Her hand twisted in Lily's grip, grabbing Lily's wrist with a shaking hand. The redhead stared down at her, eyebrows lifting in heart numbing realization as Liz continued.

"I didn't tell him goodbye."

-----------

The throbbing of his head brought Sirius abruptly back to consciousness. The second thing he was aware of, besides his throbbing head, was a burning on his wrists. Without opening his eyes, Sirius twisted his hands, only to feel the fiber of a rope cutting his arms.

Cautiously, Sirius opened his eyes. He was in, what appeared to be, the hull of a ship. Even in the dim light he could make out the slopping walls on either side, coupled with the familiar wave movement led him to believe he was on the sea. The room was empty, from what he could tell, though the room was in more shadow than light. There were no windows and only a door on the wall opposite of him.

He twisted his neck, finding that he was lying on one shoulder that had long grown numb. His hands were tied securely behind his back, making his muscles moan with soreness. With a grunt and a few shoves of his knees and bound elbows, Sirius pulled himself upright. He fell back a foot, his back finding the wall nearest to him.

Sirius' mind was fuzzy as he tried to piece together that had happened. He remembered the port, going to the pub, looking for Dora. There had been another wench, then a room with a girl and then....only pain and blackness.

Sirius blinked his eyes against the still present ache in the back of his head. What exactly had happened, he didn't know, but he did know he was no longer at the pub, and certainly not on _the Marauder_.

How long have I been unconscious, Sirius wondered to himself, eyes scanning the walls again. Have James and Remus noticed I'm missing? Did they come looking for me?

The answer to the last two questions seemed meaningless to him in that moment. Whether they had come after him or not, they hadn't found him. The ropes digging into his wrists were evidence of that.

There was a thunk, the sound of a lock falling out of place that was normally so soft echoed throughout the room. The door slowly opened and Sirius watched a small figure come in and the door close at their back. There was another thunk and the door was locked again. The figure turned to face him fully, and Sirius could see enough of the curves in the dim shadows to tell it was a woman.

The woman stepped to one of the walls and struck a match. In the sudden flare of light Sirius could see a small table and a lamp. The spark caused the first mate to jump, but the woman did not turn her face to him, merely lit the lantern and blew out the match.

The glow from the single lantern inched across the floor to Sirius' boots and illuminated the woman in a dusty yellow aura. When she turned to look at him, Sirius could only stare. Her hair fell in black ringlets around a pale face. His brow creased slightly in remembrance of the woman he had spoken to at the pub. The woman who had told him...

"You...you're the wench who warned me...at the pub." His voice was a hiss as he stared into her oddly familiar set of blue eyes.

Her mouth was set as she reached up and pulled at her hair, only to have the wig fall into her palm. Short golden strands of hair stopped just above her shoulder as Sirius' jaw slackened.

"Why didn't you listen?" Dora demanded.


	17. Captured

**A/N: Okay so this chapter was written last week and then was rewritten 4 more times since then because frankly this chapter scares me in that I am very unsure about it and if I have accomplished what I wanted to with it. In fact I'm pretty much terrified that I didn't, which would be why it was rewritten 4 times. However, I think I am typing myself around in circles and to prevent my overachieving and worrying writer's soul from trying to mess with it a 5th time I decided to just take the plunge and post this chapter. I've realized in writing this chapter that Sirius and Dora are probably going to be the hardest characters to portray for the rest of the story because they are so broken on the inside, they just manage to hide it very well, but I think they are going to develop and heal throughout the rest of the story and hopefully it'll get easier to shift around through their minds. Hopefully you'll see what I mean if not in this chapter in later ones. This chapter is not as long as the last one, but the one following this is a monster of a chapter and therefore I hope that will make up for it. Please, please, please review as, like I said, I am highly nervous for this chapter and want to know what you have to say about it. So without any more of my babbling, here is the next chapter:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter, I do own the storyline and any other characters you might not recognize.**

Chapter 16: Captured

"Dora?" Sirius could not believe the name was falling from his lips as he stared at the woman in front of him. She looked as though she had simply stepped out from one of his memories, save for her hair which fell in straight locks rather than bouncing curls. But it was still golden and those eyes...those unnerving blue eyes were fixed on his own with an unfamiliar intensity.

"Dora..." The name felt strange to say, but Sirius had to repeat it, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, or hadn't taken a harder hit to the head than he'd originally thought. But there was no denying it was Nymphdora Tonks staring down at him.

A bubbling filled Sirius' stomach, swirling the guilt, euphoria, horror, and relief at seeing the woman standing before him. The combined weight of the emotions threatened to send up the remaining alcohol his stomach contained, while making his chest swell and throb in both pleasure and pain. Sirius could not seem to navigate around the emotions and focus on just one of them, so tightened were they in the knot sitting just below his breastbone that he could merely allow one of them to control his lips, twisting the corners into a strange version of a smile.

"You're alive." Sirius finally formed the words, breathless and hardly knowing exactly what he was saying. He could not pick between the voices of Remus, James, and even Cook that warred in his own head, all wanting their own questions and desires answered or their previous advice, or determination in Remus' case, rewarded by him.

"Why didn't you leave when I told you?" Dora demanded.

Sirius blinked at her, feeling most of the voices in the back of his head silenced. Remus' faint voice was the only one left, inching forward in the silence following Dora's anger, and tentatively taking charge of Sirius' tongue. "Dora...it's me...Sirius..." Sirius' bemused expression took in the frown puckering her forehead and wrinkling her lips.

"I know who you are." Dora's voice was a whip. She stood, hands clenched tight at her sides. Sirius' mouth shut abruptly. "Why are you here?" Dora questioned fiercely.

If Sirius had paused to consider what Dora's reaction to their reunion would be, her words would not have made it into any of his possible imaginings. If he'd taken the time to think on it, Sirius would have imagined a happy reunion, with many kisses passed between Remus and Dora, a hug for himself and James...but not the anger that was literally leaking from the former wench, dripping off every word and swallowing him in her blistering gaze.

"I...I'm..." Sirius stammered, searching for any reason. Your lover knew you were alive, but I thought you were dead and decided that it should be me that volunteered to try and find you....somehow Sirius didn't think that that would help her anger. Taking a long breath, Sirius squared his shoulders, digging deep for the confident, flippant man he'd been mere months ago. It wasn't hard, though his bound wrists twisted his arms painfully as a result, as if reminding him of the real reason even as he spoke, "I'm here to rescue you. Obviously." He added, feigning a slightly wounded tone.

Albeit, Sirius admitted as Dora's face shifted from pure anger to simultaneous bewilderment, it wasn't the most graceful of rescues. Nor exactly planned on his part – but he supposed it should have been slightly obvious what his intended course of action was.

Dora stared at him for a long moment, unreadable emotions jumping across her face amidst the shadow. When she finally spoke her words were leveled and without emotion.

"What makes you think I need rescuing?"

It was several moments before Sirius could process what she had said. When he had, his mouth slackened. Cloaked in a haunting shadow, Sirius could see that she was absolutely serious in her questions and the resulting anger at this realization bubbled up within him. Sirius barely managed to keep it below the surface of his control.

"What makes - you disappeared! Without any sign or any of us knowing how, why or where. I think that would call for some degree of rescue." He spoke through a suddenly locked jaw.

"Did you ever entertain the possibility that I left freely?" Dora asked, not moving any closer to him. She spoke with enough coolness and conviction that Sirius almost believed they were true...almost.

"You would never have left on your own accord." Sirius rebutted with feeling.

"You cannot say what I would have done." Dora informed him. Her voice was beginning to shake, but she pressed on. "You don't know me that well, Sirius." She the barbed words at his face.

"I know Remus." Sirius spat, ignoring the sting from her accusation. He watched Dora's face immediately pale at the name. "You cannot tell me that you would have willingly left him. Nor could you make me believe that if you were free you _wouldn't_ be searching the oceans to find him again!"

Sirius' chest hurt at his own words, at the thought of his friend leagues away. The words he'd spoken reverberated like an eerie echo in his head. He'd told Remus that Dora wouldn't want him, that she was dead, that they'd never find her....

"He's looking for you." Sirius spoke slowly, his voice slightly hoarse. "He never stopped looking for you."

Sirius spoke the words, knowing that it wasn't only for Dora's benefit that he stressed Remus' conviction, emphasized the knowledge that Remus had looked for her and was still looking for her. In fact, the words felt like they were a promise to himself. That even though he, Sirius, had screwed up and not watched his back properly and was now taken prisoner by someone only the devil knew, he believed that there was still a ray of hope. Remus had not given up on Dora despite the first mate's own condemning words, and he would not give up now, if not for Sirius then for Dora. Sirius swallowed. There was still someone looking for them...someone had to be.

"He's still looking for you..." Sirius told her, eyes not really on the former wench. "And he'll find us."

Dora's head rose sharply and her face regained its blood as she stared down at him. Her mask fell firmly back into place, renewed determination tightening her lips and pinching her brow.

"It doesn't matter."

Sirius' face nearly turned purple at the grating response that ripped him from his earlier determined thoughts. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach from the way his breath caught painfully midway through his throat.

"How does it not matter?" He felt his own fury raging within his chest. At his stupidity, at the fact that it had been in looking for her that this had happened, at Remus and James probably furious but still looking for him, and at the woman standing before him saying that all their attempts at finding her 'didn't matter'.

"He looked for you for six years! He looked when everyone told him you were dead!" Sirius felt his own heart pang with the guilt, but he pushed forward. "You should at least be grateful that - "

"Grateful? For what? For this...rescue?" Dora mocked. "This is no rescue, Sirius. This is death. They know your name – they know your face – even if by some miracle you were to escape, you would be dead before you could get a boat length away. Don't you understand? You are going to die!" The last word was a bitter half choke.

"When we escape." He corrected her, swallowing hard to rid himself of the poisoned aftertaste her final words left him with. "And I have no intention of dying yet." He continued slowly, fighting the nerves thrumming toward his heart, grappling for the ripped threads of control and confidence falling around him.

"Your intentions no longer matter here." Dora told him, either ignoring or not hearing his correction. Her anger had fallen away from her eyes, replaced by a deformed regret.

Sirius bit down on the inside of his cheek, drawing blood in an effort to distract himself from the pain of his wrists and the prickling that speared him from each of Dora's words.

It was several more minutes before he could speak again in a relatively calm voice. All the while, Dora stared at the flickering flame of the candle. In the silence, defeat had wormed its way under his skin toward his heart. What reason would Remus have to come looking for him? After everything he had said, had done....but Remus would look for Dora. Sirius eyed the silent woman with eyes that had dimmed. Remus would never stop until he found Dora, he would never believe that she couldn't be found and so Remus would search, if not for Sirius than for Dora.

And then there was James, the feelings of helplessness faded away with the thought of his captain. Resolute James who never would have left him behind, would tear apart the sea looking for him just as Remus had been doing for Dora.

"They will come." Sirius repeated, his voice causing Dora to tear her hand from where it had been teasing the dripping wax of the candle. She stared at him now, blue eyes wide at the complete certainty of his words. "James and Remus will come and save us."

"You'd better pray no one comes to help you." Dora whispered around the strands of hair hanging near her cheeks.

Sirius almost didn't catch her words.

"If they do they'll only meet the same fate as you." Dora spoke monotone, as though reciting a long believed mantra. Her voice lowered even further, her eyes dropping away from Sirius' face. "You're better just wishing them to stay away."

Sirius' face went white with renewed temper. "Is that what you've been doing?" His demand made the candle's flame waver.

Dora turned fully away from him, stalking to the farthest wall, then stopping to stare at the wood. "What right," She asked the room in a voice that spoke of everything she had seen and felt for six long years, "would I have to wish for someone to come face certain death to find me? He would only be killed." Her eyes hardened in resolution, though Sirius could not see it. "I refuse to watch that happen."

Sirius wanted to throw the words back in her face, wanted to spit at what he perceived as self-recrimination emanating from the woman. But he could not form the words, could not mold the fire of almost betrayal that he felt at her declaration that she didn't deserve to be rescued, into words that would rightfully contradict her and would be powerful enough to silence such thoughts. But he couldn't.

He couldn't because Sirius remembered the many similar thoughts that had run through his own head and heart. And he didn't know the words to send such thoughts and beliefs away, either from himself or from her.

Sirius swallowed away the bitter bile in his mouth, leaning his back against the wall with his head bowed over his chest. Dora's fists had fallen limp as she kept her back facing the bound first mate.

"Why didn't you listen to me in the pub, Sirius." Dora eventually whispered. "Why didn't you leave? Why didn't you run?"

A smart remark, spurned by his buzzing headache and simmering anger, tried to slip out and failed. Sirius tilted his head against the wall and rolled his eyes upward to stare at the ceiling. He searched for the answer in the wooden beams of the ceiling, but nothing came.

"I don't know...."

If he had what would have happened then? Would whoever had knocked him out have followed him back to the ship...perhaps it was better then, Sirius thought to himself, better that he had not followed her request. One man dead was better than an entire crew....

Dead. Sirius shook his head, rattling his teeth abruptly. He wasn't dead yet, and he'd be damned if he was going to be anytime soon. He had found Dora and if it was the last bloody thing he did, he had to get her back to Remus, or at least keep her alive and safe long enough for Remus to arrive. And then he needed to apologize or something....

Sirius lifted his eyes from the floor, and was startled to find Dora watching him from her place against the opposite wall, determined to keep as much space between them as possible. Sirius licked his dry lips and opened his mouth, but a loud thud cut off anything that he would have said.

Dora's eyes widened as the door swung open. The sudden lantern light blinded Sirius momentarily, long enough for the three shadowy figures to enter the room and close the door. It wasn't locked this time, but Sirius doubted whether, when flashes of light stopped dancing before his eyes, he'd even be able to make it to the door, much less off the ship with a set of bound hands. Sirius blinked several times and the three faces slowly came into focus.

Two of them he didn't recognize. They were pirates, as tall as he was standing but meatier. The third however, dressed in the same clothes Sirius had last seen him in, was painfully familiar. Count Lestrange leaned casually against the table after placing the lantern down. Then, arms crossed, he smirked at the second mate still sitting on the floor.

Sirius' own eyes quickly darted toward Dora, but she now sat pressed against the far wall, her gaze kept firmly on Lestrange and never wandering toward her fellow prisoner. Nor did Lestrange ever glance toward the girl huddled in the corner. Sirius frowned slightly, but dragged his gaze back to Lestrange, whom he studied from under dark bangs, waiting for the pirate count to speak or move toward him.

So focused was he on Lestrange, that Sirius failed to notice one of the meaty pirates moving forward. He was taken completely by surprise by the fist that met his jaw and set his head into the wall with an echoing thud. His body fell half over from the impact and he twisted, trying to get off his side even with his bound hands. But the next punch hit him without any effort, as did two more before the two pirates abruptly stepped back to flank Lestrange.

Sirius clenched his teeth tightly together to contain the groan that threatened to break through his now split lip. His jaw was already beginning to throb, as was his right side where the last punch had squarely landed. With a grunt he rolled up onto his knees and then threw out a leg to stand up. His back hit the wall behind him, throwing him off balance, but at least he was at their level.

Lestrange seemed overly causal, not appearing to mind Sirius standing up. "I believe your _friend_ landed four similar punches in our little scuffle." His words slipped like vinegar over Sirius.

Sirius' eyes narrowed slightly. "Consider us even then." He bit out, his anger getting the better of his tongue.

Lestrange let out a snort of laughter. "Far from it." He rebutted. Lestrange linked his hands behind his back and Sirius caught sight of a pistol concealed behind the lapel of his chat. Sirius' fingers twitched slightly and he shifted to face Lestrange as the pirate count circled to his other side.

"I don't believe I was formally introduced to your friend." Lestrange contemplated. He fixed Sirius with a hard look. "I assume he did have a name."

Sirius spat away the blood that had pooled behind his lips. "Never seen him before in my life." He lied.

From the look on Lestrange's face, he didn't believe the lie. Sirius expected the punch that came and fell away just in time to avoid a fist to the head. But he wasn't quick enough to avoid the other bunch that clipped his already bruised ribs.

Sirius dropped hard to his knees, coughing for breath. One pirate grabbed the scruff of his shirt and placed enough pressure that Sirius felt as though he was bowing to the pirate count while the other held him down with one hand braced on his shoulder and another on his arm. Sirius struggled once only to have the grip on one arm tighten painfully. The first mate lifted his face, glaring up at the watching count.

Lestrange eyed the restrained man with a sneer. "Lying will not help your situation."

Sirius would have snarled if the grip on his shirt was not cutting off his breath. His eyes darted for the briefest of moments to Dora, who remained against the wall. She didn't look to have moved an inch, though Sirius thought he noticed her hands shaking.

The first mate whipped his gaze back to Lestrange. "What situation would that be?" He questioned. "The one where I'm tied up, kidnapped, knocked unconscious, or held by one of your beefy lapdogs?" The grip around his throat tightened and Sirius gagged slightly.

Lestrange's eyes narrowed, moving from Sirius' paling face to the pirate holding him. "Enough! We need the whelp alive!"

The grip released and Sirius sagged back down to his knees. His breath rushed gratefully back into his lungs and he stared at Lestrange's boots until his throat seemed to have lost its tenderness.

"Alive, huh?" Sirius muttered, still slightly breathless. His mind was dim from the ache in his head and his ribs, the blood on his mouth was bitter as he let the dangerously easy words rush from his lips. "Is that why you've taken such good care of me?"

The pistol pressed to his jaw was hardly unexpected, nor was Lestrange dropping to his level to come much to close to Sirius' face. Hot breath burned the blood on Sirius' lips and Sirius swallowed, trying to ignore how the pistol pressed harder against his skin.

"Oh yes we need you alive. A dead man tells no tales of his friends or crew or captain." Lestrange said, lips pulling back from his teeth in a catlike smirk.

_That_ was what they were after, Sirius realized. He didn't bother to glance at Dora now, knowing the reason that she hadn't been brought into the conversation. The pirates had not taken him because he had been looking for Dora, for the coven, and Lestrange, it had nothing to do with the wench they had kidnapped years ago. They had taken him because they thought James had Riddle's treasure, and he was a connection to James, and therefore they had assumed he would know where the ex-pirate or the treasure would be.

Well Sirius would be damned if he was going to lead them anywhere close to James.

Sirius lifted his chin slightly, his eyes smoldered from beyond his ruffled hair and bruised face. "You want tales?" He asked. Lestrange nodded his head once, eyes glinting in the flickering candlelight.

Sirius leaned a little closer, a smirk tilting his lips. "Go to hell and find some." He dared.

Lestrange's face clouded and he stood up swiftly, staring down at the kneeling man beneath him. His breath rushed quickly from his nostrils and he swung the pistol, clipping Sirius in the head and sending the first mate crumpling on to the ground with a muted grunt.

The pirate count stood over the unconscious man for a long moment, his body twitching with the desire to inflict more pain on the helpless prisoner. To see him bruise, bleed, and break. Break and beg for reprieve.

But it would all be wasted now. And they needed him. Needed a man with a working tongue, and a sound mind to relay the information they needed on his captain and his whereabouts. But only for now. And then he could...

Lestrange's frown tightened slowly, realizing too late that he had let his anger take over. And as a result he had not only failed to get any answers, he'd also sent their prisoner back into a black oblivion. Lestrange let out a spew of curses and then swept his eyes upwards toward the two remaining pirates.

"Go. Get out." He ordered. They moved instantly at the order, leaving him standing over the body. Lestrange sent one last furious look at Sirius, them moved to the door.

Letrange stopped short at the door frame. His head twisted downward, looking at the woman sitting a few feet away. Dora was returned the steady look with one of her own. Lestrange took a slight step closer but wasn't given the satisfaction of seeing her shy away. Instead, Dora eyed him, her hands fisted around her knees, eyes never wavering from his own burning eyes.

Lestrange's mouth curled in a snarl and he spat on the floor at her feet, then swept from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dora waited until she heard the lock fall back into place. She waited until her heart stopped hammering and her knuckles that had turned white from how tightly she was holding her skirt, recovered their blood. She waited until she counted one hundred heartbeats and breaths until she relaxed her back against the wall again. Until she turned her gaze from where Lestrange had stood, to the man on the ground.

Her palms dropped to brace themselves on the cool floor, but something stopped her from moving towards him. Dora twisted her head, resting her cheek on her shoulder to listen. The only sound was the faint breath coming from Sirius.

Dora bit her lip, hoping the pain would distract her from the body nearby. Her heart, which always seemed to be clenched painfully, twisted sharper at the sight of him. She wanted to move and help him, wanted to check his wound, make sure he was all right, hug him as she had half wanted to do in the pub, half wanted to do when she'd walked in moments before. She wanted to whisper to him about exactly what had gone on for seven years, to tell him, to tell someone. More than that she wanted him to tell her everything, of Remus, here her heart twisted even more, of James, of Liz. She wanted him to tell her all and she wanted to untie him and let Sirius rescue her like he'd said he intended too.

But the cooler half of her, the half that had been effectively molded, hardened, and embedded within her for the past seven years kept her firmly on the floor, far away from the unconscious pirate. The half that knew that any connection between them would hurt him more than it would help, the half that knew beyond any doubt that Lestrange would not allow Sirius to get through this unscarred or perhaps even alive. That half held her rigid, her muscles taunt and unmoving on the other side of the room.

Dora stayed against the wall until her hands grew cold from the draft under the floor. Slowly, the cool half and the clenching released. An unfamiliar throb entered the area under her breast, forcing her eyes to water. The guilt drifted from her heart, through the rest of her limbs until her blue eyes refocused on Sirius.

Slowly, making no noise and almost not moving at all, Dora moved toward the body. Her dress' skirt dragged on the wood and her hands tingled at the movement. She paused close to Sirius' head. Slowly, she brushed the tendrils of hair away from his forehead. Her hand felt as though it was burning from the contact but she continued to run her hand over his head, over the bruise forming on his forehead down to the blood at the edge of his lips.

Dora retracted her hand, pressing it deep in the contents of her skirt. Her fingers continued to burn, almost as though the unfamiliarity of physical contact was to blame. But another type of burn had risen in her stomach, a pleasant warmth that sought to drift and repair the uneven cracks in her heart. That warmth kept her there, kneeling against the wall, only a foot away from the unconscious Sirius, despite the danger she knew lurked just beyond the locked door.


	18. The Travails of Being An ExPirate

**A/N: So this chapter was written in January, but due to many factors - including classes and the musical - I hadn't had time to post it. Besides that, even though this chapter was technically done - I really didn't like the first version, so I took my creative writing teachers advice and rewrote almost the whole thing from scratch. I like this version so much better (perhaps I should take my teacher's advice more often ;)). So before I could pick at this chapter anymore I'm going to post it - thus preventing any other interference :). Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I was so pleased that you guys really seemed to enjoy it. So, without any more ado, here is the next chapter. Let me know what you all think!!**

**Disclaimer: If it is connected to Harry Potter I don't own it, if it is connected to Wind and Waves is purely from my own imagination!  
**

Chapter 17: The Travails of Being an Ex-Pirate

James' face was pale except for his cheeks, which were flushed with pulsing blood. He could feel the roar of his heartbeat in his ears and it seemed to shake him through his core and out into his limbs. He strode with long, purposeful steps down the street, bumping into a several people as he did so. But never once did his eyes drift in their direction and no words of apology broke through his lips.

Remus stumbled at James' side. His tongue refused to form any question to his friend. The only thing that Remus felt capable of doing in that moment was following James. No matter how sharp a turn James made, Remus was there, leaving only a hair's breath between the two of them. The second mate remained so focused on watching his friend's movements that it wasn't until James stopped short that Remus realized where James had been leading him.

The pub loomed before them, its windows dark and its walls silent. It was far too early for any pub to make good business. Remus stared at the wooden door for a long moment, then he turned toward James.

He had almost formed a question on his lips when James moved past him toward the door. Before Remus could move, James was pounding on the door loud enough to wake the whole street. Remus scaled the steps to reach James' side.

"James..." The note of caution in his voice surprised Remus, it had been a long while since he had cautioned anyone. Remus could not even completely understand the unease in his own voice. Between the two of them it should have been him that was attempting to break down the door, not James.

James whirled away from the pub and stumbled back down the steps. He sent a final glare toward the front door before walking swiftly down the alley that bordered the pub. Remus had to run to catch up with him. James stopped at the back door and tried the handle for several minutes, cutting his palm with the rusted edges before finally letting out a curse.

"Give me your gun, Remus." The order was so abrupt that Remus merely stared dumbly back at James. The captain waited, palm out while his eyes remained focused on the door. When the gun was not immediately produced, James turned his gaze to the second mate.

"Give me your gun." He repeated. Remus opened his mouth, but whether it was for a protest or an acceptance, Remus himself never found out. James, losing all remaining patience, grabbed the gun from Remus' belt. He turned sharply and fired the gun at the lock, which exploded as the ball and powder met the door frame.

The explosion was sure to alert someone to their presence, but James seemed not to care as he kicked open the splintered door and strode into the pub. Remus followed at his heels, with only a brief glance back at the half opened door.

Remus paused at the foot of an old staircase. His eyes traced each of the sagging steps and the splintered wooden railing. In the floor above he knew lay the rooms of all the wenches who called the pub their home. His mouth suddenly too dry, Remus swallowed and turned to find James. His eyes could only see the empty pub, each table and chair lit only by the early morning sunlight. Remus felt nerves take root in his stomach. He opened his mouth to call James' name but a shout and crash caused him to spin around.

There was no mistaking the man who stumbled out from a suddenly open door near the bar. His hair was slightly thinner than it had been six years ago, but the pub-master was just as short and just as meaty as he had been the last time Remus had seen him.

Remus immediately felt his blood boil, but to his shock James, who had followed the pub-master, grabbed the pub-master by the shirt and threw him further into the room. The pub-master stumbled over a chair, landing hard on the floor while James moved in.

"You son of a bitch." James spat, heaving the stunned pub-master up from the floor by the front of his worn shirt.

Remus gaped at his friend while the reasonable and vengeful sides of his heart warred with one another. He felt frozen to the floor. Even at the whimper from the dangling pub-master, Remus could not make his limbs move forward to steady James' hand.

James' clenched fists tightened in the shirt of the pub-master, balling the fabric until the pub-master choked. "Where is he?" He snarled at the gagging man.

The pub-master's only response was another whimper. James pivoted and shoved the pub-master into the bar so hard that the older man cried out. Remus flinched and felt his body finally come alive. He took several steps across the room, but he wasn't fast enough to stop James from shaking the pub-master, who was slumped painfully against the bar.

"Where did they take him?" James demanded. The pub-master's back pressed painfully into the edge of the bar and he threw up surrendering hands.

"I...I don't know what you're talking about!" He exclaimed in a pathetic plea.

Remus' face flushed in response. James' fist snapped the pub-master's head sideways. Another blow sent the pub-master's forehead into the bar before James pulled him up close. Blood dripped down the pub-master's face as he stared up in shock at the out of control captain.

"Lestrange took my friend. Tell me where he went." James hissed around clenched teeth.

"I don't know where-" The pub-master began before James punched him again.

"Liar! You know Lestrange! Where would he go?" Face flushed as red as the blood pouring from the pub-master's nose, James drew Remus' used pistol and shoved the barrel into the pub-master's throat, making the man gag. "Tell me where they took him!" The pub-master gasped for breath, his eyes so wide that Remus, who had stumbled around the overturned table, could see the whites of his eyes staring dimly up at James.

Bile rose in Remus' mouth and he was forced to swallow it away. Without thinking he grabbed for James' shoulder, but the captain threw off his arm.

"Tell me!" James ordered, pressing the barrel of the gun harder against the pub-master's throat.

Remus could not look at the frightened pub-master. Hatred for the man was like a heavy lead resting in his stomach. But he could not bear to see the honest fear and confusion across those despised features. The only other option was for the second mate to watch his captain, his captain whose breath came in labored pants, whose muscles were taunt as they held down the helpless man, whose knuckles were stained with blood and clutching an unloaded gun. Remus wanted to reach for James again, but he knew James would only shrug him off.

If Sirius were here, Remus thought bitterly as he watched James' red-rimmed eyes grow more frantic, if Sirius were here he would know what to say to make James stop. He would say something clever to make James return to himself....but then it was because Sirius wasn't there that James had lost himself.

"Tell me or so help me I will send your worthless corpse to Davvy Jones!" James swore in a voice that rocked Remus back on the balls of his feet. The gun had suddenly become cocked.

"Do that and you'll be following him soon enough." The abrupt female voice made Remus whip around. His hands automatically reached for his sword, but his fingers only brushed the hilt before he realized he was facing the barrel of a pistol. Remus froze where he stood, his heart pounding loudly in his eardrums.

"Put your gun down." The female ordered. It was only then that Remus realized James had not moved from where he held the pub-master. One fist was still clenched around the pub-master's shirt, the other hand held the gun against his throat.

Remus felt panic rise in his chest as he glanced between the gun trained on his friend and James who did not even lift his head to look at the woman. His muscles had grown taunter, but that was the only difference Remus could see.

"I said, put your gun down." The woman repeated. Remus glanced back at her. She was a shapely woman with graying curls that were escaping the cloth bound across her brow. She might have been beautiful if the hand which held the gun was not directed at them.

James made no move to follow her order, though his head did turn slightly. His eyes glanced toward her and his fingers tightened around the gun's handle. "No."

The refusal made Remus' heart sink. The woman's face hardened and without thinking Remus stepped forward to block Jame's from her vision. His hands out in almost surrender, Remus prayed that she would think it a waste of a bullet to shoot the man who was not holding the gun to the pub-master's throat.

She did not falter at his foolish move, but nor did she shoot him. "By now everyone has heard the commotion you made coming in here. You need to leave. Now."

"I'm not leaving until I get what I want." James responded with a snarl. His blood was hot with rage, thrumming through his muscles into the fist that tightened unconsciously in the strained shirt of the pub-master.

"And you think he has what you want? That's foolish!" The woman accused, her gun still trained on Remus' chest, which had grown sore from how frantically his heart was pounding. James didn't respond and the woman's gaze narrowed. "But you know that. You're just looking for someone to take your pathetic anger out on."

Her words were a blistering slap and James jerked away from the pub-master, letting the semiconscious man slump to the floor with a groan as James swung his arm around to point the gun over Remus' shoulder at the woman.

Remus twisted, only his back hitting the bar stopped him from losing his balance. He stared between the woman and James, standing barely feet apart with twin guns trained upon the other. The woman's gun did not blossom, but her mouth had twisted slightly. James stared at her through bloodshot eyes, and only now could Remus see the sweat caked on his friend's face.

Remus saw James' arm shaking, though the gun remained trained upon the woman. Remus knew the gun was empty, but the woman didn't and James didn't seem to care.

"This man is not an innocent...." James ground out, his voice wavering even while it thundered through the room.

"Neither are you." The woman countered.

James was silent in response, his eyes seemed to grow wilder in just the few moments it took for Remus to force his muscles to move, to grasp at the tendrils of what remained of his sensibility, and grab James' wrist.

"James...Nymphdora isn't here." It hurt to say it. It felt as though a shard of glass had sliced open his chest and tore at the tender muscle hidden beneath. But Remus forced the words out, hoping that in their logic James would calm down.

But James' hand tightened on the butt of the gun. Don't make me say it James, Remus begged silently, eyes darting between his friend and the woman. But the words knew no sympathy and fell unbidden from his quivering lips. "Sirius isn't here, James."

His tongue felt swollen in his mouth and if any more words had been required of him, Remus didn't know if he would have been able to speak. James' hand wavered for a long moment, then dropped abruptly to his side. The gun almost slipped from the suddenly weak fingers, but at the last moment James managed to retain his grip around the cool metal. His wild gaze did not leave the woman, but her eyes had shifted to Remus with a dark frown.

"Nymphdora...how do you know that name?" She asked, her voice had dropped its previous anger in favor of astonishment.

Remus silently stared back at her.

"He was her lover." James' harsh voice made Remus flush. The sharp words were almost a reprimand. Remus pulled his hand away from James and did not attempt to meet his captain's angry gaze. "Lestrange stole her from this pub over six years ago."

The woman shook her head. "No...Lestrange was thrown out of this pub six years ago. He didn't take Dora anywhere." She half mumbled the words, as though she wasn't sure if she wanted the men to hear them.

James felt bruised, left barely standing from Liz's words and Sirius' clouded fate. But even in his emotionally battered state, he did not miss the woman's musings. "What do you mean he was thrown out?"

The woman eyed him, her gun gripped tight in her hand. "I mean I had him and his lackeys escorted out. I don't condone useless fighting in my establishment."

"Your-" Remus bit his tongue to cut off his question. He glanced down at the pub-master who had not moved since James had released him. "Your establishment?" He repeated, not believing it.

"Yes, _my_ establishment." The woman replied, obviously affronted. "This is my building, my drinks, my girls, my tables, my slobbery barkeeper." She nodded toward the unconscious man.

In another time James might have had something clever in response in light of the revelation that the pub was not run by the worm of a man he had recently beaten, but rather the older woman who was more than capable of threatening to shoot him. But that morning, any cleverness died halfway up his throat.

"How do you know Lestrange didn't sneak back and steal Dora?" The question tasted bitter on James' lips.

"Because I watched the man who took her away, and it was not Count Lestrange." The woman snapped at him.

James' eyes grew suddenly bright at the title. Any doubt of her memory concerning Lestrange evaporated from his mind the moment she affirmed Lestrange's nobility.

"I'd seen him for years...years before anyone glanced toward Dora in any lustful way." She gave Remus a pointed look that made him feel like a child who had been caught playing with a forbidden toy.

"He brought her here, made me swear to watch over her, and then left. Every few months he would come back to check on her." The woman continued without waiting for them to raise a question. "To make sure she was being taken care of."

"I wouldn't call being transformed into a wench 'taken care of'." Remus recovered his voice to state, though the knowledge that Dora had been brought here and visited by some man made him uneasy. More so because, no matter how hard he tried, he could not remember Dora ever telling him about it.

The woman looked at him and let out a snort. "No...but I don't see you complaining of her company in that fashion."

The resulting blush that covered Remus' face was part anger and part embarrassment. The woman twisted her gaze back to James, whose face had gradually calmed in the last few moments. Though his eyes remained dangerous, the rest of his face had relaxed and lost most of its flushed anger.

"An hour or so after we threw Lestrange out he appeared, out of nowhere. Took her that night. I haven't seen either of them since." The woman finished sharply.

James watched her from under his bangs. He doubted that was all the details of her story. Her eyes, while narrowed in his direction, were much deeper than they first appeared, filled with swirling layers of regret, anger, and a clear level of fear, but not of him. James frowned and the woman turned her gaze back to Remus before James could fully understand the oddly familiar pain in her eyes.

Remus swallowed hard, the ache in his chest almost unbearable. The burning of betrayal seemed to poison his veins, cooling his blood. He tried to shake the feeling but it seeped deeper, infecting his bones and muscle, creeping toward his heart. Remus shook his head roughly. No, he couldn't believe that. If Dora had kept something from him there had to be a reason. Perhaps she had been threatened, or perhaps it was something else. Some dark piece of her past that she either hadn't been ready to face or was unwilling to force him to be a part of.

But what if, Remus wondered, his mind hazy with doubt and pain, what if she had known. Had known that this man, whoever he was, was coming back to take her away. What if she had known and wanted to leave. What if, like Sirius had suggested once, she didn't want him at all. That this whole rescue attempt was a lie....

James saw Remus' inner turmoil in the painful grimace that had emerged on the second-mate's face. The captain took a deep breath. "This man...how did he know Dora?"

The woman tilted her head slightly. "Neither she nor he ever said. And I never asked." She was quiet for a moment and then she spoke again, so softly that James and Remus almost missed it. "I should have."

"You seem as though you truly liked her." Remus commented, a tinge of resentment in his words.

The woman looked at him for a long moment. "I did." She admitted

"Then why did you let her go?" Remus demanded, arms shaking as his blood pounded. "Why did you let him take her?"

James flinched at the familiarity of the accusations. He dropped his head and stared at the body of the pub-master, still slumped against the side the of the bar. His cheek was already beginning to swell and turn purple.

"I had no choice." The woman defended. Remus turned away from her, his hand braced on the side of the bar. The woman waited for the second-mate to look to her again, but Remus refused to turn back.

She looked then toward James, whose hot anger and guilt had fallen away into numbness. James looked up from where he had been studying the barkeeper. Hazel eyes noticed the gun now held loosely at her side.

"The man who brought Dora here," James began slowly, choosing each word with care as he heard rustling on the floor above him. "Do you know his name?"

The woman gave a short laugh. It was a hollow sound, dry and humorless. "All of England knows his name. Every merchant ship feared his name. Aye, I know his name, and you should too. His name," The woman lifted her chin, eyes scalding the young, tired face before her. "was Tom Riddle."

* * *

Blackness dimmed to gray light as Sirius winced into consciousness. His cheek, pressed against the floor, was cold. When Sirius tried to move his head, he felt hot pain run through his already throbbing skull. He flinched, pressing his forehead into the floor while trying to bite back a moan.

He made a mental note to avoid baiting Lestrange in the future. It did not appear to be in his best interest, no matter how fleeting an enjoyment it might provide.

Sirius rolled slightly so he laid on his side. He lay still for a moment, waiting while his vision cleared. He then curled his knees beneath him, forcing himself upright. His vision blurred and for a moment Sirius feared that unconsciousness was about to claim him again. But the distortion around his gaze solidified and Sirius saw Dora sitting near him.

He froze, muscles growing taunt. She was close, so close that he could make out the wrinkles in her skirt. Her hands were tights fists resting in her lap and her face was turned toward another wall, eyes focused on a memory far away. As he stared at her, Dora's eyes darted once toward him, just long enough so that he was certain she knew he was awake.

Sirius did not move, or even breathe, as he watched her. He was half afraid she would start yelling at him for his foolishness, but he was more afraid that she would leave him. The silence stretched between the two, Sirius balanced on his knees and Dora sitting close by.

"It's my fault," Dora's whisper finally floated along the shadows. Sirius started at the unexpected words, but his eyes did not leave her face.

"The watch me. Wherever they go, they watch me. I knew that." Dora explained slowly, as if this small detail was the most important thing for him to understand.

Sirius continued to watch her. Dora's eyes remained unfocused and silence fell over them a second time. Sirius thought that was all she would say, but after several moments Dora spoke again in a soft, hoarse voice.

"They saw me talk to you." Dora lifted her gaze, her blue eyes blazed with focused intensity. "They heard me warn you."

"I knew better than that." She dropped her eyes away, staring at her hands. Her hands clenched, nails digging into her palms.

Sirius swallowed and dropped his head. It made sense now why Dora had kept him at such a distance when she'd first come into the room. She believed she had condemned him with her warning. That instead of saving him, she had tied him up and brought him to this ship herself. And yet...she had risked it anyway. Knowing the danger of talking to someone who had not been a member of the coven, Dora had still warned him.

Sirius lifted his head to look at Dora again. "Then why did you warn me?" Sirius asked slowly.

Dora was silent for a long moment. When she lifted her eyes to meet his, Sirius saw, for the first time since she had entered the room, a softness creep around the edges of the fire burning in each of her eyes.

"I knew it was you Sirius." She told him. "I heard your voice...I saw your face and I knew it was you. And I knew you were in danger there. I had to say...something." Her voice wavered with uncertainty, almost regret for her actions.

His heart swelled with the hope that her words had fanned, but it was still a tentative hope in the wake of their situation. Sirius wanted to assure her that this wasn't her fault, if the blame had to fall on someone within the room, Sirius knew it would have been himself. He had not watched his back carefully enough, he had been sloppy and angry, and he had let himself walk into a trap without thinking. But though the words formed on his lips, Sirius didn't respond.

Instead, Sirius let his legs sprawl out in front of him, leaning his back against the wall. His head swam painfully, and he closed his eyes for a moment to relieve the pressure. Dora did not reach out a hand to help him, but he could feel her gaze resting heavily upon him. Sirius swallowed and opened his eyes, to find himself staring at the wig that had fallen in the middle of the room.

"A wig?" He asked distractedly, almost grateful for an excuse not to dwell on the guilt of Dora or himself.

Dora didn't reply.

"Just...a wig." Sirius muttered. "Wouldn't you need to do more than change your hair a bit to fool someone?" He tried to make it sound lighthearted, teasing even. But the words fell flatter than Dora's response.

"It fooled you." Dora reminded him, but her voice lacked any trace of the earlier anger. Now it only held exhaustion.

"It shouldn't have." Sirius answered softly. Not if I had really been looking...not if I'd been looking like Remus would have looked, he guiltily added.

And right there was the problem. Seeing her face so close, Sirius did not understand how simply changing her hair had made her invisible to his eye. Because I wasn't really looking, he scolded himself. I looked for her golden hair, for her to seek me out and do something she would have done six years ago. Remus would have looked into her eyes and known, despite her voice or her hair, he would have known I twas her.

Yet, there was something different about her. Sirius' eyes caught the lines near her lips that creased the skin. He could see unfamiliar calluses on her fingers and the slight bags under her eyes, accepted by the wavering lantern light. When she had spoken earlier it had been cool, calculated. She had faced him without wobbling legs to send her tripping over her own feet. She had stood firm and straight, but almost with a broken back. She was Dora...and at the same time she was not the Dora that Remus had lost in the pub long ago.

"You're older." He murmured, surprising himself with the words.

The former wench's blue eyes drank in every line of his face, roving over his cheeks, lips, and nose until she met his eyes.

"So are you."

Sirius stared at her, then turned his face away to stare at the shadows creeping along the floorboards of their prison.

-------------------

"Tom Riddle?" Lily repeated, looking from James to Remus, as though the second mate would contradict the captain's statement. "Captain Tom Riddle?"

James was pacing the dining room. He came to an abrupt stop near the kitchen door and leaned a fist against the wall, frowning at the floor. James nodded sharply to affirm her words while he dug his knuckles in to the wood of the wall.

Sitting on one of the empty tables, Remus remained silent. His foot teetered on the edge of one chair, rocking it back on two legs, then returning it to four with a repetitive _thunk_. His mouth was twisted in a thoughtful grimace.

"Riddle knew Dora...how...why?" Lily asked as James shoved himself from the wall and resumed his pacing. When he didn't answer, Lily looked toward Remus, who failed to make any reply.

James' quick steps carried him all the way to the opposite end of the room, where he pivoted and began to retrace his steps. Lily watched him through concerned eyes, aware of how he never once met anyone's gaze, least of all Liz's, who sat silently in a chair near Lily.

James' mind was racing, picking through every map, book, conversation, or relation that he had every encountered. Looking for some clue to where Sirius could have been taken, but there was nothing. A few breadcrumbs had been dropped in Dora's direction, and James could only pray that the former wench and his first mate were together, but his heart refused to give him that guarantee. All that the new information provided him were more questions.

"Riddle brought Dora to a pub, ensured she was well taken care of, and then took her away." Lily recounted, eyes still following James across the room. "That doesn't sound like the Tom Riddle of the stories, nor the man that tried to kill you."

"It's not." James grunted. He stopped near one of the tables on the opposite side of the room, and without turning to face Lily he continued, "Tom Riddle was a monster. He had no reason to keep a young girl alive." James did not see Remus' face pale at the comment, instead he turned sharply and walked back across the room.

Remus' fingers tore unconsciously at the edges of the table. Riddle's involvement changed everything because James was right: Riddle had nothing to gain for keeping Dora alive, for keeping Dora at all. Yet the former pirate king _had_ left Dora alive, the necklace weighing down his pocket confirmed it. While this might have been a comfort, all Remus felt was a consuming dread, blossoming from the fact that Dora had never before mentioned Riddle or her situation to him. Splinters pricked the pads of his fingers, but Remus ignored it, focusing instead on the uncertainty in his chest.

James growled under his breath, turning swiftly and weaving through more tables as he continued to mutter and pace. The hour was growing later and later, and they were still no closer to finding Sirius than they had been before.

James kicked the leg of a nearby table with enough force to send the table skidding a few inches on the floor. The coven had Sirius – they had him and James didn't know how to go about finding them. Every map or book he had seemed useless. If he couldn't find Dora with Sirius' help, how was he supposed to now find Sirius?

James stood still in the middle of the room. The coven would know by now that James had followed them to the island and would either be on higher alert or would send someone after him. Previous experience told him to hide, lie low and come up with a new plan of attack, but James had had enough of caution.

Damn caution and hiding, James thought furiously. So far caution had only resulted in Sirius' disappearance and James' own folly. Enough muddling around asking questions or trying to keep his head low. He needed to find Sirius soon or...James pressed his palms to his eyes, seeing blossoming white spots. No, he couldn't think about the consequences if he didn't find Sirius in time. He would find Sirius. And then he'd kill the bastard who took him.

"Riddle kept Dora alive." Lily's voice drew James from his inner thoughts. He could sense her eyes on his back. He could almost feel how much effort it took for her to remain at the table near Liz instead of at his side. James appreciated it, albeit he wouldn't have turned out of her embrace had she offered it. "It must mean something."

The logs in the fire popped as James finally turned to face Lily. "It means that she was lucky." Or unlucky, James decided, depending on how you looked at it.

"Without Riddle...would she have been as important to the coven?" Lily dared to ask.

James shrugged a shoulder, his mind was not on the former wench. Remus was watching his captain's reaction and the second mate quickly stood.

"She's alive." Remus informed them, causing both Lily and James to stare at him. "I know she's alive. She must be important to them." He finished lamely.

Remus met James' eyes with a sliver of daring, daring the captain to say differently. But James didn't. Instead, he turned away from Remus, waiting while his suddenly quick breath returned to normal. The captain shook his head sharply. It didn't matter. It didn't matter why Riddle had taken Dora, just that he had. All that mattered was how they would find the coven and save Sirius and Dora.

"We have to find where the coven keeps it's headquarters. It was obviously not Looe Island...they never would have taken Sirius and left if that was their true base of operation. If we find where they hide out permanently, we'll find Sirius and Dora." James finished, digging for the seed of hope that was buried deep under his breast.

Out of the corner of her eye Lily saw Liz's head suddenly lift. A shallow light began to form behind the woman's eyes, eyes that were now fixed on the captain who had taken to running his hands through his hair again.

Remus didn't speak but he remained on his feet, waiting for James to give the order to leave. There was a burning in his chest that refused to let him sink back onto the table or to clutch at the necklace in his pocket. He could feel the tendrils of guilt still present in his stomach, but the blistering feeling was something much deeper and much more powerful. He shifted his body, preparing to follow James, who had moved toward the table where he had thrown his sword upon reentering the Inn.

"We have to leave before nightfall hits." James began. Lily followed Remus' lead and rose to her feet, prepared to carry out whatever task James asked of her. Though she could see a shadow still present in his eyes, he seemed to be gaining more control of himself and returning to the captain that had the ability to lead _The Phoenix_ to wherever Sirius and Dora were.

"Sirius has already been missing for three days," James spoke with effort. "We need to find the-"

"I'm coming with you."

James' hand froze as it gripped his weapon. The words echoed loudly in his head, though the entire room had fallen silent. James straightened and turned to face the woman who had spoken. Remus was staring in the same direction, his eyes wide. Lily had shifted to study Liz with a shocked expression.

James had not spoken to Liz since he and Remus had returned. In fact he had not even looked at her. Now he did look at her. Her hair had fallen out of its tie and it now hung limply around her shoulders. Her face was still tear-streaked and blotchy red. But her eyes were hard and her lips tight with determination as she stood before him.

"Excuse me?" James asked, his voice steady.

"I'm coming with you." Liz repeated.

James' face drained of its remaining color. His right hand fisted as he fought to control the emotion rising in his chest. "No, you are not."

Liz's eyebrows rose at the steel in James' voice, but dropped into a determined frown almost instantly. She moved away from the chair and table and toward James, stopping midway through the room.

"Yes, I am." She repeated.

James almost growled. The sound was in his throat, his teeth were clenched, and he practically snarled through his lips at her. This woman had yelled at him only hours before, had accused him of not knowing.....James brought himself up sharp.

"You are not coming with us." James spoke around gritted teeth, enunciating each word.

Liz's face paled at the snarl in James' declaration. Her hands tightened into shaking fists at her side. "And why not?" She demanded, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Because it is too dangerous." James informed her.

Liz swallowed hard. "I'll face the danger." She said, though her declaration sounded hollow even to her own ears.

"Like hell you will." James snapped at her, dropping his sword loudly on the table as he stalked toward her. Towering over her, he glared into her determined face. "You are absolutely not coming with us."

Liz felt panic rise in her chest, she reached out with tentative fingers, hoping to appeal to him. James jerked his wrist away from her. "I need to find him, James." Liz begged, her voice cracking. "I need to find Sirius..."

"I will not be responsible for the death of a woman that my best friend cares about." James ignored her "I _refuse_!"

Liz's face crumbled and James backed away from her, only to find his arm caught by Lily's hard grip.

"Come with me." Her murmur was for his ears only. Lily moved around him, guiding James away from the upset Liz and the stunned Remus. She pulled him through the door and into the dimply lit kitchen. Only then did she release his arm.

James pulled away from her, retreating to the other side of the room. Lily remained just inside the door, arms crossed across her chest and chin lifted as she watched James' back.

James' teeth ground together as he forced himself to turn and face her. "She's not coming, Lily." He said before she could speak. "I've failed Sirius once...I won't do it again."

"You have not failed Sirius." Lily interrupted with heat. She followed him across the room.

"I let him walk into a trap!" James protested ,moving back a step until his back hit the wall. Lily reached him and placed a calming hand against his chest. "I sent him into danger and I wasn't there to save him...I should have been with him. I should have watched his back!"

He sidestepped around her and moved toward the table.

Lily turned with him. "And what could you have done, James? If you had gone with him, or even gone in his place, you could be the one taken."

"Better me than him." James bit out.

"Stop it." Lily ordered, following him as he circled the table. "There is nothing you could have done. You did not send Sirius intentionally into a trap and I know you will do everything within your power to find him again."

James turned away and didn't respond. Lily waited on the other side of the table, then she took a deep breath. "You have to let Liz come, James."

"No." James answered sharply, refusing to look at her.

"James - "

"She's never even been on the sea, Lily!" James interrupted, throwing out his hands as if imploring her to understand. "She doesn't know how to defend herself....if she comes with us she'll be hurt. I can't let that happen."

"I'll train her, just as you trained me." Lily offered. The abrupt statement made James' heart pause mid-beat. "I'll train her to defend herself -"

"No." James whirled face her, glaring across the table at the redhead.

"James, I remember everything you taught me." Lily reminded him.

"No. You're not training her because she's not coming!" James turned away, stepping toward the door. Lily moved quickly around the table and grabbed his elbow, pulling him to face her.

"You told me once before that if I had been in Dora's position, if I had been taken from you, that you would _kill_ anyone who got in the way of finding me again." Lily told him, her fingers tightening on his arm, forcing James to look at her "You told me that you would have stopped at nothing. How is this any different?"

"It just is." James pulled away from her. He didn't retreat into the dining room, but rather moved back toward the table. "Liz...Liz isn't me, she isn't Remus either."

"It isn't different. She _loves_ him, James!" Lily hissed pleadingly at him.

James turned and stared at her for a long moment. The silence in the room was palpable. Finally James leaned over, hands braced on the edge of the table, face turned downward. Lily watched him, waited for him to speak. When he didn't, she moved cautiously towards him. She could see him twitch away when she stepped beside him. Lily was so close that James could feel the heat radiating from her body against his shoulder.

He swallowed hard, keeping his eyes focused on the table. Lily reached a hand over and covered one of his with one of her own. Gradually, the fist relaxed and his fingers twisted to curl around hers.

"If it was you." She spoke softly."Do you think anyone could deny me the right to come after you?" James turned his face, his cheek feeling the soft red hair that was so close.

"If it was you," Lily repeated. "I would cross more than an ocean. I would steal a ship, fight anyone who stood in my way, and bribe the entire Royal Navy if I had to. I would stop at nothing to find you, save you, protect you..." She whispered honestly.

James was silent, his breath shallow as he felt her warm heartbeat thrumming against his arm.

"Liz needs this chance, James. Yes, it is dangerous." Lily agreed softly, studying their intertwined hands. "Yes, she could get hurt...but we are all toying with such danger." She reminded him.

"She loves Sirius, and she deserves the chance to search for him, just as Remus has searched for Dora." Lily's hand tightened around James'. "Just as I would search for you..."

James felt his heart tear under her words, painful and healing at the same time. Flashes of Sirius and guilt were still present, but the intensity of Lily's confidence overpowered them. James let out a harsh breath, his grip tightening around her hand in a nonverbal encouragement.

Lily understood James' silent agreement. Keeping her hand around his, she moved away from him toward the door. But James' grip tightened suddenly and pulled her back. With a quick hand around her hips, he lifted her onto the table and then dragged her lips to his own.

James' pulled Lily flush against his chest, his fingers lightly tracing Lily's spine as he kissed her. He felt her heartbeat through his shirt and deepened the kiss. Sitting on the tabletop, Lily's head was still lower than James and her arms had to stretch upward to wrap around James' neck, while her hands tangled in his hair. If her logical side said anything about how important it was to go back into the other room, Lily could not hear it over the pulsing of her own heart. It wasn't until she thought her lungs would burst that Lily even contemplated pulling away from him. But it was James, with a soft moan who pulled away first, breathing heavily. He did not pull too far away however, leaving his forehead resting against her head. Noses brushed and their combined breath mingled between them.

Silence settled upon them like a mantle. And for the moment James pretended that Liz and Remus were not in the next room waiting for them to return, that Sirius was taking a nap safely on the ship, that Dora was waiting in the pub, that Riddle was gone, and that it was just him and Lily.

But the mantle could not last forever. James opened his eyes, looking deeply into the green eyes watching him. "I cannot let anything happen to her...I've lost Sirius, I cannot lose the woman he cares for." He told Lily.

"If she doesn't learn...if she's not ready...I'll drop her in a rowboat and let her find her way home." James threatened. "If she disobeys any order..."

He started to say more but Lily pressed a finger across his lips, stopping him. James waited for her to say something, but Lily instead ran the gentle finger across his jaw, coaxing his lips to return to hers. The second kiss was softer, meant as a soft reassurance.

When they pulled apart Lily didn't speak, but waited while James closed his eyes for a brief moment. When he opened them again, they were different. Instead of the thrashing emotions that had occupied his hazel orbs, now they reflected a calm night sea.

"I understand." Lily told him, resting her hand against his cheek. James leaned into the calming touch for a long moment, before looking at her. Neither spoke, but remained as they were until Lily finally dropped her arm and took one of James' hands in her own.

"We have to go back." She told him softly. His eyes glanced quickly toward the door, then back to her.

A resigned look entered his eyes and he nodded once. With sure hands, he helped her off the table and then linked his fingers with his own, reassuring him of her presence. Then James allowed Lily to guide him from the shadowing sanctuary of the kitchen into the next room.

* * *

The lantern was barely a flickering wick, though Sirius' eyes had adjusted well to the shadowed darkness, enough so that he could see Dora's face and still make out the door across the room.

Sirius twisted his raw wrists under the rope and bit back a wounded yelp. He'd thought about asking her to untie him, but decided that it probably wasn't an option. If anyone came in, it would be difficult to explain why she had set him free. Also, if his hands were free, Sirius didn't know if he'd be able to restrain himself from attacking the first person who came through the door.

Dora hadn't moved away from him like before. She had remained fairly close, her shoulder flushed with his own, her back pressed against the same wall. She kept her silence, studying the door with muscles coiled as though she expected something to happen at any moment, though since Lestrange's visit no one had come through the door again.

"Are you waiting for someone?" He finally asked, unable to stand the lingering silence.

Dora didn't answer him, though her eyes fixed on the locked door as much as confirmed his suspicion as a worded answer. Sirius waited, hoping that she would give him some verbal reply, but it was a vain hope. With a frustrated sigh, Sirius dropped his head backwards against the wall.

"Brilliant." He muttered to himself, enjoying the way even his whisper managed to echo in the obnoxious silence of the room. "I've been clubbed over the head _twice_, been re-introduced to my friend's charming lost love, shall have my hands completely mutilated by the time the night is done, and to further the torture – silence. Remind me to volunteer again next time James decides we need to sneak about." Sirius grumbled. The words came out meaningless, however, lacking any anger as well as any serious irritation.

There was a quick catching of air beside him and Sirius tilted his head, barely catching the brief twist of lips that revealed Dora's short moment of mirth. She rearranged her features so quickly that it left Sirius wondering if he had been mistaken.

Sirius glanced toward the locked door, then back to Dora. "What are you waiting for?" He repeated slowly.

Dora remained silent and Sirius wrinkled his nose at her. "You were never gifted at the art of silence." He pointed out to her with a slight huff of irritation.

"It is something I've learned over the years." Dora finally answered him, tilted her head slightly and dropping her eyes. "Silence is golden."

"Silence is annoying, irritating, and pointless." Sirius rebutted without any heat. "Annoying when you need to hear someone else speak just to know they are there, irritating when the other person refuses to admit they need the noise as well, and pointless when it is only caused by biting tongues not by true desire for silence."

This time Dora turned and looked up into his face, blue eyes searching his face for a long moment before her eyebrow quirked ever so slightly. "What about when the silence comes from contentment? From the love and peace you feel when with someone you love? That comes from safety in their arms? What about that silence?"

Sirius stared at her for a long moment, face unreadable until he let the corner of his lips tilt upward. "That silence is rare and precious." He told her, feeling an unfamiliar ache in his chest, accompanied by a disturbing longing. Sirius looked away abruptly, unsure of where the words or the feelings had come from.

Dora reached tentatively over to touch his shoulder, reassuring herself that he was there. As if the body warmth and his words were not enough to satisfy the fear that she was merely dreaming.

"I miss that silence." She admitted to him.

Sirius dropped his eyes before returning them to her face. Dora rested her hand back to her lap and let her gaze drift back to the door, but without the previous intensity.

"They've never taken a prisoner before." She spoke again, her lips barely moving. "Whenever they've...needed something from someone, they always do it immediately."

"Do." Sirius repeated, studying her face. "As in kill?"

"Kill...torture..."

"Pleasant." Sirius muttered sarcastically, trying not to think on the chill running up his spine at her words.

Dora swallowed. "I don't know what they are planning." She spoke hoarsely, and when she turned to look back up at Sirius it was with an expression of frantic fear. "I have no idea what they are going to do."

The weight of the statement fell hard on Sirius' ears. Dora had seen all that the coven was capable of, six years with the coven had to have revealed the sort of horrors that Sirius had witnessed first and second hand. That Dora didn't know what was going to happen next, after years of seeing prisoners come, be tortured, and be killed for whatever reason benefited the coven, was not just bad, it was dangerous. It meant that Sirius couldn't prepare for what was to come, he was on a crumbling bridge without the knowledge of which boards were rotting and which ones were safe.

He barely managed to twist his lips into a fake smile that forced Dora's eyes to lift above her bangs. "A good thing I am partial to spontaneity." The words sounded pathetic even to his own ears.

Dora's eyebrow lifted higher, if possible, and her mouth parted in astonishment. "Sirius, this is not something to joke about. They think you know something, and they'll do whatever they can to get it."

"I know."

"No, you don't know. Sirius, when I told you they were going to kill you I meant it. They will do anything - "

"Dora." Sirius cut her off sharply. He held her eyes with his own hard ones. "I. Know." He emphasized.

Sirius felt the failure of his words as he watched Dora revert back to the uncomfortable silence of before. Her attention fully focused on the waiting for the unknown the walk through the door while pointedly away from Sirius. The first mate released a sharp exhale.

"Silence has another use." Dora's voice was a surprise. "It keeps us from finding out the truths too painful to hear."

Sirius swallowed, his eyes on the door as well. "Most times we already know the truth." He told her, voice low. "Silence just let's us not admit it."


	19. Woman of Thine Heart

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. With finals and then my computer threatening to blow up (literally it was hissing at me and everything) it was hard to write anything during school. But I have a shiny new computer so writing can commence for the rest of the summer without (hopefully) any delays. I also wanted to wait to post this chapter until the next one was in the final stages (which you all will appreciate I guarantee). So, I will do my best to post the next chapter next Saturday after I have read through it a few more times and done some edits, hopefully you will all look forward to that. Without further ado, on with the chapter...and please review afterwords! :) :) :)**

**P.S. Fanfiction is being irritating and not allowing me to put scene breaks so if something suddenly seems to randomly jump to the next scene without a break, that would be why...  
**

**Disclaimer: If it is related to Wind and Waves it is mine, anything that is related to Harry Potter is not.  
**

Chapter 18: Woman of Thine Heart

Lily did not knock as she walked through the doorway into James' cabin, gently pushing the half opened door from her path. The room appeared empty but her ears picked up the rustling of cloth and knew that James was hidden behind the partition. Lily took her time walking through the cabin to the desk which rather than being piled with maps had been mostly cleared off and replaced by an array of swords and daggers. Lily stroked the hilt of a familiar rapier, her fingers curling around the hilt and lifting it into the air. She executed several practice strokes before James emerged from behind the partition, buttoning up a clean shirt.

His eyes softened slightly at the sight of her with the weapon. A smile tugged weakly at the corner of his mouth while several teases flitted through his mind. He swallowed them down as he reached behind the desk and pulled out his own sword and scabbard.

"Don't trip over those," he warned as he fastened the belt around his waist. Lily twisted to look at the two burlap bags of shipping logs that James and Remus had stolen shortly before their rapid departure from port.

"There are more dangerous items lying on the floor," Lily assured him with a glance toward a broken compass and a rusted spyglass that lay nearby. James followed her gaze and kicked the spyglass behind his desk with the heel of his boot. He took one of the rolled up maps lying nearby to take with him from the room. Tapping on the parchment with nervous fingers he stepped around the desk and faced Lily.

His eyes dropped to survey the weapons he had laid out for her and Liz. James had taken care to keep some of the more creative weapons hidden away, laying only out several cutlasses, rapiers, and daggers. Most were his, the others he thought of as Lily's though she only used them during practice. Her own sword was fastened to her waist with her narrow scabbard and belt. James reached forward and rested his fingers on the top of the hilt of her sword in favor of studying the curve of her sword rather than the curve of her mouth.

"Are you sure about this…" he trailed off.

Lily tilted her head until her eyes caught James'. "It's too late to change your mind."

James studied her for a moment. "I could still drop her in a row boat. We're not that far from shore."

His tone was bland and for a moment Lily could not be sure whether he was joking. Lily reached for his arm, wrapping her fingers around his elbow in reassurance. "James, trust me," she consoled.

James opened his mouth to respond but the sound of a cleared throat caused both the redhead and the captain to turn toward the door. Liz stood in breeches and a pale shirt, looking uncomfortable both in her attire and her timing. James eyed her for a long moment then looked back at Lily.

"It's not you I'm worried about," he muttered so softly Lily almost missed it. Before Lily could respond James walked past Liz and out the door, closing it at his heels.

Liz released a tight breath and lifted her eyes to look at Lily. Lily's sword was fastened to one hip, her shirt rolled up to her elbows and her fiery hair pulled back in a low hanging pony tail. Her skin seemed to glow in the sun trickling through the window, her hair like tongues of fire furled along her shoulders. Sweeping back her own hair with one hand, Liz tied a thong of leather around her locks. She walked across the room and stopped just in front of Lily with a raised chin. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled but the innkeeper squared her shoulders and met Lily's eyes.

"I'm ready," Liz said.

Lily did not move. She hadn't needed to hear James voice his doubts to know that her training Liz made him uncomfortable. It may have partly stemmed from the misguided belief that she wasn't ready to train anyone, but Lily knew James' worry rested more on Liz's shoulders than Lily's. Though he tried to shield her, protect her, and even made out that she wasn't as strong a fighter as she actually was, James was confident in Lily's ability to defend herself against most opponents, after all he was the one that had trained her. She had stood her ground against Riddle and survived, had kept her head and her life in the skirmish with Crouch, and proved herself more than capable in a spar with Remus, Sirius, or James.

Despite her bravado, the squared shoulders and lifted chin, Lily could see the unease behind Liz's eyes. Liz wanted to be here, but it was out of guilt. Lily honestly believed that Liz loved Sirius, though the older woman had never said so, but the emotions warring in Liz's eyes were not love, but guilt, regret, and more than a healthy dose of fear. It was the power of those emotions that had frightened James the most. If she was to be honest, it frightened Lily too.

When Lily had first began to train with James there had been little pressure. True, James had made perfectly clear in their first lesson the importance of what he was teaching her, but Lily had never honestly believed she would be forced to fight for her life. With Liz there was no question. There would be a battle and Liz would have to fight and survive on her own. It fell upon Lily's shoulders to teach her how.

Lily took a slow breath. "James explained the terms for you to accompany us." It wasn't a question.

Liz felt her face warm slightly at the commanding tone. "I learn how to fight."

"No." Lily's voice was sharp, and at the same time imploring Liz to understand. "No, the agreement is that you learn to _defend_ yourself."

"There's no difference," Liz pointed out.

"There _is_ a difference," Lily interrupted. "The difference is you're learning to defend your own life, not kill someone else. If you can defend yourself well enough that your opponent never injures you then you have succeeded in all you have to."

"And what am I supposed to do after I defend myself for a few hours?" Liz demanded hotly, losing her already fraying temper. A few stay hairs tumbled from her loose ponytail and fell upon her flushed cheeks. Her nails dug into her palms as her fisted hands shook. "How am I supposed to save Sirius if I can't _fight_ someone?"

"You can't save Sirius if you're dead," Lily replied. Liz's lips pressed tightly together, wincing as though she had been slapped. "Learning to defend yourself, to stay alive, is the most important lesson to master. Attacking or killing can only be done if you're alive long enough."

Liz's tongue felt swollen and it was all she could do to force a bitter swallow down her throat. Her hands were limp at her sides, palms red and engraved by the tips of her nails. Lily rested a hand on the hilt of her sword, concentrating on the coolness of the metal to soak through her heated skin and calm her rapid heartbeat. When the thunder under her breast had calmed and blood had faded from Liz's cheeks, Lily reached behind her to the desk. She picked up a cutlass and held it, handle out, to Liz. Liz lifted her heavy arm and wrapped her fingers around the hilt. She was forced to adjust her grip as Lily released the blade and the unfamiliar weight dropped into her palm.

"You'll get used to it," Lily reassured her, a fond smile bloomed across her lips at the words. She reached forward and adjusted Liz's grip on the sword until Lily was certain the sword would not slip from between Liz's fingers. Lily's hand ghosted over Liz's fingers and felt how they trembled around the metal hilt before retracting her hands.

"The parry is the most important movement." Stepping back, Lily took out her own sword, gripping it tightly in her right hand. "Lift your elbow and angle your sword across your body. The flat part of the blade should be towards me." Lily instructed, watching Liz's arm twist to do as she commanded. With her free hand, Lily lifted Liz's elbow another few inches.

"You can angle it across your chest horizontally or on either side of your body, vertically." Lily moved Liz's elbow, mimicking each verbal instruction. When the redhead saw a brief nod of Liz's head, she released the elbow. Liz's elbow dropped a few inches and Lily bit back a heavy sigh as she adjusted the innkeeper's arm a third time. This time it stayed balanced.

"An opponent will bring his sword either down upon you, or sideways in a cutting motion," Lily informed her. She gave a word of warning, remembering how she had jumped away like a spooked rabbit when James had first come toward her with a sword. She brought her sword first to Liz's left, then right, then above her. Each motion was slow and deliberate, but even under the careful pressure Lily could feel the parried sword shaking under the weight of her own blade.

Lily repeated the motions until her own arm felt sore. Each clang echoed in the silent room and with each swing of the sword Lily put a little more weight behind her blade and tried to move a little bit faster. Liz stumbled back several times, her sword wavering under Lily's strike. Her arm shook, dropped several inches, then tilted upward at an odd angle that caused the arm to almost drop completely under Lily's next strike.

Lily could see defeat rising in the flushed cheeks of the other woman. A sudden rush of agitation flooded her own cheeks with red and Lily's sword came down slightly harder than she intended. Liz stumbled back, but brought the sword up as Lily repeated the cutting motion toward her side. Even as she recovered Lily could see a dark look threatening Liz's eyes. It was the same look that Remus had possessed for weeks. Just before her arm began to drop again the look enveloped Liz's gaze completely, fogging out any determination or fire from earlier.

Without thinking, Lily moved with the same speed that she normally did when training with James. Her sword carried her full strength and when her blade met Liz's the weak grip failed and the sword fell on the floor between them. Without waiting for the word of protest, Lily's free arm gripped Liz's elbow and brought her sharply forward until her sword rested on Liz's shoulder, dangerously close to the innkeeper's throat.

"This is not a game." Lily spoke softly, each word clear. Liz's face had lost all color, but Lily's grip on her arm did not lessen nor did the sword drop from her neck. Liz could feel Lily's nails carving into her skin and the bruises blossoming from under the fingers. The innkeeper fought the urge to pull away, feeling the cool metal of the blade against her skin.

"This is not a whim or merely a means to barter passage on this ship," Lily continued. "This will save your life. You have to learn to move, think, act – all in a moment.

"You have to want to live," Lily recalled the words that James had spoken to her the first day of their training together. "You have to want to stay alive. You cannot stand there feeling guilty or defeated. You cannot second guess yourself or doubt yourself, not if you want to live. Do you understand?"

Liz felt the coolness of the blade against her skin, a coolness that seemed to seep through the rest of her limbs, icing her blood and relaxing her throbbing heart. The pained look from moments before faded from her eyes, replaced by a strong determination that Lily recognized. Liz nodded once, her mouth dry, and Lily released her arm, taking several steps backward.

Liz bent and picked up the sword, her fingers gripping the handle and positioning it in the first parry position. Three feet away Lily watched as the innkeeper straightened with her shoulders back and muscles taunt. The veins jumped in Liz's arm as she waited half crouched, arm up, for Lily to attack. This time when Lily came toward her, Liz's grip tightened and her sword did not waver.

* * *

James fought to urge to slam the cabin door as he stepped onto the main deck. It would have been childish and counterproductive. But a part of James would have welcomed the small show of immaturity. Instead, James took a deep breath, filling his lungs and calming the worry that had taken up permanent residence under his breast. He moved away from the door, keeping the maps clutched too tightly in one hand.

He pulled to a stop after only a few steps when he saw Remus waiting by the mast. The second mate looked out of place, his skin far paler than normal and his arms hanging limply by his sides. He was not looking at any of the crew members who were sitting several feet away, but rather his eyes were focused on James.

James frowned across the small distance between them, but did not speak. He had hardly spoken to Remus since Sirius had disappeared, though Remus had followed him loyally to the bar, to Liz's Inn, and even to the shipping office to steal the shipping logs. Remus had performed every deed that James couldn't and had remained a constant presence at the captain's side. But still James found he could not face him. It was as though the first mate's disappearance had made James aware of everything Sirius had been pointing out was foolish about the mission. Sirius had said it was dangerous, that people would die. He had been the one to tell James that it was not worth the risk, and what had James done? He had guiltily sided with the second mate and had kept Sirius' protests muffled.

And now...now there was no backing out because Sirius was missing too. They had to find Dora, because to find Dora would mean finding Sirius, and finding Sirius meant that everything would be right again.

James could almost feel the accusation toward Remus brewing in his stomach, but it felt bland, pathetic in its own right. It was not strong enough to burst through his lips, to strip down the man in front of him. Because deep down James knew it wasn't Remus' fault anymore than it was his own.

Remus clenched his fists, moving a step closer to James. Only now did James see the pained expression that pinched Remus' brow and twisted his lips downward.

"James…" The words stuck in his throat and died on his tongue. Remus fought with his voice but it failed him. James moved, bumping Remus' shoulder as he passed him.

"I'm sorry." The apology forced themselves from the second mate's mouth, a croak and a plea at the same time. James froze mid-step, but kept his back to Remus. Pain and guilt brewed openly in his eyes when he spoke again.

"Did you hear what I said?" Remus questioned nervously, sweat from the afternoon sun beading on his brow. He turned, watching James' shoulder muscles tighten.

"I heard what you said," James mumbled, back still turned.

Remus licked his cracked lips. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry for this rescue. I'm sorry for hiding away with my memories while you…I'm sorry for Sirius." His voice faltered and Remus took a deep breath. "If I had been here, if I had been with you and him on deck, this wouldn't have happened. If I had been at your side through this…we wouldn't have split up and we would still have Sirius."

James turned slowly back to face Remus. His face was unreadable, the map crumpled in his clenched fist. "Why are you telling me this?" The question was a soft breath.

"Because..." Remus swallowed hard. "Because I'm here now. I'm on deck...now."

The implication slammed into James' stomach like a punch, but he gave no appearance of the impact of Remus' words, keeping his face unchanged. Moments stretched between the two immobile men facing one another until finally James tossed the old map to a nearby crew member, who barely caught it. Without speaking, James pulled his sword from the scabbard and held it at the ready.

Remus stared at the blade, his mouth dry as he looked from the sword back to James' face. His lips parted as though he was about to speak, but he saw the hard set of James' mouth and Remus reached for his sword instead.

The metal had barely cleared the scabbard when James came for him. The blades clanged and it took all of Remus' strength to keep his sword locked with James'. A simultaneous grunt and they split apart, circling one another so close that Remus could have reached out and tripped James. Remus sidestepped and James mimicked him but did not attack. Taking a breath, Remus forced his unwilling muscles to feign left and dove for James' right side, only to be met by hard steel.

James twisted his arm free, sending Remus sideways. Remus parried right then left, locking blades and twisting to force James' blade toward the ground. James moved with his sword arm and swung his fist to clip Remus' jaw, causing the second mate to fall backwards.

Remus regained his footing before he tumbled onto the deck. He straightened out of his fighting crouch and stared at James, who stood tensed and ready with silent gasps that lifted and dropped his shoulders. Remus reached gingerly toward his jaw and fingered the beginnings of a bruise. James met his gaze across the silent deck. Remus couldn't identify the small murmur of feeling under his breastbone, but he knew it wasn't anger. It felt warm, like the air after lightning had struck nearby. The warmth awakened his body and Remus lunged toward James. Just before their swords met, Remus swore he saw the captain's lips twist upward.

None of the crew dared to breath and so the only sound across the deck was the clang of steel. The two fighters sidestepped one another, parried, locked blades, broke apart, and lunged again. Remus attacked James on the right and left, cutting toward his leg and shoulder while James backed up until he was at the railing. Then suddenly it was James who ducked a blow and was attacking Remus, who parried left, right, up and down until they were back in the middle of the deck.

James' sword sliced through the thin material of Remus' shirt, drawing blood on the cuff, but Remus twisted and drew flecks of blood from the back of James' hand. They sidestepped less, parried rarely, but attacked one another again and again. Each time they locked swords they threw their full weight into the blade, trying to force the other off balance. They broke apart only when one managed to land a blow to the other. James' lip split and bled down his chin while Remus' cheek was cut from a blade that had come too close. Both men were soaked with sweat, gasping for air as they lunged again.

Remus knew this time was different the moment his wrist was caught in James' grip, though their swords were still locked. The captain threw his full weight into the motion and shoved Remus off him with both his free hand and his sword. Remus stepped forward but James ducked out of his way, not bothering to use his sword to parry. He was on Remus' flank so quickly that when Remus spun to meet him, he had to throw back an unbalanced foot to keep from falling over.

James' shoulder shoved into his and Remus fell hard against the mast, clipping the side of his head as he did so. Remus threw up his sword in an uncentered parry that could not hold the weight of James' blow. James' sword twisted Remus' arm until the second mate's sword was pointed uselessly downward. Suddenly, Remus' shirt was caught in James' fist, his back slammed up against the mast, and James' sword poised at his throat.

The breath retreated from Remus' body while all the emotion fell in drops of sweat upon the deck. The captain's breath came fast, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Blood flowed freely down the cut from the back of his hand as he kept Remus pinned. Of the two of them, he sported far less bruises and cuts though he was drenched with as much emotion laded sweat as Remus.

Hazel eyes held dim amber ones. Slowly, James nodded his head once. It was barely an inclination of his chin, but his eyes gleamed as he released his grip on Remus' shirt and stepped back. Remus remained where he was, the sword held limply in his grasp. James backed away, then turned and disappeared up the landing steps. Remus waited until James was safely near the map table before slipping down the mast to slump heavily on the deck.

* * *

James struck a match, watching the tiny flame eat away at the thin wooden spindle before lighting one of the hanging lanterns. A quick breath snuffed the match before the flame could singe his fingertips. The lantern's buttery light chased away the shadows in his cabin as James stepped to the edge of his desk. He parted the pile of maps and picked up a dagger that had been forgotten after Lily and Liz's training session. Diverting his thoughts from the earlier session itself, James toyed with the engraved handle, flipping it over his wrist and catching it deftly in his palm.

"I see your reflexes have not been impaired," Lily's voice surprised him so that he almost dropped the knife. James half turned to watch the redhead close the door and cross the cabin floor. Her lips were curved in a repressed smile that could not hide the way her eyes methodically scanned James' features, passing over the suddenly smoothed brow, the intent gaze, and then lingering for a moment on the cut on his lips.

James ran absent-minded fingers over the glinting blade. "Should they be?" he inquired, observing how her gaze flickered to the nest of blankets on his bed that had lain cold for many nights before she turned to study him.

When she didn't answer, James moved away from her, pausing only when the desk lay between them. "The training session…" he let the question hang heavy in the air.

"She survived," Lily replied. James looked sharply at her and Lily pressed her lips together to hold back a sigh. "She was…nervous, doubtful," Lily admitted. She could see the argument forming on James' lips and she rushed on. "But she understands now."

"Understands?" James repeated.

"Understands that she has to set aside her guilt and doubt," Lily said, forcing James' eyebrows to lift, "that she must want to survive if she is going to survive."

James stared at her, hands clenching around the dagger without realizing it. "You told her that," his voice was hoarse.

"You taught me that," she reminded him.

James turned away, leaving Lily to watch his back as he snatched one of the log books from a bag. The remaining books slipped on the inside of the bag but James flipped frantically through the pages, keeping his eyes determinedly on the scribbles across the paper though he did not recognize any of the letters. He could feel Lily's presence across the desk and he flipped through another few pages, toying with the spine of book with shaking fingers.

"You should go to bed, Lily," he suggested without looking up. Lily retracted her hand from where she had been tracing the English border on an open map. James lifted his head and watched her tilt her head, keeping her silence. James continued, "You'll need to rest and regain your strength after training…"

"I'm all right," she interrupted.

James shook his head, dark bangs tickling his forehead. "It's getting late…" he tried again.

Over his shoulder, Lily could see the setting sun dropping into the red-orange hued ocean. Her gaze shifted to James' face bathed in the lantern light. "Are you going to bed?" she asked instead.

James dropped his eyes to the open log as an answer, hands tightening and crinkling the pages under his fingers.

"Then I'll stay," Lily said. James' head came up sharply, brow wrinkled in a frown.

"You don't have to," he mumbled, dropping his head though his eyes flickered upward to peer at her from under the shadow of his hair.

"I want to," Lily cut him off. James closed the log book and Lily moved around the corner of the desk to stand at James' shoulder. He watched her come closer while the corner of his lips twisted in an almost grimace. With a steady hand, Lily reached for the edge of the log book. James' grip tightened on the brown binding, refusing to let go.

"I know without Sirius you are missing your right hand. Without him you are lost at sea…" Lily murmured, keeping her hand resting on the book. James' chest hurt at the soft words, but he kept his eyes on her face. "But I want to help you. I'll be your right hand, your first mate, whatever you need James. Just tell me what to do." James' jaw tightened, the muscles in his arm flexing as he gripped the book even harder. Lily's hand moved to cover his.

James stared down at her, eyes reading every line of her face from the furrow of her concentrated brow, to the lines bordering her lips that parted in anticipation of his answer. His grip lessened and he relinquished the book into her hands. Lily's hand clutched the book against her chest, but she continued to look up at James.

"Look for Riddle's name," James said, head tilted downward to keep eye contact with the redhead. "Or his ship…start with that one." He gestured to the book in her hands. Lily flipped open the cover while James walked around her to pick up another book. Her fingers parted the pages and her green eyes narrowed at the faded dates penciled in.

"It's dated over six years ago."

James didn't affirm her statement as he paced through the middle of the room, the new log book tight in his hands. He waited for the guilt to set in again, for the feeling of emptiness, of loss to consume his body. To remind him that Sirius wasn't there, that it should be Remus, Sirius, and himself going through the log books. But the feelings never came. The ache in his chest seemed to have evaporated from his body in the face of Lily's words. At one time James might have questioned the way his body was being slowly patched back together, the way something seemed to have expanded and blocked out the hole that Sirius' disappearance had left. But now, James only clung to the feeling.

"The day that Dora was taken should be in one of these log books, which means Riddle should be there too." Lily's eyebrows narrowed in thought as she watched him. He could felt her gaze and looked over at her. "I want to find out where was coming from each time he came into port. Dock-master's like to record it in case there's an outbreak of some sort in another port, they know now to let a particular ship in," he explained. "When you find Riddle's name mark the port on the map." James gestured to the open map that lay across the desk.

"What if he lied?" Lily asked, cursing her tongue as she did so.

James' body stilled for a brief moment before turning his back to her. "He wouldn't."

"What if he did?"

"Riddle was a cocky bastard." James turned to face her, cheeks flushed and knuckles white where they clenched around the binding of the log book. "He knew no one would ever dare to come after him, would ever dare to look for him or try to hunt or arrest him. He didn't have to lie because he knew no one would ever look."

"You're looking…" James did not twist his face away from her gaze, but stared silently back at her. She thought she saw his eyes flicker downward, but the hazel orbs held her own gaze so strongly that Lily convinced herself she had been mistaken. "And after we chart the ports?"

"If I can map out where he came from maybe I can trace a pattern," James told her, flipping through the brown edged pages. "If there's a pattern then I'll be able to follow it and find Sirius…and Dora."

Lily almost bit her tongue again, but she forced the question from her lips. The devil's question, the type of question she had often heard Sirius mutter to James when he thought no one was watching, the question that drew James up before he made any rash decision. "What if there is no pattern?"

"There has to be a pattern…" James breathed, staring at the book open between his hands. "My gut tells me there's a pattern…just like it knows that Riddle's name has to be in one of these books. It's there Lily…I just have to find it."

Lily lowered her eyes to the log book and flipped slowly through the pages. The only sound was the crackling of the fire that ate away at the wick of the candle and the shuffling of the pages against one another as James flipped through the other book. Lily's fingers froze at the corner of one page and her pale pink lips curled ever so slightly.

"James…"

The captain looked over at her, face wary of another defeating question or worse. What he saw was Lily holding out the log book toward him, open to the center with pencil scrawled across both pages. He stepped to the edge of the desk and pulled the log book from her hands. His eyes followed the scripted writing until they fell on the last name etched on the page.

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_.

* * *

Liz stepped up from below deck, using a hand to brace herself against the door frame while the ship rocked beneath her feet. The moon hid behind thin clouds, refusing to cast its milky glow across the dark deck of the ship. Instead, the only light was from lit lanterns swinging along the main deck. Liz gingerly walked across the deck. Dim shadows showed her one of the crew at the helm and another two sitting around the mast dealing cards in the lantern light.

Neither one of the card players looked up as she went by, but Liz didn't expect it. The crew did not understand why James had gone into port only to bring back a woman who knew nothing of the sea nor how to combat any pirate they were likely to encounter. It was obvious that some didn't agree with their captain's decision and that others only grudgingly accepted her because they knew she was close to the leaders of their crew. But none of them welcomed a conversation from her. Lily had assured her they would warm up to her, that they were a good group of men that were loyal to James and those he cared for. Liz had chosen not to hold her breath in hope that they would eventually accept her.

The dark-haired woman made her way across the deck, pausing at the side. She gripped the rail, her fingernails digging into the smoothed wood unable to find a grip. She glanced down and saw the dark waves lapping against the hull of the ship like dogs nipping at a hanging carcass just waiting for it to fall.

Liz swallowed hard, feeling her heart throb under her breastbone as the ship moved beneath. Fear gnawed at her throat but Liz bit down on her lip, not allowing the cries to be heard by any other ears. They were out far on the ocean, there was no turning back though part of heart yearned for the flickering fireside where she would curl up on a floor that didn't sway beneath her wobbly feet. Liz shook the thoughts from her head, she could not go back.

Turning her head briefly she noticed that the two crew members had disappeared, leaving her alone on the upper deck. Twisting her head back, her fear and yearnings were drown out by a roar of wind that caught in the sails, puffing the canvas like the breast of a strutting bird. Liz titled her face upward, watching the cloth straining against the riggings, whipping in the song of the sea.

Memory tugged at her heart. Liz remembered Sirius telling her once of such a song. It had been long before Lily, in the early years of the three pirates marauding on their own ship. Liz could remember the feel of his arms wrapped around her shoulders as he sat with her at the window of her room. A faint sea breeze had struggled to make its way up from the beach and had whipped past her hair so fast that it whistled in Liz's ears.

She'd jumped and nearly fallen out of Sirius' grip, but he had held her strong. Then he had told the song initiated by the repeating thump of waves against the hull of a ship, the high pitched wind whistling through the riggings, sending iron clanking against rope and the _pufts_, like exhalations of air, which the canvas sails murmured. It was more intoxicating than any lilting tune on a pub's piano, more soothing than the stroking hand of a mother, and more comforting than the warmest strongest arms, according to Sirius.

Liz hadn't believed him that such a symphony could come from something so dark and dangerous as the sea. But now, as she stood on the deck of a ship, aching with the knowledge that he was absent, Liz lifted her chin to the wind, waiting for the song to soothe, comfort, and intoxicate her as it had him.

The salty wind soaked into her skin. It stroked her hair and nostrils until it filled her lungs. It caressed and comforted just like the heat of a fire, but differently. It rocked her as if in a silent lullaby and Liz closed her eyes, allowing the sea wind to toy with the strands of escaping hair. She felt the waves' steady rhythm through her feet and upward through the rest of her body. Liz released a pent up breath and opened her eyes, staring at the expanse of ocean that surrounded her.

The moon had peaked around the clouds and she could see the dancing waves crested with moonlight. Liz looked down at her hands now relaxed against the wood. She stroked the polished surface once, a dim smile pulling at her thin lips.

"Not as scary at night." The male voice came from behind her.

Liz spun quickly and Remus caught her elbow, barely keeping her upright. Remus waited until she had righted herself then released her arm and stepped away from her.

"Thank you," Liz muttered, tipping her head back to look at him. He returned her look with cautious eyes and merely nodded.

In the moonlight, Liz's eyes caught a dark mark along the side of Remus' neck. Any answer to his statement was forgotten as she reached her hand upward, pausing when she saw a scratch along his cheek. Liz's brow furrowed as she adjusted her gaze to the second mate's eyes.

"What happened to you?"

Remus reached up, gingerly running his fingers along the cut on his cheek. "Sparring." His voice was deeper and wavered less than it had when he had spoken at the inn earlier. Her frown did not abate and Remus released a breath.

"James thrashed me," he explained blandly. While it may not have been completely true, in Remus' eyes he had been beaten emotionally and physically through the course of the spar. There was a reason, Remus considered as he rubbed his sore shoulder, that it had been James who had taught him and Sirius how to fight with blades.

"I didn't think you were supposed to be injured during a simple spar." Liz eyed the dried blood that surrounded the cut on Remus' face.

"It wasn't a _simple_ spar," Remus corrected her. He stepped around Liz to lean his forearms against the rail. Liz opened her mouth to questioning him again, but closed her lips against the curiosity. Remus did not notice as his eyes had focused on something beyond the rolling waves.

Liz turned, but could not relax against the rail as Remus did. Instead, her fingers toyed with the edges of her hair. She waited, half expecting him to speak, hoping for the long flowing words soaked with the wisdom that the young man had always possessed. But the silence stretched on until Liz could bear it no longer.

"Do you agree with James?" She asked abruptly.

Remus did not speak for a long moment, so long that Liz wondered whether he had even heard her question or was simply going to ignore it. A rough breath escaped his lips, causing her to start.

"Yes," Remus admitted.

Liz's face flushed and she stepped back from him, hand clutching at the rail. "Why?" she demanded. "I have a right–"

"What right?" Remus asked her, straightening. The moonlight seemed to increase the shadows along the lines of his cheeks. "What right do you have, Liz?"

"I…" Liz stumbled over her words. Words she wished to say died halfway up her throat, the words that Remus had used to convince James of his necessity to search for Dora, words that James had used in conjunction with Lily, words that she could not use to explain why she had to find Sirius. "I care about him, Remus."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "You care about him," he repeated, his words dripped with scalding sarcasm.

Liz's eyes narrowed. "Do not belittle me, Remus. Sirius and I are not as simple as you think. There is more to it than you could possibly–"

"You let him go. Every time we left port you just stood there and watched him leave to find other girls, other pleasures. You let him leave and then wasted away in the inn until he came back."

"Stop it," Liz ordered, her voice hoarse and shaking. But the second mate ignored her, stepping closer so his breath burned her already flushing cheeks.

"If you cared so much for him, why didn't you go after him?"

"Why didn't you?" Liz yelled. Remus jerked backward, his face drained of color. His frown dropped into an openly wounded expression, his mouth curved downward and his eyebrows lifted into his bangs.

Liz ignored how the hurt rose in his pale eyes in favor of fanning the fury and pain that rose in her own chest. She advanced upon him a step, reaching out to grab a fistful of his shirt. "Why didn't you go after him, Remus?"

Remus' breath came rapidly until Liz's hand fell from his shirt and she turned away from him, bracing her hands on the rail and staring down at her shaking limbs. Remus watched her without speaking then mimicked her motion, keeping his gaze on the flecks of light in the night sky.

"I am now," he murmured. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Liz's face twist to look up at him, tear stains across her cheeks visible in the bright light from the moon. "I am now."

* * *

The throb in his skull was becoming all too familiar a feeling, Sirius realized as he opened his eyes, fighting a wince as the light in the room burned through his swirling thoughts. When he could sense the light from behind his eyelids without the distortion of gray spots, he took a long blink. Then he blinked several more times in rapid succession, trying to make sense of the room he was imprisoned in. The walls were brick rather than the horizontal boards of the hull of a ship and half sprawled on the floor though he was, Sirius could not feel the rocking motion beneath his body. In fact he felt no movement at all. Sirius shifted up to his knees and felt something weigh down his wrists. Glancing down he found a set of irons attached to each arm then disappearing behind his back. Sirius twisted to see the iron links rise and attach to a welded ring on the wall. He gave an experimental tug and watched the ring on the wall lift, then clink heavily back against the bricks.

Sirius twisted his head around and scanned the room. The air felt moist. There was a puddle of mud and water near one wall and the floor was worn down. The lower bricks were stained a dark mud color that led Sirius to believe the room had been flooded more than once before. Sirius lifted his eyes, finding a small barred window that was not even the breadth of his shoulders. Through the grates of the window he could see the dark expanse of sky lingering out of reach.

He closed his eyes, lifting a hand to rub his face with enough force that dots sprang into his vision when he finally opened his eyes and stared at the thick wooden door that was across the room from him. He had been moved from the ship to this prison, of that he was certain, but Sirius could not remember what had happened after his talk with Dora. It seemed like only moments ago but it had clearly been much longer.

Sirius shook his head a second time, bangs falling across his eyes as he did so. He remembered the door opening and Dora moving across the room away from him. Someone had come in but he could not see the face. Sirius ran a hand through his hair with a rumble of irritation that rose from his chest.

A movement nearby caused him to jump and he twisted to look in the corner nearest to him. There he saw a pile of straw that looked slightly damp, a pail, and Dora. She ran a hand through her lower locks, pulling a few stray pieces of straw from her hair, which she let fall from her fingers. She watched the straw drift down to the floor then lifted her eyes to look at him.

Dora's frown deepened and her eyes dropped sideways as though she could not stand to look at his face. Sirius hardly noticed for the relief of her being there that clouded his mind. In their hours together he had promised himself that until Remus and James found them, and they would find them, that he would have to protect Dora. It was the only thing he could do, albeit he was chained and a prisoner to the coven, but the purpose it gave him was stronger than the doubtful thoughts that threatened to break him.

"Dora." The name felt heavy on his lips and a memory pulled at the back of his mind. He had yelled to her before the world had gone black, he had called her name and he had said something else…Sirius blinked again. "Are you hurt?"

Dora stared at him, her lips pursed until they were white strips between her cheeks. She shook her head once and Sirius' eyes drifted over her face, neck and arms looking for evidence of a lie. But he saw no bruise, cut, or blemish to show that she had been grabbed by Lestrange.

Sirius lifted his head, eyes sparkling as he remembered. Lestrange had been the man who had walked into the room, a gun in one hand and two men flanking him on either side. They had come for Sirius who had tried to struggle to his feet. Lestrange had made a scathing comment that was lost in Sirius' present headache. Then Lestrange said something about reaching their destination, that they were being moved. There had been a blindfold that one of the pirates had held and there had been hands, tight callused hands that had gripped his arms to hold him still while the pirate came toward him.

Lestrange had then moved toward Dora, arm outstretched and Sirius had forgotten the caution, forgotten the warning Dora had given him about showing a connection between them, and he had lunged. Pulling free of one grip and surging forward away from the other, pulling, spitting, as Lestrange herded Dora toward the door.

_"Don't touch her."_

And then he had seen Lestrange's gun and then painful blackness.

Sirius shoulders tensed as he stared at Dora. "They moved us from the ship...where are we?"

Dora did not answer him, her eyes lingering on the purple blue welt forming on his forehead. Her silence ignited a fear in Sirius breast that spread to consume every muscle. It leaked from him through rough breaths and the sweat that slid down the back of his neck.

"They didn't touch you," he whispered and Dora simply stared back at him. Her hands twitched in the cloth of her skirt as though she wanted to bolt or speak, but she held her tongue prisoner behind tight lips and did not move.

Sirius felt dizzy as the memories swirled like a dangerous fog behind his eyes. Lestrange had moved toward Dora but even as Sirius had lunged, even as Lestrange had clubbed him across the head, none of the pirates had touched her. Lestrange had herded her toward the door like a caged sheep, had blocked Sirius getting near her, had even beat Sirius into unconsciousness, but never had they grabbed her or pushed her. He had never even _touched_ her.

"They didn't touch you." The whisper burned his lips as he fought to stand up despite the chains around his wrists. They clanged like church bells swung off tempo. His cramped legs failed him and he was forced to lean a shoulder against the wall, still staring at her.

Dora flinched but she also rose to face him. She was much shorter than he was and thinner than both Liz and Lily, but she lifted her chin and glared up at him with the icy determination of both women. The dark thoughts in the back of Dora's mind clawed their way to the surface and Dora almost gasped with the pain they brought. But she kept them bay and held Sirius gaze. She fought against the fog until she realized that Sirius was not going to relent.

"Why didn't they touch you?" Sirius demanded of her. "You're their prisoner, you were kidnapped –"

"I never said I was kidnapped, you only assumed-" But again he cut her off.

"You're not chained, you're not hurt…who are you?" he growled, jerking away from the wall and ignoring the chains chafing his wrists.

Dora stood rigid before him, back straight. Her short blond hair caught around her ears but she did not lift a hand to push them away. She took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for a plunge into an icy pool.

"What are you to them?"

"I am Tom Riddle's sister."


	20. Too Perfect to be a Wench

**A/N: I decided I should go ahead and post this before I mess with it too much more as it has already gone through about 5 total rewrites and a few revisions. I'm a bit worried about this chapter so please let me know what you think, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask them. Please please please review! reviews from you are what motivates me to complete this story even when I'm having writers block, reviews from you guys and the support they showed are one of the only reasons that Wind and Waves made it all the way through the blocks to the end of the story, so please review! And now enjoy the chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: I own the story and any characters you don't recognize from Harry Potter, anything else is JK Rowlings**

Chapter 19: Too Perfect to be a Wench

Cannon fire seemed to explode in Sirius' ears, echoing in his head yet proving not loud enough to block out the words Dora had uttered. His brown eyes were wide and they scoured her face looking for a lie, a smile to prove it was a bad joke. But Dora's frown and the panting breath that had followed her admission left no room for either option. Sirius tried to swallow but choked instead.

"That's impossible. Riddle doesn't have a sister." Sirius would have spat but he lacked the saliva to do so. His words wavered dangerously on the edge of panic and anger.

Dora's eyes flickered to the door as though she worried someone would come bursting in at his proclamation. The nervous glance made anger rise up into his chest and consume the shock that had frozen there. She twisted to look at him again, her brow furrowed. "Sirius, keep your voice down."

"The hell with keeping my voice down," Sirius growled. His anger was running away from him, causing him to vomit words from his chapped lips without thinking. "They didn't touch you, you weren't chained…they didn't even speak to you when they came into the room…Lestrange, he didn't even go near you!" Sirius' breath came in short bursts, hands clenching and unclenching on the floor. Dirt dug under his nails, stabbing pain into his fingers that was dull in comparison to the pain flooding his chest.

"You were kidnapped and treated like a bloody princess in Riddle's coven, is that it? No wonder you didn't want us to find you," he muttered loud enough for it to burn her ears.

Dora dug her nails into her palm to keep from slapping Sirius at the accusation. She took a deep breath, her nostrils flaring. "Sirius, you must listen to me –"

"Listen to you?" The anger bubbling under his breast and he let it overflow in favor of crushing the overwhelming fear that rolled around in his gut. "Listen to a woman who just claimed to be Tom Riddle's _sister_? You must think I'm daft!"

"On the contrary," Dora interrupted scathingly, her patience waning, "I would have thought you would pay more attention to what I said rather than going off like a cocked gun."

"You're mistaking me for someone with patience," Sirius snapped at her. "Like Remus for example."

The words were a slap and Dora flinched. Sirius barely noticed how his words wounded her, for they were as much a reminder to him of Remus' involvement with…Riddle's sister, the two words burned hot in his throat.

"Does he know?" Sirius asked her, his breath a hiss. He couldn't know, he would have said something…and yet Remus had told Dora everything, wouldn't she have done the same? "Does Remus know that you –"

"Sirius, listen to me–"

"Does he know?"

"There's nothing to know," Dora almost screamed in her frustration, but she bit it back to a low growl at the last moment. She knew this place, she knew the walls that heard everything and passed it on like a flood of water until it reached the highest pirate on the mountain.

"Nothing to know? You lying, manipulating –" Sirius practically lunged at her but was brought up short by the chains chaffing his wrists and drawing blood. He yelped involuntarily, and fell back a step, looking down at the dark red liquid that oozed from beneath one manacle.

Despite their argument, Dora moved forward with a concerned light conquering the anger burning in her eyes. Her fingers reached out to brush Sirius' wrist and he jerked backward as though he had been burned. He fell back, landing hard on his hip and scooting away from her fingers as far as the chains would allow, which was only a foot.

"Don't touch me," the command was slightly pathetic, but it still stung to hear. Dora rolled her eyes, masking the hurt as she gave a huff of irritation.

"Honestly, Sirius, you must be the daftest," she knelt by him, grabbing his wrist and running her hands along his arm, "most boar-brained fool to ever maraud the seven seas."

Sirius, tangled in the chains and feeling a new bruise blossoming on his hip bone, could not move away from her, though he continued to glare at her, both from the insult and her earlier admission.

He felt torn in two. The frayed edges grappled for the other half, and failed. Part of him scrambled to remember the young wench who had sent Remus' heart pounding, who had joked with them, drank with them, who had loved them all in her own way. This part reminded him of his promise to protect her until rescue came, his promise to keep her safe.

But the newly ripped shred sliced through those arguments, leaking tinting his confusion with betrayal. It argued that maybe he was wrong. Maybe Dora didn't need protection, maybe she wasn't in danger. If what she was saying was true, why would she need the protection? Riddle's sister…a lump formed in Sirius' stomach and he fought the urge to vomit. Maybe it was only him that was in danger.

Sirius twisted his hand out her grip without speaking. Accusations lay heavy on his tongue, anger and fear vying for control over his lips. But he didn't speak, he didn't have to for Dora to see the accusation and confusion in his glower. She took a deep breath, stealing herself as one would before a fight, preparing her body for the onslaught she felt was to come.

"You must listen to me very closely Sirius," Dora began. "You asked me what I was to them –"

"I hardly expected you to say Riddle's sister," Sirius snarled at her until she cut off his tirade with a cool hand across his lips.

"Be quiet, Sirius," she ordered him coolly, her fingers pinching his cheeks as her grip tightened to punctuate her command, "the walls have ears." Dora ignored how his eyebrows pinched together at the strangely worded caution.

"The coven believes I am Riddle's sister," Dora continued, "his only surviving blood relative. That's what I am to them." Sirius tried twisted away from her, but Dora tightened her grip around his jaw. "But that doesn't make it true."

Sirius' frown deepened. The warring parts of him seemed to still, perhaps finding hope in being reconnected with her words. But Sirius held the hope at bay and pulled his head away, studying her through narrowed eyes. "Either you are Riddle's sister or you're not," he grunted, "so which is it?"

Dora's hand was still poised near Sirius face. She wanted to reach forward, to feel the contact with another person she had been deprived of for six years, but she forced her hand to drop back to her lap. She sat on her knees, tilting her head to study the ripples in the nearby mud puddle. The ripples swam to the edges of the dirty water and disappeared into the dirt as drips fell from the ceiling.

Sirius continued to eye her warily, out of the corner of her eye Dora watched his stiff posture. Before when she had yelled at him, and even when Lestrange had arrived, Sirius had remained oddly at ease. Now he was as taunt as a rope tethering a ship to the dock, waiting to snap the moment the waves became too strong.

Dora moved her gaze to the grated window, observing the night sky with an expressionless face. "The walls have ears all the time, but most of all during the day." The warning in the words filtered through Sirius' confused state, but he did not comment on it. "So while it is night we must be honest, for it will be the only time we have."

Sirius' jaw tightened and he scooted, trying to sit up against the wall. Dora observed how he twisted so that he was further from her. His steady gaze never left her face and his muscles remained stiff and ready to react.

"Did Remus ever tell you how I came to be at the pub?" Dora asked him, careful to keep her voice low. The danger of solidifying their connection after over six years of forcing herself to keep a distance from everyone she ever saw was fresh in her mind, but there was a new danger now. They were prisoners together, as Sirius had pointed out when she had first entered the cabin on the ship. Together they were held captive in the cell for good or ill, even if she was not chained as he was. They could not afford to not trust one another.

And then there was the way he was looking at her, the horrified betrayal that Dora felt in her heart like a rusted knife. The look she had feared Remus would give her if she had told him the story. Dora swallowed and looked down, giving her heart a reprieve from Sirius' accusing gaze. But it did not help. The way his voice had pitched in fear, anger, and hurt remained in her ears and the look lingered behind her eyelids. Perhaps if she told Sirius it would be easier to tell Remus. Perhaps if she told Sirius, made him understand everything, he would help Remus understand if they ever met again.

Or perhaps, if she did not live to see Remus again this would be her confession. The story she wished to take to her grave, to keep prisoner behind the frozen lips of the dead. If she could not admit it to Remus, at least she could admit it to Sirius.

"He wouldn't have," Dora continued. "I never told him any of it…and he was far too polite, too caring to ask it of me."

She waited for Sirius to say something, to assure her of Remus' goodness even in the course of her story. But the first mate provided her no such luxury.

"This prison resides under a manor on an inlet that is surrounded by cliffs with only one way in and one way out." Dora recited. "The coven controls the inlet, the cliffs, and acres back from the shore, everything that was owned by the previous owner of the estate, Tom Riddle." Before Sirius could interrupt Dora added, "the elder."

"How do you know that?" he questioned sharply, attempting to mask the surprise at the revelation that even the monster Tom Riddle had a father.

Dora ignored his question. "Thomas Riddle was very promiscuous with his love life. It was never argued whether he fathered any bastard children, merely how many." Dora's tone was one of disgust. Her nose wrinkled and her hands tightened in the folds of her skirt before relaxing as she continued.

"He met Merope Gaunt here. She was a maid in the household and was desperately in love with him. But he saw her as nothing more than a casual partner…a whore." Sirius watched as her brow furrowed at the word.

"She became pregnant," Dora continued. "When Riddle realized it was his child, he dismissed her rather than marry her. Merope gave birth to Tom Riddle barely nine months later alone in a pub with only another wench to help her.

"She tried to name him Tom Riddle, after the father. But though everyone knew what Riddle was, he was still a man that was feared and respected, though admittedly more feared. No one would christen the child under the name so Merope gave Tom his father's first name and her own last name. Then she died."

Sirius frowned at how Dora's voice dropped into almost a reverent whisper. Forgetting the real purpose of the story, he asked suddenly, "Do you pity him?"

Dora blinked at him, then dropped her gaze. "A little, I suppose," she admitted, her voice louder. "To never know your mother, to have your father not even claim you, to grow up beaten and forgotten in an orphanage…"

"He's not the first," Sirius reminded her a little hotly, dark eyes flashing dangerously. When she looked toward him, Sirius twisted his face away and concentrated on the grated window. "And I don't see what Riddle's history, fascinating and pitiful though it may be, has any bearing on your sibling relation with the man, or lack thereof."

Dora released a breath. "You asked how I knew about Riddle's father. It is because I was born here."

Sirius looked at her sharply. "Born here?"

"In a small hut behind the main house, where the servants' quarters were, Riddle did not want his hired help dirtying the main house by sleeping there," she recited. "He was much older by then but I could tell he had been handsome once, handsome and feared by everyone. Now he was a drunk, bitter man that inflicted pain on everyone around him. Yet no one could leave. The roads were watched and there was no escape from the inlet," Dora's voice wavered a little.

Sirius looked down at her with a creased brow. His hand moved, more from impulse than with any conscious thought, and touched her hand that rested in her lap. His fingers wove around her clutched fist and he squeezed. She did not speak for a long moment, but her shoulders visibly relaxed at the comforting contact.

"Him and his vile friends were all pigs," Dora continued. "They were safe from the King and his laws, safe from invasion, safe from retribution for their crimes. They cared not what they did or who they hurt in the process…and we were just lowly workers, whores meant to do his bidding. He never touched me, I never got close enough to him," she assured Sirius as his grip tightened almost painfully around her wrist. Realizing how tight his grip had grown, Sirius let go of her and returned his hand to his own lap.

Dora took a deep breath, eyes focused on a memory that Sirius could not see. "Sometimes I would stay late and help in the main house after my mother went home. One night I fell asleep in the kitchen and when I woke up there were shots in the bay…"

_Thunder rumbled in the house, shaking it from its foundation. Dora jerked awake, standing so quickly that the chair she had been sitting on crashed to the floor behind her knees. There was another thunder crash and dust fell from the floor above her and the screams began. _

_Furniture crashed to the floor and steps echoed down the staircases. Dora ran to the only window in the kitchen and with the palm of her hand wiped away the grime that had accumulated on the glass. Through the smudge she saw the bay and the fire that seemed to rise from the single ship and jump to the docks along the beach. The master's big ships could not push out from the docks fast enough and she saw them explode in a shower of ember, smoke, and splinters. Smoke replaced the waves crashing against the shore and tore through the streets until Dora could see nothing except the smoke and fire from the guns of the invading ship._

_Fear clenched her stomach and Dora knew she should run to her mother huddled in the hut behind the manor, but she could not make her legs move. She thought about screaming, but her voice choked her and would not be heard. The screaming grew louder and gunshots popped just outside the window. Just before the kitchen door crashed open, Dora dove behind the door of the cupboard._

_She curled her knees under her chin, hugging her shins with one dirty hand, keeping the door open just a crack to let the smoky light cut a sliver across her cheek. The door squealed on its hinges and clapped as the wood hit the wall. Heavy footsteps ran past her up the steps. She heard shots and more screaming and Dora bit her lip until blood dribbled down her chin. And then she saw him._

_Gaunt's name had filtered through to the commoners. He looked young, but she knew him to be in his early thirties if the stories were correct. Tom Marvolo Gaunt, the bastard son of Thomas Riddle. The stories said he killed anyone who stood in his way without reason or cause. They said he had taken a ship and was seeking vengeance across the seas against England and every man loyal to the crown rather than to the pirate king that he intended to become._

_The man waited in the middle of the room, a casual hand resting on his hip. From her hiding place Dora could only see his lower body but she could see the man was tall. He paced away from her and her eyes saw the bald head, shaved by preference, and the tattoo that ran along the side of his head. It was a snake and it seemed to stare right at her though the pirate's head was turned the other way. Dora shivered in her cupboard but her movement was shadowed by a shout and a crash that made Gaunt turn toward the doorway._

_A man stumbled into Dora's view. At first he looked like a servant in his burned and bloody nightgown, but when he lifted his head only a quickly inserted fist between her teeth stopped a gasp. It was her master, Thomas Riddle._

_Tom Gaunt yelled at the two pirates who had brought her master to his knees. They did not answer him but left the room at a run, abandoning Dora and Thomas Riddle to the pirate captain's mercy. Gaunt spat at the huddled man on the floor, circling him like a wild cat, his head tilting and his narrowed eyes absorbing every shuffled motion Riddle made across the floor. Riddle's begging burned Dora's ears as the smoky smell of the burning huts made her eyes water. The screaming was dim in her ears while Riddle's pleads for mercy roared only to fall upon deaf ears._

"_You did not give mercy to my mother," Gaunt hissed, stooping as his circled his prey a final time, "why should you earn such a privilege?"_

_She knew what would happen a moment before it did. Gaunt lunged and took Riddle by the throat. Riddle made a choking croak, clawing at the pale hand that held him. _

"_I am taking my birthright, your name," Gaunt hissed, leaning close to his father's face, tongue flicking out as a grin pulled his lips up and away from his teeth. "You may drift through the gates of hell nameless, a bastard to the devil himself."_

Close your eyes_, it was the voice of her mother that shouted the order in Dora's head. But Dora could not save herself from the sword that sliced through her master's stomach and drew crimson blood to the floor she had just scrubbed. Her fist could not hold back the strangled sob of fear, and though her mother's voice rang a warning for silence, the sob would not stop. She could not choke it back and the cupboard door was wrenched open before Dora could try and close her eyes._

_A hand dug into her hair, grasped the roots with nail-tipped fingers and dragged her from her dark hole to throw her onto the blood that coated the floor. _

_Dora's whimper was hardly audible as she twisted to look up into the face of the newly named Tom Riddle. The dark eyes were icy tunnels that devoured her hope and sucked her dry of any fight. The anger still curled his lips into a feral snarl and made his eyes appear crimson with the blood that had not yet dried on his hands. _

"_I'm the same as you!" She was surprised to realize that the shout was her own, the lilt of her own voice in a pitched scream to the man standing poised above her._

"_He took my mother, made her a whore, made her with child…conceived me and then made me clean the floors of his home." She screamed it over the roar of the flames outside in the bay, over the screams coming from the huts where her mother and her friends were being slaughtered. She did not know why she said it, but she screamed the words through her dry, constricted throat. "He sent her to her death and made me work…"_

_Riddle remained above her, silent with the sword clenched in his hand. His inaction spurred her screams._

"_He would not give me his name…he took my name and made me a…bastard." She spat the word and nearly vomited as she twisted to look at the body of the man who had given her lewd glances, who had prevented her mother from leaving even after her real father's early death, who had brought this murderer upon them all. She spat at the corpse, spat with saliva and screamed curses at him. _

_Then she lunged forward and ripped at his night clothing and tried to ignore the blood that stained her fingers, clung to her nails and drenched the edges of her sleeves. She felt like a wild cat let loose on a kill. Dora felt hands grab her arms finally, Riddle dragging, almost throwing her, the screaming child, away from the corpse. She swung her legs, kicking the dead man in the head and howling with anger at him as though he were her father, as though she was the same as Riddle, as though she was an animal._

"_He left me here in the kitchens, he took my name," Dora sobbed, not knowing what made her speak, and not daring to look up into the carved stone face of the pirate. "He's my blood…he took my name…"_

Dora sucked in a breath, letting it burn her lungs and enflame her entire body, jerking herself from the memory. Sirius watched her, trying to determine how the woman in front of him was alive when she had faced Riddle with such a lie and such hysterics. How had she escaped? Sirius had been expecting a rescue, someone, anyone. But none had come. So had Riddle, Tom Riddle who murdered everyone no matter their age or gender, actually believed the word of a child? Sirius wasn't even sure he could believe the story thrust upon him, much less that the pirate king had fallen for such a panicked lie.

"He just believed you?" Doubt dipped his voice to a whisper. Dora paused, gnawing at the corner of her lip.

"No, he didn't," Dora admitted to the first mate. "But he pretended he did…" It had been like walking a tight rope over flickering flames that either flared or died depending on Riddle's mood. She had balanced for years on the fraying rope, sidestepping too curious coven members and avoiding Riddle as often as she could, especially after he had taken her away from the pub and Remus.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" Sirius interrupted her thoughts and Dora jumped as he grabbed her arm. The anger and distrust from earlier seemed to have dissipated with her admission, replaced by horror and worry at the danger she had been in. "That he fell for such a lie as that…that he even pretended to fall for such a thing…that no one found out…"

"Keep your voice down, Sirius," Dora instructed. The first mate bit his lip then shook his head. "It wasn't luck, there is no such thing as luck with Riddle." Sirius looked as though he was about to disagree with her, but Dora continued before he could speak. "It benefited him, I was an ace hidden in his sleeve, a tool to use when needed and sometimes just a presence that he used to influence the coven."

Sirius' eyes narrowed at the comment. Dora took a breath, "Riddle was just becoming well known as a pirate, people were starting to truly fear him. He had already stolen a large amount of gold from merchant ships and he forcefully took all of his father's wealth and lands. After the attack he disappeared for days and when he returned he took me in a room…"

Sirius straightened suddenly, knuckles going white as he clenched his hands into fists. His face visibly lost all color but Dora put out a hand to calm him.

"All he did was talk. He talked about his time at the orphanage, about stealing the ship, about marauding." Dora lowered her gaze for a moment, remembering the coolness of the room, how her very blood had frozen in her veins as she sat there for hours across the table with the man who had ordered the murder of everyone she had known. "He drank a lot. Offered me some rum though I refused it and he continued to talk about how he had hidden away his treasure. No one would ever find it, he claimed. Then he talked about his plans for me.

"He said he was taking me to another port to live. He said it would be safer for me and what I knew to be away from the coven. Hidden like his treasure." Dora wet her lips and swallowed. "The next day he loaded me on the ship, keeping me locked away in the captain's cabin, and delivered me to the pub."

Dora released a breath, relieved to come to a portion of the story where there was much more warmth, much less shame. "He left me there to work, to help with the cleaning and the serving. He made a deal with the pub-mistress that I would live there and receive several visits from him to check on me. And that under no circumstances was I to be forced into the business of being a wench."

Sirius was staring at her, eyebrows lifted, not at Riddle's odd behavior but at her description of her job. "You…you weren't a wench?"

Of all the questions Dora would have thought Sirius would ask, that was not one of them. She stared at him, fought the urge to laugh at his bemused expression, then shook her head.

"But I thought you were wench…we all thought you…Remus thought you were wench." Sirius protested, feeling slightly sick to his stomach. Literally everything he knew about this woman was being torn to pieces in front of his very eyes and he wasn't sure he could stomach much more of it.

"I wasn't."

"But the pub-master –"

"Was an ass," Dora cut him off. The pub-master had often used her looks to lure men into the pub, only to feed them off onto other wenches.

Sirius blinked at her, a bit surprised by the crude language but he not entirely put off. Hadn't he seen the pub-master suggest other patrons to Dora, hadn't he seen her serve other men drinks or laugh with several of the other wenches, hadn't she taken Remus upstairs to her bed? "But…I don't understand…you were around other men, Dora."

"Never like Remus," her voice was softer when she spoke his name, reverent even. She had been merely surviving, not welcoming Riddle's constant checks or every night serving the pirates who called to her and made her offers that she could hardly stomach.

Then she had met Remus. She had seen him come into the bar with Sirius and James. She had looked at all three men, but Sirius and James had been a mere glance while Remus had been an intoxicating brandy that she could not have enough of. She had made sure to go to them before anyone else could. When she tripped and he caught her, the warmth around her waist in such contrast to Riddle's icy hand that had pulled her from his ship into the pub, sent a fire into her stomach that blossomed into a pulsing flower under her breast. He had been the first, the last, the only

Sirius watched her face relax in the memory of Remus. His chest ached as finally he saw the old Dora in the slight curve of her lips and the glow in her blue eyes. He hated himself for the question that fell from his lips, "What happened the night Lestrange came to the pub?"

Dora's face paled and she shifted her gaze to the puddle of mud. "Maybe he tired of not being able to use me for anything more than a lure, tired of Remus sharing my bed when his other customers could not….or maybe he would have pushed another wench into Lestrange's embrace when he got too drunk. He didn't realize Riddle was in port that night.

"Lestrange was on Riddle's ship," Dora explained as Sirius stared at her, no longer able to formulate the questions that were fighting to break through his silence. "Riddle heard of the fight and came to the pub. I thought he was going to kill me or the pub-master but he didn't. He seemed…" Dora fumbled for the word. It wasn't scared, Riddle had never been scared of anything. "Worried."

"About you?"

"No," Dora's answer was sharp, definitive. "He took me back here to care for Riddle's estate. He claimed it was the safer place for me," she finished bitterly, not believing the words even as Riddle had spoken them while locking her in a room.

Dora remembered the nights locked away in the hull of the ship only to be transferred to the manor she was confined to for months. For weeks she saw only Riddle, then select members of his most trusted pirates. It was over a year later that she had been allowed to walk freely around the common coven members.

"It wasn't until I began covering my hair with different bandannas that he started to allow me outdoors. People saw me so rarely and I was always wearing a different head covering that some of the lower pirates didn't know who I was, much less that I was Riddle's supposed sister. Then I found the wigs and wore them. Hardly anyone recognized me, only Riddle's inner circle truly knew who I was, though the others knew that I was one not to be touched on Riddle's orders," Dora added quietly. "It was a few years before Riddle let me leave port, and only after I made myself unrecognizable to anyone I could have met…though I met no one surrounded by members of the coven."

Sirius was watching her as she toyed with a strand of hair between two fingers. He twisted around and leaned his back against the damp wall, chains clinking as he did so.

"He was trying to protect you…" The concept seemed completely foreign. He had seen what kind of a man Riddle was when he was half chocking James on the deck of _the Marauder_. He had heard the stories of James' humiliation and he had seen part of the fight between the two captains. He had heard all the dark tales of Riddle's deeds, and he could not picture that man defending Dora.

"No, he protected a tool," Dora corrected him.

"And now?" Sirius asked her. Dora frowned at him, brow wrinkled at his half question. During the course of her story Sirius had lost the horror that had lined his face, the betrayal had fallen from his eyes in favor of something softer and stronger. She could not understand what the second emotion was. It reminded her of a few times she had caught Remus looking at her intently. It had nothing to do with love, but it was something else, a determination that was not to be deterred.

Dora attempted to ignore the unease at not being able to distinguish the emotion beyond determination, telling herself that it was preferable over the horror and anger that had consumed him at her badly worded admission.

"Now that Riddle's dead," Sirius said slowly, "what's stopping the coven, Lestrange, from killing you? Or worse?"

Dora took a breath "You're here for a reason. They want something from you. That is why they tracked you after Riddle was killed, it is why they sent Crouch and others after the men who defeated Riddle, why Lestrange followed you and took you from Looe Island." Sirius' eyes grew wider, but a hand on his arm prevented any questions he might have asked.

"They want something from you and I think," Dora paused, eyes widening as she realized why the coven had deviated, why they had been intent on taking Sirius _alive_, why they were keeping him alive. It was for the same reason that she had been safe since Riddle's death, they wanted something from her, information, a secret. "That's what is keeping you alive right now."

"Do you understand, Sirius?" she demanded, suddenly panicked that he realize the important fact. Her grip tightened around his arm and she glanced quickly at the sky that remained dark despite the hours that she was sure had passed.

Sirius twisted out of her grip. "But I don't _know_ anything," he hissed at her, only to have her hush him again.

"Don't say that. The walls have ears Sirius, if they find out you know nothing, they will kill you. You have to let them think you know something."

"And you?" Sirius demanded, bringing the conversation full circle by thrusting the question toward her. "What do you have? Riddle's not alive any longer, Dora. And so what if a few of them are afraid, that charade can only last so long…why won't they touch you now…if you're not truly Riddle's sister…." Doubt crinkled his voice.

"There are some who do not care that Riddle named me his sister," Dora relented. "There are even some who hope to deny it. But they do care that Riddle never trusted anyone with the location of his treasure. They remember that Riddle would take me aside, that he watched me like a hawk when he was at the estate, though it was rare he was here at all. They remember how he dragged me into hiding when he thought someone from the coven would get close to me, would hear me speak of something I knew. They care that perhaps he would confide the treasure's location to his sister.

"And did he?"

Dora looked at one palm, letting her eyes trace the lines across the skin. Riddle had never treated her as a sister. As a servant, as something to be kept locked away, hidden, like a prized canary that others could observe but not touch. Dora clenched her hand into a fist, digging her nails into the lines already creasing her palm. The pirates had feared her presence because Riddle made it seem as if she were his ears when he was not present, when in reality he asked her nothing about what went on when he was marauding far from the estate. He trusted her with nothing, save to be a tool in the fear he held over his men. He talked to her in drunken dazes that may or may not have been acts themselves. He would deliberately seem as though he had told her something important which made the pirates suspicious, when he had really told her nothing at all.

It had probably been Riddle himself who started the rumor of her knowing the location of the treasure, or at least of her knowing clues that would lead to its discovery, clues about booby traps he might have set or a key needed to access the trove. Dora knew it had been why Riddle had been so intent to get her away from the pub and back to his sanctum. He had created a false trail but if anyone got too close to the false trail to discover his lie, then his entire empire would crumble.

There was the tiny glimmer that perhaps Riddle had slipped, that maybe he had told her too much in one of his midnight talks. Maybe somewhere in her memories there was the secret to Riddle's treasure, though Riddle had never been sure if she had recognized it and could not ask without revealing what he had told her. Maybe she did know the way to his treasure, but Dora had thought and remembered for over six years and nothing had come. Not even her familiarity with the estate where Riddle must have laid his hidden loot, or at least part of it, had come to her.

"I know nothing about a treasure…" Dora breathed. "Riddle never spoke to me about any secrets or maps leading to a treasure. But he made everyone believe he did. He made the coven believe I watched them when he was not there, his secret spy, his only real ally, his sister, his blood. They feared me for that, but it was a lie. He used my own lie against me…"

Even after Riddle's death she suffered for his lies and tricks, because according to him and his coven, Dora, Tom Riddle's sister, was meant to know the late pirate king's secrets. Sirius stared at the woman across from him, her blue eyes seemed dimmer, older, as they looked at the ground between them. Slowly, Sirius scooted closer until their knees brushed and Dora looked up at him.

"Honesty…" He tilted his head toward the window that remained dark. "James killed Riddle…Riddle came after us because he found out we had the key to Ribb's treasure. Did you know that?" he asked without looking at her.

Dora shook her head, golden locks brushing her cheeks with the action. "The entire coven knew Riddle was searching for the key. They knew he had found out who had it but most of them were never involved in the search. Only Riddle ever looked for it while the other ships stole and marauded like normal. Lestrange must have known though," Dora admitted finally, eyebrows pinching together. "Lestrange was the one who announced it was Captain James Potter who had murdered Riddle…until then I did not know it was James that Riddle had been pursuing.

"Imagine," Dora laughed slightly, the small smile on her face was real, "James Potter a pirate captain. I couldn't believe it." She looked at Sirius who was toying with one of the chains, not looking at her. "You and Remus were with him the entire time?" she asked softly.

"Of course," Sirius replied far too flippantly, dropping the chain and letting it swing, rattling from his wrist. "Do you think we would leave James by himself to captain a ship? Poor boy couldn't handle the responsibility without us," Sirius smiled at her, though the corners of his mouth felt heavy and eventually the smile fell.

"They think James has Riddle's treasure map," Sirius admitted after a brief silence. "Crouch came after us, Lestrange found us in a pub…and now I'm here trussed like a turkey and James is still out there being chased by a coven who assumes Riddle just dropped his map on our deck." Sirius shook his head and let out a huff of disgust. "I'm supposed to watch out for him. And if I'm not there to do it…" He let the thought fade away, barely realizing he had spoken aloud.

The corner of her mouth turned upward and Dora let out a breathy chuckle, though there was nothing in their situation that was humorous. "You boys always thought you were the one protecting the other two," she told him, the laugh still in her voice. Sirius stared at her blankly and Dora shook her head, glad to talk about James and Remus rather than Riddle, if only for a moment. "Remus used to say the same thing. I must go, James and Sirius will get into trouble without me, they'll get hurt, they won't know what to do…always protecting you two."

Sirius dropped his gaze, staring at the ground between his knees. "You're saying James can take care of himself."

"Hardly," Dora snorted at him. It was a relief to speak effortlessly for once without the fear of whispers being passed on or of secrets revealed. To talk like her old self was refreshing even if it felt foreign on her lips.

"If there is one thing I learned all those years ago, Sirius, it was that you three cannot survive alone. You're lost boys wandering aimlessly until reunited. Separate you are funny, wise, strong, but together you three are loyal, proud, and leaders. Together you are better, apart you are…you're not you."

Sirius stared at her, the corner of his lip twitched. He did not need to affirm her statement aloud, he knew it was true. He had not felt right in weeks and though they had struggled to hold it together they had fumbled, crumbled, and fallen further apart and further from themselves.

In the past when it had happened there had still been hope for them to fix the damage. Something, a drink, a spar, always cleared the air and the next day James would be the charismatic leader who always knew how to get to the next dot on the map, Sirius would be at his place protecting his captain's back with his mischievousness cloaking the dagger at his hip, and Remus would be the clear thinking one who always knew what to say to calm the situation. They were one and they always had been, until now.

Now they were scattered, like bird seed thrown to the four winds. Now they were locked away, hiding from view, and stumbling without anyone to catch them.

Sirius swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair, his chains clinking as he did so.

"You lied to protect yourself," he said slowly, admitting silently that it had been the only way to survive, to live by this lie of hers no matter the danger now, no matter the shame that had eaten her from the inside, no matter what Remus may say later.

Dora did not nod or speak. Instead she twisted and leaned her back against the cool wall. Sirius remembered what she had claimed earlier, about wishing them away from this place. He thought about asking her if she was wishing Remus and James away now, if Dora truly did not want Remus to find her or if she had lied about that.

Sirius tilted his head back, saw a thread of pink working its way through the early morning sky, and held his tongue.

* * *

**The next chapter was a third of the way written, then decided that it did not like itself and is now only about 2 paragraphs in. My goal is to work on it and hopefully I'll be able to post it by next weekend. That is the goal I am working toward this week, but no promises yet. In the meantime please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter! :) :) **


	21. Selfishness

**A/N: So to begin I apologize for it being about a year since I last updated. Life intervened and this chapter proved far more difficult than I anticipated. But I would like to thank the wonderful reviewers who continued to remind me of their interest in teh story and force me to finish the chapter, without which I may have kept editing it until next yera ;) So thank you to all of you who reviewed and Private Messaged me, this chapter is for you guys!**

**So with no further ado (except to say I do not own the characters from Harry Potter ;)), here is the next chapter.**

Chapter 20: Selfishness

James ground his palm into his red rimmed eyes, smothering a yawn before dropping his hand to the marked map spread across the desk. They had been through most of the log books since setting sail, yet James could see no pattern except that Riddle seemed to have frequented the lower ports more often than any along the northern coast of England.

He dragged an open log book toward him and turned several pages, running his fingers down the smeared names along the edges. The words blurred slightly in his sleep deprived eyes and James forced himself to blink several times in order to keep his wits. Finally he was forced to lift his head from the book only to have his eyes fall on Lily sitting on the floor, her back to his bed and a log book open in her lap.

Her red hair had been hastily tied back though loose strands fell along the back of her neck and across her cheeks. Her clothes were wrinkled from sleeping in them the night before and even from across the room James recognized her own concealed yawn. He watched as her nose wrinkled and her delicate finger turned the page before tucking a lock of red hair behind her ears. A forgotten smile tugged at the corner of James' lips, but he instinctively smothered it and dropped his eyes back to the dancing words across the page.

His mind refused to focus on the scripted words beneath him. The weight on his shoulders lingered, the implication of failure an echo in his head and a clanging bell in his ears. But the anger and guilt from earlier had faded to a dull thrum, smothered in her presence. Despite there being no plan, no clear destination, and no clue he could cling to for hope, he could cling to her. James' gaze twitched back to the woman who sat nearby. For the moment, it would have to be enough.

His hand drifted to a drawer on his desk, from which he pulled a dusty round bottle with a long neck. The amber liquid sloshed softly as he set the bottle on the far corner of his desk. At the sound, Lily dragged her eyes from the book. Her eyebrows arched slightly as she looked past the bottle to the man sitting behind the desk watching her. The corner of James' lips twisted upward, surrendering to a tired, half smile that coaxed Lily to her feet. She walked to the edge of the desk, set the log book down, and picked up the bottle with a casual hand. She turned the bottle over between her hands, eyeing the liquid pressed against the glass. Leaning a hip against the desk, she held up the bottle.

James shrugged a shoulder, sinking into the back of the chair and letting his hands rest on his knees. Her lips twisted into a small smile as Lily moved around the corner of the desk. James shifted back to give her room as she sat across his lap.

Lily pulled the cork from the bottle and placed it behind her on the desk. James' hands crept around her waist, holding her shoulder against his chest. Lily took a small sip of the liquid, letting it burn down her throat and smolder through her breast to linger in her stomach. She watched James lift the bottle to his own lips, taking a longer drink and swallowing hard. He kept one arm around her waist as he set the bottle back on the desk and looked up at her.

She did not ask him the reason for the rum or the reason why he was ignoring the log books at her back in favor of holding her in the chair. Instead, Lily placed a hand against his cheek, her thumb stroking the corner of his lips as she looked into his face.

James twisted his head into her hand, inhaling the faint scent of rum that lingered on Lily's breath. Lily moved her hand to brush the bangs from his forehead, feeling goose-bumps rise up under the path of her fingers. James shifted in his seat, forcing Lily to fall slightly against his chest. She did not pull away but let her head rest in the crook of his shoulder and neck.

"Did you sleep?" Lily asked him softly, though she guessed the answer.

James tilted his chin to rest on her hair and released a deep breath. "I spent most of the night thinking…" James admitted, glancing toward the stack of untouched log books. Lily burrowed closer to him, letting James' arms tighten around her waist.

"What were you thinking about?"

James looked at her for a moment. "You."

Lily pulled away from him, not far enough to fall out of his embrace, but enough to look at his face. The question in her eyes caused James to slink his hand away from her waist and to catch the hand that rested on his chest. He held it still and Lily could feel his heartbeat through her palm.

"I was considering whether it would be better to find a ship and send you home to your father," James spoke the admission downward, careful not to look at Lily's face that twisted into a grimace at his answer.

Lily twisted her hand and linked their fingers together so their palms pressed, then she pulled their intertwined hands between them. James' lips parted and Lily tightened her grip on his hand to quell his protest. Lily leaned forward and rested her forehead against James'.

"Do you think you could get rid of me that easily?" she admonished him without heat. James tightened his fingers around hers and tipped his head back, sensing her lips rather than seeing them.

"Erm…" A cleared throat froze their lips barely inches apart. James opened his eyes and looked up at Lily whose mouth had twisted into a small, amused smile that held more than a trace of disappointment. James pulled is head back and looked over Lily's shoulder to see Liz waiting in the doorway.

James stared at her as if she had come bursting into the cabin with trumpets blaring and banners flying, rather than walking in after her knock had gone unnoticed.

"You and Sirius have so much in common," he blurted without thinking, "namely your impeccable timing."

It wasn't until the name slipped out that James realized he had expected it to be Sirius, not Liz, who had interrupted the moment. Not until the name had fallen much too easily through unguarded lips had he realized that for a few moments he had forgotten that their crew was incomplete and that everything was not as it once had been. Lily's grip tightened around his hand before James pulled out of her grip and rose from his seat, forcing Lily to stand as well. James ignored her furrowed brow and Liz's gaze as he retreated to the helm.

* * *

Sirius glared at the tin plate of molded bread that had been shoved into Dora's hands a few moments before. Dora was carefully picking apart one of the better looking pieces while he watched with a fixed frown. His legs were bent and he had propped his arms up on his knees, resting his chin in the curve of one elbow. Over his arm he adjusted his gaze to Dora's face. No longer were there lines wrinkling her brow or twisting her lips into a frown, the light in her eyes had shed its shadows.

Sirius shifted his arms, hiding his face behind his forearm. He almost closed his eyes, welcoming the emptiness that might bring, but he didn't allow his eyelids to fall. Ever since Dora had told her story whenever he closed his eyes he saw Remus reminding him of how much he loved Dora and how he continued to look for her. If that guilt wasn't enough to send Sirius' gut into spasms, there was always James or Lily or Liz in the background, watching him and waiting. Sirius shifted on the floor, his boots scraping the stone and catching Dora's attention. Her blue eyes were bright, even in the dim light of the cell. Wordlessly, she held out a small scrap of bread.

Chains sending up a tinkling chorus, Sirius reached across, devouring the bread in one bite. "You would think they'd want to fatten me up before they put me on the roasting spit." His voice was muffled as he replaced his chin on his arm.

He had tried not to be antsy, but for a man used to walking and doing as he pleased, it wasn't just the prospect of torture and death that made him jumpy. The chains barely allowed him to move two feet from the wall. He felt like a puppet with knotted strings. To make matters worse, Sirius had yet to see Lestrange since their arrival; that worried him more than whatever torture was being planned. Lestrange was the type to gloat, if their meeting earlier was anything to go by. And yet Lestrange stayed away.

Sirius rattled his chains in agitation. Dora lifted a brow, her hands still picking at the leftover bread. He forced his muscles to still and made his arms drop limply as if in calm but it couldn't fool her. Sirius let his head tip back to rest on the wall, staring up at the cracked ceiling and tracing one particularly rigid crack that ran from the wall to the window.

Dora toyed with the crumbs of bread, keeping her gaze on the plate as the silence settled. As her fingers occupied themselves, her mind drifted to Remus. When they had been separated he had been barely eighteen, tall and lean, but muscled due to the weeks of working on a ship. His hands were calluses over calluses and Dora remembered how he had traced the lines on her palm with one finger, leaving a trail of goose-bumps along her own rough skin.

Her hands stopped, lying open on the tray as her blue eyes traced the lines on her palms. She had run her fingers through his light hair hundreds of times, brushing it from his eyes just for an excuse to touch him. Her fingers curled, remembering the feeling of Remus' hands twined with hers, palm to palm with no space left between them.

"Is he still the same?" The murmured request brought Sirius' head up, tilting his face away from the filtering moonlight toward her. He did not have to ask who she referred to; the emotion barely kept out of the words was enough for him to know.

Sirius wrinkled his nose. Only when he spoke did Dora realize it was only mock disgust trying to hide a smile. "Of course not. He's all old and wrinkly and smelly."

Dora could not stop the laugh that bubbled from her lips. Spurred by the response, Sirius continued with a gleam in his eyes, "Honestly, the man never bathes and don't get me started on his hair. All gray and falling out, he's practically bald now. Not handsome at all."

"Sirius," Dora groaned, shoving him in the shoulder, which only earned her a familiar toothy grin that until then had been absent.

"I'm being honest with you," he assured her, still wearing a grin. "It's positively horrid how he keeps himself these days." Dora shook with barely suppressed laughter, upsetting the tin plate and sending the remaining crumbs onto the floor.

Sirius waited, enjoying the unrestrained laughter, not tempered or kept hidden, but flowing easily from the woman near him. It was the first rays of sun to reach him in the dank cell in days. His shoulders relaxed against the wall as he basked in the warmth as he would have on the bow of _the Marauder_.

Dora muffled her giggles, though the smile remained across her lips. "It appears you aged better than he, only a few gray hairs."

Sirius snorted at her. "Oh the woman has a sense of humor. No wonder Remus loves you." Dora's cheeks glowed at the phrase with the knowledge that even if all that Sirius had said was true, Remus hadn't changed all that much.

"He's older now," Sirius admitted after a moment, his voice heavy and low. Tilting his head slightly, he let his grin fall into a crooked smile. "Like you."

Dora sobered, but the cloud did not fall back over her features. She shifted closer to him, waiting.

Sirius slanted his eyes downward. Remus was better at hiding all the guilt and feelings than most people, at least until recently. He had kept his features bland, his words coaxing and only in a few moments of anger over the past several years had Remus ever slipped and shown how much pain he truly was in. Sirius had seen it in his eyes when Remus confronted James about abandoning Lily, he had heard it in Remus' cracking voice and even in the sound of Remus' fist connecting with James' face.

James hadn't been the only one having nightmares either, Sirius recalled, though Remus' fear manifested itself in losing the woman he loved over and over again. And when the three of them trained, Remus' mind could never have been far from the night where he hadn't been able to fight well enough to save Dora.

Sirius looked up at her, dark eyes fierce. "He is happy, but it's not like it was with you. It's like it was before, with just him, James and me. Only now he knows what he could have, of what he couldn't protect."

Dora had long thought she was beyond any more pain, but her chest clenched and twisted at Sirius' words as though a fist had broken through her chest to strangle her heart. She knew of course the guilt that had flowed through her own veins during their years apart, she knew of how many nights she had dreamed of Remus, had longed for him. And yet in all that Sirius had said there was one glimmer of warmth, and while it had come in a moment of teasing it rang truer and louder than a church's bell in her ears. Despite how old they had both become, despite the longing and guilt, Remus still loved her.

Sirius saw Dora's shoulders relax slightly, though she did not voice whatever thought had calmed the pain that had tightened her body. Feeling the need to bring her all the way back from where his too honest answer had sent her, Sirius reached and touched her arm with one hand. When Dora looked up, she found a smile on his lips unmarred by twists or teasing.

"When you see him, you'll know." Dora's lips pulled into a grateful smile. Sirius let the silence hang, then twisted one corner of his lip. "Except you know he has gotten a bit flabby with age –"

Dora chuckled. She lifted an eyebrow and fixed him with a twisted smile. "Oh the man has a sense of humor," she mirrored, tilting her head at him, "no wonder Liz loves you."

Sirius' grin faltered, the corners dropping before he set his lip in a neutral line. He murmured his affirmation. He tilted his face toward the barred window, the shadows muted his features.

Dora twisted her hand in her skirt, wondering why she hadn't thought to ask of Liz earlier. "How is she?"

Sirius released a breath. "Older," he half muttered. It seemed to be the most accurate term for them all, he thought with some bitterness. "A regular businesswoman actually. She lives at her grandmother's old inn.

"Alone?"

He nodded, gnawing on the inside of his cheek as he did so.

"And you live…"

"On a boat." Sirius straightened and pasted a brilliant grin on his features. Dora stared at him, her brow smooth and her lips curved in a slight frown. Sirius' grin fell drooped. "Well, it's a ship really, but you get the general idea."

Dora nodded, reaching for the tin plate and picking up the crumbs from the floor one at a time. Her nails scraped against the tin and in the silence they sounded louder than a barrage of cannon fire in Sirius' head.

"Do you see her?"

"Here and there," Sirius said slowly, watching each crumb drop onto the tin. "She's a busy woman, always out on the town. And well, we've been a little swamped with Riddle and then trying to find you and the coven…"

"I see."

Chained to the wall beside her, the moonlight seemed to burn his face. Sirius picked at the manacle with his thumb and didn't look up at the woman sitting near him.

* * *

Steel slid against steel, ringing in Liz's ears as her sword slipped against Lily's. The two women broke apart, gingerly circling in a fighter's crouch. Liz yielded a step, her foot slipping along the floor behind her. Her dark bangs stuck to her forehead and her cheeks flushed as she tried to make up for her misstep with a twist of her wrists. Her parry dropped and Lily wrenched the weapon sideways, dislodging the sword from Liz's grip. The blade skidded across the paneled floor, stopping just before the disarrayed bookcases lining the wall.

Liz straightened, her fists clenching empty air. Brow wrinkled and eyebrows low over her dark eyes, Liz stared at the tip of steel inches from her body. Lily took a step back, letting her sword drop to her side.

"You're still dropping your guard too low."

Liz's shoulders tensed at Lily's criticism. Ignoring the silence that waited for her response, she moved toward her weapon. She had been on the receiving end of Lily's strength for the past hour and had the bruises to prove it. While they were closer in size, Lily used her elbows, arms, legs and hips to physically overpower Liz hardly seeming to need her weapon. Some might have said it was cheating, but Lily had been trained by a pirate and Liz knew the pirates they would eventually face would not be as forgiving.

Lily rolled her shoulders, feeling the bones grate against one another. Her muscles twinged from the hours spend over the log books. Sparring often left her feeling more energized with her mind clear. Liz's training left her mentally and physically exhausted, drained of the patience it took to combat the innkeeper's self-doubt and slipping footwork. The sight of James' back as he'd retreated and her inability to go after him rankled Lily, leaving her ire like dry undergrowth just waiting for a spark.

The redhead released a grunt, "Again." Liz had only a moment to bring her blade up to catch the downward slash of the weapon. Lily sidestepped, twisting her arms and almost disarming Liz a second time.

Liz drew back with her weapon at an angle across her body. Lily circled to the left, her eyes flickering for a moment toward the cracked door. Liz saw the glance and slid forward a step, but Lily's blade lifted at the last moment, catching the sideways swipe. Twisting her body, Lily threw her off balance. Liz stumbled back several steps until there was a wide space between them.

"Your footwork needs to be quicker," Lily instructed, advancing a step. "You're not going to be able to win on strength, but you are quick and should use that to your advantage."

Liz's hand tightened around the handle of the blade until her knuckles turned white. "So I'm quick at running away? What good is that if they stab me in the back?" The bitterness made her words almost a snarl.

The hairs on Lily's neck rose slightly at the challenge. The calmer part of her mind cautioned her, Liz was still guilty and angry at herself, causing her more often than not to lash out at the nearest person. Lily had kept herself calm, forcing her words to sooth Liz's wounded heart, but the aches in her shoulders, the steady pulse of a headache and the sleepless nights shattered the understanding.

"You came onto the ship with the understanding that you would be going _into_ a fight. Not running away from it," Lily countered. She spun the handle of her blade in her hand, causing the blade to hiss through the air.

Liz winced slightly. "No one can predict where the course of a fight will lead," the innkeeper said with a released breath.

Lily paced toward the bookshelf, keeping her gaze on Liz. "It is like life in that respect. You make certain moves, certain attacks and defenses, and you must live or die with them." She stopped, balancing on the balls of her feet for a moment before retracing her steps. "You cannot make an attack, be blocked, then retreat and then be shackled with the guilt of why it did not work. You must regroup and prepare for another attack."

Liz swallowed. Her palm was slick against the metal of the handle. "And what are you preparing for?" she asked abruptly. "What is your next attack? Do you return to the safety of your father's home?" The next words fell from her lips before she could stop them. "Or do you stay and fight and die for your lover, whose friends you will never replace?"

Lily's grip around her sword tightened, the muscles rippling along her forearms. Instinct drove her forward, her sword whipping toward Liz. The innkeeper barely brought her sword up in time to catch the weapon. Lily's sword twisted and the swords shrieked against one another. Liz twisted sideways but Lily moved with her, swatting away the poorly handled parry and jerking the sword from Liz's grip. The act threw Liz off balance and she hit the floor shoulder first. She twisted, her empty hand digging at the floor as she tried to scramble up. She froze when the tip of Lily's sword touched her throat.

Lily's chest heaved with the adrenaline and hurt that coursed like rapids through her blood. Her breath came in short bursts, breaking up the heavy silence that hung around them.

"Training is over." The tip of the sword retracted.

Liz winced, shifting her gaze downward as Lily spun on her heel and stalked back to the desk. The redhead flung the sword on the desk, the clang of metal against wood echoed in her ears. Lily braced her hands on the edge of the desk, inhaling through her nose and trying to find the calm that had been present in James' arms only hours earlier. She had snapped, unforgivably so, at the woman she had bullied James into allowing on his ship. Her responsibility. Lily ran a hand through her hair in a motion strangely reminiscent of James, wondering how she would explain this to James or how to speak to Liz when they saw each other again.

"I never meant it when I told him I wasn't interested."

Lily twisted at the sound of Liz's voice to discover the woman had not moved from the floor. Lily stared at her, wondering whether she should stop the story at the beginning or allow it to run its course, wherever it led. Before she made up her mind, Liz was once again speaking.

"He would sneak into the kitchens and I would throw him out, I threw soup on him when he came into the dining room when I was serving, I ignored him…though I couldn't even do that properly." Liz's lips curved slightly.

"He would bring me shells and trinkets that he either stole or found. He would steal kisses when he thought I wasn't paying attention. So sweet…and so infuriating. He would saunter in drunk, singing love ballads about wenches and pirates. He called me flowery names, spilled food, flirted with…" Liz released a rough sigh. "I fought with him every day."

But you love him? The question almost fell from Lily's lips, but she caught it before it could betray her. The roaring of the blood in her ears, the heat of it on her cheeks, the rapid heartbeat that came from arguing with James were not so different from the feelings when she was wrapped in his embrace.

"The first time I fell asleep in his arms I felt warm, safe. I could feel his heart beat against my cheek. It was so steady and constant." Liz stared at the floor, her eyes lost in the memory. "So strange for a man who could be bubbling one moment and simmering with anger the next." Lily's eyes left the woman, her cheeks warming at the intimate tone that deepened Liz's voice.

"When I woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn't there. I thought something had happened so I went to find James." Liz looked up, meeting Lily's hooded gaze. "They were all staying in the inn that night. When I opened the door I saw him lying at the edge of their bed.

A bitter laugh caused goose bumps to ripple up Lily's spine. "He left my bed, left me, to sleep in a tiny bed that wasn't meant to hold two, much less three grown men. He chose to sleep with James' elbow in his ribs, clinging to the edge while Remus stole the blankets instead of in my bed holding me."

Lily's grip on the edge of the desk tightened, her nails digging into the wood for a brief instant. The memory of her time at the inn and Liz's observation of the three men flickered like a dying ember.

"They own each other, complete each other. Without one piece they crumble. Can you not see that?" Liz demanded hotly.

"Clearer than you." Lily's voice was ice, but her expression lacked any malice or challenge.

Liz flinched, eyes dropping to the floor. "He'll always choose them." Her voice was small, the truth she spoke one that she had hugged against her for so long it felt almost like betrayal to speak it aloud.

"You underestimate him." Lily's whisper carried to the cabin's darkest corners. "You underestimate them all if you believe a twenty-four year old man will make the same choice an eighteen year old did. You underestimate him if you believe reliance on them means he doesn't need you as well."

The redhead remembered vividly rushing up the steps to the landing, stopping Riddle only a moment before he drove his sword through James' heart, remembered the look of relief and terror on James' face when he had seen her and how his arms felt when the danger was over and he'd pulled her to him. She remembered him clinging to her after Sirius' disappearance, the tears that stained her shirt and his head in her lap as he fell into fitful exhaustion. She remembered how he had embraced her in the inn after Liz had scorned him and how he had handed over the log book when she'd offered her support.

Taking a step forward, Lily extended her hand to the woman on the floor. Liz started and then stared at the open palm. Slowly, she reached up, her fingers tentatively clasping Lily's forearm. Lily pulled her to her feet. Neither woman released their hold on the other, dark eyes meeting green.

"I'm selfish," Liz admitted softly. "I love him and I hate him, but even when he makes me hate him I want him…"

"The flight though the air," Lily spoke slowly, "the most idiotic thing I have done to date, Sirius called heroic and Remus dubbed romantic." Lily tightened her grip on the older woman's arm. "But it was nothing but pure selfishness."

Liz's eyebrows lifted past her bangs and Lily shrugged one shoulder.

"I simply did not want to live without him," she said. "Perhaps in that we are not so different, you and I."

* * *

"I have a confession." Dora murmured into the silence of the cell. Sirius looked sharply toward her through the faint light the moon pushed through the bars of the window.

"Another one?" The question slipped from a slightly bemused expression.

Despite the weight of what she needed to say, Dora smiled at his response. "Yes, though perhaps not as long winded.

Beneath the joking tone there was a sliver of urgency in her words. Sirius released a breath, letting his chest sag and his shoulders relax into the stone wall. "Some would argue that I am not the best person for confessing ones sins," he muttered as an excuse, though it lacked any real force.

"It is not so much a sin as…guilt," Dora corrected, the smile fading. "Do you remember when I told you I had wished away any rescue?" Sirius tilted his head slightly. "I lied."

Sirius stilled so not even his heart seemed to strain against his chest, though he could practically feel it vibrating through his skin. Dora did not seek sanctuary in the puddle or her lap, but held Sirius' gaze as if to break it would be her damnation.

"I tried," she admitted. "I tried to will you, Remus and James away, but I didn't really. I couldn't." Dora swallowed away the bitter taste lingering on her tongue. "I wanted someone to save me…not so much different than how you have spoken of James rescuing you."

Sirius winced slightly at the comparison. "It's not exactly the same–" he protested.

"It is," Dora cut him off firmly and softly. "Against good sense I wished Remus here, to search the seas for me, to find me and carry me away from this nightmare. For over six years I wished it…wished him to find his way to where a fate worse than death greeted him, just to see his face, to know he had come for me."

Sirius' lack of response was all the affirmation Dora's statement needed. He rubbed one shackled wrist, more for the sound the chains offered than for any comfort to his bruised skin. He had been wishing for a quick rescue from this cell, but for James and Remus to come and face the coven alone…Sirius bit his tongue abruptly, then winced as saliva in his mouth burned the fresh cut across his tongue. How could he rightly wish his friends to come to his rescue?

Sirius looked at het women next to him. "It is not something to feel guilty over." It was meant as a reassurance but it came out far harsher than he intended.

Dora tilted her chin downward. "That is not what I feel guilty for, Sirius."

His brow wrinkled as she ran the back of her hand across her quivering lips. "My guilt is the _relief_ I felt when I saw it was you the coven had taken and not Remus."

Dora dared not drop her eyes though her statement echoing against the walls made her stomach churn. Across from her, the first mate straightened so his back no longer leaned quite so easily against the stone. He did not speak and Dora could not tell if it was hurt that flickered across his dark eyes. She would have spared both of them if she could, but the man she had condemned by speaking had to know of the relief in her breast when she had seen it was him slumped over in the corner rather than Remus. They were prisoners together and there could be no such secrets between them if they were to stand against what was coming.

Sirius expected her words to be a sharp dagger plunged into his stomach, twisted in discomfort until her final word killed the fragile bridge that had been built in the damp cell. But he felt no stab, no bridge crumbling at his feet. There was a glimmer of hurt, to be expected he assumed, but it was shoved aside with the odd relief that this was some twisted proof that Dora still cared deeply for Remus, as if Sirius really had doubted it. What Sirius felt instead was an emptiness that engulfed his chest, smothered his heartbeat to a dull murmur so Sirius himself could not even hear the blood pumping.

* * *

James slapped the final logbook against the corner of the table he had set up on the upper deck. The table shook and he braced his palms on the wood to settle it. He glared at the spots littering the coast drawn on the map lying between his hands. The lines between the dots were faded from running his finger over the borders and between the ports.

Remus had started at the sudden noise, now he watched James stare at the parchment. He waited two heartbeats before demanding, "Well?"

James pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes closed. "We've mapped every port Riddle has been to in the past decade. I've plotted the courses between them and all we have is chicken scratch across a perfectly good map."

Remus snatched the map from the table, eyes darting across the lines and dots. James crossed his arms, leaned against the rail and waited. The silence stretched between them until Remus' arms dropped, the map crinkling in his grasp. His shoulders had slumped though his eyes still stared hungrily at the map.

James turned his head, looking back over his shoulder at the white swells in the dark blue ocean. His hands tightened around the railing, wood chipping off under his nails. Around him were waves, swells crashing against the hull of the ship and salty sea air. There wasn't a ship, bird or sea turtle in sight.

"We need help."

Remus' head came up. His brow wrinkled into a frown as he stared at his captain. "What?"

"I…_we_ can't do this alone, Remus."

"In case you haven't noticed, James, we do not exactly have a surplus of aid." Remus flung out a hand toward the half deserted deck.

"And in case you haven't noticed we haven't done very well on our own." James threw out his own arm toward the empty sea. "We can't search everywhere, through every shadow or around every corner. I know these waters and I can't make anything out of these scratches or where they might be leading us."

"Who do you suggest we go to?" Remus demanded. "Lily's father? The King?" Bitterness spiked his voice. "James there is no one to help us."

James slumped back against the railing, his shoulders drooping. "I know one man." A wry, half grin broke through his melancholy features. "Though he's lost so many pieces man may not be the proper term anymore."

Remus' eyebrows furrowed, his eyes darting side to side as he tried to think of one man left alive and apart from this ship who would consider aiding them. His eyebrows jumped past his bangs and his throat constricted when the realization came.

"James, you can't–"

"Of course," James considered, ignoring the gray tinge that had appeared on Remus' cheeks, "that's assuming he doesn't kill me before I get the chance to ask."

**A/N: I hope this chapter lived up to your standards, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it (which is probably why it got re-written at least 15 times - no exaggeration). The next chapter is in the process of being written, fingers crossed it will not take too long. Again, I apologize for the long wait, but you know how real life can be :) Also, reviews are chocolate for the writer's soul! :)**


	22. The Old Captain

**A/N: So in honor of the fact that the final Harry Potter movie will be premiering later this week (moment of silence) I really wanted to make sure this chapter was up for you guys. Also, since I won't actually be around on Thursday to post it, courtesy of seeing the premiere (happy dance) I decided to post it early (another happy dance, hopefully). :) This chapter is a bit shorter than some of the others, but I had fun writing it. Hopefully you will all enjoy it.**

**A side note, someone asked how much longer this story was. I've planned out the rest of the chapters and there should actually be about 10-11 more, I know you might be asking "how on earth could there be that much left" while I ask myself "how on earth can I write that much more" but that is the way the story fell. So I will be working diligently at finishing this story for all of you, as real life permits of course, but several of the other chapters are already partially written so that will help somewhat. I just ask you to be patient with me :)  
**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it as Harry Potter it is not mine, if you don't then it's mine.  
**

Chapter 21: The Old Captain

_ James could see the crew leaning on the rails and crouched on the steps, watching the captain and his protégé squaring off. At his back he could feel Sirius shift on the balls of his feet. The dark haired man's breath whistled in short spurts between his chapped lips, his dark eyes darting to the other crew members, trying to pick out one that might charge his friend. To James' left, Remus watched Jack who already had a hand on his weapon. A warning snarl had formed on the fair haired, and normally calm, man's lips._

_ The Captain toyed with the flask at his hip. "I've never had a man leave my ship, Potter."_

_ The threat hung between them. James lifted his chin, the stubble itched and the skin around his throat was peeling from the recent sunburn. Several of the pirates shifted forward, dogs waiting to be given the order to hunt. James saw Sirius grip the hilt of his sword, the muscles quivering as he fought to not draw his blade. _

_ "Sirius, Remus." James' voice was soft, hidden under the spray of the water as the ship drifted against the dock. They had talked until the wick had burned down in the lantern the night before. They'd prepared speeches for the captain, they'd prepared for an attack from the crew, they were prepared for someone to cheat, someone to move without the Captain's orders and end their escape before they could step off the ship. But James knew the Captain. Who had trained him? Who had he sat with for hours going over maps and charts? Who had sat with him under the stars, guiding the ship through the shoals?_

_ The Captain's eye narrowed slightly and James wondered not for the first time if the man could not read the thoughts flickering through his mind. "You'd leave me, Potter, eh? And go where?"_

_ James' heart throbbed and he felt Remus and Sirius move toward the loading plank. The pirates glanced toward the Captain, waiting for an order, but he did not give one. Sirius and Remus moved cautiously through the throng until they stepped over the railing and onto the plank. Sirius paused at the top, glancing over his shoulder at James who stood alone in the middle of the deck. He moved backward, but Remus caught him by the elbow and dragged him down the plank without a word._

_ "You're just going to leave…you've got gall, kid." There was almost pride in his voice, but it was burdened by vinegar. James saw the Captain's hand twitch toward the pistol in his belt and James turned his back._

_ "If you're going to leave, face me like a man, Potter." James heard metal rake against leather and stood still._

_ "We're leaving, Captain." And he moved, taking the same path Remus and Sirius had, careful to keep his back to the Captain. Because he knew, for all that he was a pirate, the Captain never shot a man in the back._

_ "Turn around and face me, Potter." James kept moving. "Just what are you going to do, eh? Settle down? Find a nice wench to have babies with and become a shopkeeper? You're blood is sea water, the breath you breath is ocean air. You can't survive on land."_

_ James paused at the top of the landing, swallowing hard. Expecting someone, Jack maybe, to take the shot the Captain would not take. His lungs ached from holding his breath. On the dock he could see Sirius and Remus waiting for him, Sirius was still straining against Remus, wanting to be at James' back rather than in a better position to escape in case something went array. _

_ "You're a pirate, Potter."_

_ James took a breath, filling his lungs with the ocean air for he hoped the last time. "Not anymore." _

_ "Potter!" The yell followed him down the board, to the dock and toward the town. "Potter!"_

"James."

James jolted back to the present, finding himself walking along a wide dirt road bordered on either side by small, mostly empty, buildings. Several of the buildings had caved in; others sported worn sidings and dim lanterns in the windows. Without glancing down he admonished the stubborn woman walking beside him.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to talk."

Silence greeted his reply, though he could imagine the heated glare Lily was sending his way. He didn't look down, refusing to allow her to bait him into an argument that could be overheard. Disguised though she might be, her voice was a clear indication of her sex and engaging her in a verbal spar in the middle of the street for anyone to overhear would have been dangerous. James' boots ground into the dirt as he paused at the stoop, eyeing the swinging lantern warily. The butter glow from the flame illuminated the name of the pub in the afternoon shadows. _The One-Eye Tavern_. James snorted, though the humor he felt was brief. He rubbed the heel of his hand against the handle of the sword at his hip, unmoving.

James felt loose fabric brush his forearm and he finally looked down. Lily's face was smudged with dirt and half covered by a scarf that rested on the bridge of her nose and under her ears. Her hair was tucked snugly under a cloth cap. James' gaze flickered over her form hidden with a loose shirt and breeches. To any wandering eye, she would appear as nothing so unusual as a young boy. And that was exactly how James wanted to keep it.

She was close enough that he could have slunk a hand around her for comfort, but he resisted the impulse. Instead, James flexed his fingers, his knuckles brushing against the outside of her wrist. Then, he climbed the stairs to the tavern, knowing she was on his heels.

The music and conversation didn't falter when the door opened, but more than a few curious glances twisted in their direction. James ignored them, moving between the tables and pirates to the bar. He leaned an elbow on the surface, keeping one shoulder toward the room. A buzz of voices started at the back few tables and James glanced over, catching a scarred face studying him with a sneer.

Lily leaned with her lower back pressed against the bar, her thumbs hooked in her belt. Her heel thumped against the bar, unheard over the voices. She felt James stiffen beside her then twist his head toward the bartender. She caught the sneer of the scarred man, but didn't turn away. She watched him lean in closer with his cronies, lips moving quickly. One of his table-mates grabbed the man's shoulder, shaking him once, but the glare didn't abate. Lily swallowed, unhooking one hand and resting it on the knife tucked against her back.

"Something to wet your throat?"

James saw Lily shift her stance, but didn't turn away from the bartender. He palmed a gold piece, flicking it toward the man. "Two. And then you can tell Moody an old friend wants to talk to him."

The bartender had placed one pint down, but his hand jerked at the last moment, sloshing rum down the clay side of the mug. Lily didn't look over at the mess and James only tilted his head.

"M-moody?" the bartender asked, his voice shaking. "N-no one here by that name…d-don't think…" His hand dropped below the bar.

James reached across, grabbing the front of the man's shirt and dragging him halfway over the bar. The gun he had reached for clattered to the floor and the mug tipped over, dribbling an amber waterfall over the edge of the bar. The rest of the pub stilled.

"Moody." James twisted the man's collar around his throat.

"Gone." The bartender dropped the stuttering in favor of gasping for a breath. James tightened his grip on the bartender's collar, smelling a lie.

"Look who it is lads, the infamous James Potter, returned to his brethren." An oily voice came from James back. James released his grip on the bartender, who crashed into the bottles lining the shelves behind him, then slipped to the floor. There was a scurry of movement and James turned to face the owner of the voice.

The man was older, and wore a few more scars on his face, but James remembered him. Jack's hair was blond and fell in oiled strands past his ears. His face was lean with a beaklike nose. He was no taller than James, with a tattoo that stretched up his hairy forearm and lips twisted in a permanent snarl.

James leaned his back against the bar, propping his elbows up on the edge and tilting his head slightly. An amused smile that did not reach his eyes formed on his lips. "Brethren...I don't recall being weaned with a pack of gutter rats."

A soft rumble traveled through the room. One of the pirates stood and disappeared behind a flap of black fabric. As the fabric fell into place, James caught sight of the beginnings of a staircase. His smirk widened and he shifted his gaze back to Jack.

Lily didn't watch Jack, but kept her focus on the four pirates that flanked him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw another pirate move towards them from the side. Lily shifted a hand on the bar and picked up the tipped over mug, holding it as though she were about to drink.

Jack's claw-like hands tightened into fists at his side. "Think you're better than us, Potter? Because you killed Riddle? From what I heard he had you, only you slipped away…like a cowardly cold fish.

James' eyes flashed but he didn't move. "You'd know all about cowardly cold fish, wouldn't you, _Jackie_?"

James took the first punch in his jaw. His head snapped sideways and he threw up his arms, using the momentum to grab onto Jack and drag him down to the floor. They rolled over one another, knocking one pirate's feet from under him before James pinned Jack to the floor and slammed his own punch into the pirate's face.

When James moved Lily turned, sending the remaining rum into the face of the pirate sneaking up on them, then kicked one of the stools into a pirate who was diving towards the tangled mass that was James and Jack. She made to move forward but felt a gnarled hand grab her shoulder and drag her onto the bar. She struggled against the awakened, and angered, bartender then swung the fist still holding the mug. It connected with the side of the bartender's head and his grip loosened. Lily twisted onto her stomach and swung the mug against, shattering it against the bartender's head. He dropped like a rock behind the bar just as a meaty hand grabbed her ankle and dragged her backwards. Lily fell against a splintering table and winced as pain shot through her side. Dazed, she glanced up at the man barreling toward her.

A set of hands dragged James off Jack, twisting his arms behind his back and holding him while Jack regained his feet and sent several punches into James face and then his gut. James grunted, looking up in time to see a pirate charging Lily who was half leaning against a table. Using the grip on his arms as leverage, James heaved his legs off the ground, kicking Jack in the face with enough force to break his nose and send him stumbling backward into the charging pirate.

Lily had just enough time to roll out of the way as Jack and the other pirate crashed into the table. She twisted around in time to see James head-butt the man holding him and rip himself from the suddenly loose grip. He caught her eye and gave her a wink just before Jack knocked him back to the ground. Lily rolled her eyes and then ducked as a pirate swung at her.

"Enough!" A rough voice carried over the rabble, freezing the blood of everyone in the room, including James and Lily. Several of the pirates looked away from the owner of the voice and Jack shoved James off of him with a growl that was masked somewhat by the blood dripping from his broken nose. James merely smiled an infuriatingly casual smile that made Lily want to both punch and kiss him.

From the staircase came an odd two-step sound of the soft leather sole of a boot and then the _thunk_ of wood. The pirates parted as the sound came closer and Lily found herself staring at a broad man with one wooden leg crafted in the shape of a shoe, scraggly hair and a scar running down his cheek.

"So," the man rested a hand on his belt, eying the men before him. "My long lost protégé has returned."

Lily stared as the man offered a hand to James, who grasped it before being pulled to his feet. Lily saw the man look past James and meet her eye, then wink. She fought the urge to flinch when she realized one of the man's eyes was glass.

Moody's gaze traveled around the room and the broken chairs and tables, before returning to James. "And what exactly was your plan here, Potter?"

"Disrupt the crew, get the captain's attention," James responded, ignoring Jack whose face was steadily turning redder. "You taught me that."

"I taught you a lot of things. None of which has seemed to keep you out of trouble, you insolent whelp," Moody responded almost with fondness. He looked now at the remains of his bloody crew.

"Mister Shacklebolt."

"Aye, Captain." A bored voice came from the corner where several men sat, having not left their card game to join the brawl.

"Can you tell me why it is that my crew has difficulty dealing with two wayward sailors?"

Shacklebolt dropped his cards on the table and leaned back in his chair. He was a tall, dark man with broad shoulders and single gold hoop that hung from his ear. "I could not, Captain," he replied with some amusement.

Moody looked at him. "And can you tell me why it is that you decided not to join?"

"I am no idiot, Captain." Now there was a full grin on Shacklebolt's face. "And Jack seemed to have things well in hand."

A murmured chuckle ran through the pub as Moody shifted his gaze to the bloodied Jack. "Aye, I can see that."

Jack glared at James, let out a strangled curse then shoved his way to the front door. When the door had slammed behind him, Moody released a sigh. "Shacklebolt, go make sure he doesn't do something stupid. You," He pointed at James, "come with me. The rest of you who dares still call yourselves pirates…clean this mess up!" Gesturing with one scarred hand, Moody led James toward the hidden staircase. Lily appeared at James' elbow and together they followed Moody behind the fabric and up a narrow and twisting staircase.

At the top of the staircase was an opened doorway that led into a small room. Lanterns hung from the ceiling, casting the room in alternating strips of light and shadow. There were a few bookcases on one wall and a large window that occupied another. The black curtains were pulled tight, blocking out any view from the street, not surprising James as he remembered how overly cautious his former captain could be. A large square table with a few crooked chairs sat in the middle of the room. A bottle of rum sat on the table top, swaying as Moody settled himself in one of the chairs.

"You can tell your lady friend it is now safe to remove her disguise."

James paused in his action of closing the door. Lily jumped, her fist clenching around the hilt of her dagger as Moody's gaze flickered towards her. James turned slowly, a neutral expression covering his face.

Moody snorted at him. "You don't think I can see though a disguise, boy?" The glass eye rolled around in its socket, making Lily feel a tad queasy. "You would have to be blind to not notice her, even wrapped in rags."

Lily shifted her gaze to James. What had happened to his worries, it was after all James' plan to bundle her up like contraband to avoid any extra danger. As if picking a fight in the middle of a pub was not going to provide enough danger, she thought angrily.

"It would seem the standards of your crew seem to have dropped since I left," James replied. Moody tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"Well, you took with you a certain flair that has been lacking recently."

A dry chuckle passed between James' split lip and he tilted his head toward Lily. Her glare still on James, she pulled the scarf from her face, letting it hang around her neck and tugged the cloth cap off her head. Her hair had been braided tight to the crown of her head to prevent any of it from coming free. Her disguise removed she turned and punched James' arm.

He winced, then winced again as the movement pulled at the cut above his eyebrow.

"Subtle, you said," Lily hissed at him, ignoring their audience. "You wanted to be subtle." She punched his arm again. "Starting a brawl is _not_ subtle." James caught her wrist before she could hit him again.

A throaty chuckle caused both of them to turn and look at Moody. He stroked the neck of the rum bottle and gave James a toothy smirk. "She is a spitfire."

James released Lily's arm, then nodded his head toward Moody. "Lily Evans, Alastor Moody…my former captain."

"Evans?" Moody straightened, his smile becoming warmer, or as warm as it could be surrounded by scars. "Duke Evans' daughter if I am not mistaken." Lily nodded and Moody settled back in his chair. "The Duke and I have quite a history." His tone was gleeful, like a child who had gotten away with stealing sweats.

"Don't all old men?" James commented sarcastically, earning a narrowed eye from Moody.  
"I doubt you traveled here, disturbed my pub, and antagonized my men to reminisce of old times." Moody slapped the table with the flat of his hand. "How about you sit down and tell me what it is that you want."

James studied Moody. A good several years older, missing a few more patches or skin, but he was the same Moody that James remembered. The former pirate felt his muscles tensing and his fingers twitched along the hilt of his sword.

"If I wanted to kill you, Potter," Moody's voice forced James' fingers to pause and his head to come up, "I would have done it by now."

As reassuring statements went, it was severely lacking. Nonetheless, James felt his muscles relax. A pirate he might be, but Moody was a man of honest words.

"I need you to help me find the location of Tom Riddle's coven."

Moody's eyebrows lifted. He took out a hip flask and took a generous gulp. "So the rumors are true…" James barely caught the rough murmur before Moody shoved the bottle of rum across the table. James caught it before it hit the floor and Moody gestured to the two empty seats. Lily took one and James followed her lead.

"Now," Moody wiped the back of his hand across his lips, then leaned his forearms on the edge of the table. "Tell me the tale, Potter."

* * *

"Well it seems you have managed to piss off the entire continent. At least you've accomplished something since you left my tutelage."

James leaned back in his chair, arms resting on his chest. The rum remained untouched in front of him, though Moody had continued to take a few gulps from his flask every few minutes.

Lily leaned her elbows on the edge of the table. "Are you going to help us or not?" She was sore, tired and thirsty, since Moody had nothing but rum and a bottle of brandy that smelled suspiciously like milkweed. The lanterns had burned down to stubs but still Moody had not pulled back the curtains or opened the windows.

Moody looked at her. "My dear you are a very direct woman, I can see how you've captivated this young scamp's interest."

Lily lifted an eyebrow, but her neck remained blush free at the comment as she stared down the pirate captain.

"Moody, what do you know about the coven?" James asked, attempting to curtail an argument.

Moody fingered the flask, but did not drink. "Riddle's coven was not especially well known…he wanted to make it seem that he could be anywhere and everywhere so it was not common knowledge that he had an armada. Everyone thought that he could travel on the winds between ships rather than through the waves, as if by magic. It aided in the fear. Those in charge now have no desire to be so discrete."

"I've noticed," James inserted blandly.

"I could send out some spies, see what they pick up, but that could take days, weeks even."

"Sirius doesn't have weeks, Moody," James bit out. "He could be dead now for all I know, I can't sit around and wait –"

"Your impatience will be both of your undoing then," Moody chastised him. "You'll do something without thinking and get yourself killed."

James dug into the pocket of his coat and slapped the map on the table. "This marks all of Riddle's ports for the past few years. Every time he docked his ship, I've mapped it out."

"And your conclusion?" Moody opened the map and eyed it.

"There are a few ports he docked more often, but we've been to those and the coven isn't there. I tried to find a pattern but –"

"You failed."

James bit his tongue to keep from cursing at the man across from him. Meanwhile, Moody looked up at Lily.

"My dear, would you give me a few moments alone with your captain." He didn't phrase it as a question, but Lily did not move. Instead, she looked up at James. He narrowed his eyes at Moody but spoke to her.

"Go ahead, Lily." Lily studied him and James released a rough sigh. "He's not going to kill me."

"Yet," Moody added nonchalantly. Both captain and redhead looked at him and Moody smiled to himself. "Go find Shacklebolt, he's probably back from fetching Jack. He'll know a bit more about the coven; I've been sending him out to keep an eye on things ever since I retired."

James snorted at the word, but held his piece as Lily finally stood, placed the cap on her head and replaced her scarf, not knowing what good it could do if she were meant to speak to this Shacklebolt. As she passed James she felt his fingertips reach out to brush the side of her hand, asking for forgiveness and reassurance at the same time. She held James' gaze for a moment, then disappeared out the door.

"Duke Evans' daughter," Moody mused in a tone that on anyone else might have been admiring. The captain's single eye slanted away from the closed door to James. "You've got gall, boy."

The corner of James' lips twitched. "To kidnap her or fall in love with her?" Moody's bad eye twisted in its socket but he did not reply.

He returned his attention to the map on the table. "So what are your options?"

James snorted. "If I had any other options do you think I would be here right now?"

Moody slammed his hand down on the table again, causing James to jump. "Constant vigilance. Did you think that if you killed Riddle all your problems would be over?"

"I didn't expect an entire coven to come after me, if that's what you're asking."

"That's no excuse. Always be prepared, isn't that what I taught you?"

"I must have missed that lesson in between stealing and murdering," James snarled.

Moody leaned back in his chair. The glass eye roamed but his real eye remained fixed on James. "You got lazy, complacent and your friend got taken."

James snatched the map from the table and began roughly folding it. "I didn't come here to get a lesson from you, Moody."

"What did you come here for, Potter?"

James paused in the act of stuffing the map in his coat. "Help," he admitted. "I came here for help."

Moody snorted. "No, you came here for answers. You expected if you asked I would know exactly where to point you and then you could sail out to the rescue and get yourself killed."

James cursed colorfully and finished stuffing the map into his pocket. He turned his back on Moody and stalked to the door.

"Find a pattern, give me something, and I'll help you," Moody called from the table.

"A fat lot of good you are, Moody," James grumbled, leaning his forehead against the doorframe.

"Don't blame me," Moody cackled. "If you had stayed, this wouldn't have happened."

James wrenched the door opened and slammed it behind him, cutting off Moody's chuckle. He stomped down the stairs, coming to a sharp halt when he saw Lily waiting halfway down. She was leaned against the wall, her head turned away from him.

He almost asked her why she hadn't continued down to the pub, but chose to hold his tongue. Instead he moved past her, feeling her fall into step behind him as he slapped away the black cloth.

Most of the debris had been moved away, leaving the pub a little barren despite there still being a good many pirates around. Jack was nowhere to be seen, nor were the other pirates who had backed him up. Behind the bar, toying with a mug, was the man Lily recognized as Shacklebolt. She nudged James and tilted her head toward the bar. James followed her gesture and made his way to the bar.

Shacklebolt looked up when they approached and a smile split his hard features. He reached over the bar and grasped James' forearm in greeting. "James Potter. It has been years, my friend."

James smiled, feeling some of the pressure in his chest ease at the smile from Moody's first mate. "Kingsley Shacklebolt," he introduced for Lily's benefit.

"L-"

"Leonard," James cut off quickly, throwing her a glance.

Shacklebolt looked between them, waiting for Lily's affirmative nod. Then he tilted his head in understanding. "Aye, with a name like Leonard I'd hide my face, too."

Lily looked sharply at James, who pressed his lips together to keep from laughing.

"You have not changed one bit, James." Shacklebolt leaned his forearms on the bar, not losing his easy smile. "Still bringing disaster in your wake," he laughed.

James looked down, not denying the truth.

"I don't think Jack will ever forgive you." There was warning laced in his words.

James ignored the warning, twisting to lean conspiratorially toward Shacklebolt. "Moody told us to talk to you about Riddle's coven. Said you would know more about it then he would."

Shacklebolt straightened, his smile falling abruptly from his face. "You're seeking out Riddle's coven? Why?"

"They have something that belongs to me," James replied shortly.

"Then get a replacement. Challenging Riddle's coven heads on is suicide, James." Shacklebolt waited for James to challenge him, but was met with determined silence. He released a sigh, "The coven was organized with Riddle, deliberate. Now they are…chaotic. Hounds without a master directing the hunt. They seek blood." Shacklebolt tilted his head. "From the whispers…your blood."

James bit the inside of his cheek until blood pooled under his tongue. He swallowed away the salty mucus. "And the other whispers?"

"They have spies of their own and the rumors overpower the truths. It is hard to find real information…I do not know where they are, I do not even know how many ships or men they have," He shrugged apologetically, then swallowed thickly. "But I have heard of the one who leads them…"

James' jaw clenched. Beside him he could feel Lily tense.

"The leader is crazy, they say. Searching for the head of the one who killed Riddle, searching for Riddle's treasure, seeking to make the oceans run red." Shacklebolt leaned over the bar, closer to the captain and redhead. "The whispers say the leader's weapon is stained with blood, that the screams of children cling to the heels and that even the coven fears the shifts in mood."

"Who is he?" James felt himself asking. His voice cracked and he swallowed hard, the blood roaring in his ears. "What's his name?"

Shacklebolt glanced at Lily for a moment, then at James with a sharp shake of his head.

"It is not a he."

* * *

Sirius jolted awake at the sound of a key grinding in the lock of the door. Before Dora had scrambled halfway across the room, the door slammed open, cracking against the wall. Sirius shoved himself to his feet, the shackles pinching the already raw skin as he did. The doorway was filled by Lestrange and two men whom Sirius remembered from his journey from the ship to cell.

Sirius leaned against the wall, the chain rattling as he did so. He tilted his head, the corner of his lips twisting upwards in a daring smirk. "I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me."

Lestrange snorted, coming forward until he was level with Sirius. The first mate could feel his muscles tense with the desire to reach forward and clip Lestrange in the jaw with a good punch. As much of a pleasure as it would be, it would be a short lived victory, Sirius knew.

"But I see," Sirius continued with a chirpy lilt to his voice, "that you simply could not bear to stay away."

The punch to his midsection, while not surprising, was so sudden that Sirius coughed and dropped to his knees from the impact. Lestrange braced a hand on the wall behind Sirius' head and kneed the crouched man in the jaw, sending him onto his side.

"If it were my choice, Black, I would kill you where you lie."

Sirius spat and pushed himself up to his knees. "Then why don't you?"

"Because it is not his decision," a coarse voice drifted from the corridor beyond the door.

The two pirates fell back along the side of the cell, blocking Dora from Sirius' view. Lestrange smirked, his chest puffing like a bird strutting during mating season as he backed away.

"Black, I don't believe you've met Bella...my wife."

From his hunched over position, Sirius watched the woman step through the doorway. Her black boots crushed the pellets of rock that littered the floor before she knelt in front of him. Icy, long fingers touched him under his chin, lifting his face until Sirius was looking into a bony face. Her dark eyes glinted and she tilted her head, the mass of black and gray curls bursting from her head like a thorned crown.

Sirius swallowed away the sudden bile that rose in his throat when she smiled; her too red lips pulling back from yellow teeth, looking more like a snarl than a smile.

"You and I are going to be good friends, aren't we, Sirius Black?" Bellatrix Lestrange crooned. Her fingernails dug into the soft skin exposed under his jaw and Sirius felt a thin trickle of blood trail lazily down his throat.


	23. Weakness of the Flesh

**A/N: Sorry for the late post, but I'm sure you know how school and real life can be. Thank you for everyone who is still with this story and still reviews and those of you who send me extra reviews reminding me to get off my butt and work on this story :) You guys are great motivators. **

**Disclaimer: My plot, JK's characters. I give my permission for this story to be on Fanfiction .net only. Please do not take any part/whole of this story in any capacity. Thank you.**

**Warning: Sirius gets whumped a bit...**

Chapter 22: Weakness of the Flesh

The wall digging into his shoulder-blades prevented any retreat, but the urge to shy away continued to thrum through Sirius' muscles. Sirius silently counted to three and took a breath as the woman – Lestrange's _wife_ – released her grip on his throat and trailed her nails up to his jaw. Sirius' eyes flickered to the smug Lestrange leaning near the door. Another three count and he released the breath while he twisted his lips into a smirk.

"How rude to wait so long to introduce me to your paramour," Sirius' eyes never traveled from the woman in front of him, though he directed his comment at Lestrange. "Now, tell me, did you marry below your station or did she have to scrap humanities scummy underside to find you?"

Lestrange surged forward, caught only but a quick movement from his wife who whipped around and grabbed the front of his shirt, holding him a foot away from the prisoner.

"Bella." Lestrange's whine sounded like a petulant child rather than the former count he claimed to be. He did not meet his wife's gaze but stared hungrily toward Sirius, who smirked while making his next silent three count.

"Do not let him goad you."

From the ground, Sirius tsked and both Lestranges eyed him. "Then again," Sirius shifted on the ground, giving the appearance of lounging against the wall. "It's fairly clear who orders whom."

Lestrange snarled, but Bella shoved her husband backward a step and turned to face the first mate. Her eyes were narrowed to slits. Sirius could see her hands twitching at her hips, around her shoulder he could see Dora's face pale as she pressed herself as far away from the Lestrange's as possible, yet she still stood with her shoulders braced.

"You talk too much, Sirius Black."

"Only when I'm bored." Sirius linked his shackled hands on his stomach. "I've been knocked out, stuffed in uncomfortable quarters, shackled, beaten and not to mention put up with the smell of a mere lackey." Lestrange bristled. "And so far one has told me why I'm here."

Bella snorted. "Are you that much of the fool that you do not know?"

Sirius felt his hackles rise but forced himself not to drop the smile that he had chiseled on his lips. "Are _you_ that much of a fool that _you_ don't know?"

Silence reigned in the small room. Bella stepped closer to Sirius, and the first mate forced himself to remain still. He refused to shift from the apparently comfortable position he had arranged himself in. Bella stared at him for a long moment before the smile from before slid across her features.

"Sirius Black. The first mate, the fool, the one most likely to get drunk and distracted by a lovely face. And loyal to a fault to James Potter, the murderer of my lord, Tom Riddle."

As she spoke Sirius felt his heart begin to throb in his chest. It slammed against his breast as if begging him to run, to do _something_ besides sit and wait for the final blow to fall. When it did, the throb stopped mid-beat. As if even his heart knew that any hope, any chance, had been snuffed out.

"I'm honored," Sirius muttered when he was sure his voice would not crack. "You'll forgive me if I don't remember when I was drunk enough to pass along that much information."

"All of my lord's _loyal_ followers were very attentive during briefings from your former crew member." Bella tilted her head like a cat observing a dying bird.

Sirius felt bile rise in his throat at the thought of Pettigrew. The name made him want to tear at someone or something, but at the same time the enormity of what she said fell upon his shoulders like a crushing wave. Pettigrew had not just told Riddle about James and the key, he had told him _everything_. Remus, the crew, the ship…Lily? Sirius felt stripped as Bella bent down to catch his eyes.

Sirius swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he forced his face to remain blank. _Count to three, breathe_, he reminded himself as his lungs burned.

"I take it you were one of the loyal ones."

"I was his most loyal."

"His most loyal follower..." Sirius mused, his gaze traveling heavenward as if deep in thought. "I guess Tom Riddle was as easily swayed by the human flesh as the rest of us."

The slap was not unexpected, though that didn't decrease the stinging pain that seemed to slice open Sirius' cheek as Bella struck him.

"You are not fit to even speak my lord's name."

Sirius spat on the ground before looking at the woman whose face had lost all color. "As one bastard to another, I'm sure I've earned the right."

There was a shout and Sirius blinked to find a dagger poised at his collarbone. Lestrange's hand was wrapped around Bella's forearm in a fierce grip.

"Bella, we need him. Remember?" Lestrange grunted, as though the effort to prevent his wife from driving the dagger through Sirius' chest was greater than it might seem. Bella's teeth were bared in a snarl and her eyes were too bright. Sirius fought the urge to swallow, remaining perfectly still.

"I remember," Bella whispered. The dagger dropped slightly, tracing a red line across Sirius' skin. His teeth ground together to keep back the hiss of pain. Then just as quickly Bella pulled back. She held the dagger out to Lestrange, who backed away after taking the dagger.

"You are very clever, Sirius Black."

Sirius used the wall to pull himself upright. The chains holding him to the wall prevented any free movement, but he stood at least a head over Bella and it soothed his heart just a little. His cheek still stung and he thought the bitter taste of blood still clung to his lips. Past Bella he could see Dora still present, forgotten by everyone but him, watching him with deadened eyes.

"I've heard it mentioned a time or two."

"By your captain, James Potter, no doubt," Bella said, whirling around. For the first time since she entered the room she seemed to notice Dora. The snarl on her face increased, making her appear like a rabid wolf. "What is _she_ doing down here?"

Lestrange stumbled over his words for a moment. His wife did not move her gaze from where it had locked with Dora's. Dora remained still, but her eyes were too bright in the shadows of the cell. Sirius looked between the two women and wondered for a moment at the thoughts that would be rushing through Dora's head. The former wench's hands were clenched into fists at her side; Bella's were claws resting near her hips, as if she were preparing for a threat.

"We had to keep her somewhere. You said you didn't want her running off."

"Where is she going to run to, you fool?"

"You said –"

"I know what I said!" Bella finally whirled upon her husband. "Get her out of here!"

One of the lackeys moved forward, but like before he did not touch Dora. Sirius waited for Dora to look at him once, to protest the need to stay, but her lips remained thin white lines and she walked out the door without a look over her shoulder.

The breath in his chest deflated and Sirius would have sagged into the wall if Bella had not turned back to him upon Dora's exit. "You will tell me where he is and what you were doing. His plans. Everything." Her breath was coming quickly as if she were trying to regain control.

_If they find out you know nothing, they will kill you._ That had been Dora's advice. _You have to let them think you know something._ Well how was he supposed to do that when really he knew nothing? And when they found out what they wanted…or when they got tired of him? He would be as good as dead anyway.

Sirius straightened from the wall. He just had to give James enough time. Enough time to find the trail and find him and Dora. Bella was watching him from across the cell and Sirius felt as if he was about to step into a duel where the only way to end it was with death. Sirius took a long breath. He didn't have to win; he just had to stall long enough for James to.

Sirius was silent and Bella's lips curled into a slight snarl. "You will tell me what you were doing on the island and where James Potter is. And then you will die."

"Doesn't give me much incentive to be agreeable."

"I do not believe I asked you to be." Bella looked over her shoulder at the open door. "McNair."

A body filled the doorway. He was at least a head taller than Sirius, broad shouldered with thick arms and legs. He was bald, dressed in black pants and vest. A large scar ran across his eye and nose to the opposite cheek, deep and dark red against his pale skin.

"Sirius Black, I would like you to meet McNair."

The man stepped directly behind Bella. She was watching Sirius, her face tilted like a cat observing light dancing on the wall. The feral snarl had dropped from her face and a playful smile at graced her lips. Sirius thought the smile looked far more unnerving.

"McNair likes to…play with our prisoners here in the cove." Sirius shifted on his feet, the chains rattled behind him, giving away his agitation. McNair walked around Bella and stepped closer to Sirius.

"He has been trained in all the techniques of torture. He knows just how much the body can take before it gives out…and how to bring you back again." The voice was like poisoned honey.

Sirius did not remove his gaze from McNair, who was only a foot away. The large pirate stopped, returning Sirius' gaze with one of indifference. Then his lip twitched and the corner lifted, making the scar twist as well. The combination was the image of a demon from the deepest pit of hell. Sirius' arms twitched in response, the chains clinking against his side.

"I am going to ask you a question and you will answer me."

Sirius shifted his gaze abruptly to Bella. "Like hell." He snapped without thinking.

A body slammed him into the wall, the breath rushing from his lungs. Suddenly the excess chain hanging from his wrist was around his throat, jerking his head backward and digging into his skin. Sirius gagged, clawing at the chains with the one hand that wasn't twisted near his shoulder. Black spots danced in front of his eyes and he could not separate the iron from his skin.

"McNair."

The chain's loosened and Sirius sagged to his knees, the chain slipping loosely from his neck. McNair still hovered over him but his hands were no longer clutching the chain around Sirius' neck. Sirius coughed and pulled the chain away from his neck until it slapped the stones of the floor like a church bell.

"I will ask you a question and you will respond. Or McNair will remove a body part."

Sirius didn't speak, he wasn't sure if he could if he wanted to. He didn't dare touch the skin of his throat, knowing it was probably torn and raw.

"Do you understand?"

He didn't speak.

"McNair."

A hand caught the chain again. Sirius threw his body backward, shoving his other hand in between the chain and his throat. The chain connected with his jaw, stunning him enough to go down on his side. In his moment of disorientation, the chain looped around his throat. Panicked, Sirius twisted on the ground.

"I understand…" It was a hiss as the chain constricted.

"What?" Bella asked sweetly.

"I understand!" he bellowed.

The chain dropped. Sirius rolled onto his hands and knees, wanting nothing more than to curl on the cool floor. He didn't lift his gaze to the woman standing before him, trying to catch his breath a second time.

"Who are you looking for?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not looking for anyone…"

"My men saw you on Looe Island, Black. You were looking for someone, asking questions. Who were you looking for with such intent?"

Sirius shook his head, as much to clear the haze that had settled in front of his eyes as to negate the question. "I told you…no one…"

"I do not take kindly to liars." Bella stepped closer to him. "McNair. Rip his arm off."

Before he could react, a large hand clamped on his shoulder, shoving him into the damp stone floor. Another hand latched onto his arm already strained by the chains. His face pressed into the coolness of the stone, but even the tingles it sent across his skin couldn't mask the fiery pain that laced his arm. He felt the muscles wail and Sirius clenched his teeth tighter.

"Who were you looking for?"

Sirius twisted his face, his forehead slipping in the straw. "No one…" the rumbled whispered was strained. The hand pulled further and Sirius' body arched against the second hand, attempting to close the distance. The hand shoved his chest into the floor hard enough to bruise and he felt tendrils of pain jump from his shoulder to his elbow.

"Who?"

He twisted and he felt something tear through his shoulder. White fire engulfed his arm and Sirius hissed through taunt lips.

"A whore!"

There was silence as the echo of his words hung in the cell. Sirius panted, his arm protesting to the movement of his heaving chest.

"Just…just a whore…"

The hand holding his arm didn't loosen its grip, but nor did it pull any further. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw black material shift on the stone as Bella knelt near him.

"A whore," a sneer colored her voice. "How typical."

Sirius swallowed. Let them think whatever they wanted. As long as they thought him easily swayed by the flesh they would never consider that he had been looking for a specific whore…or not really a whore at all.

"Now," Bella shifted closer, and a cold finger traced Sirius' jaw line. He didn't bother flinching away. "Where is James Potter?"

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes.

Shooting pain exploding from his shoulder as the hand sharply yanked the limb backwards had Sirius straining against the hand holding him down. A sharp cry caught halfway up his throat and he bit his tongue in the effort to keep it back. The pop that accompanied the pain echoed in his ears and only the throb that settled around his shoulder ensured him that the arm was still attached to his body.

A high-pitched choking noise broke from his lips as the hands grabbed him from the floor and shoved him flush against the wall. He arched his neck against the pain, the tendons in his throat jumping as he clamped his mouth shut again. The meaty hand of McNair was still tight around his shoulder, preventing any movement even if Sirius had considered it. Bella grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled his face down inches from her own.

"Where is James Potter?" she demanded a second time, eyes sparkling with madness.

Sirius eyed her through narrowed eyes; the haze of pain had traveled down to his fingertips. His head throbbed and his vision shifted. He licked his bloodied lips.

"Go to hell."

The sudden snarl on Bella's face was the only warning he received before something hard and metal clipped his head and he was falling into blessed darkness.

* * *

"Bellatrix Lestrange? Who is she? His sister?" Remus demanded as he paced the length of James' cabin.

James leaned with his lower back against the edge of his desk, ankles linked and arms crossed in front of his chest. He studied the toe of his boot, following the scuff marks with dull eyes.

"Wife actually."

Remus stopped midstep and stared at him. "_Wife_?"

James bobbed his head once. There was silence, followed quickly by the sound of boots hitting wood as Remus resumed his pacing.

"Just because Shacklebolt thinks she's leading them, doesn't mean Lestrange doesn't have his hands in it," Remus almost snarled.

"He cornered us in the pub. You were right, he knew exactly who I was," James mused aloud. "He probably went straight to her after..."

"I'll kill him." The comment was soft, but firm.

"Crouch knew how to find us," James continued as if Remus hadn't spoke. "He had a mission – he wanted the map to Riddle's treasure, he wanted revenge. And he said there were more coming. I'd lay good money on the fact that he was working under her orders."

"I'm going to find him…" Remus continued, turning on his heel and striding back across the room.

"She's coming after us…and getting closer each time. They knew who Sirius was when they took him from Looe Island…how can she find us but I can't pin her anywhere on the map?" James ran a hand through his hair. "She knows everything I'm going to do before I do it."

"And rip his bloody heart out," Remus growled, he stopped pacing and headed toward the door.

James straightened from the desk, jerked from his thoughts. "Remus…" He moved quickly across the room, catching Remus' elbow before the second-mate made it to the door. "Wait."

Remus' face was flushed. "For what? We know who we're after now. Shacklebolt has men in most of the ports, once they send word –"

"Riddle hid his coven for _years_, do you honestly think Shacklebolt is going to find them in a few _hours_?"

"Better than you've been doing with those spots on the map." At the flinch across James' face, Remus instantly regretted his words, but he tightened his lips against any apology.

James recovered quickly, "We don't know where they are, and if we go out there now we're going to be sitting ducks. I'm going to find a pattern, I'm going to find a heading and then we will go save Sirius and Dora."

Remus looked away. He wanted to believe the conviction in James' voice. The hope that rose up in his breast at James' promise was enough to choke him. But he quelled it, attempting to reign in the hot-headedness that had sent him toward the door in the first place. He had thought he had gotten it under control after Sirius…Remus swallowed hard.

"What do you expect me to do then?" His voice was low and quivering.

"Wait."

"Wait?" Remus pulled his arm free, the temper returning. "I've been waiting for six years, James. How much longer do you want me to wait?"

James swallowed. The pain in Remus' eyes kept him silent for a moment too long and Remus twisted away, slamming the door open as he retreated to the deck outside.

James followed Remus out of the cabin, catching the door with an outstretched arm. He watched the second mate stalk across the deck, past Liz and Lily, and disappear below deck. James ran an agitated hand through his hair, leaving the doorway until his feet brought him level with the two women. His eyes lingered on the door to the lower deck before he blew out a frustrated breath and turned.

"Anything you would like to add?" he half snapped, eying Liz warily.

The brunette pushed herself away from the mast, lifting her chin slightly. "Do you think Sirius is dead?"

James stared at her for a moment, then looked across his shoulder at the port. "Sirius is the most hard-headed person I know," he muttered. "If the only option were to die, he wouldn't, just to be obstinate."

When he looked back at Liz there was a familiar half smile on the corner of her lips. She gave him a small nod. "I don't think so either."

She moved away from them, following Remus' path below deck. James watched her until she disappeared then looked at Lily, who still leaned against the mast.

"I believe that was an apology," the red-head said, a smile on her own face.

James tilted his head. The woman who had walked away reminded him more of the friend they had spent time with at the inn. Despite the familiarity that was returning, there was still something different that remained. Not bad, but different. He looked toward Lily and his suspicion increased slightly at the amused look in her eye. He shook his head slightly in response. He didn't have time to try and riddle out what his love had said to Liz.

"Come on. Moody has decided he'd rather this be another lesson for me rather than doing something out of the goodness of his wrinkled old heart for once. Lives on the line, but no it's an opportune teaching moment…"

Lily bit her lip as she followed him, wondering why with those lives at stake, could she possibly have the urge to laugh in that moment.

* * *

Soft fingertips brushed lightly against Sirius' jaw, drawing him gently back to consciousness. The fingers travelled over his jaw, dropping toward his throat. Sudden clarity of where he was, combined with the sting of the fingers over the raw skin on his throat, made Sirius jerk away from the touch. The movement jarred his arm and sharp pain radiated down his limb. He yelped with pain, eyes pinching closed.

The fingers turned into a hand, touching his cheek. Sirius leaned into the warmth and softness of the palm. The claws that had slapped him earlier were not soft like that, they were cold not warm and comforting. Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking at Dora crouched in front of him.

He looked over her shoulder, taking in the now empty cell and closed door. He shifted against the wall, wincing as his arm was jostled. His left hand crept across his body and hugged his elbow to his ribs.

Dora watched the careful movement, and then shifted forward on her knees. Moving slowly she placed a hand on his shoulder. Sirius sucked in a breath, and she adjusted her other hand over his bicep. She met his gaze steadily.

"This is going to hurt."

Sirius grunted. His hand dropped into his lip and he braced his body. The muscles under Dora's palm tensed.

"One…two…" Their eyes remained locked. "Three…"

Sirius waited a beat, then looked sideways at Dora when she didn't move. His muscles relaxed and Dora shoved his shoulder backward while pulling on his forearm. Sirius pitched forward, a deep moan filling the cell. The pain ebbed into bearable discomfort and he slumped back against the wall.

"…thanks…" His eyes fluttered briefly.

A damp cloth was pressed against his hairline as he fought to keep his eyes open. Dora combed his hair away from the cut on his brow. It was safe, for now. But all he wanted to do was retreat back to the safe, painless darkness for whatever time they let him.

He opened his eyes, studying her face. Her brow was furrowed, eyes drifting from the blood on his head to his sore shoulder and back to his face. Sirius swallowed, trying to alleviate the dryness in his throat. "They left you here…with me…"

Dora nodded, lifting the cloth away from his head once. "They don't want you dead yet."

Sirius snorted, blinking slowly. He settled more heavily against, trying not to wince. "Thoughtful of them."

Dora replaced the cloth. The coolness stung the open cut. He reached up and caught Dora's wrist with his hand and pulled the hand away from his face. She let him push her hand toward her and then release his grip.

"How long?"

Dora toyed with the bloody cloth, looking away. She dropped the cloth in the bowl sitting nearby, the water sloshing over the rim.

"Dora…" Sirius pressed softly.

"Soon."

Sirius settled back, tilting his head against the cool stone.

* * *

A knock on the door of the cabin, had Remus swinging his feet over the edge of his bunk. He didn't speak, but stared at the closed door with a frown twisting his lips. There was another knock on the door and this time it opened without waiting.

Liz stepped through the cracked door and leaned against it, closing it with her back. She studied the dark smudges under Remus' eyes and the hair stuck at odd angles from agitated hands running through the locks. Remus rested his elbows on his knees, playing with something with his fingers.

Without waiting for permission, Liz crossed the floor, gaze pausing on the empty hammock hanging from the ceiling. She sat down at Remus' side, her shoulder brushing against his. Remus didn't speak, didn't lift his eyes from where they had fallen to his clenched hands. Liz looked across his arm at the necklace being stroked by the pad of Remus' thumb.

"There are moments when I forget…" Remus' voice was soft. "Moments when I forget what her she looked like, how she sounded, what it felt like with her…moments when the pain disappears." Liz looked over at him, but held her tongue.

"But then there are moments, when I only remember. When the memory of her laugh, her frown, the scar on her elbow, the twist of her brow when she was confused, when all of it suffocates me. And I almost prefer the pain, because at least it means I'm not forgetting…" Remus reached for his hair, but instead let his forehead rest in his palm.

Liz almost expected the shoulder resting against hers to shake with silent sobs, but it did not. She looked sideways and saw Remus' face was dry, his eyes overly bright as they stared at the one relic left from what seemed like a lifetime ago. Liz swallowed, trying to find some words that would sooth the wounds that were still too raw.

Across the room, the hammock swung to the motion of the boat, the blanket that hung from the edge was long cold. The extra pair of breeches balled into a pillow was wrinkled beyond recognition. From under the breeches, an empty bottle peaked out.

* * *

Silence. The only thing Sirius was aware of was the heavy silence. His mouth was clenched, his eyes closed as he was surrounded by the empty silence. He twisted his head but the pressure on the back of his neck kept him trapped in the silence. The pressure pulled him backward and as he broke the surface of the water, sound roared into his ears.

Sirius gasped, trying to blink water out of his eyes as his upper body hung over the edge of the barrel of water. Across the room, Bella leaned against the inside wall. One might have thought she were calm, but through the droplets hanging on his eyelashes Sirius could see her fingers twitching and her head tilting one way then another in agitation.

"You try my patience, Black."

Sirius shook his head, wet strips of hair sticking to his cheeks. "Perhaps….if you…rephrase….your question…" He replied hoarsely.

Bella flicked her fingers and the hands on Sirius' neck shoved him into the water again. The air whooshed from his lungs, sending bubbles past his face. Water filled his nose and mouth just before he was jerked back to the surface. He gagged and coughed. Only the grip on the back of his collar kept him from slumping to the ground.

The pirate mistress had moved from the wall, leisurely circling the barrel, Sirius and McNair who held him. "You are a foolish man, Black."

His hands were bound at an odd angle behind his back, pulling at the still painful shoulder. His shift and breeches were soaked from the sloshing water and his throat felt raw from coughing up water. The surface of the water finally settled and Sirius stared at his reflection in the shallow tub.

"Honor. Friendship. Loyalty. Weaknesses." Bella spat, pausing over his shoulder.

Sirius ignored the edge of her dress that tickled his forearm. He took as deep a breath as he dared, then released it slowly.

"What on earth would your mother have to say, I wonder."

Sirius snorted bitterly. "I don't have a mother." The fingers on the back of his neck tightened into the bruises already forming and he winced.

Bella had moved away from the barrel, but she paused and turned back to stare at him. A wave of her hand and the pressure on the back of Sirius' neck released and he leaned heavily on the edge of the barrel. McNair did not move from where he loomed behind Sirius.

"Everyone has a mother. Even I had the unfortunate relation for many years."

Sirius looked through damp hanging bangs at the woman before him. Bella stared at him for a moment, a thoughtful expression settling across her features.

"Who was your mother, Sirius Black?"

He stared at her for a long moment, but even when the silence fell heavy on those remaining in the room, Bella did not motion for McNair to punish him. Instead she waited, cold eyes riveted on his face.

"No one," the response came too easily to his lips. "She was no one."

"Except your mother," Bella pointed out. Her voice had dropped the earlier sneer, the snarl gone from her lips. The lack of aggression made the hairs on Sirius' neck stand on end and he glanced back down at his reflection.

"Hardly that." Only the Lord knew why he answered the question, only He knew why after two decades of never speaking of the woman who'd left him on the steps of an orphanage, Sirius decided to acknowledge her now. He didn't even remember her face, her touch, nothing about her except the cold absence when she had gone.

Bella seemed satisfied. She turned away, crossing her arms and staring at through the barred window of the cell.

"My mother was a dreamer. She had three daughters, all of us beautiful." Bella toyed with the edge of her dark hair. Sirius held his tongue, waiting. "At night she would tuck us into bed and tells us how we were all going to become countesses, duchesses, queens. We would have money, jewels,_ power_." Her eyes were overly bright. Sirius shifted on his knees, the straw hissing from the movement, and her eyes snapped back to his face.

"Then she would go into the city, into the beds of the counts and dukes and _scum_. And she would dream that her pretty little bastard daughters were royalty." She spoke matter-of-factly, no sneer or inflection marring her voice. She walked over to the barrel and knelt over the rim, bringing her face near to his.

"Perhaps, we have something in common, Sirius Black."

The nausea filled him and he wanted to recoil. A stray drop of water traveled down his cheek, cold against the sudden flush of his cheeks. He forced his heartbeat to steady in his chest. He needed to say something, anything to separate them. To stop the calm look on her face that was far more dangerous than her madness.

"Maybe," his voice was soft, "we have more in common with our mothers than each other."

Bella jerked her head backward as if slapped. A flush rose on her cheeks. "I'm _nothing_ like her. She was weak."

Sirius looked down at the murky reflection, his lip quirked in a cold half-smile. "Maybe." He took a long deep breath, concentrating on the pain of the barrel's edge digging into his chest. "We children learned our lessons well…for I'm a no one held in a cell and you're the most powerful female pirate on the seas." He raised his eyes to Bella. Her nostrils had flared, the breath coming quickly between clenched teeth, waiting for the end to his statement. "Money, jewels, power, all sucked from the bed of wealthy scum…how proud your mother would be."

Her hand flew towards him, grabbed a handful of his hair and tilting his head back until his throat was bared. She looked for a moment as if she was going to speak, but instead she shoved him face first into the water.

Water filled his nostrils and eyes, the water moving slowly around him. The hand on his head held him down, so that he felt the wooden bottom scrap the edge of his cheek. And still the wet blackness surrounded him until his lungs burned and white spots danced before his eyes. Sirius opened his mouth and screamed into the silence…

* * *

James jolted awake. Sheets stuck to his sweat drenched and heaving chest. With excruciating slowness, his breathing returned to normal, but the steady chill that had crept up his spine did not go away. Not as the memory of the nightmares still lingered fresh in his mind, clinging to him like a sickness that had been reawakened.

**Thoughts? As I've said before, reviews are great motivators. They also brighten up my day during this time of papers, exams and stress. So please review and let me know what you think! **


	24. Guilt of My Brother

**A****/N: There are moments when stories just come together (I love these moments, they just never seem to come until the last minute). This chapter was one of those rare moments, at least in the writing process, so I wanted to get this to you all as quick as I could to insure I didn't go back and mess it up ;) I'm surprisingly happy with this chapter, especially considering how rocky it initially started. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer****:All I own is the misery I'm putting these characters through.**

* * *

Chapter 23: Guilt of My Brother

James' feet shifted on the floor as he parried Remus' blade, then turned to swing his blade toward his opponent's open shoulder. Remus leaned out of the way, and James was forced to swing his sword up to catch Remus' next attack. Shoulder to shoulder, they stood until they shoved the other back and simultaneously stumbled across the room.

Chest heaving, James dropped his guard and straightened. "Enough." His muscles shook, even as he stood still. His shirt stuck to his skin like wet strips of parchment, translucent in the dim light.

Remus remained at the ready, sword angled in front of him. He shook his head. "Again."

James refused to drop into a fighter's crouch. The adrenaline had calmed and left behind a body with too few hours of sleep, not enough meals, and raw exhaustion. James waved his free hand toward the dimly lit window. "Remus, we have been at this for hours. The sun is setting-"

Remus shook his head again. "No. Again." He lunged forward.

The sword shook in James' grip as he brought his weapon across his body to block the sword coming for his chest. The separate strikes of sword against sword blended into one another as he flicked Remus' blade away with a labored grunt. James staggered sideways as Remus swung around, coming for him a second time.

"Remus," James growled. The blades crossed between their two bodies, two sets of forearms quivering under the strain. Remus threw his full weight behind the blade and James faltered back a step, the opposing blade sliding down his own dangerously close to his fist.

But Remus did not seem to hear the grunted order, for he shoved harder against the struggling body of his captain, a snarl on his own lips. James' foot slipped, and he twisted his shoulder, sending the second mate rolling across the floor, sword clattering out of his grip.

James stumbled backward. His chest heaved and he stared at Remus on his knees. "Enough."

He could not see Remus' face, but his friend's shoulders had slumped in defeat. James let his arm drop to his side and moved past his fallen friend toward the door.

"No."

James paused at the whisper. He turned a moment before Remus' hand clenched around the hilt of his fallen blade.

"No!" It was a roar that brought Remus to his feet, lunging toward James.

James gave ground until he was almost pressed against the wall of his cabin. His back hit the shelves and several books came free from their perches, but James did not spare them a glance. He parried, barely keeping Remus' blade from his body. The hilt grew slick in his palm and each block grew slower. Remus' ferocious strikes grew closer, toppling several parchments over James' shoulder.

Diving to the side, James rolled into his desk, knocking his forehead against the edge. His vision grayed, but instinct had him scrambling backward from the body that came for him. With a hand on the desk, James dragged himself to his feet, putting the desk between him and Remus.

A snarl marred Remus' features and his eyes had darkened from their usual amber to almost black. They were bright under the shadows cast across Remus' face. Despite this, the eyes were cold and unfocused as if Remus was not really seeing James at all. James frowned across the journals, papers and leftover drink at his comrade, trying to catch his breath.

Before James could speak, Remus came for him, lunging over the desk with his sword poised at James' chest. James angled his sword to block the attack, but his body did not obey fast enough. He grunted when the sword tore the flesh under his arm. James stumbled back, bumping into the edge of the desk.

The cut was not deep, but it stung and he could already see the red dying his shirt sleeve. James' eyes narrowed and pain shoved him past the stage of patience. He caught Remus' next attack and began his own advance, causing the second mate to retreat. Remus took several stumbled steps backward and James saw his eyes widen, the whites softening the intense drive that had propelled him. Remus swung wildly and James ducked a thrust and lunged forward. Remus stumbled back and James saw the fear register in his saddened slacked features. The captain ignored it, not allowing Remus to regain his footing fully. James came for his friend, driving left and waiting for Remus to block his strike. When he did, James swung his sword in a high arch away from them both, freeing Remus' body to an attack.

James' fist connected with the side of Remus' face, snapping his head sideways. Following through with the swing, James tore Remus' blade from his stunned grip. He sent the sole of his boot into Remus' stomach, shoving the second mate into the bookshelves with a crash. Books fell around Remus, who slumped heavily on the ground.

"What the hell was that?" James demanded.

Remus shook his head, like he was attempting to shake off dirt or water. He groaned and touched his bruised jaw with a trembling hand.

"You'll live."

Remus blinked, trying to pair the sharp words with the familiar voice. When his vision cleared, he looked up to see James standing with two swords poised at his chest. Remus' face cleared for a moment, and then he saw the red on the sleeve. His eyes widened, following a drop of blood that clung to the sliced fabric. Remus' lips parted, but no sound emerged. The pulse on his neck danced wildly and Remus pushed his bangs from his face.

"I…" What had he almost done? Nausea rose in his stomach and Remus made a scrambling motion. He froze when the prick of cold steel teased the opening of his shirt.

"Sit." James' voice was taunt, like a line that had been strained for too long and threatening to snap. "What happened?"

He tried to remember. Adrenaline had fueled his movements, the blood roaring in his ears, the frustration each time James evaded his attacks, and the fear slowly started to take over the common sense. To the point that when he'd lunged, he was no longer seeing James face and was no longer in the captain's cabin at all.

"Lestrange…I thought you were Lestrange." The voice was barely a whisper, but James heard it steadily through the darkening cabin. Remus swallowed thickly, trying to force the bile down. How could he have thought that…how could it have gone so far….The red on James shirt was almost too bright and Remus shut his eyes. "I almost _killed _you."

The moment he uttered the words the shame took over and he could no longer control the rolling of his stomach. Remus stumbled up and sagged out the small window, retching loudly.

James watched him. The pain in his arm was becoming more than a minor irritant, but he refused to bow out yet. "Don't get too confident," his voice was strained, "I've still got a few tricks to stay alive."

"It's not funny," Remus gasped, barely holding himself up on the window ledge.

"I'm not laughing."

"Last time..." His breath fogged the window and then disappeared with his next inhale. Remus watched the magic display for a moment before continuing. "I trained James. You taught me, on Moody's ship."

James remembered. Moody had taught him the art of swordplay, the tricks and cheats to keep himself alive. In turn, he stole weapons and taught his friends to ensure their survival on the ship. After awhile, all three had a place on the ship. If Moody had ever realized what he had done, and James couldn't imagine the old captain _not_ knowing, he did not question it.

"You taught me how to fight. And still we were caught without weapons, without the ability to stop them."

"We were boys," James said. "What did we know of the ways of fighting men?"

Remus didn't look at him. "We'd killed men, women…children." James flinched. "What didn't we know of the ways of fighting men?" When he didn't receive a response, Remus shook his head, throat tight. "Not enough, I guess."

James threw both swords with a clatter onto the desk. They sent several journals flying off the edge and broke an empty bottle. Shards of glass scattered across the desk and Remus jumped, staring at the other man.

"You failed. Six years ago." The words felt like salt rubbed on a wound and Remus hissed softly. "We all failed. And then we stole and ship and we got better." James moved around the desk, eyes bright.

"What if it's not good enough?" Remus demanded, straightening. His head swam and he threw out a hand to steady himself on the window.

The only sound in the room was the sizzling cough of the wick on the lantern James had lit before their spar. James turned away from Remus, running a hand through his hair and making the sweaty strands stand up like porcupine quills.

"So you thought if you trained until you were almost broken you would be strong enough?" James asked. His hands were on his hips and his head bowed to stare at the floor. Silence greeted his words. "Was that your masterful plan, Remus? Push yourself until there was nowhere else to go and then you'd be ready?"

James turned back, striking the desk with his fist hard enough to send a tingling through his fingers. Remus jumped, staring numbly back at him.

"How's that going to help Dora?"

"I have to be strong enough." Remus muttered, resting his cheek against the window. The coolness of the glance was a welcomed relief against the flush of his cheek.

"You're scared."

Remus exploded. "Of course I'm scared! I've _terrified_! I was supposed to protect her, James. I promised her I would protect her and I couldn't." Remus shoved himself from the wall and dug his palm into his eyes, causing black dots to dance in his vision.

"I see it, every night playing over and over. I watch it and do _nothing_. I was a coward. I hear her cry and stood there and couldn't…" Remus sucked in a breath, falling back into the window frame. "I can't watch it any longer James, I'll go mad."

James thought back to a few moments earlier when Remus had come for him lost in the memory and exhaustion. He had thought he was the enemy and had nearly…James touched the edge of his sliced sleeve. I'll go mad, Remus had said. Perhaps he already had.

When James looked up, he saw Remus watching him with wet eyes and knew he was wondering the same thing. What was he supposed to say to that, James wondered. James twisted his face away to look at the map spread over his desk.

"I once walked into a pub and backed down from Tom Riddle. He'd killed one of my men and I let him get away with it," James said. Remus raised his head and looked at him. "I never felt weaker, more like a coward than I did then."

James raised his head, catching Remus' eyes and holding them. "A friend told me I wasn't a coward. What could I have done against thirty men better equipped and more bloodthirsty than me? I walked away and kept the rest of my crew safe. And the next time I met him," James stepped close to the second mate, "the next time I met Riddle I didn't turn my back to him. I didn't let him get away with _anything_."

Remus flinched, his hands curling into fists around the edge of the window. The whisper hung in the air between them, falling on his shoulders and resting like a wool mantle in the blistering heat of summer.

James waited until the throb in his arm overpowered the words he was trying to find. He released a heavy breath. He turned his back to the figure at the window and exited the cabin. James didn't bother appointing someone to keep an eye on the ship's affairs. He strode past Lily who stood on the deck without a word, descending the dock and losing himself in the crowd.

Inside the cabin, Remus slide down the wall and huddled under the open window. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, wishing he had something to drink to erase the vile taste on his tongue. His other hand traveled across his face and came back wet with warm tears that had stuck to his cheeks.

Remus stared at his wet palm. The damp skin glistened in the orange glow from the lantern and he closed his eyes.

For six years, Lestrange's voice mocked him. It overpowered Dora's warm whispers of love, Sirius' laugh, and James' sarcastic droll. Remus clenched his hand in a fist and pressed it to his forehead. He let the mocking yells, the physical injuries, the absence of Dora in his arms run its course in his mind.

And then he heard it, faint at first under the memory of failure, but steadily louder until it overpowered everything else. A soft, warm voice that was unmistakably, blessedly Dora.

* * *

Dora pressed a cool cloth against the lacerations across Sirius' ribs. Beneath her palm the skin flinched, but Sirius was too exhausted to even expel a hiss of discomfort. He was slumped against the wall, chin rested on his chest and a rattling breath served as her only indication that he was alive. His hair was matted against his face in a combination of sweat and grime.

Dora pulled the bloody cloth from Sirius' side. He had curled away from her slightly, his other wounded ribs just out of reach. "Sirius," she coaxed, soaking the cloth in bitter liquid. She called to him again, touching his side with gentle fingers.

"'M awake," he mumbled. His body shifted, revealing the cuts along his other side.

She had never minded silence before. It had been a relief in her years with the coven. Silence meant she was away from the crude, threatening men. Silence meant Bella wasn't hissing threats under her breath or that Riddle was far away. Now, silence meant pain – Sirius's – and the slow dying of the hope he had spoken of at first. Dora finished cleaning the other side, careful to not drag the cloth across the cuts.

"…tired…" The voice was soft and slightly slurred. Dora shifted to wipe away the blood from his cheek. His eyes were open now, studying her face. Every once in awhile they followed the motion of her hand, but then traveled back to her face.

"I know," she said. Sirius blinked slowly, releasing a raspy breath.

His mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton, and every time he tried to take a breath it hurt. Though whether that was from his bruised ribs, the torn skin or his exhausted lungs, Sirius didn't know or particularly care. The only thing he could concentrate on was the pain, stinging on the surface and throbbing within. He looked at his arm that was hooked against his side; it was bruised purple and black. Sirius would not have been surprised if the damage was worse under the skin. The skin on his neck was still tender from where McNair had almost strangled him with his own chain, but at least it didn't burn any longer. Sirius breathed slowly through his nose and spat on the floor. If he got out of these chains, the first one he was going after was McNair. Then Bella.

Sirius blinked. _If_? When had _when_ become _if_? Sirius struggled to sit straighter, wincing as his body protested the motion. He finally slumped lower on the wall, breathing heavy. Sirius wondered for a moment if he had passed out again since the next thing he noticed was a cool pressure against a cut on his cheek. He followed the restraining hand that rested on his shoulder to the arm and then face of Dora.

She brushed a dirty bang from away from his cheek. A muscle jumped in his face at the touch. The gesture was so familiar, but the memory lingered just out of reach. He blinked as the face in front of him blurred.

Slowly, as if moving through molasses, Sirius lifted a limp arm and caught the end of Dora's short hair between his fingers. It was not soft or light, but Sirius frowned and rubbed the hair between his fingers with unusual concentration. Dora sat back on her bent legs and waited.

"Brown," he finally muttered. Dora lifted an eyebrow. The corner of Sirius' lip twisted upward, his eyes focused on the ends of her hair. "I like brown better."

Dora touched Sirius' fingers and he jumped, startled eyes roving from her hair to her face. He tugged his hand from her loose grip and dropped it in his lap. A frown wrinkled his brow as he dropped his gaze to the floor between them.

"Brown," he repeated, not looking up. He wet his lips, wrinkling his nose at the copper taste of blood that lingered on his lips. With his unbruised hand, he tried to wipe away the blood that had caked from him biting his lips hours earlier.

When he lifted his eyes again, it was to watch Dora dip the cloth into the basin near her knees. She rinsed the now red cloth back to unblemished white, then set it aside before turning back to him. The worry was written in the wrinkles across her face, and Sirius wanted to tell her that it was nothing. That they only had to hold out for a little while longer and James would come. But his throat hurt so much and his vision was still spotty so he simply stared back at her.

Dora reached forward and placed the back of her hand against his cheek, then moved it to his forehead. He had gone weeks without contact of any kind from Remus, James, Lily…Liz. Anger and frustration had kept him at arm's length from everyone. Now he had been manhandled by Lestrange's coven and he felt dirty. The feather brushing of Dora's hand sent the nerves that were trembling in his chest into a frenzy. Turning his face, he dislodged what had been a healer's touch.

A wince darted across Dora's features as she dropped her hand heavily into her lap. Her eyes darkened and her bottom lip disappeared under her teeth as if the pain there would ward away whatever ache his rejection had created in her chest.

Sirius froze. He knew that look. A year ago…had it really been almost a year since he'd tossed off another's touch as unthinkingly as he'd just shied away from the one other person who was the most starved for human contact?

One year, Sirius realized. And those three damned words haunted him even here…

"_I love you."_

_Sirius tensed. His eyes had been closed, but at Liz's declaration they opened to find her face hovering over his. It might have been better if he had kept them closed. Then, at least, he could have entertained the idea that it was all a dream. A bad, humorless dream._

_ Instead, he stared mutely up at her. Her mussed brown curls framed her flushed face, blue eyes bright even in the dim light the lanterns offered. She was resting her hand against his bare chest. With each heartbeat, Sirius could feel her palm twitch on his skin. She was beautiful in the soft light; Sirius would go to his grave acknowledging how enchanting Liz could look. And yet, in the same breath, he would deny the three words she spoke._

_ "What?" _

_Liz bit her lip. She shifted closer to him, and Sirius could feel her own heart beat against his ribs. For a moment, Sirius could only hear the crackle of the fire eating at the wick of the candle on the dresser and the rushing of the blood in his head. The moment stretched longer and Sirius wondered if maybe the phrase would be forgotten._

_She reached a hand up and brushed the back of her fingers softly against his cheek. "I love you."_

_Sirius sat up abruptly, dislodging Liz from her perch so she was forced to sit up and pull the sheet around her. Sirius stared down at her. Though her hand was no longer against his cheek, his skin felt like it was on fire where she had rested only a moment before._

_Sirius' eyes traveled toward the door, before returning to her face. Sirius swallowed and he imagined he could taste the rum that they'd had only an hour ago lingering on his tongue. He swallowed again._

_Across from him, Liz took a breath, and then reached out a hand to touch his. The muscles were taunt under her caress, but Sirius felt the tendons relax as her fingers made circles over his knuckles._

"_It wouldn't be so bad, would it?" she whispered, watching his face closely. "Me loving you?"_

_He stared at her fingers on his hand. He could pull her over, kiss her and make her forget what she was saying. He could remind her of what they were doing…and what were they doing? Sirius ran his free hand through his hair and looked at the door again._

_No, he thought, it wouldn't be so bad. Except when you stopped, then it would hurt. Then it would burn and fester like a wound that never healed, not even two decades later. Not even when his real family, his brothers, drew him in when she left him on the stony steps with those three whispered words. No, it wouldn't be so bad to be loved, it was when the loving stopped that Sirius wouldn't allow._

_ "You don't." It was muttered, but he knew she heard him by how her fingers stilled on his hand. But if she didn't actually love him then she couldn't stop loving him and she couldn't leave him. "You're mistaken."_

"_Mistaken?" Her voice was strained now, the calmness dissolving. Her hand had grown as tense as his._

_He looked at her now, watching as Liz's face drained of color, leaving twin patches of pink on her cheeks. _

"_I am not mistaken." The volume rose, and her mouth was turned down in a frown, one he recognized from the scores of times he had argued with her. _

"_You are. How else could you have possibly convinced yourself that you are in _love_ with me?"_

_Liz pulled her hand away. Sirius did not dwell on how its absence left his skin cooler than normal, instead he moved from the bed and picked his breeches up from the floor. He turned his back to her, trying to pull on his breeches and locate his shirt at the same time._

"_I just told you I'm in love with you and you…dismiss it like I've given you the wrong shirt!" _

"_We had a deal. No love, no pain, just each other, just while we are here. That's it. Remember?" Sirius pulled on his boots, forgoing socks since he couldn't find them in the disheveled clothing on the floor._

"_I remember." The sneer was unmistakable. _

"_Love is not and never was part of that deal." Sirius continued ignoring her reply. He kept his back to her as he tried to untangle his shirt from hers._

"_Look at me, Sirius." He finally tugged the shirt free. "Look at me!" She grabbed his arm, digging in with her nails and pulling him to face her. Sirius stumbled and his chest bumped into hers. He looked down at Liz who was still wrapped in the blanket._

_Sirius' Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. He forced himself away from the inviting heat of another human being. "We had a deal," he repeated. "Why would you ruin that?"_

"_Ruin?" It was a hiss. "Ruin what, Sirius? Ruin a few nights a year together? Ruin waking up in a cold bed while you are keeping someone else's warm? Ruin knowing you will never choose to stay here? I couldn't possibly _ruin_ that, Sirius!"_

"_We were happy." He shoved her shirt into her arms._

"_Happy?" For the first time it was Liz who pulled away from him, throwing the shirt back on the floor. "Happy? You think I'm happy? I could not be more miserable if your ship was to go down in a storm. At least then I would know for certain that you were never coming back, rather than just…guessing." She hissed, turning her back and scooping up her robe from the edge of the bed._

"_What do you mean guessing?" Sirius demanded. "A deal is a deal. I come back. Every month I make James bring us back here-"_

"_A chore for you I'm sure." Liz tightened her robe. She stalked past him to the bedroom door, flinging it open a disappearing down the hallway._

_Sirius stood stunned for a few moments in her room. The wick hissed at him in the empty room. His heartbeat stuttered; he would be damned if he was the one to be left this time. This time if anyone was going to be doing the leaving, the walking away and never returning, it was going to be him. He snatched up his scabbard and followed Liz through the shadowed hallway. By the time he caught up with her, she was in the front room of the inn._

"_You're acting completely ridiculous." _

"_I'm acting ridiculous?" She whirled around in time to see him heading toward the front door. "But please, don't let me keep you. I'm sure you've got other ports or beds to get along to. It's only an hour or so earlier than you planned."_

_Forgetting his promise to himself, Sirius turned back and moved quickly across the room. "You know, you're not exactly innocent in this arrangement either, Liz. What about your army of swains?"_

"_What swains?"_

"_Swains, lovers, consorts." Sirius sneered, towering over her. Liz backed up into a table, sending the goblets swaying. "You have just as many drifters through this inn as I have relations in other ports."_

_Liz lifted her chin, her jaw tense. For a moment neither spoke. Sirius could see the pulse point where her jaw and neck met jumping to an unsteady rhythm. _

"_There are none."_

_Sirius blinked at her. There was a beat of silence and he blinked again. "What?" he asked dumbly for the second time that evening._

_Liz squared her shoulders, her face pale. Her eyes held his, dark and fiery with the temper that was still evident, but there was something else lingering now in the lines around her mouth and the light in her eyes. Something that reminded him of how she had looked a few moments earlier when her hand was still wrapped securely around his own. _

"_There are no other swains, Sirius."_

"_Wh…well, why not?" He stuttered. _

_She looked at him with that mixture of temper and something else that made him take a shuffled step back. _

"_That…" he cleared his throat. "That is not my fault."_

_Liz's eyes flashed. "The hell it is! You made me fall in love with you, you selfish pig."_

_There was the word again, the word that made the rum turn stale in his stomach. The word that was supposed to make leaving, pain or sadness acceptable, bearable even. He hated that word. Sirius shook his head, slowly at first, then sharply until it almost gave him a headache. "No, you did that all on your own."_

_Liz tucked her lip under her upper teeth, the skin turning white under the pressure as if she was using that pain to maintain the rest of her control. Sirius could see her hands shaking in the fisted material of her robe. _

_Sirius' arm moved, his hand reaching for hers unconsciously. He caught it before it made contact with her crossed arms, letting the limb hover in the air between them. He could practically see the word on her lips again, in the flush on her cheeks. Kissing her now wouldn't make her forget, it wouldn't piece together this safe arrangement that had gone well for years. That gave him a point to return to, gave him something normal and constant. This infallible deal…done in by that damn word._

"_You think you love me but you're-"  
"Mistaken?" Liz replied scathingly. Her voice cracked, but Sirius didn't notice._

"_Yes." Sirius almost snapped, irritated. _

"_Has it occurred to you, Sirius," Liz said, "that maybe it's you who's mistaken. It's you who's wrong. It's you who is deluded into thinking this deal is something that can be simple and without any feeling or care?"_

"_There is no feeling," Sirius cried, panicked. "There's no feeling or emotion or love or _anything_. I'm not deluded and I don't care!" _

_She stared, her mouth parted and her eyes wide. Sirius' chest hurt, like someone had stuck a hot poker under his ribs and let it set there. _

"_Get out," she whispered._

_Sirius straightened away from her, his hand falling to his side. Blood rushed to his cheeks and his fist clenched around his forgotten shirt. "Gladly." He made for the door, throwing it open and letting the thick wood crash against the opposite wall. He could feel her following him, catching the edge of the door as it came back. _

"_You know one day you're going to come back." Sirius had stopped under the threshold, turning to face her. He almost snorted, but he was focused on Liz's face, which had lost all trace of that mysterious thing that tempered her anger, the thing that made her eyes darken and her fingers soft warmth against his sensitive skin. Instead it was unfeeling, smooth and hard as marble and just as unyielding._

"_You're going to come back and someone else is going to be in your place." Liz warned him, her voice scalding. She looked up and her eyes were dry, dry and blazing. "One day you're going to come back and you won't have a place here. A man, a _good_ man will be here instead. And he'll stay and say 'I love you' and mean it."_

_He felt nothing. He did not feel the cool morning wind or the slight mist that stuck to his bare back since his shirt still hung uselessly in his fist. He did not feel a flush on his face, a quickened heartbeat or any emotion at all. Sirius leaned down , his face inches from Liz's. _

"_And when that day comes, I'll buy a drink for the poor fool who chose to stay with you."_

_The crack as she slapped him seemed to echo in heavy silence of the early morning. But no one came out of their homes to investigate the source of the noise; no one came down from the upper rooms of the inn. And eventually the echo of the slap faded into the fog._

_He caught a glimpse of her face just before she slammed the door in his face. A tear stuck to her cheekbone and her face was flushed in patches of pink and red. Then all he saw was the thick wood of the door. _

_Sirius stood outside the door on the top step of the Raven Inn until the misty rain had stopped. His fingertips brushed the door handle only once and he swore that he heard shallow gasps coming from the other side of the door. But then he put his back toward the door and descended the steps. When he stepped into the muddy street, he heard the bolt slide into place._

_Sirius felt nothing. He was absolutely numb as he stood in front of her inn, in her port, separated from a woman he had known for over six years, longer than his own mother, by only a wooden door. But he felt absolutely nothing. _

_At least that was what he told himself as he struggled with his shirt and walked away from the inn toward the pub. It was what he told himself throughout the night as he nursed pint after pint of rum, until he eavesdropped on a boisterous English soldier and then he only felt the need to escape the port as fast as possible and to get rich off a fool English aristocrat. Not necessarily in that order. And that whole time he felt practically nothing._

Nothing. Sirius stared up at Dora, whose eyebrows had puckered into a worried frown at the expression on his face. He felt nothing, absolutely, practically... He tried to swallow again, but the mucus and dried blood was too much and he gagged on it, turning his face away from Dora to spit the bitter tasting saliva from his swollen lips.

Sirius leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, ignoring Dora softly calling his name, or her touch on his cheek that tried to pull him back from oblivion.

But he liked oblivion, the darkness, the safety of it. There he truly did feel nothing, and right now, that was exactly what Sirius wanted to feel. He ignored the brushing touch against his bruised cheek that felt too much like Liz's to keep him sane in this hell on earth, and he let himself fall into the guiltless haze of unconsciousness.

* * *

James watched as Moody wrapped the bandage around his upper arm with a steady, gentle hand. The first time Moody had bandaged a wound of his it had come from a scuffle with Jack. James had come away from the fight with a split lip and a cut across his ribs that had been merely a flesh wound. He had been surprised when Moody bullied him into perching on the desk in his cabin and bandaging his side. It had hurt, but only for a moment. James eyed his former captain, taking in the scars running up his arms, the missing leg and eye, and forgot to wince when Moody finished tying the bandage and sat back in his chair. Moody tugged out his hip flask and took a swig, rolled it around his mouth, then swallowed.

"You're one lucky son of a bitch. A few inches the other way and you'd be getting a sea funeral."

James didn't reply, but reached up and toyed with the edge of the bandage.

"Most people would laugh at my joke."

"Most people don't realize your jokes aren't funny." James replied, getting to his feet and pulling his shirt from the back of the chair. James could feel Moody's eye on him as he tried to pull on the shirt without wincing. He must have failed since a gnarled hand reached out and guided the fabric over his wounded arm. After the shirt settled on his shoulders, James stood still, staring at the floorboards between his boots.

"You've got to learn to ask for help sometimes, boy." Moody muttered, settling back in his chair.

James glared at him. "I did."

He wasn't talking about the shirt, and Moody knew it. The old captain rolled his eye in response. "You've sure got your tail in a knot."

"Almost being killed tends to do that to me."

Moody rolled his eye again. "You must not be practicing like I taught you if _that_ was you almost being killed."

"Well there are a lot of things you taught me that I don't practice anymore."

Moody didn't reply and James moved to the window. He leaned his good arm against the wall and stared out the smudged glass. Below, the torches were being lit in the street, the activity not having been stemmed simply because the sun had set.

"Remus. He's a liability," Moody said, his voice serious.

"He's scared."

"He snapped. You can't trust him not to do it again."

James continued to stare out the window.

"James." The soft use of his name made James start. He turned his head to look at his former mentor. "You're going up against Lestrange and Tom Riddle's coven. There are already too many unknown factors. You can't have another."

James turned away.

"Listen Potter, I understand he's your friend, but you have to think smart. Constant-"

"Vigilance," James finished. "I'm not taking this away from him, Moody."

Moody stared at him. "You're going to get yourself killed, boy."

James snorted softly. "Probably."

The chair creaked as the old captain shifted, stretching out his bad leg. "That doesn't scare you." It wasn't a question.

The young man at the window lifted a finger and traced the outline of a star in the fog his breath had created on the glass. James watched the outline fade in the cool air. But even then, he could make out the smudges on the glass where his finger had touched.

"When Riddle finally came for me, I wasn't scared," James said. "I knew I was going to die, and it didn't scare me at all. What more could he do to me? The key was safe, Lily was safe, I had finally stopped running. I'd won."

James dropped his hand and toyed with the edge of his shirt. "When I saw Lily there, facing him, my heart didn't stop…it hurt. It felt like someone had torn into my chest and filled it with tar. I didn't know if I could move or breath...it hurt to even think. He could have killed her…he almost did."

James swallowed hard. His breath had coated the glass in milky fog and he could see his reflection staring back at him. "I've only been that terrified one other time in my entire life." He half turned and looked at the old man in the chair. "When I realized you'd made me a pirate."

"I didn't make you anything," Moody reminded him. "I gave you a sword. I taught you to use it. What you did with it was your own choice."

"It was an accident," James defended.

"The first time."

James turned his face away. He inhaled and was surprised when it sounded more like a sniffle. He ran a hand over his face, pressing his fingers into his closed eyes. He braced his elbows on the window sill and let his face rest on his hand for a long moment. The sounds from the pub below drifted up through the floorboards. Normal noises that if James kept his eyes closed could have meant he was anywhere. The feeling of who watched him from across the room dissolved any such fantasy.

Turning to face Moody, James realized for the first time that the man was old. He had been old and patched together when they first met. Now it was even more obvious. James leaned his back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, maintaining eye contact.

"What you said before, you were right."

Moody raised an eyebrow and lifted the flask. "I often am. Which part?" He smacked his lips together.

"If I had stayed, if we had stayed, none of this would be happening."

Placing the flask gently on the table, Moody mimicked the position of James' arms. "Think that, do you?"

James shrugged a shoulder. "If I had stayed we wouldn't have stolen a ship, never would have found the key or run afoul of Riddle. Never would have met Peter or killed Riddle. Never would have had a coven after me."

"True," Moody sighed. "You would have been the captain of my ship, a rich man with both Remus and Sirius at your side if your luck had held. You would have been the scourge of England. A drinker of rum and a lover of fine, buxom women. You would have been many things, James. Lacking in enemies, however, would not have been one of them."

James frowned, then adjusted the position of his arms. "Captain of your ship, eh?" The corner of his lip twitched, but his comment lacked true humor.

Moody shrugged a shoulder. "You probably would have had to kill Jack to keep it." Moody tilted is head in thought. "Considering your earlier entrance, you still might have to."

James snorted and shook his head. "I haven't seen him since then…maybe he'll just let it pass."

It was Moody's turn to frown, but he quickly shook his head and grunted, "Jack is a dog with an old bone. He'll hate you until you kill him, longer even."

"I'm not killing him."

Moody let the silence rest. James slid down the wall, keeping his arms tucked against his chest. Moody watched as James' head leaned forward, his chin resting on his chest as if he had begun to doze. Moody knew better, and not only because he had been the one to teach the young pup most of what he knew. The other bits, James had picked up on his own. It didn't stop the old mentor from continuing to tell him what was best. James may have walked off the ship, but he had never stopped being Moody's protégé.

"I was right about Remus, too. You know that."

James didn't lift his head, but Moody saw his hand reflexively tighten in the fabric of his shirt. "Yeah."

But he wouldn't do anything about it, Moody knew. James was a talented fighter, a brilliant mind, level headed when needed, and a leader. But he cared too much sometimes, and now was one of those times. Here he was, ready to sail into the heart of Riddle's old coven to fetch a lost first love for one friend and possibly save his other friend from the same coven. One day, his loyalty would be the death of him. Moody feared that day was coming too quickly.

James' grip on his arm relaxed and a soft release of air carried to the room's only other occupant. Moody took another guzzle from his flask and settled back in his chair to watch over the young captain.

* * *

**What did you think? Good? Bad? Sad? Revealing? Not as much a moment of a story coming together as I thought? Please review! Reviews make my day, seriously.  
**

**Also, for all you Lily/James fans who have been wondering where their scenes are, the next chapter has some tasty morsels between the two. :) Get excited.**


	25. Written in the Stars

**A/N:Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter, I was happy to hear you enjoyed the dip into Sirius and Liz's history. **

**This chapter turned into a little bit of a monster, but I am mostly happy with it - but I was afraid if I didn't post it, I would fret more over it and you all would not get it for another month. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask! :)**

**In other news, it has been almost 4 years since I started writing this story. Real life, writers block and other assortments of things have gotten in the way of me finishing it, but I wanted to thank everyone who has stayed with the story so far (especially those of you that reminded me I needed to get off my butt and write!). If not for you, this story would still be in chapter 3 probably. So thank you all, and on with the chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer: If they are Harry Potter characters I do not own them, however I do own this story so please do not copy or attempt to post this somewhere without my permission. Thank you.**

* * *

Chapter 24: Written in the Stars

Nodding to the dock guard with his lantern swinging from the top of a wooden staff, James walked alone toward his ship. The only light in the bay was the moon and the lanterns placed on the ships. He carefully avoided the unloaded cargo and fishing nets spread along the old boards then ascended the boarding plank to his ship.

James paused partway up, his gaze lingering on the letters painted on the hull of the ship. _The Phoenix_. In the light the moon cast on the hull, James studied the name for a long moment. Eventually, he made his way to the upper deck.

James' shadow stretched across the deck as imposing as a ship on a clear horizon. He heard only the soft beating of the water against the ship and the breath of the wind as it wrapped around his shoulders. James inhaled the warm, salt smell.

He paused at the mast, leaning against the cool wood. On the surface he felt calm; the agitation that had sent him away from the ship seemed to have faded. James shut his eyes against the glaring light of the moon. And yet there remained a small part of him that wanted to fling everything away and watch it smash into pieces as it met the wall. James opened his eyes, and his gaze fell on a silhouette of a woman against the opposite rail. He knew the curve of her shoulders, the way the red hair clung to her even in the breeze. James pushed himself away from the mast and went to her.

James stopped just behind Lily. She did not turn to face him, but instinct told James that she knew he was there. He resisted the urge to simply wrap his arms around her and pull her against his chest. She didn't speak, but kept her face turned toward the sea, toward the horizon and sky where silver flecks of stars winked at him. James tilted his head.

"Watching the stars?" Silence greeted his question. He shifted a little closer. "Every star has a story," he murmured, remembering a time not long ago, on a night very much like this one, where he had held her on the steps of the ship and spoke to her of stars. James pointed past her shoulder, indicating two stars. "Those two have an intriguing one."

There was a soft exhalation of breath, almost like a snort. James raised an eyebrow though he knew she could not see him.

"Don't believe me?" Again she didn't answer, but she did shift slightly until her back was pressed against his chest. "One was a princess. Nothing new there, there's always a princess. She was the most beautiful woman in the land. The other was a pirate. Dashing, of course."

He waited for a laugh, but none came. James dropped his arm and his hand rested on the rail next to hers. "She longed to travel the sea, but her father wouldn't allow it. So she snuck onto a merchant ship to experience it herself. But the ship strayed too far into the ocean. The pirate attacked the ship and took the crew and the goods.

"The pirate gave the crew a chance to become pirates to stay alive, and the princess took it. But she hated him, for all the people he'd murdered and for his arrogance. For he was arrogant, as pirates often are," James murmured. "They made each other miserable for weeks and then…" James paused, his hand drifting over hers, warming it with his own palm. Lily didn't flinch away.

"Then they weren't making each other miserable anymore. And when they stopped trying to make each other miserable, they fell in love."

James stopped. Lily shifted, allowing her head to rest in the crook between his neck and shoulder. His free arm automatically wrapped itself around her stomach, holding her against him as he rested his cheek on the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"They fell in love," he repeated softly. "But eventually, the English caught up with him. And when they discovered the lost princess, they promised him the noose." He felt Lily's body tense against his.

"But the princess could not stand by and let it happen. She told her father she was also guilty of piracy and if they were going to hang the pirate, they must hang her too. Her father begged her to retract her words, but she refused. Unless, they let the pirate go free.

"The king was forced to agree, he could not watch his daughter hang. Instead of leaving the pirate completely free, he marooned him on an island. He was left alive, but completely alone."

James felt Lily's body shift to pull away from him, but he kept his grip steady and she stilled. "He survived for a year with the life he'd been given," James continued, his voice only for her. "Then, one day, a ship came toward the island. A small boat was lowered and a single person rowed to the island shore. The pirate watched it from a distance and saw what appeared to be a young boy step onto the shore.

"The pirate went to meet the sailor, but when the boy turned around the pirate realized it was the princess."

Against his chest, he felt Lily's heartbeat quicken. "They lived the rest of their lives on the island together, and when they died their souls became the two stars. Clustered together in the night sky, forever."

The waves against the ship became the only sound on the deck. Lily turned her face, tilting it so her eyes found James'. He could see the streaks from dried tears.

"So there is a happy ending…" she murmured. James' hand pulled hers from the rail, fingers intertwined, and pressed her palm to his lips.

* * *

"My patience with you is nearing an end, Black." Bella stood above him, hands on her hips. She was dressed in the same dark material as she wore every time she had descended to the dungeon. McNair was nearby, twirling an iron rod in a kettle of coals.

Behind Bella, Dora was pressed against the corner not looking at Sirius. Bella had not sent Dora away as she had done in the past when she came to extract information from Sirius. Always, she had ordered Dora away with one of the pirates. Sirius did not see her until after the session was over, normally when he drifted back from unconsciousness. This time, however, Bella had entered the room with wildness in her eyes. Her mouth was pinched in a sneer when she walked through the door to see the two prisoners sitting near one another. Sirius remembered thinking he should move his head from where it was resting against Dora's shoulder, but he hadn't moved fast enough.

So now she stood in the back corner, asked to stay by the leader of the coven who now towered over Sirius with her teeth bared. Sirius shifted, or as much as he could against the two men holding him down against the cold floor. He winced as one of the pirates adjusted his grip to his bruised shoulder, digging his palm into the purple skin.

"Perhaps," he gasped, "you should ask…better questions."

The boot into his ribs was not a surprise. Sirius took a deep breath, holding it in against the dull ache in his side.

"I grow weary of your humor."

"And I grow weary...of your…repeated questions," Sirius snapped without thinking, his voice hoarse.

Bella pulled away, her eyes narrowed into slits. Then she spun away and pulled the iron rod from McNair's grip. She knelt down, bringing the tip close to Sirius' face. From the short distance, he could see it was not merely a rod, but a branding iron with a capital _P_ on the end. The _P_ was smoking. Sirius tried to shift away but the two hands pinned him firmly to the floor.

"Did you know the English government marks all the pirates about to be hung for their crimes? It came from the belief that in branding their skin it would brand their soul, so when they stood for judgment God would know to send them to the deepest pit of hell." Bella twirled the rod in her fingers.

Sirius swallowed. His chest rose and fell quickly. He could still feel every bruise, wound, and laceration on his body. They throbbed with each new heartbeat and made his head foggy. Sirius blinked through the haze, focusing on the face before him.

Bella paused in her inspection of the branding iron, leaning close to Sirius' face so her breath caused beads of moisture to form on his cheek. "You can't hide them forever."

Sirius turned his head to meet her eyes. "Who says they're hiding?"

There was a moment when the iron touched his flesh that Sirius didn't feel anything. But the moment after was complete agony. The burning, the eating away of his flesh may have only been just above his breast, but it felt as if the tearing, white hot inferno was eating away at his muscles, his bone, his very blood. The smell of burning flesh clung to his senses and Sirius heard a voice cry out. It took several moments before he realized the stretching in his jaw, the hoarseness in his throat meant the sound was coming from his out body. His back tried to arch off the ground, to get away from the metal meeting his flesh, but he couldn't move.

"Stop, stop!"

He heard a woman's voice over his own and a moment later the iron was removed. It clattered to the ground as Bella dropped it to the stone and the two sets of arms released him. Sirius rolled onto his side, burying his cheek in the straw and trying not to smell the putrid odor coming from his own skin.

When he pried his lids open, he saw Dora with her back to the wall, Bella facing her. Words were being spoken, but he couldn't make them out. Sirius shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Then he tightened his hand into a fist, pulling up straw as he heaved himself up against the wall.

Bella turned back to him, behind her Dora's face was flushed. Sirius gaze went past Bella to the former wench, whose hands were wrapped in the folds of her skirt. Feeling how his own hands shook, Sirius wondered if Dora was hiding her nerves from the female pirate. Sirius slipped one hand under his shirt to secure his ribs as he used his other arm to position himself on the wall.

Bella knelt down and held Sirius' chin in her hand, lifting his face so his eyes met hers. She tilted her head down at him, watching the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the dried blood that Dora had not managed to clean off his chest and hairline.

"This could all be over if you just answer my question," she said, her voice a silk scarf wrapping slowly around his neck, waiting to tighten and strangle him. Sirius tried to move his face away, but she tightened her grip on his chin. "All the pain, the suffering, all of it could end. Just tell me where James Potter is, and it will all stop."

On his breast, just above where his heart still beat, a red P was burned. The smell of burned flesh filled his nostrils, threatening to make him sick. Sirius wet his lips.

"Do you really think that if I knew where they were," Sirius spoke slowly, enunciating each word with effort, "I would ever tell you?"

McNair moved toward him, the straw hissing with his advancement. He stopped at a motion from Bella.

"If you don't, then I will draw my answer out of you until you _beg_ for death."

"Not much incentive, really," Sirius muttered, "seeing as either way I'm a dead man."

Bella settled on her haunches, and drew a finger over her jaw in the same fashion that she had the first time they'd met. Her fingers skimmed over the still healing scratches on his cheek that her nails had left. "What if I gave you your life instead?"

Sirius gave a laugh that lacked any effort. "I would call you a liar."

Bella shifted her hand to trace his other cheek as she leaned closer until her face hovered near his. "If you tell me what I want to know I will let you keep your life. I'll even maroon you on an island inhabited by lovely women and rum. All you must do, Sirius Black," she coaxed, her breath hot on his lips, "is tell me the location of James Potter."

Sirius' hand flew up and caught Bella's wrist in a surprisingly tight grip, jerking her hand away from his face. The pirates in the background shifted uneasily, but waited for Bella's signal. Sirius' hand tightened around her wrist, a growl on his lips.

"Go to hell," he told her.

Bella wrenched her arm free, eyes flashing. She stood abruptly, but did not move away from him.

Sirius twisted his face away from her hiss, eyes falling on Dora. Bella's insults continued, but they faded into the back of his mind as he kept his eyes on the woman near the door. She had wiped away the grime from his face and had coaxed him out of the fevered nightmares that had started. He understood now why Remus loved her. Sirius swallowed dryly, trying to focus his thoughts and failing.

The blood on his hand and face had dried, but though they itched terribly, Sirius could not bring himself to wipe a palm across his face. Bella snarled at him and Sirius shook his head, though he didn't know why.

He missed Bella's eyes narrow and her turn to look at Dora, who stared back silently. Bella's lip curled and Dora's brow creased. A cold tremor ran down Dora's spine, the instinct in everyone that told them to run flared. But there was nowhere to go; two pirates stood blocking the door and McNair was within arm's length. Dora released one hand from the folds of her skirt and pressed her palm to the cold stone.

Bella dropped down, grabbing Sirius' jaw in a tight grip. "So easy sacrifice your own life." She dug her fingernails into his cheek and jerked his head to look back at Dora. "What about hers?"

Everything moved too fast. Sirius reacted without thinking, throwing off Bella's grip and surging to his feet. A wave of dizziness slowed him down and then he was slammed into the stone wall, two sets of hands holding him up. His vision went spotty, then cleared to see McNair holding Dora around the waist with a knife at her throat. There was a bruise forming on her jaw and there were several cuts across McNair's cheek that mirrored the nail marks on Sirius'.

Sirius lunged forward and was slammed back into the wall. His back smarted and he pulled at the hands twisted into the material of his shirt.

Bella stood in front of him, her breath coming in quick gasps but there was the slightly crazy smile on her lips. Sirius froze.

One of the first things Dora had warned him about was the coven assuming a connection between them. It was what had gotten him captured, and they had been careful to never be caught too close. They were simply a prisoner and a servant making sure he was alive for the next session of questions. But if their nearness at Bella's entrance had not made the coven more suspicious, their combined reaction had. Sirius dropped his gaze away. A meaty hand grabbed his jaw and forced his head back up to look across at Dora.

"Tell me what I want to know." The threat was silent, but a quick breath from Dora as McNair shifted the knife made it clear.

Sirius stared across the room at Dora. The mysterious wench from the pub was gone; the mistrustful woman had disappeared and left behind the young woman his best friend loved. Thinking of Remus made his stomach twist. He thought of James, Remus and Lily coming for them, they _had_ to be coming because if they weren't…if they weren't coming that meant it was up to him and this moment. McNair's grip tightened and Sirius saw a trickle of red on Dora's too pale neck. But that made him think of James with Riddle's blade at his throat, and Crouch saying there would be more. Except they didn't know where James was, and if James never came here then he could be safe, then he and Remus and Lily could be safe. But Dora and Sirius would not be, and how would he explain that he watched Dora die to Remus, watched and did nothing? Just as they had stood and watched Riddle put his blade to James' chest and stood there because James had asked it. What had James asked before he left, Sirius wondered, had there been an order about this sort of circumstance? Probably not. Sirius blinked, trying to reign in his scattered thoughts, sifting through Remus, James, Lily, Liz until it was just Dora and him standing across from one another in a damp cell.

Sirius wet his lips, ignoring the coppery taste that was too familiar. "No."

The words fell like lead in the room. Bella's eyes darkened with fury as she spun around. She made a gesture with her hand and Sirius tensed. McNair tightened his grip on Dora's arm and then shoved her to the ground. Dora caught herself with one hand. She knelt over, her hair falling in a veil over her face as her free hand reached up to brush her nicked throat. Sirius could feel his heartbeat again.

Bella whirled on him, fisting a hand in his shirt as she shoved him harder into the wall. The pain almost made him pass out. Bella leaned over, pressing her cheek against his to speak into his ear. "Perhaps, Sirius Black, you are not as noble as you would like to believe."

She left him abruptly, stalking out of the room. The men let Sirius sink to the floor, clamping only one arm in chains before exiting and locking the door.

Sirius released a heavy breath, but he felt no relief in the exhalation. He turned his head to look at Dora. She was sitting up against the opposite wall now, a thin red streak on the base of her throat stood out in the dim light. She stared across the room at him with empty blue eyes. He opened his mouth, but she twisted her head away, stopping just before it became a full shake of denial.

Sirius swallowed hard, a bitterness welling up in his mouth. The skin above his chest flared with renewed pain. He wrapped his arms around his middle, as much to ward himself against the pain as to fend away the image of Dora who had become the distant woman who had first stepped through the door.

Sirius dropped his bloodshot eyes, staring at the fresh brand over his heart.

* * *

The first thing Lily noticed when she woke was her cheek resting on something firm and warm. She tried to move backwards, but a tight pressure around her waist prevented it. The warm object made an unsatisfied grumbling noise. Lily stilled, raised herself up on an elbow and looked at the form beside her.

James was reclined against the pillows, his hair mussed and falling haphazardly on his forehead. His shirt was rumpled and one arm was hooked around Lily's ribs. A smile softened Lily's features and she relaxed against James' side. Lily turned her face, pressing her nose against his skin and inhaling. He smelled of wood, salt, ink and sweat – uniquely James. Lily released her breath.

"You make it difficult for a man to sleep doing that," a voice murmured in her ear.

Lily jumped, bringing her head up so quickly she almost hit James in the chin. "You were asleep."

"I was," he affirmed, keeping a firm hold on her. He ducked his head to press a soft kiss to her temple. "But you" – he kissed her left eyebrow – "woke me up." He kissed the tip of her nose.

The right corner of her mouth quirked. "Your aim is dreadful, Captain Potter."

"Tactical, I prefer tactical, Miss Evans." James smirked and caught her lips with his own.

A moan caught halfway up her throat and under the soft press of his lips, hers parted. Lily slipped her hands around James' neck, pulling him closer until his body pressed hers into the bedding. James tilted his head; his free hand pushed the red strands off her face.

When he finally broke the kiss, James was breathing heavily. He let his face rest in the crook of Lily's neck, enjoying the feeling of her quick pulse against his skin. He placed a kiss on her collarbone. "Not a terrible way to wake up," he considered.

She poked him hard in the ribs and he tightened his hold. "A lesser woman may take that as an insult."

"Luckily, you are far from a lesser woman," James replied easily. He felt the brush of Lily's lips against his neck in a rewarding kiss, and smiled. He dropped pressed his face against her cheek and kissed his way up her jaw to her lips. James wasn't sure if the contented sigh was from him or her, but he didn't really care.

Lily broke the second kiss with a yelp, a sharp pressure digging into her lower back. James raised himself up on his elbow as she frowned and dug in the bedding. A moment later, her hand emerged holding one of the log books. It was probably one of many left over from the night before. She smiled wryly, holding the book between them.

James stared at the black book, the content haze fading rapidly. He pulled the book from her grip and turned, settling back into a sitting position against the wall. Lily followed, crossing her ankles and watching as James turned the log book over in his hands.

"I almost forgot." James snorted to himself, then waved the book at her. "Ridiculous, right?"

Lily caught his hand, linking their fingers. "Not so ridiculous," she told him. When he continued to stare bleakly at the book, she continued, "When Sirius gets back, he'll probably berate you for not relaxing more. He'll wonder why there's still rum left and why I look as if I haven't been kissed recently." The light tease made the corner of James' lip twitch

"You're probably right." The smile was a little strained, but it was still a smile. "He'll finish the rum off the first night, and probably kiss you just to make up for any lost time." With a tug on her hand, James pulled her into his lap. The log book slipped onto the bedding.

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "I think I will leave the reunion kissing to Liz."

James released a breath, but didn't voice any doubts he may have harbored about Liz. Lily kissed his forehead, trying to melt away tension.

"You missed," James informed her, before kissing her chastely on the lips. When he pulled back, Lily ran a thumb along his bottom lip. James tilted his head. "There's rum in the cabinet."

Lily pressed her forehead against his. "Don't you want to save that for Sirius?"

The smile grew a little less forced. "His is in the drawer with the gold."

Lily smiled and made to move away. James watched as Lily left the bed, taking the log book with her. He grumbled a little under his breath, running a hand over his bangs to try and flatten them.

Dropping the logbook on the desk, Lily paused to look at the map stretched across the surface. She had studied the map, the coasts and markers that James had placed along each port that was mentioned in the books. He had gone as far as to indicate where some of Moody's men had claimed Riddle or Lestrange was rumored to have been spotted.

Lily ran a hand over the clump of dots running along the coast. The map rustled under her caress and she tilted her head to look at the other papers lying nearby. A drawing in particular caught her eye.

James had followed her from the bed and Lily felt him wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her loosely against his chest. Lily picked up the drawing and frowned.

"What's this?"

It was a rough charcoal sketch, surrounded by similar sketches that had been scratched out or smeared. This one looked like a slanted eye, the two curves and the circle in the center for the iris.

He looked over her shoulder. "A tattoo." Lily turned slightly in his arms, her frown deepening. "Crouch's crew had the same tattoo as the pirates that burned out the merchant ship. Lestrange's friends who fought us in the bar did as well."

Lily vaguely remembered Remus' insistence concerning a tattoo shortly after the battle with Crouch. But the conversation had quickly detoured into suspicion about a coven and tending to James' injury. She had never had the opportunity to ask about the tattoo's significance.

"Is that normal?"

James shrugged a shoulder, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Some crews and covens share a tattoo; it's a way to show loyalty."

Lily lowered the parchment, running a finger over the slant of the eye. "That would mean Bellatrix and the others would have the same tattoo."

"Probably," James murmured against her skin. "Not that it truly matters."

"Why not?"

James released a breath. "Because a pirate is not going to willingly show you their ship's mark. It's a secret among the crew, a way to weed out traitors or spies. If Bellatrix has the tattoo, she's kept it covered so no one would know."

"It seems like an odd mark. An eye." James didn't reply. Lily tilted her head to look at the map again.

She blinked, closing her eyes and then letting them refocus on the dots. She followed the paths and slight charcoal marks James had made. Her eyes lingered first on the X marked port where Dora had first disappeared and then the island where Sirius had gone missing. Her eyes darted between the two and then to the surrounding ports that arched away from them. Lily frowned.

"James…"

"Lily, it's just a tattoo. Sometimes the pirate's flag ties into it, but unless we _find_ a member of the coven and make them show us their arm we wouldn't ever know –"

"No. James, look at this."

She felt him shift. "What?"

Lily indicated between the map and the sketch. "What do you see?"

"Dots."

"James."

"I'm serious." Frustration brought an edge to his voice. "I've been looking at the damn thing for so long, all I see are dots."

Lily refused to let him sink back into a frustrated depression. She pulled out of his grip and snatched a piece of charcoal from the edge of the desk. She held the map down as she drew between the dots.

"Lily, what–"

"Trust me." Though Lily didn't lift her gaze from the map, James fell silent. The charcoal left a faint black arch. She adjusted her grip and connected the next cluster of dots in a bowl shaped swoop.

"Now look."

James frowned over her shoulder. The arched lines did not follow the exact path of the ports, but they held the same shape of the cluster. The ends of each arch met so it looked almost like an oval that had been compressed. James' frown deepened and his gaze flickered to the tattoo. No, not an oval, an _eye_.

"An eye," James muttered, looking at the drawing again. "Without the iris…but the shape is almost the same." He shook his head abruptly. It was ridiculous, why would Riddle's path or territory be in the shape of a tattoo his former coven now wore? Unless Riddle's pirates were wearing the tattoo long before their leader's demise.

"Son of a bitch," James murmured.

Lily's brow was furrowed. "Except these two points don't fit." She indicated the two ports marked with an X. One of them she knew to be Looe Island. Diagonal from that mark and on the coast was Liz's port. Each of the ports was close to the hand drawn lines, but stood somewhat apart from the other ports Riddle had visited.

"All that's missing from the tattoo is the circle," Lily said, more to herself than James. She drew a line connecting the two points, then she drew a crude circles using the two points. The circle was somewhat lopsided on the top where few ports were marked, but otherwise it completed the image of an eye.

"The coven spent more time in these two ports. If there were a third point, a third port Riddle or Lestrange frequented more often, that could be his hideout. It would have to be up here and then the iris would be complete." Lily ran her hand along the upper part of the circle. The charcoal stained the pads of her fingers black. "James?" Lily half turned, but James was staring at the lines on the map.

"Son of a bitch…" he repeated. "That…that wily bastard."

Lily reached out to touch his shoulder, but James whirled and caught her face between his hands. He placed a hard kiss on her lips, making her squeak. "You are brilliant," he said emphatically.

Lily giggled, "Thank you, but do you know any of those ports?"

"No." But he was smiling.

"Then how are we going to narrow–"

James released her mid-sentence and snatched up the map, rolling it messily before grabbing his boots. He stumbled across the room, trying to pull them on. Lily followed.

"I don't know. I have no bloody clue. But this," he shook the map, his smile wide, "this is something. This is a direction." James stuffed the map in his belt and rushed out of the room.

The door slammed shut. Left in the cabin, Lily released a breath and sat down on the edge of the desk. Suddenly, the door flew open she found herself grabbed and kissed again.

"Bloody brilliant," James repeated, then disappeared again.

* * *

Moody stared at the parchment James had laid on the table. His hand toyed with the edge of his flask, the cool metal proving to be more of a temptation than normal. James stood across the table, arms over his chest and foot tapping an impatient, and unconscious, rhythm on the floorboards. Moody resisted the urge to berate the younger man, or give him a sound smack to the back of the head, especially when James began gnawing on the corner of his lip.

The pirate captain returned his gaze to the map, eying the smudged charcoal.

"Riddle's headquarters has to be somewhere along that line," James repeated, taking a step toward the table.

Moody ignored him, running a finger along the outermost edge of the design. James was correct in one thing: it did look remarkably like an eye. An interesting coincidence. Moody snorted to himself. If he believed in coincidence.

"You said you would help if I could bring you something more," James reminded him. Moody thought about pointing out the free supplies he'd provided the younger man, about the warm meals he'd let the crew take in his pub, about how James had sought him out in the middle of the night. "This is more. It has to be there somewhere."

"And if it's not?" Moody felt the need to ask.

James frowned. "Sirius is running out of time."

"Not going to help him if you go to the wrong port," Moody warned.

James bristled, but when he spoke, his voice was even. "Riddle frequented these ports with consistency and purpose, his attacks were likewise executed. These two ports he visited the most frequently, and his coven has continued the pattern. There must be one other place he returned to if it wasn't one of these ports. The pattern indicates it is along this coastline." James took a slow breath. "Lily's not wrong. _I'm_ not wrong."

Neither man spoke for a long moment. Then Moody heaved himself out of his chair and hobbled over to the corner of shelves. He pulled out several maps, shoved a few back, then drew out a leather-bound book. He threw his pile on the table, gesturing for James to move the map aside.

He unfurled one map, traced the coastline with a scarred hand, then grunted and shoved the map to the ground. Moody performed the same act two more times before the grunt was one of approval. The map was old, ripped on the edges with much of the lines faded under the pressure of time. But it presented a far more detailed scope of the section of coastline Lily had discovered. James leaned over the map, brow furrowed.

Moody tapped one of the ports. "Too busy, that one as well. No pirate, even Riddle, would travel to some of these. Too close to the king." He scratched at the map's surface with a fingernail in thought. James reached a hand forward and Moody slapped it away.

Ignoring the glare James threw in his direction, Moody flipped open the old book, journals and sketches from when he had been younger. Inside the softened cover, were the writings of a young mind, drawings of the towns he had visited and charts of maps he had studied before he had become captain. The end of the journal was written in indistinguishable scrawl after his hand had been mutilated.

"A few of these are possibilities, lesser known hubs for pirates, smaller ports that would not draw too much attention from the crown."

But James was shaking his head. "He wasn't hiding. The first port, that was where he could hide, Looe Island was his retreat. He didn't need a hideout, he needed a home. Somewhere he could retreat to keep his gold, and not have to hide at all."

James ran a finger down the coast and then paused at a small inlet that was almost indistinguishable. Despite the fact that it looked like merely a curve in the coast, there was a marker indicating a port. James looked at his map, but the inlet was not there and there was not point marking a port.

"That one," James muttered. "What's that one?"

Moody frowned, the pages of his journal rustled as the covers slapped together. With his one good eye, he squinted at the inlet James indicated. "I've never known the name. It's a lost settlement, owned by a duke nigh on a decade ago."

"A duke?" James' gaze darted between his map and Moody's. "It's not marked on the map."

"Aye, that's why it's lost," Moody grumbled. He flipped through his journal. Every piece of news that had fallen on his young, and eventually scarred, ears he had written on the blank pages. "He owned the whole inlet, no merchant or military ships could get in. Eventually people stopped hearing from the settlement. Assumed it caught a fever."

James studied the inlet. It looked innocent, a fading line of ink that appeared no different from any other part of the coast. His stomach twisted and James' jaw tightened. It looked no different, and yet somehow he knew it was what he had been looking for, what was the backdrop of every new fitful nightmare, where Sirius and Dora waited.

"Why no merchant or military ship?"

Moody indicated the ridges of the inlet. "Only one way in and out, barely enough passage for a ship. The place is impenetrable, blocked from the sea by cliffs, only one road in from the sea or land. No ship could sneak up on them, they'd be cut to bits. Only a fool would try to invade that inlet."

"Mark me for a fool, then."

Moody looked up sharply. James had straightened from the table, hands hanging at his sides. He looked years older than his score and handful years. He wasn't looking at the maps any longer, but at Moody.

"You're only going to get one chance. There's probably only time to check one port before you should give up on ever seeing Sirius alive." It was as much of permission as he was willing to give, not that James really needed his permission at all.

The lines around his mouth were taunt as James returned his former captain's gaze.

"And you'll need a plan to get in there."

"I'll work on it." James snatched up his map and tucked it in his belt. His hand hovered for a moment over Moody's map before the old captain nodded, and James took that one too.

"You're going to improvise…that how you stopped Riddle?" Moody gave in to temptation and took a long drag from his flask.

"No, that was luck," James answered honestly. Moody almost cursed at the twinkle he could see burning in his protégé's eyes.

"I hope you've kept some of that in reserve, boy."

* * *

Dora had not moved since Bella had left them in the cell, since Bella had threatened her life and he, Sirius, had done nothing to save her. No, Sirius reminded himself, he'd done worse than nothing – he'd said no. He'd said he would do nothing to save her, and that was far worse.

Sirius had watched her as the hours passed, as night faded into daylight and then drifted back toward twilight. Dora had sat in silence, her face turned away from him. The last time he had felt this alone had been two decades ago.

He had tried to talk to her, apologize. But the words never made it out of his throat, and Dora's reminder that the "walls had ears" reverberated in his mind. Perhaps it was better this way, for Bella to think there was no connection between them, that Sirius did not care what happened to the other prisoner.

Perhaps it was better, but right now Sirius didn't give a damn about what was better.

And there it was again, that selfishness Remus had accused him of, the selfishness Liz had thrown back in his face, even if she did not say the actual words. Hell, even James had alluded to it before. Sirius couldn't really deny it, he liked his life, he loved his friends, and he would be damned if anyone was going to take that home away from him.

_Even at the cost of her life?_ A small voice questioned him. Sirius looked at the silent form across the cell. Yes, he admitted bitterly, even at that cost. Sirius didn't think he'd ever hated himself as much as he did at the moment that thought crossed his mind.

Now, hours later, he still had not spoken and Dora had not turned towards him. Bella had not returned, no food was brought, and the sun was dipping below the horizon. Sirius looked out the grate window and saw the first few stars appear in the sky. Without realizing it, the corner of his lip twitched upward.

"James used to tell us stories before we went to sleep in the orphanage." Sirius didn't realize at first that it was his voice that had filled the cell, that it was his lips moving around the words. When he did, he tried to swallow the words away, but it was as if his mouth had mutinied.

"There was always a pirate and a princess, always a princess who fell in love. There were battles and evil men with thick mustaches; thieves who stole and gave to the poor, scrawny boys who became kings." Sirius paused. "Stupid stories really. Probably weren't even true…"

He shifted against the wall, too exhausted to even hiss at the pain such movement caused. His shackled arm reached up and rubbed at the fresh burn on his chest. The pad of his finger traced the marred skin, getting used to the disfigurement.

"I used to tell myself stories to fall asleep." Sirius froze, turning his head slightly. Dora had moved and she now sat with her back against the same wall, her face still turned away from his. "There was a prince and a princess and they traveled the seas."

Sirius cleared his throat. "What did they see?"

"Everything," Dora murmured. "Mermaids, wizards, magic swords, famous kings and beautiful queens."

"No pirates?" Sirius dared to ask.

"No, no pirates." Dora turned her face towards him. He could see the dry blood along the skin of her throat. It wasn't a deep enough cut to do more than sting and possibly leave a slight scar. Sirius turned away, adjusting his gaze to the grate. It was black now, flecks of white spread along the cover of night.

"Sounds far more exciting then James' stories, boy could only talk about pirates." Sirius tried to scoff, but found he could not. He chalked it up to exhaustion rather than lack of desire to mock James' stories. "I swear all the stories were the same and not a lick of them true."

"You said that already," Dora pointed out softly.

Sirius looked down at her. Dora's gaze held none of the accusation it should have, the bitterness that should have marred her features. Sirius would have understood if she had yelled at him, if she had called him a bastard or kept her distance. He almost said it aloud, almost gave her the permission. He might have if she had not put her hand on his free arm, slipping her hand into his. She squeezed once and he could feel how her limb shook against his. She was as terrified as he was, terrified of what had happened and what could happen.

"Well it's the truth," Sirius muttered, only a little petulantly.

This time the quivering against his shoulder was from Dora's laugh. She rested her head against his shoulder and Sirius tried not to wince at the contact.

There was a long moment of silence, until Sirius could bear it no longer. Again, the draw of being so close to another human being was his undoing. He couldn't pull away from the welcomed contact and he rested his cheek against Dora's head.

He remembered the first moment he had realized he could not sleep alone. James and Remus had gotten sick a year after Sirius had arrived at the orphanage. They'd been separated from the rest of the boys and for the first time, Sirius was forced to sleep alone in the small bed. He had tried to tell himself a story, but he was never as good at it as James. He'd stolen pillows from the younger boys and packed them around him, as if there were two other bodies sleeping nearby. He did not sleep for two days. Finally, he'd stood out in the rain for an afternoon until the head of the orphanage dragged him inside and, terrified he would catch a chill, had bundled him off to the sick room with James and Remus.

Sirius shifted his head, and Dora's short hair clung to his cheek. He was careful to keep the bloody part of his face away from her hair. The tremors in her hand had stopped.

"Dora–"

The hand squeezed, cutting off the words. Sirius let the apology rest on his tongue, then swallowed and squeezed her hand in return.

The cell was silent and Sirius thought Dora had fallen asleep until he heard a soft voice from against his shoulder.

"Tell me a story?"

"James is far better at them then me," Sirius told her. There was silence, as if she was waiting for him to continue. His gaze strayed to the grate again. Just beyond, he could make out the stars.

"I remember one…" It was barely a murmur between his split lips. "About the South Star and his brother, the North Star." Sirius wet his lips, feeling the warm body shift closer. How had James always started the story?

"They were princes long ago. The North Star was the oldest and the least likely to get into mischief…"

* * *

James set another bag of flour against the rail of the deck. Running the back of his hand across his forehead, he watched Hagrid, weighted down with four similar cloth sacks, make his way up the gangplank. He almost knocked John off, turning to apologize and making John have to duck and dance away.

The captain looked up the deck, noting Remus who was taking inventory of the weapons and gunpowder they had available. Lily and Liz were helping tie down the rigging. James watched Liz tighten her knot and smile; the wind picked up and the knot held. James almost smiled, too.

"Daydreaming, Potter?"

James leaned over the rail, eying Moody who waited near the crates about to be loaded on the ship. Moody gestured with one hand, and James descended to the dock.

"We'll be shipping out within the hour," James said, glancing toward his crew. They were moving quickly, trying to get the extra supplies Moody had provided on the ship and prepare _the Pheonix_ for an upcoming battle.

"One ship, a handful of men and two women," Moody counted as if James hadn't spoken. "You'll never make it out of there alive, much less save Sirius."

James bristled, but the retort died when a heavy hand rested on his shoulder. Moody turned him half around. James found himself looking at a large ship being loaded with the same intensity as his own. He could make out several of Moody's men and on the deck Shacklebolt stood giving orders. James looked questioningly over his shoulder.

"Shacklebolt knows the coast well. Another ship of good pirates won't hurt your chances." James blinked, looking between the ship and Moody. The grip on his shoulder tightened. "They'll follow your orders, no contest."

James' mouth opened, but no sound came out. He licked his lips, then cleared his throat. "And you?"

Moody laughed loudly, causing several of the other men on the dock to jump. He slapped James' shoulder. "Boy, I am too old to be scouring the seas in search of battle."

The corner of James' lip turned upward, a sign he didn't truly believe the old captain's words, but he was not going to get into an argument about it. Moody patted James' shoulder, "Just evening the odds," he belayed James' urge to thank him.

Instead, James nodded sharply. The loading was almost complete and so he placed a hand between them. When he had walked away from this man the first time, he had not done it right. Moody grasped his hand, tightening his grip to pull James forward a bit.

"Constant vigilance," James said before Moody could offer the warning. The old captain's eyebrows rose and another laugh escaped.

He was still laughing when James turned and boarded his ship.

* * *

The lock on the door fell out of place, the grind of metal against metal jarring Sirius and Dora. Sirius lifted his head, eyes flickering toward the window. The sky was gray beyond the grate, heralding rain. The door squealed as it swung open, banging against the stone wall.

Dora released the grip on his hand. Sirius straightened, pushing himself up the wall into a standing position.

Bella walked through the opening, pausing a few steps into the room, hands on her hips. Her lips were curled in the semblance of a smile. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Mr. Black, you have a guest," she said, drawing out the final word until it was more like a purr.

Sirius' gut clenched, and for a brief moment he expected James or Remus to be thrown through the opening. Bella moved from the doorway and a figure walked through, followed by McNair and another burly pirate. Sirius' eyes widened.

"Jack?"

The oiled blond strands stuck to Jack's cheeks as he smirked. Dora looked between the two men, a frown on her lips. Bella watched Sirius. Sirius' gaze flickered over the features, older, but still recognizable.

"Black." Jack tucked his thumbs in his belt and leaned forward slightly. "You look worse than usual." Jack grinned as if he had made a witty joke.

Sirius licked his lips slowly. "Still better looking than you."

The grin dropped from Jack's lips. "Not for much longer."

Sirius tipped his head, the ghost of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "The light isn't so good. Why don't you get a little closer and we'll see," he dared.

Jack smirked then, resuming his stance. Behind him, McNair and the other pirate shifted, as if they were uncomfortable with doing nothing. "Potter says hello, by the way."

Sirius felt his jaw loosen slightly, he fought to control his reaction, but by the flicker of a smile on Bella's lips he'd failed. At his shoulder, Dora tensed.

Nodding toward the bruises on Jack's face, Sirius asked, "Is that from where he said hello?"

Jack struck, his fist connecting with the side of Sirius face. Normally the strike would not have stunned him, but as he was, Sirius stumbled into the wall. He shook his head, trying to clear the spots from his vision.

Neither Bella, nor the other pirates moved.

Jack was breathing hard, even though the actual strike had not taken that much energy. "He's looking for you," Jack said smirking. "Trying to find Riddle's hideout and come to your rescue. Pitiful. He's like a kicked puppy, I almost feel sorry for the bastard."

"You're a liar," Sirius ground out. He spat blood on the stone.

Jack laughed, ignoring the audience as he stepped a little closer. "He came to Moody, asked him to help find a heading so he could sail to your rescue. That was days ago. He might have figured it out by now, or maybe not." Jack shrugged. "I never thought he was as smart as Moody gave him credit for."

The insult rolled off Sirius' shoulders, he'd heard worse. But his eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of Moody. "Moody," he murmured.

"Moody's retired, didn't you know? Old man wanted to run his own pub, enjoy his riches. Me, I miss it. The marauding, the stealing, the _killing_." Jack took another step. "I heard you'd retired, too."

"Pardoned," Sirius snarled out softly, his words carrying only to Jack and Dora.

Jack snorted. "Don't you miss it? The stealing? The killing?"

Sirius didn't answer.

Jack smirked and pulled on one of his sleeves to reveal the arm not riddled with tattoos. This one held only one. The ink of the eye was bright, as if it had not truly become part of the skin yet.

Jack tilted his head, one finger rubbing at the tattoo. "Potter must really be lost with out you, if he came crawling back to Moody." The pirate nodded toward Bella, who had come to stand at his shoulder. "That's probably the only reason you're not dead yet."

Jack's next sentence cut off with a gurgle and yelp as knife appeared embedded in his side. Bella twisted the blade and a whimper escaped the suddenly panicked face of the pirate.

"Thank you, Jack," Bella said smoothly, "you've been very helpful."

She never looked at Jack, even when she withdrew the bloody knife and let Jack drop face-down onto the floor. She watched Sirius the entire time.

Dora did not make a sound, but Sirius felt a sudden his breath catch in his throat when the knife appeared. Wide eyes watched the life drain from Jack's face, and then the body slump to the damp floor. He swallowed, trying to control the shock as he lifted his gaze to Bella.

"I don't leave loose ends," she said, slowly. Sirius stared at her. She kicked the body. "Get this out of my sight."

McNair grabbed the feet and dragged, the fabric hissed along the stone before the body disappeared into the corridor.

Bella walked close to Sirius, coming almost chest to chest with him. She wiped the knife on his shirt, keeping her gaze on the blade during the task. Sirius didn't move he felt as if he'd been turned to stone.

"Undoubtedly Potter will come, but I'm an impatient woman. Perhaps I will go where he feels safe and take him there. Or perhaps I will wait. I haven't decided, yet." She smirked up at Sirius. He refused to drop his gaze and look at her. She tucked her knife in her belt, turned sharply, striding across the room.

Bella stopped at the door. She turned her face to look over her shoulder, lips curling. "I _will_ kill him, Sirius Black. And when I do, you will watch."

The door slammed on the echo of her promise and Sirius felt his knees finally give out. He felt Dora's hand on his arm before his knees hit the floor. Bile rose in his mouth as Sirius stared at the bloody smear – all that was left of Jack. He could hear soothing words in Dora's voice from somewhere near his shoulder, but he couldn't quite make out what the words were. His ears roared with screams and cannon fire, goodbyes never spoke and grudges shouted too loud.

Sirius ran a hand over his face before fisting it in his hair. Something wet ran down his face and clung to his lips. It tasted salty.

* * *

**A/N: Exciting? Confusing? Revealing? Gave you warm fuzzy bunnies? (Somehow I'm doubting the last one ;)) Please review and let me know what you think!  
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	26. Come What May

**A/N: Yes I'm alive. :) I'm so sorry it has taken me awhile to get this update. I blame real life but also the fact that I lost half my notes for this chapter (that's what I get for writing on scraps of paper I find lying around) and so trying to write it was difficult without the notes on details and explanations I knew needed to happen. Until, lo and behold, I found the notes while cleaning my room. And then it all fell together. Hopefully some of you are still interested in this story. Thanks to everyone who sent me reviews and who kept reminding me that I needed to get working on these chapters and finally finish this story. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. We have about five more to go and then an epilogue. The next chapter is already started and I swear it won't take me months to update this time.  
**

**Disclaimer: At this point I would think this is obvious but - JK owns the HP characters, I own the plot and any additional characters you don't recognize.  
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Chapter 25: Come What May

Moody's map lay across the ledgers, maps, knives, and broken candlesticks that made up James' desk. In between the deep folds in the parchment was the single dirt road leading to the settlement and the only entrance point from the sea: a narrow canal between—Moody had cautioned—steep cliffs. The rocks were said to shred the hull of a ship in moments if care was not taken. To pass through the opening one had to be of keen eye, steady hand, and on good accord with the Lord. As for the path, it would take days of circling the coast to find another port where the path _might_ begin.

James' fingers carded through his hair, his back to the room where Shacklebolt, Remus, and Lily muttered, cursed, and argued over the map. Dozens of plans had been offered up then thrown aside since they had left Moody's port. No matter the good time they were making, it did no one any good if all they could do was wait outside the cove for Lestrange and the coven. They would be outnumbered, unable to outrun an armada. And Bellatrix would surely kill Sirius, and perhaps Dora, before James could attempt to take over her own ship. If she left the security of her cove at all.

They couldn't outrun them, they couldn't lure them out, they couldn't even _bargain_ with them—though no one had dared make that suggestion. Keeping a careful eye on the sun's descent, James took a steadying breath. Six hours until sunset. They would be at the cove before nightfall if the wind and current held.

"Regardless of how we get in, our only option is to invade the compound," Lily said smartly.

"Invade?" James would have considered it a snort if it had come from anyone but Shacklebolt. "You don't know the layout of the compound. It would take time to gather information, to understand the situation before attempting—"

"There's no _time_." Remus slapped the palm of his hand on the desk. "If we wait any longer, they'll be dead."

_They._ James finally turned his face from the window, watching Remus careful face off with Shacklebolt.

"History would suggest that since they knew James, they know Sirius. If he's still alive they're holding him to lure us there. And if we wait much longer they'll decide he isn't worth the bait and get rid of him." Remus' voice was calm, deceptively so since James could see the tremor in his hands. "Dora may not be bait, but she's not there willingly either and the longer she's there the more danger she's in."

There was a flash of defensiveness in Shacklebolt's eyes, but he bit his lip and James could see him tamper down whatever snapped reply he'd been formulating. James saw his relief reflected in Lily's own features, if only for a moment.

"Time or not," Shacklebolt began, "they'll be in more danger if you don't think through all the possible angles. Do you even know where in the compound they might be? They could be hidden buildings on opposite ends of the cove."

Remus looked like was about to argue further, the flush on his cheeks rising, but Lily interrupted.

"Could we reach the path from another point on the coast? Not a port, but anchor the ship and take the longboats to the beach?" She tapped the inked border just shy of the cove. "With ropes we could navigate the rocks or steep ground, then use the path as a guide but come through the trees to the compound. They'll be watching the path or the cove, not the forest."

It wasn't a bad idea, in theory, James considered. Granted, they had no concept of how dangerous the beach was, no idea if scaling it was even realistic. And then there was the matter of the ships. Leaving them like sitting ducks for someone to come upon did not sit well in James' stomach, not to mention if one of the coven's ships went out and came across them…

"Who knows if we could climb it…or make it through the wilderness in time," Remus muttered, but it lacked the heated rejection of earlier suggestions.

"A good rope and a strong man on top," Lily countered, catching James' eye. "And we wouldn't have to be too far from the opening of the cove. If we can make it before dusk we will have a handful of hours to get into position around the compound."

Thinking of Hagrid and counting off the number of men in his head, James felt his lips start to curl into a half smile. He came closer to the table and rested his hands on the wood. It felt cool under his flushed skin, grounding in a way that watching the sun's descent had not been.

"It's risky…like Remus said it may be impassable. And then we'd have men stuck on a beach out in the open and would lose another day. Even if it is passable, they might not make it to the compound fast enough." James released a long breath. "But we don't have any better of plan."

"You're forgetting something," Shacklebolt interrupted. His face was pinched in the same expression as when he had first told James about Bellatrix. "In that compound there are perhaps hundreds of pirates. Dozens of ships. You do not know where in that compound your friend is. And supposing you do surprise them, supposing you manage to make it into the compound—sixty men cannot win against hundreds."

Calm, reasonable Shacklebolt. There was a reason he was Moody's right hand man, and the reason Moody had sent him with James was becoming steadily clearer. The realization didn't stop the trickle of irritation that crawled up James' spine at the reminder of what they faced.

Remus leaned over the map. A glint appeared in his eye, flashing a little too brightly, a little too much like Sirius when he had a truly wicked plan.

"What if we gave them something else to look at?" Remus looked up, meeting James' eyes. "Make them look one way while we come in from the other?"

"That would have to be a hell of a distraction," Lily muttered, so softly that only James glanced sharply at her.

His brow creased briefly, Lily's words echoing in his ears as James looked down at the floorboards. He followed the board to the wall, then up to the ceiling. Gradually the wrinkles on his forehead relaxed.

"A hell of a distraction…" he breathed. Leaning over the map, James tapped the mouth of the cove on the map.

"Remus, you'll take the longboats and the men to this section of the beach. We'll use Lily's suggestion. Climb the beach, get through the wilderness and locate a good position behind the coven. You'll wait for my signal and then come in from behind them to attack."

Shacklebolt and Remus were giving him matching looks of doubt; Lily was frowning, staring at him as though she were trying to work out a puzzle with the wrong pieces.

"And what are you going to do?" Remus asked after a long moment.

"And what about the army of pirates waiting?" Shackelbolt demanded at the same time.

James smirked. He trailed a finger from the outer sea, through the mouth of the cove and into the bay. "I'm going to go right up the center and wake them up. Draw them out and keep them busy."

The corner of Remus' mouth twitched. "They'll be expecting an attack from sea. Their entire focus will be on the frontal attack—moving men to the boats and boats to meet us."

"They'll be so busy watching the front door, you can slip in through the back, find Sirius and Dora and retreat to the woods. They won't be able to follow you there," James finished. He saw the beginnings of a frown on Remus' face, but James turned swiftly, focusing his attention on Shacklebolt.

"Shacklebolt," James walked around the desk, catching Shacklebolt's elbow. "I'll need six, no eight of your men. Eight of your best men with nothing to lose," James finished, dropping his voice a little lower.

Shacklebolt tilted his head, lips twisting into an ironic smile. "We're pirates, James. None of us have anything to lose."

James pulled him to a stop just before they reached the door of the cabin. "And I'll need to borrow your ship."

Shacklebolt's eyebrows lifted, but he tilted his head in agreement. "If I may, James," he began, his voice low enough it only carried to James' ears, "what are you going to do when all those men come after you with their boats and weapons? The cove is too small for maneuvering ships and the mouth too narrow and dangerous for escape."

"We're not leading them on a race. None of the ships are getting out of the cove," James took a quick glance over his shoulder, before forcing a smile. "And don't think I won't have a few surprises for them when they come for us."

James felt Shacklebolt's fingers grasp his forearm in silent acknowledgement, and then he was gone from the room. Taking a deep breath, James pivoted to face Remus.

Remus' eyes were fixed on James' face, but he didn't speak. He didn't ask the rest of the plan, as if he could see it written across James' face. Which, James concluded, after all these years he probably could.

"Find me seven good men," James ordered. "Tell the crew they'll either be scaling a cliff or taunting the coven. Let those who are willing volunteer and then pick the rest."

Remus nodded sharply. "And if the coven doesn't take the bait."

"They'll take the bait." James' mind was already six steps ahead, a slight smile on his face that was a bit too toothy. "I'm going to take a page out of Sirius' book and give them a flashy show they can't ignore."

"Seven men—"

"Six," Lily interrupted, coming around the desk to face them both.

James went rigid. "Not this time. You're going with Remus to help lead—"

"No, I'm not."

James refused to admit he gaped at her, though he felt his jaw go slightly slack at the sharp, stubborn rejection of his order. A part of him was still planning the raid, jumping between cannon fire, hidden weapons, flour, nets…he shook his head sharply. No.

"That wasn't a suggestion, Lily."

Lily's eyes narrowed and her hand made a twitching motion near her hip, almost as if her fingers were seeking a weapon. James paused, focusing on the movement and wondering when such a reflex had become a part of Lily.

"You asked for seven crew members, seven _volunteers_. Well I'm volunteering." Lily looked sharply at Remus, daring him to contradict her. "Six men."

She shoved past James, and where her arm brushed his it lit a smoldering fire along his skin. He felt rather than heard the door slam as she left.

There was a moment of heavy silence. Remus watching him warily as James stepped up to the desk. There was another moment, and then James swept the log books, the parchment, and candles to the floor. A lantern smashed open, the candle rolled along the scattered glass back towards James' foot. The parchments fluttered and the log books seemed to groan as they hit the floorboards.

To his credit, Remus did not even flinch. The bland look on his face was so achingly familiar, so long absent after all these months, James almost forget his anger and hugged his friend. But there were only hours until sunset, so much to do, and now Lily…

So James didn't. He grunted a repeat of his order to Remus—seven men—and let the second mate leave. James stared at the candle near his foot, the wick burned blacker then ink, and cursed.

* * *

The sea had turned a dusty pink, highlighted with orange by the time the two ships made it to the beach. The longboats were prepared with weapons and men. They did not take supplies; there would be no need.

Several of the men clapped each other on the forearm, smiling with seeming ease if the hardness in their eyes had not belayed their casualness. James watched them all, carefully observing the faces of the fifteen—because Remus had followed his orders even if Lily still refused to—men who would provide the distraction needed. Many of them probably did not truly know why they were doing this at all; they were simply following orders, simply living off the adrenalin that fueled their lot in life. James couldn't think any less of them. After all, all fifteen men had volunteered.

Remus was at his shoulder, and James transferred his gaze to Lily and Liz. The redhead whispered something to the brunette, and then they embraced. There was no falsity in their parting. James saw Lily pat her side and then her boot, Liz mirrored the move, marking where her sword and dagger were secured. They pressed foreheads, and then Liz turned to go to the last longboat.

"You could tie her up. Put her on the longboat. I'd help you," Remus' voice was soft.

Lily turned and her eyes met James'. She stayed where she was, matching his gaze, until Cook passed her on the way to the boats and clapped her on the shoulder. When she broke the stalemate, James turned his back, eyes on the horizon. It was barely hours until full sunset.

"She'd fight us…me. She'd fight me." James ran a hand through his hair. His bangs fell back into place and he sighed.

"Do you think she'd truly be safer on our side of the attack?" Remus kept his voice low and he was suddenly the second mate, the calm confidant rather than the lover seeking vengeance.

_Yes_, James wanted to say. But he didn't say a word, and Remus didn't ask again.

Remus released a breath and James looked over his shoulder to see Lily had joined the fifteen volunteers. Most of the longboats had dropped; the last one was waiting for Remus.

James turned to face his friend. "Remember, wait for my signal before you attack."

Remus lifted an eyebrow. "You haven't told me what that signal will be."

"You'll know it." James grinned a little.

Remus rolled his eyes and a small smile formed on his lips. Then it faded and he looked over his shoulder at the beach where they would climb. They could not see the cliffs of the cove yet, but they were close enough that it would hopefully not take too long for the crew to make it to the compound.

"James…just…" Remus fumbled and looked over at him. James waited, but Remus only huffed out a quick breath. Reaching out, the second mate caught the captain's forearm with his hand. His grip was tight and little purple bruises formed under the pads of his fingers. James could hardly blame him; his grip was perhaps tighter.

Then Remus slipped away, swinging over the side and to the longboat. James waited a beat, then turned on his heel to face the men he had left.

"We've got work to do."

* * *

It seemed that Lady Luck had decided to smile upon them. At least, Remus considered, until sunset. The beach had been rocky and steep, but not impassable. With Hagrid on top and the extra ropes, the men and Liz had managed to scale the beach and make it into the forest in good time. Breaking through the underbrush had been more difficult, but they had followed the compass, avoided the path, and now waited just behind the compound. There was a little deer path that led up to their position, but it was so overgrown that Remus suspected it had either been forgotten or never actively used by humans.

Leaving the men behind to watch the compound, Remus had circled the perimeter, following the edge of the forest while keeping his eyes on the largest building in the compound. They would be in there, he decided, after sneaking back toward the crew, taking in a few more deer paths, one that led toward another rocky beach. That's where Lestrange would be, and where they were probably keeping Sirius and Dora. Remus tapped his fingers impatiently along the hilt of his sword, then moved quickly to rejoin the crew.

After that he split them down the middle, mixing some of his crew with Shacklebolt's and vice versa, then he sent Shacklebolt toward the right flank of the compound with quick orders. He kept Liz and Hagrid with him, reminded both crews not to light any fires, then waited.

And waited.

The sun had just kissed the edge of the horizon when Remus wandered toward the edge of their campsite. None of the men were sleeping, too wired about the coming battle, too caught up thinking about their comrades on the boats. Beyond the posted guard, just at the edge of the trees, Remus could make out a slim figure watching the compound. He patted the guard on the arm, then followed the broken grass to stand at Liz's shoulder.

Liz jumped slightly, but quickly returned her gaze to the compound. Remus could see a few pirates milling around near the water's edge, counted the eight ships that lined the port, then looked beyond to the slim entrance of the cove lit red-orange from the setting sun.

"Do you think this is going to work?"

Remus glanced down at her, then looked back toward the sun. "I think if it doesn't work…it won't really matter." He felt her look over and repressed a sigh. "I think this is the last move of the game and one way or the other it ends tonight."

Liz shifted on the balls of her feet. Her fingers brushed the sword at her side, then began to pick at the bark of the tree on her other side.

"Are you scared?" she asked, so softly that Remus almost missed it. As if she was embarrassed by the question, and half hoped he hadn't heard. He looked sharply at her, but Liz didn't meet his eyes. She stared instead at the compound, fixated like a bug too close to a flame.

Scared? He was a pirate, he had killed men. Remus had marauded on Moody's ship, had killed under James' watch. He'd faced Riddle's own crew, then the Duke of England without too many cracks to his own calm mask. And yet ever since finding the necklace Remus had flung himself half-cocked at Lestrange and Sirius and James. He had fumbled, faltered, and fallen sometimes so low that it was a wonder James hadn't thrown him off the ship. He'd sulked and brooded, insulted and snapped. And through it all the feeling just under the surface had been the same and now more than ever…

Remus swallowed. "I'm scared I'm not strong enough."

Liz twisted to look at him.

"I'm scared that after everything, I'm still an eighteen year old boy whose too small, not fast enough, too weak going up against someone bigger, faster…_better_ than me." In his pocket, Remus' fingers tangled with Dora's necklace. "I'm afraid I'm going to make the same mistake I did then."

The back of Liz's hand bumped against his. Remus twitched slightly at the touch. "You're not a boy anymore, Remus," Liz reminded him.

He stared at her. Then his lips pulled into a bitter, toothy smile and Remus turned his gaze back to the compound. He focused on the windows that were lit and the shadows moving across the illuminated panes. His teeth bared a little more.

"No. I'm not."

* * *

James sat hunched over one of the nets in the lower hull of the ship. Several of the cords were frayed or snapped, leaving more than a few gaping holes in the netting. He twisted some thin rope around his fingers, weaving it among the older threads to repair the biggest of the holes.

The crates or barrels containing additional powder or weapons had been scrounged from the lower decks. Most of the men were above deck on either of the ships. At least four of the men were combining the nets while others loosened rigging and kept the ship on its steady course. James had already lain most of the booby traps along the deck, accompanied by packets of flour and powder, securing cannons along the rails and using the last of the pitch. The preparations were almost done, everything was almost done. It was part of the reason he had retreated to the darkest part of the hull.

James' fingers slipped against the coarse rope and he released a muffled yelp. Dropping the net, he eyed the reddening rope burns on his fingertips. James braced his elbows on his knees, letting his hands hang loosely between his legs.

He had tried to catch Lily after laying the plan out for the men, after instructing them on what he wanted and what their job was once they got into the cove. James had tried not to watch Lily's face as he spoke, but she was up front, with her red hair and eyes that no one could miss or ignore. So he'd spelled out the plan for her in particular, trying to explain in details and booby traps why she should have gotten in the longboat.

After he'd finished, she'd turned and walked away to collect extra rope. James couldn't tell if she was angry that he was trying to protect her, angry at his plan, or just angry at him.

The sound of fabric brushing against wood brought his head up, and even in the dim light he could make out Lily. Sliding off the box he'd perched on, James watched her navigate the supplies to shove several coils of rope off a crate. He leaned his hip against the barrel and watched her pull an old hammock from the crate. She shook it out and dust and frayed rope tickled James' nose. He sneezed.

Lily turned sharply. The lantern light hid her eyes, but he could see the downward pinch of her lips. She watched him for a moment, then turned and shook the hammock again.

"They need these on the other ship," she said. Glancing over her shoulder, Lily nodded once at the net James had dropped. "That one too."

James knelt and picked up the net, stroking the bundled material with his fingers. Acutely aware of the sun getting closer to the horizon and the impending arrival at the cove, he walked around the crates, only coming to a stop when he was a few feet away from Lily. Without a word he held out the bundle of net, far enough away that she would have to step closer to reach it.

"You're angry at me."

Lily's eyes narrowed at the bundle in his hands as if she knew what he was thinking. And of course she did, James mused. She always did.

"Yes, I'm angry with you." It was so soft he almost didn't catch it. "But not angry enough to waste more time." She came forward, trying to tug the net from James' grip, but he tightened his own hold at the last second.

"Lily, would you at least listen to me—"

She tugged hard and the net came free from his grip. Bringing it close against her chest, Lily groped behind her for the hammock and rope. "I need to get these above deck. Captain's orders." Her shoulder knocked against him when she passed.

"Lily, would you just _stop_!" James grabbed for her arm but caught a handful of the mesh. The nets and hammock fell between them.

"What?" Lily demanded, her face flushed.

His own anger flared. "We don't have time, there's no later or after this, Lily."

"I know," she began.

"No you don't know," he ground out, frustrated. "If you knew you would have gotten off the damn ship when I asked—no _ordered_ you to."

"I _know_, James," she snapped.

"And now," he continued as if she hadn't interrupted him, hands shaking in fists at his side. "Now it's too late and you're stuck here—"

"Is that what you think I am?" Lily snorted, but it held no amusement. "Stuck?"

"We're going to die," James snarled and the words echoed painfully in the hallway. To say it out loud hurt more than he realized. He hadn't said the words to Remus, hadn't needed to say the words to the men. He'd tried to say it a few times while prepping the booby traps, but he couldn't get the words to form on his lips. And yet now, in the dark hull, against the anger at Lily and the frustration about what was to come at sunset, now he blurted it out too easily.

"But if you had gone…" James stopped again, running a hand over his face. "Damn it Lily, why couldn't you have listened to me just this once. I knew what I was doing…"

He looked up when fingers encircled his wrist and drew his hand away from his face. "I told you I would be here," Lily whispered, "I would be whoever you needed. Do what you needed."

"And what if I needed you to go?"

The skin where her fingers had been _burned_. James watched her pull away, flush rising further on her cheeks. He reached out and caught her own wrist, but didn't pull her toward him.

"I needed to do this. I had to do this, Lily. And you…you didn't."

She slapped him. His face stung and he gaped just a little at her, releasing his grip and taking a stumbled step back. She'd hit him once, after he'd left her on the inn, after she had returned to save his life. But that felt like a lifetime ago and even then her eyes hadn't looked so…hurt.

"Don't you _dare_," she broke off, swallowing hard. "Don't you dare, James."

And then Lily was gone, leaving the nets at his feet; leaving him alone in the cold hull with a stinging cheek.

James turned and kicked a crate hard, releasing a loud curse. He dropped his hands, bracing his palms against the wooden box. The hiss of the wick in the lantern, the blood roaring in his ears, his heartbeat…it all faded away. And he heard…

_"How much longer do you want me to wait, James?"_

_ "Are you ready to die yet, James? Because I'm certainly not."_

_ "Understand? How could _you_ understand?"_

"_I gave you a sword. I taught you to use it. What you did with it was your own choice."_

He kicked the crate again and some of the wood gave under the weight of his boot. He ignored it, ignored the little voice in the back of his head that said a broken toe would just tip the odds even more against him…

_ "I will never love you any less."_

James shoved himself away from the crate, stumbling slightly, then turning toward the door. He caught up with her halfway down the shadowed hallway, just outside the door of her room.

"Lily, wait."

She stopped so suddenly that he had to brace a hand on the wall to not run into her. "That hurt," James pointed out to her.

Lily blinked. "Good."

"Lily," he tried when she went to turn away again.

"You are a good man, James. A good _pirate_, even." Her voice was icy. "A loyal friend. You think you're selfish when really you're not; you're honorable and willing to do so much for those you care about." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "But you can be a fool."

"A fool," he repeated, voice rising. He swallowed down the anger, trying to keep his emotions tempered. "A fool to want you safe? To not want to watch you die?"

"A fool because you don't think I warrant the same courtesy," she snapped.

James recoiled, faltering back a step.

"That I shouldn't want you safe or couldn't bear to watch you die." She reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt in a fist to prevent him from moving away, not that he could have. The anger drained a little more from each word, until it had leaked out completely.

"Or wouldn't want to be at your side to defend you. To die with you."

Something in his chest broke. It was the only explanation James could come up with. Nothing compared to this burning the crawled into his chest, ruptured and trembled through his entire body and leaked into his soul. Fear and love warred together, but couldn't outdo the other. They melded, shattered, and left his muscles quaking under Lily's hand.

The sun was still setting and when it did, for better or worse, this ship and all the men aboard would go through the mouth of the cove. Remus would lead the men down from the forest. And everything would either burn or survive.

But right now, there was only the pressure of Lily's hand on his chest.

James grabbed her waist and pulled her roughly up against him, so their chests, hips and knees knocked together, capturing her lips and refusing to let go. He felt her gasp, felt his breath and hers mingle between them when he deepened the kiss. His lips traced the words on hers.

His heart pounded in his chest, or was it hers beating against his breast that he felt? James felt Lily squirm against him, looping her arms around his hips. James nudged her forward until they knocked against the door frame and then his shoulder hit the door. It swung under their combined weight and James stumbled through, pulling her along with him, feeling her own murmur against his mouth. With a swift kick the door slammed onto the barren hallway.

The sun dipped lower on the horizon, causing the grey shadows to stretch long against the walls of the corridor, skirting the abruptly-closed door as if in respect.

Until the sun sunk even lower and the whole corridor became shadow.

* * *

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